A/N: So… No reviews on the last chapter, but I saw that there are people reading it. I don't really care about reviews, I just did this fanfic thing to get some of the ideas out of my head. I had many, so writing it all down and posting to see that at least some of you like it, is all I want. But, with no reviews, I'm gonna be a little more lenient with updates. Whenever I get a chapter finished, it'll be uploaded. I'm not going to punish you readers because nobody's reviewing, but expect longer waits on the next chapters. I'll get it out whenever I get the time to.

Another time skip! I have a feeling you all know what's going to happen, so… Why delay the inevitable? I also re-wrote the last chapter, so if you want, go ahead and reread that. Not much is different, but it is two hundred words more than before, so…

*All mistakes are mine!*

*Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Twilight Saga!*

Chapter Fourteen: My Reason (APOV)

I stood beside Luka and Maria, watching as the coffin covered in an American flag sank down into the ground. I caressed my bloated stomach, staring numbly. Luka's arm was wrapped around my waist, the only thing that kept me up. His parents stood on the other side of me, his mother sobbing quietly.

I, on the other hand, had no more tears left.

When the officers had showed up at my doorstep, I knew immediately what had happened.

FLASHBACK:

Catherine, Michelle, Maria, and I were sitting down in the kitchen, sipping on tea.

"Has Nathaniel written at all?" Maria asked.

"No… I expected something by now." I said, rubbing my stomach with one hand as the baby kicked.

"Luka wasn't able to send me anything until last week. I'm sure everything's fine." she said, laying a comforting hand on mine.

And, as fate would have it, I learned the exact opposite.

A knock on the door interrupted us.

I looked around the table, wondering who it was.

"Who is it?" Catherine whispered, asking what I was thinking.

I shrugged, my heart beating out of my chest. I got up with Maria's help and waddled to the door. I could hear the three girls behind me. I looked through the window next to the door, and my heart dropped.

"Lexie?" Michelle's voice spoke up. "Who is it?"

I wasn't able to answer her. I put one hand over my mouth and another on my stomach as tears filled my eyes.

"Alexa?"

I closed my eyes and braced myself for the news I was about to receive. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes, then opened the door.

"Alexa Benton?"

I looked at both army officers and nodded. As soon as I had opened the door, their gaze went down to my stomach, and they each shared a look full of pity. I swallowed loudly. "Y-" I cleared my throat. "Yes. I- I am."

"I'm Lieutenant Alton Garner, and this is Sergeant Otis Mills. We regret to inform you that…"

That was all I heard. I looked away from them and across the street as the tears fell down my face. I watched as children played on bikes and girls chased boys and listened as the boys screamed out "Cooties!" Everything was normal for them.

"Ms. Benton?"

"He's dead?" My voice was flat, monotone. I felt hands on me and soothing words being whispered in my ear.

Lieutenant Garner hesitated, alarmed by my tone. "Yes, ma'am… I'm deeply sorry."

"He's dead."

Nobody answered. They let it sink in for a minute.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"His body-" I flinched, "-is in the morgue of your local hospital. They've agreed to keep him until you can get whatever funeral arrangements you may want."

I nodded mutely. "Does his brother know? The rest of his family?"

"We just came from there. They already know. Luka was told after Nathaniel was identified."

I sniffed, nodded, and looked down. "Okay. Thank you."

"Ms. Benton, if you need anything, here's our contact information. Again, I'm deeply sorry." And with that they walked away. I closed the door.

"Lexie?" Catherine, at least I think it was Catherine, asked.

"Hm?" I asked, not looking up from the floor.

"Is everything okay?"

"Uh…" That was when it sank in. A sob escaped. "No. No, it's…"

"Who was that, Lexa? What did they say?"

"Nathaniel. He- he's…" More sobs escaped my chest and I fell to the ground. They all raced over to me. They didn't need an explanation.

"I'm so sorry, Alexa…"

END FLASHBACK.

I'd cried continuously the next week. Within that week, Luka was honorably allowed to come back home. We all organized the funeral. I'd decided to move out of my parents' house, so I was staying at Catherine's for a little while. Everything had changed.

It seemed to take forever as the flag-covered-coffin made its way into the ground. I looked over the hole in front of me, and to the other end of the cemetery. Ironically enough, the Benton Family Plot was right across the way from the Masen's, giving me the view of not only one, but four of the most important people in my life.

All of them were dead.

One hadn't been born yet.

The others weren't family by blood, but sure felt like it.

I couldn't do this anymore.

I turned and tried to walk away, tears filling my eyes again. Luka's arm gripped tighter as he leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Breathe, Lexie. Just breathe."

"I can't- I can't do this anymore." I sobbed quietly.

"I know. But you are strong enough to get through this. If anybody can deal with this, it's you. Just breathe."

"I look over and I see my family's graves. Then my husband's. I don't have anybody left, Luka. This baby is it. And with my luck she won't live past her first birthday." I sobbed.

"Hey, don't say that. You don't know that this baby will be perfectly fine, Lexa. The stress sure isn't helping, but you have to have hope."

"Hope? Hope died when my mother died at my side. Then again when my brother died. I had hope with Nathaniel, and now it's gone again. What's that saying… 'Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.' What happens after three?"

"Lex-"

"Or after four? What happens then? So, no, Luka. I have no hope. I may never have hope." I jerked out of his grip and walked away, breathing heavily.

I heard somebody start to come after me, but Luka's voice spoke up. "No. Let her go. She needs time to herself.

But that was it. I didn't want to be by myself. Being alone reminded me of just how alone I was. How, the only reason I had for living, was just about as weak as I am. And that's exactly what I was.

Weak.

One thing was clear, this baby deserved more than I could offer. But I couldn't imagine giving her up. Not now, not ever.

She was my reason.

Nathaniel's voice popped into my head.

"You have to live through it, Alexa." he said quietly. "If I don't come back… You have to take care of yourself. If not for me, than for the baby. Please. She needs her mother if she can't have both parents."

I could do that, couldn't I? I could be what my child needed. I would have to be. I had no other choice.

I could do this.

My life would change after this. Not just me. Not for Nathaniel. For my reason. My reason for living.

A/N: I know… Not much emotion, but I did skip over a week. I didn't think you need a recap of what happened the last time she planned a funeral, so I didn't want to bore you all to death. Just a few more chapters until something big happens, so… Keep me on your alerts.

Review, don't review, whatever.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Laters,

~Em