Wait an actual update? I'm not dead? No I just suck. Yes I was super busy for a long time and then the past week I haven't had an excuse so I'm sorry, like genuinely sorry. I'm also sorry that this chapter isn't that long and basically sucks but the next is going to be nothing but fluff and will hopefully be up within the next week but I'm not making any more promises. Another reason I suck is because I don't really have a song for this chapter, but you should go listen to Young by Vallis Apps just because its like my favorite song ever. I don't own anything.

Jude and I sat at a smaller lunch table towards the corner of the cafeteria where nobody could hear us talking or see the occasional pecks we gave each other. While Jude and I normally don't have lunch together we did this week due to standardized testing, and frankly we loved it. Not only did getting to see Jude while I was eating give me something to look forward to during my grueling classes but it also put a smile on my face. As Jude ate his peanut butter and jelly I snacked on some pita chips, not being that hungry. While Jude and I would normally talk about the craziness that had ensued in his house this morning, we spent the first ten minutes of lunch talking about how excited we were for the upcoming marching competition our band would be attending this weekend.

"The only part I'm not excited for is the two hour drive there," Jude commented, "Do you know how cramped it's going to be on that bus?"

I laughed silently so that I didn't spit out the milk I had just drunk. In my mind I debated if I should tell Jude what was really running through my head. A cramped two hour drive sounded to me like cuddling and sleeping in a bus seat if you asked me, surely we could make that look platonic enough.

"You know it may not be all that bad." I said matter of factly.

"Oh yeah and why is that?" Jude asked cutely while scrunching up his eyebrows as if he was actually annoyed.

"I mean we could just take a nap on the way there, preferably snuggled up together."

At my suggestion Jude closed his eyes and leaned further towards me until I was practically holding most of his body weight and then he took a deep breath as if imagining it in his head now. "That sounds so nice right now."

I nodded my head in agreement and then placed a light kiss on the top of his head before slightly nudging him to get off before somebody saw. While we had become pretty fearless about doing things in public we still couldn't risk being outed to the whole school; not because we cared what are peers thought but because my dad would probably beat me enough to put me in the hospital or worse, that's what it had become. Jude knew that my dad wasn't okay with my sexuality and that I had come out to him he just thought that I wasn't ready to be so different in the eyes of the various students that attended the school.

After several minutes of silence Jude took a sharp breath in and looked up at me from his slumped down position.

"Connor how are you going to be gone for a whole Saturday without your dad questioning you."

Shit.

For the past weeks I was able to continue attending all the band practices and events by making up some excuse that I was going over to a friend's from the baseball team or simply waiting till my excuse of a father was too drunk to notice that I was gone, but that wasn't going to work for a whole Saturday. This weekend we would be leaving by ten and wouldn't be returning until almost midnight, a lie that large was going to be hard to pull off.

"Ugh I have absolutely no idea, but I do know that there is no way I am going to miss this competition, this is what the whole season has been leading up to."

Jude nodded and wrapped an arm around my shoulders pulling me into his side. "We'll figure out something, we just need a really good idea. Maybe I could talk to Brandon or Mariana and see if they have any ideas."

"Jude as much as I love you for trying so hard, your family doesn't even know that we are dating let alone that I'm gay and my dad is a complete jerk."

Jude surprised me by not retorting with an immediate solution like normal and instead blushing and trying to hide a small smile that played at his lips.

"What?" I questioned.

Jude's cheeks darkened to an even darker shade of red before he answered, "It's just that you said you loved me again and it caught me off guard, but I liked it either way."

"Oh" I said simply, "Well I mean I do, I really do love you Judey."

"I love you too, and that's why I'm going to talk to Mariana and Brandon so we can get this figured out before Saturday. I can just tell them that your dad isn't letting you go for some stupid reason and that you need an excuse."

I thought about Jude's suggestion for a moment and considered my other options, options that I didn't really have. I could just leave without telling my dad, but I was pretty sure that wouldn't get me very far, and after that my only other option was to stand up to my father, something that made me physically tremble just thinking about.

"Okay, I guess you can talk to them, but I really don't know how they could help."

Jude sighed, "Okay I'll text them today in class and tell them to meet in the band room during study hall. You should come too so we can formulate a plan. We are going to figure this out, I promise Connor."

And this time instead of giving me a small peck on the cheek or head Jude lifted up my chin and made contact with my lips and his own.

. . .

I was the first to arrive in the band room during study hall and waited rather impatiently hoping that I wouldn't be questioned by the director or the few other teachers that lingered around the classroom for some reason. I began to scan the band room looking for any possible item or person that may provide inspiration for some kind of plan. Just as I had done a full circle of the large, slightly smelly classroom I saw Jude walk in with Brandon and followed by a very cheery Mariana.

"Hey Jude how are you?" asked Brandon politely while Mariana smiled as if encouraging the same question.

"I'm okay, how about you guys?"

I had to admit that their reactions were quite opposite of each other. Brandon simply sighed and proceeded to tell me how stressed he was with the upcoming competition on top of all of his other classes. Mariana on the other hand began a lengthy ramble about dance team and how she was super pumped because this new girl just moved to the school and rumor has it she was one of the best dancers in the state.

"Mariana," Jude said clearing his throat, "I'm sure Connor would love to hear about dance team soon but we really do need your guy's help."

"Oh yeah sorry Judicorn I completely forgot, what do we need to make a plan for?"

With Mariana's question I gulped and began to hug myself. I really didn't want to have to explain why I needed to perform a full on theater act to get to go to a marching competition. Jude knowing I wouldn't be able to explain it well and also too scared spoke up for me and began explaining the situation.

"Jude got grounded last week because he forgot to do the dishes, his dad doesn't really appreciate band and doesn't understand that the competition is for a grade so we need an excuse or plan so that he can go.

After Jude finished I peeked up from the floor and found that neither of Jude's siblings seemed to be questioning or criticizing the excuse that Jude had made up, in fact they both seemed to be in deep thought. As we waited for their brilliant minds to turn their gears and come up with something I made eye contact with Jude and mouthed a silent thank you to which he only smiled. I honestly don't know how I ever functioned as a human being in society before him, he is constantly saving me from awkward situations and conversations that I internally dread on a day to day basis. The only real explanation I could come up with is that I wasn't always like this, there must have been a time before my depression and anxiety where talking and living wasn't so scary. All of a sudden I was startled from thoughts when Mariana screeched, similar to a sound a bird at the zoo would make, and causing me to physically jump.

"Connor would your dad let you out of the house if I said I was your tutor for history and I was taking you to a museum out of town?"

I rolled the idea around in my head and decided that while my dad might let me out to see a tutor he probably wouldn't like that I was gone the whole day, but another idea did come to mind. My dad was willing to do anything at this point to make me believe I wasn't gay. All it was gonna take to get me out of the house was pretending to go on a date with a girl, only question is if Mariana would be okay with that. The three Adams Foster kids starred me down waiting for my response before I finally just decided to pull Jude aside and ask him.

"So I doubt my dad would let me leave if it was for a tutor but he would be all for it if I was going on a date." I said lifting my fingers for air quotation marks around the word date.

Jude sighed slightly before grabbing my shoulders and looking me dead in the eyes. "This is what we are gonna do, we are gonna tell Mariana that we are going with her tutor idea but you are gonna tell your dad it's a date. We won't let her get out of the car when she picks you up just so she doesn't ruin the plan, but she can wave to your dad so she believes you. Sound good?"

"Yeah, I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this Jude, you shouldn't have to." I said sadly.

Jude instantly wrapped me in his arms and rubbed his fingers across my shoulders.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Con, I LOVE the fact that I get to do things like this for you, cause guess what. I love you." He whispered the last part so that his siblings wouldn't hear.

Pulling away Mariana and Brandon looked at us with their eyebrows raised.

"Looks like you'll be picking me up for a museum date on Saturday Miss Tutor." I said with a small smile.

Thanks for reading! That is if there are still people reading this after I haven't updated for like 5 weeks. Please send me a message or comment or something if I do that again, yelling at me would definitely give me motivation. I am literally just rambling at this point. Sorry.