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Baby Makes Three

Chapter Fourteen

"I have to say," Teddy smiled as she walked in the room where Derek and was waiting, his chart in hand. "You look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you." She glanced around the room. "No Meredith today?"

"She's working," It had been impossible for her to take any more time off, even if it was a pretty important appointment for him. She'd have to take enough time off towards the end of her pregnancy, and she was far behind the rest of her peers. "And I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment, or if you're trying to say I looked like crap before." At least he was in a better mood than he had been three weeks ago. That was progress.

"I guess it depends on how you you look at it." She was definitely happy to see him in a better state of mind. Derek Shepherd was a great surgeon, and a good man, but he wasn't exactly fun to be around when he got into one of his moods. The whole hospital knew that. "How have you been feeling?"

"Better than I was when you saw me in surgery." He offered, watching the same screen she did as she started the echo.

Teddy wasn't going to trust another person's word for it this time. She wanted to see for herself just how his heart looked. "I have a source that tells me you were digging holes in your backyard last week." She turned the screen so she could get a better look at things.

Derek frowned when he lost sight of the images of his heart, but he trusted Teddy. She knew how to make a good assessment and diagnosis, and his opinion really was sub-par to hers. If they were looking at a brain, sure. He would be the bigger influence. But hearts were her thing, so he focused on his excuse for planting the tree, the tree he was sure Cristina Yang had told her about. Meredith told her everything, and he was sure his wife hadn't just walked up and volunteered his bad habits to his surgeon. "We planted a tree in memory of Grayson. I didn't want Meredith digging the hole."

"Derek." Teddy frowned a bit, looking over at him. "Digging holes definitely wasn't part of my instructions to you." She obviously wasn't too thrilled that he hadn't listened to what she said. Still, her heart ached for them. She couldn't imagine what it felt like to lose a child. "What kind of tree?"

"Crabapple. Meredith picked it out." He wasn't much into the conversation, though. Derek's attention was on Teddy's expressions as she finished up his echo, trying to get a good reading on what she was thinking.

"You've still got some fluid there." She confirmed as she put the machine away, tossing his shirt over to him.

He was grateful for it as he sat up, pulling it on. Sitting there in front of his co-worker, shirtless, wasn't exactly a thrill. Not when he'd be seeing her in the hallway every day. It made things a bit awkward.

"But you already knew that, didn't you?"

Derek glanced over to her as he finished buttoning up his shirt. "Still having some difficulty breathing." He admitted. "Not all the time, but often enough. Guess that means you're not clearing me for work?" He sighed, glancing at the calendar on the wall. He'd been out for far too long. Surgery sort of made Derek Shepherd who he was, or at least a big part of who he was. He didn't know what to do with himself when he wasn't working, not for very long at least.

"Actually, I think we could come up with a compromise." Teddy had been around long enough to know that her patient's mental state was almost just as important as their physical state, especially when it came to someone like Derek Shepherd. Keeping him from his job wasn't really going to be a winning formula for any of them. "I don't think releasing you to work is a bad idea." She admitted. "I don't want you pulling forty-eight hour shifts, though. Ten hours, max."

"I can think of quite a few surgeries that take ten hours, Teddy." Derek sighed. He was glad, that she was at least giving him the go-ahead to cut, but ten hours seemed almost like a joke.

"It's not forever." She reminded him. "Derek..." Teddy put his chart down, looking over. "Your heart is still enlarged."

For a moment, he thought about his wife. In that moment, all he could see was Meredith's face. He'd promised her that there wouldn't be anything wrong, that he'd be as good as new. And now...he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "How bad is it?" They were the only words he could manage.

"I still hesitate to say this is permanent. I can't find any damage to your heart, or anything that really jumps out at me that says you're going to have to manage this long-term. It may be that your body is just taking longer to bounce back than we expected. It doesn't look as bad as it did when I saw you the last time, and that leads me to believe this will resolve. But, Derek.." She paused. "I'm serious when I say you need to be careful. I want you paying attention to how you're feeling. If you have chest pains, difficulty breathing, palpitations..."

"I know the drill.." At least she wasn't jumping straight to medication. A prescription would mean she was admitting heart failure. A prescription would mean something serious, and he wasn't ready for that. He didn't know how to handle that, not after he'd promised Meredith his heart would be as good as new.

"I know that you know." She stood. "I'm more interested in making sure you actually do what I'm saying. You're not the best listener."

"I've got a baby on the way." He reminded her. "And a wife that will kill me if I don't take care of myself."

"Good." Teddy smiled. "I'll see you back in a month then. By then we should be able to get a better idea of whether or not this is going to resolve itself. Let me know if you have any problems."

"Dr. Altman..." He stopped her just before she left the room. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She smiled and disappeared behind the door.

** GA ** GA ** GA **

"So, how did it go?" Meredith was upbeat and peppy when she saw Derek turning the corner. His navy blue scrubs and black shoes brought a smile to her face. Her Derek. Surgeon Derek. He was working again, which meant...Teddy cleared him. His heart was all perfect again. "Surgery?" She was dying to scrub in on something good, and she quickly scribbled the last note in her patient's chart before sliding it aside.

"Craniotomy." He glanced at the clock. "An hour. I'm guessing you want in?" He smiled as he pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head as fingers ran through her ponytail. It didn't matter anymore, if anyone saw them. They were married. Derek didn't care about the looks, or the comments.

"Am I invited?" She grinned, looking up at him as her hand moved to rest on the front pocket at the left of his scrub top.

"Mmm..." He ran one hand down over the small of her back. "I guess I could make room for you. Whose service were you supposed to be on?"

"I was actually just getting caught up on charts. I left yesterday before they were finished. Doctor Hunt sort of let me off the hook, so I wouldn't have to stay late tonight. What did Teddy say? "

"I'll see you in an hour." He smiled, kissing her forehead again before he let her go. The hallway, at work, wasn't exactly the best place to discuss anything. Besides, he didn't want to see that beautiful smile disappear from her face the way he knew it would when he explained that everything wan't quite okay yet.

"Derek?" The smile disappeared anyway. He was avoiding her question. Meredith could see that, clearly.

"Mer," He sighed.

"What did Teddy say?" She repeated the question, more slowly this time.

Derek paused, realizing he wasn't going to get away without answering her. "She cleared me to work." He started with the positives, hoping that would help ease her mind. "Ten hour shifts. Heart was still a bit enlarged and there's still some fluid there, but she thinks it will resolve on it's own."

"That's what she said three weeks ago." Meredith wasn't buying it. She wasn't keen on taking chances with his health, not when it came to things that were this serious. "Did she at least put you on anything?"

"She doesn't think I need it right now."

"Your heart is huge, Derek. And it's unable to even function enough for you to keep up with your regular work schedule. What about that spells good health?"

"Mer, it's going to be okay."

"You're not even allowed to work a full day!"

"I know." He could tell there wasn't much he was going to be able to say, not with her freaking out.

"You promised me it was going to be okay." Her voice was softer.

"And I meant it."

"You can't make promises like that."

"Meredith."

"You can't, Derek." She sighed. "I'll see you in an hour."

"Mer."

She wasn't having any of it, already headed off in another direction as she wiped away fresh tears.

There was no use going after her. He knew that much. It would have to wait, until she'd had time to digest everything, until she'd calmed down a little bit.

"Shep," Mark slapped his hand down on his friend's shoulder before he had a chance to react. "Long time no see. Glad to see you back."

"Thanks." Derek glanced at mark, rubbing his arm. "You know, normal people just say hi."

"Yeah, but we're brothers." Mark pointed out. "And I don't think normal..."

"Doctor Shepherd."

"Dr. Kepner." Derek turned to look at the person who belonged to the voice behind him.

"I...uh...you're back..." She suddenly seemed at a loss for words, taking a step back.

"Spit it out, Kepner." Mark frowned. He couldn't really make sense of that one. Seemed to him that any person five steps away from becoming a surgeon should probably have a little more self-reliance...something. Instead, she always seemed like such a lost...puppy.

"I have a patient...with a brain..."

Mark couldn't help but laugh, even when Derek shot him a look.

"I think a bleed."

"You think." Derek frowned a bit at her. "Where's your patient, Dr. Kepner?"

"No, I mean..." April sighed. "Everyone's been worried, about you. Cristina said you..." She stopped herself when she caught site of the glare Mark was giving her. "We're glad your back." Another pause when she realized she still looked like an idiot. Her face turned red. "My patient. She does have a bleed." She finally handed him over the scans in her hand. "Acute. Following a fall. She's twenty-two. Has a daughter. Bailey said to page someone. But..."

Derek glanced through the scans, holding them up toward the light so he could at least see what they were dealing with. "Meet me in OR three."

"Wait, now?" April suddenly looked nervous.

"I either operate now, or you can page whoever it is that Bailey wanted you to page."

"Right." April nodded a bit.

"Look, Dr. Kepner..." Derek could tell her nerves weren't going anywhere. "Make sure OR three is clear, and I'll go meet your patient. We'll be up in ten minutes."

"Okay..."

"Go." Mark sighed, shaking his head when she finally walked off. "I think you scare her." He laughed, looking back at Derek.

"I'm not a very scary type of guy." Derek couldn't help but laugh too. "If anyone scares the residents, it's you."

** GA ** GA ** GA **

"You get off at five tonight, right?" Meredith looked over at Derek as she stood in the kitchen with him the next morning.

"Technically, I think five a.m. is in the morning," He grinned, pulling her into his arms.

"Smarty-pants." Meredith playfully rolled her eyes, looking up at him. "I won't be home until nine or so."

"Are you hungry? You should eat something, considering..."

"Maybe, a little." She sat down at the table. "I think baby Shepherd is hungry." It had been a long night for her. Morning sickness had seemed to come back with a vengence, robbing her of both comfort and sleep.

"You know..." Derek glanced over to her as he dug through the refrigerator, trying to forget about how worried he was about her considering the rough night she'd had. "We should come up with a better name, for the baby. Baby Shepherd, it's a little long."

She couldn't help but laugh. Despite how she felt, despite everything that was going on, she laughed. Affectionately, and protectively, she ran her hand over her belly, looking down at the small baby bump that was visible through her tank-top. "You should come up with something then, because I'm not so good at names."

"As I recall, you're the one that decided on McDreamy."

"Which is why..."

"I should choose." He finally settled on eggs. It was one of the few things she'd been able to eat throughout her pregnancy that agreed with her stomach, most of the time. "Eggs okay?"

"Baby Shepherd likes eggs."

He loved her smile. It had been missing for weeks, and so for Derek, seeing her smile was incredible. It gave him the boost he needed to keep believing that things were going to be okay, that they were going to make it. "What about jelly-bean?"

"You want to name our baby boy jelly-bean?"

He laughed at the face she made, grabbing a plate from the cabinet. "We're not having a boy."

"Yes we are. We are having a boy." Her argument was firm. "I'm the mommy. I know these things." It had taken some time, but as the days went by, her pain from losing Grayson wasn't as acutely raw as it had been. And she was able to imagine having another son.

"It's a girl, Meredith. Baby Shephe..."

"Jelly-bean." She cut him off.

"What?" Confusion spread across his face.

"The baby...you said his name was jelly-bean. And then you..."

"So you like it now?"

"I could learn to like it. But if he hates it, that's on you." She grinned.

"She's not going to hate it. She's going to love it. Jelly-bean is good, Mer. For a girl, or a boy. Isn't that the whole point, to pick a name that works for both? Just in case, since we don't know?" He sat down at the table with her, sliding her plate over.

"It's good. Jelly-bean...I like it."

"Good."

"Yep." She smiled and took a bite of eggs when he finished and put them in front of her.

"Good, right?"

"Jelly-bean thinks it's great." She couldn't help but laugh, glancing down at her belly. "Daddy gave you a ridiculous nickname. So when you get out of here, you can blame him. Mommy tried to reason with him. But sometimes..."

"Meredith." Derek laughed and shook his head. For the first time, in a long time, things felt right again. Things felt normal, happy.

"And see, another lesson. Daddy gives ridiculous names, and he interrupts. So when you learn to talk, learn from mommy. She..."

"Names everything after McDonalds."

"Not McDonalds.." She was laughing to the point of barely being able to pronounce simple words, wrapping her arm around her belly.

"For instance..." Derek grinned. "McDreamy, McSteamy, McBaby."

"McBaby was Cristina's." She argued. "Mommy's friend, Cristina. And it was actually a collective effort. You'll learn one that is one day. The names, they weren't really my idea."

"Mommy tells stories. Daddy might give ridiculously cute names and interrupt, but mommy lies."

"So does Daddy." She watched as he cleaned up the dishes, tossing them all into the dishwasher when she'd finished eating.

"You should lie down for a while." Derek came up behind Meredith as she got up, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She loved it when he rested his hand on her belly, a soft smile spreading across her lips despite the argument she had against his suggestion. "I'm okay."

"Mer.." His lips kissed the top of her head, one hand gently rubbing her arm. "You didn't get any sleep last night."

"I'm not really tired. And I've got a shift."

"In three hours," He reminded her. "You're exhausted."

There was no fooling him. She knew that. So, she gave up. "I can't sleep, Derek."

"I'll go with you. We can nap together. You, and I, and jelly-bean."

She couldn't help but smile a bit, leaning back in his arms with her head on his chest. "Okay," She followed him upstairs without anymore argument, settling into bed with him.

"I was thinking.." Meredith shifted a bit in his arms, getting comfortable while resting her hand on his torso. "Maybe it would be cool to wait and find out jelly-bean's gender when he's born."

"We already know she's a girl."

"Stop that." Meredith laughed, nudging him. "I'm serious."

"If that's what you want, Mer, that's okay with me." Derek was just the same as he always had been. His goal was to make his wife happy, to do whatever he could to bring a smile to her face.

She smiled and turned her head so she could look at him. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. But if we have a girl, we aren't going to have a room for her."

"Jelly-bean isn't a girl. And even if she is, girls can like the Yankees."

Derek was still smiling, but the expression in his eyes told a different story. The mention of the Yankees room they'd put together when she was pregnant with their son reminded him of what they'd lost, of that tiny baby boy he'd held in his arms after her emergency c-section.

"Derek."

"It still hurts, sometimes."

"Hurts me too." She admitted. It didn't take words for her to know what he was thinking. Derek's thoughts were obvious, or at least they were to her. "Sometimes I still hate that I could never hold him, that he died before we ever got to meet him. I just think...maybe it would be easier if I could have told him goodbye, given him a kiss.."

"Mer." He hated that he'd made her cry, his finger gently wiping her tears away.

"Do you think it's wrong, for us to use that nursery? If we have a boy, do you think it's wrong?"

"I think we put so much love and work into that nursery, Mer, and I think..." He sighed when her tears fell faster. "We don't have to decide now."

"Maybe we could just, repaint. We could repaint, if we have a girl. And..." Her heart was crushed. "Or..."

"Mer."

"I'm just, stuck. Really, stuck. And I hate this. I hate it."

"We're having a baby, Meredith. Bad things happened the last time you were pregnant. We lost a son. But we're not losing this baby. We're going to have a family."

"I hope so."

"We are, Mer. This baby..." His hand rubbed her belly. "This baby is going to be the start of our family."

"I hope he's like you." She whispered, finally wiping the rest of her tears away as she laid her head back down.

Derek simply smiled, rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down enough to sleep.

"I can't sleep."

He didn't miss a beat. "We could talk."

"About what?"

"Baby names." Derek smiled.

"Do you hear that, jelly-bean?" Her smile soon matched his. "Daddy already wants to name you, and you're only fifteen weeks old."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Mommy's just a procrastinator."

"Procrastinator...is someone who waits until the last minute to do things. Puts things off. I'm not one of those." She spoke to her belly, to her jelly-bean.

"She's a dictionary too."

"A dictionary is a book that tells you what big words mean."

"Meredith.."

His laughing caused her own sad demeanor to turn to giggling. 'What? The words you're using are too big. Jelly-bean can't understand."

"I wasn't aware that we couldn't use big words."

"It's just not very nice, that's all." She grinned. "Lets talk baby boy names first."

He laughed a bit and simply shook his head, thinking. "Jacob."

"Or Ethan," She smiled. "And I like that one too. Oh, and Jude."

"Like, Hey Jude? The Beatles?"

Meredith made a face. "Not like the Beatles. So. Ethan, or Jacob."

"Those are nice." He agreed, smiling.

"Two good, solid names. And we agreed. Which means we should stop. Otherwise we could jinx it." She yawned.

"You're amazing. You know that, right?" He smiled, giving her the famous McDreamy look. "And this baby..."

"He's going to be amazing too." She smiled, reaching over for his hand.

For the first time in a long time, Derek felt like it was going to be okay, he felt like they were going to make it. "She's going to be just like you, Meredith. Beautiful, resilient, and extraordinary."

* Revised 6.2017