Hi everybody, sorry for the lack of updates. Also I apologise for not thanking everyone in my last chapter, so I'll thank all of you now: Bizzy125 x2, purplediamond7, Jewelieishness,Orgreatrandom x2, JollyVenturer, ladyAlyafaelyn, Writingwoman x2, HelenaHermionie x2, iamanundeadmonkey, HeavenHero x2, Queenofinsanity x2, inwe a., and Vampiress19.

OMG, DID YOU ALL SEE POTC 3??? And the SHOULDER ANGELS??? THAT WAS MY IDEA FIRST???????????

I should SO get a paycheck any day now. MWHAHAHAHAHA, I'M WITH DISNEY, BABY!

cough anywho. On with the show.

Well, as always, Jack escaped the brig. He has given the authoress strict instructions not to tell you how he escaped, for fear of small children trying it and parents suing us for damage control.

Jack, it's not safe anywhere.

Better to be overboard mate, this life is done.

"The trouble with you two," Jack said, running up onto the deck and looking around, "Is that you both know exactly where you're going when you die. I don't."

Heaven.

Hell.

What do you know?

bloody more then you-

Shut up Johnny.

you shut up, you bastard.

cur.

Ohh, there's an intimidating word-

Never say words you can't spell-

A man came hurtling over the side of the ship. Jack reached out calmly and took his rope.

"Thanks very much," Jack said over his shoulder. "Hang on," He warned the angels, jumping on the rope and swinging over to the other ship.

Why are we goin' over here?

"They're winning."

You can tell?

Jack hit the deck, and turned to face a dazed Gibbs.

"Jack!" Gibbs said, stunned.

Gibbs!

Johnny!

James!

Names all around!

Jack reefed out Gibbs's bottle and handed it back to him. "Bloody empty!" He snorted, walking off, with the angels still yelling random names.

Will!

Elizabeth!

Barbossa!

Monkey!

"Find something to do!" Jack hissed at them.

Oh look, a twig trying to fight.

Let's hope a gust of wind doesn't come our way.

Jack turned to see Elizabeth trying to fight off a could of pirates. Johnny looked over at James, impressed. James clamped a hand over his mouth.

I didn't mean it, it just slipped out…

Didn't know you had a mean streak in you, Jamesey.

She's just so skinny, you'd think her boyfriend would try and take her out for a meal every now and then…

Jack grabbed the hand of the pirate about to slash Elizabeth.

"That's not very nice," Jack said reprimanding him.

Elizabeth held the end of her gun and rammed it into the pirate's face.

wow.

She packs a punch for an anorexic chick.

Jack grabbed Elizabeth by the shoulders and dragged her down near some crates. "Where's the medallion?" He demanded.

"Wretch!" She screamed, pulling up a hand to slap Jack.

Oh no. Johnny said boredly. Please don't. With muscles like those, you could kill us.

Jack grabbed her wrist, eyeing the bandage smugly. "Ah," He said, "where is dear William?"

Oh, come on Jack. We could shag someone twice her size for a little extra cash…

She could be your daughter!

Elizabeth looked confused, as if she had forgotten who William was. Then she looked horrified. "Will," she muttered, jumping off and running away.

Look, James, it's your friend.

Jack glanced over to see the monkey running off with the medallion. "Monkey!" he yelped, jumping up and running after it. Both monkey and pirate rushed across the beam that had fallen, making bridge between each ship. James flew ahead and caught hold of the monkey's tail.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……..

Jack reached out to grab him, and glanced up. The monkey was sitting on Barbossa's shoulder.

"Why thank you Jack," Barbossa said smugly.

James, swinging on the monkey's tail, glanced up at the speaker, let out a small squeak and fainted, letting go of the monkey and falling into the ocean.

Jack motioned silently with his head, and Johnny flew after him.

"You're welcome," Jack replied to Barbossa.

"Not you," Barbossa said, "we named the monkey Jack."

Johnny flew back to his shoulder, James lolling in his arms.

"Gents," Barbossa yelled to the crew, holding up the medallion, "Our hope is restored!"

The crew screamed out their approval. Jack smiled absent-mindedly, eyeing Johnny as he fanned James's face.

Well, this certainly is a bit of a pickle.

Well observed, Sherlock.

"Who?" Jack muttered, wincing as the rope dug into his flesh.

"Any of you so much as thinks as using the word "parley", I'll have your guts for garters!"

Done that.

what so you mean?

Johnny yanked down his pants to reveal a dozen intestines tied around his leg.

Ewww!! Who are they?

Well, this one is Princess Diana's, and these are the Beaumont children, and this is the Chamberlain kid…

Why do you have their intestines though?

You don't think they just disappeared or died, do you?

I think I'm going to be sick-

James was interrupted by an enormous bang. Everyone turned to see the ship blow up.

Elizabeth stared in horror. "you godless pirate!" She screamed, jumping on Barbossa's back.

Skinny girl strikes again.

You would think she would realise that she isn't going to hurt a murderous pirate, don't you?

"Lizzy, Lizzy," Jack muttered to himself. "sometimes it's just better to stay still."

Barbossa surprise surprise managed to get a grip on his "attacker". "Welcome back, Miss," He leered at her. "You took advantage of out hospitality last time. It holds fair now that you return the favour."

He threw her into the group of pirates that had gathered, Elizabeth screaming pitifully all the way.

"Barbossa!"

Everyone turned.

you can never kill the pretty boys with an old fashioned bomb anymore, can you?

Will jumped off the edge of the ship and grabbed a revolver. He pointed it to Barbossa. "She goes free!" He demanded.

"What's in your head, boy?" Barbossa challenged.

"She goes free." Will repeated.

Who does this nutcase think he is, Bond?

"You've only got one shot, and we can't die." Barbossa told him gently.

"Don't do anything stupid!" Jack pleaded, edging closer.

What could he do?

That's right Jack, get a bit closer. We can tackle him and pin him to the ground, and knock him unconscious, then cut out his tongue so he can never talk again, and-

Will ran back and jumped up to the side of the ship. "You can't," He said, waving the gun around, "I can." he pointed it to his throat.

The men started to snicker.

Why… why does anyone care?

"Like that," Jack muttered, hanging his head.

You had your chance, mate. One solid kick to the groin, he would have gone down pretty quickly-

"Who ARE you?" Barbossa asked bewilderedly.

Jaa-ckk…

"No one!" Jack said quickly, standing in front of Barbossa to obscure his view. "H's no one. Distant cousin of my aunt's nephew, twice removed. Lovely singing voice though. Eunuch."

"My name is Will Turner. My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs threw my veins."

W…What?

Sorry, mate.

Jack walked off quietly to watch, defeated.

Jack, you told me you just wanted to help him…

"All I want is to get the Black Pearl back." Jack muttered, feeling guilty under the angels furious stare.

So you used him. Used him like you use everyone else. Like you use me.

"On my word, do as I say." Will said, "Or I'll pull this trigger, and be lost to Davy Jones's locker."

Come on, James-

No, YOU come on. It's not fair. I thought you were turning around. You've both hidden this from me all this time, haven't you?"

Johnny and Jack stayed silent.

"Name your terms, Mr Turner." Barbossa commanded.

"Elizabeth goes free."

"Yes, we know that one. Anything else?"

Jack glanced up hopefully, gesturing to himself.

See? Even now, you're only looking out for number one.

"Come on," Jack muttered to him, "I'm trying to save all of us-

WE ARE ALREADY DEAD!

"And the crew!" Will said, pleased he had "decoded" Jack's gestures. "The crew are not to be harmed."

Barbossa smirked. "Agreed."

James fluttered so he was a foot away from Jack's face. It looks like Jack Sparrow looks out for number one. Well, I know when I have failed my job.

Come on, buddy, he's not that bad-

"I want my damn ship! Don't you know me by now?"

I thought I did. James gave an injured sniff. But I guess I didn't. And with a little burst of light, James disappeared.