Prompt: love

prompt #: 5/200

word count: 529

I'm not sure if I like this but I'm being brave and posting anyway.

"Stop pacing, Arthur."

The king grunted and walked around Merlin, resuming his attempt create a hole in the floor. Merlin sighed, Arthur couldn't afford to be like this today, and Merlin couldn't deal with this today.

Today Arthur and Gwen wed. Today Camelot gained a queen.

And Merlin was happy. Or at least he wanted to be, but there was something in him that whispered that there is love, and then, there is love. And Merlin worried that this would end badly because there was always a part of him whispering that this wedding was one of settling, not one out of true love.

Oh, of course Arthur loved Gwen, and Gwen him, it was in the way he'd changed when she was gone and it was in the softening of her mocha eyes when she looked at him. But it wasn't the kind of love that was born of fire and passion and it wasn't fierce.

And that was ok, it was ok and Arthur would do well with a love that was warm and comforting not fiery and passionate. He would do well and so would Camelot. Gwen would be a good queen, the kind that would rule fairly.

The kind that would heal the wounds of the past.

He knew he was worrying over nothing but, still - no, no. They'd lost much in the last year and he couldn't bring himself to question a good thing any longer. His job now was to rid the king of his nerves.

"Arthur!"

Arthur stopped and turned and something changed in his face. Less manic, more cautious, more reserved.

"Am I making a mistake? Tell me I'm not making a mistake!"

Merlin swallowed any doubt remaining then, because this was Arthur, and Arthur needed him and so he couldn't doubt.

"Do you love her?"

"What?"

"Guinevere. Do you love her?"

"I'm marrying her! Of course I love her! Just not - "

"Then what are you asking me Arthur?"

Arthur stared at him a moment blue meeting blue, there is something there and Arthur's lips part as if he's about to say something, something that Merlin both dreads and yearns for in the same breath to the extent that it hurts.

Burns really.

His lips start to form the syllables but Merlin shakes his head and Arthur lowers his, before raising it with a nod. Arthur swallows, and Merlin's eyes follow the movement before he too nods.

Nothing is said as Merlin dresses his king, his eyes never straying from the floor.

(Centuries later he will still be regretting this moment because he knows like he has known since his king lay in his arms, dying, and asking to be held in the same breath. Knows that Arthur would have given it up if Merlin asked, it tastes sour on his tongue to think of all the wasted time, all the things they'd never do. All the words unspoken. And he waits, he will always wait, till the end of time if it comes to it).

There is love, and then, there is love.