"Hello? Evanna?"

"Hi Sherlock." Her voice was raspy sounding. "I need you to help me out here."

"You're crying. Why are you crying? Stop crying."

"I'm sorry."

"For more than one thing, stop it."

"I can't. That's the thing Sherlock... I can't stop anything."

"Oh no, don't go there."

"I'm so sorry..."

"No. Don't. Don't do this. There's a reason for this, tell me it."

Her mouth opened but nothing came out. "I-I... I can't."

"Please."

"I have to do this. It's fate."

"Fate doesn't exist. You're an idiot."

"Exactly."

"I didn't mean it like that... please." He swallowed. "You'll be fine."

"I won't, I won't ever and that's why this is the right thing. I need you to help me out here."

"If you think for one moment that I'd help you to-"

"-no. Just... remember me, okay? Now remember me. Remember when we first met. You knew my name already, I didn't have to be introduced. You knew everything, right?"

"I never know everything about you, you hide things."

"I know... and I'm sorry. I've been hiding things from you... and I'll tell them to you now, because-"

"-no. Tell them and that'll give you another reason to take your life. I don't want to hear it in that case. You're being ridiculous.

"Just... remember before, okay? Remember then, how easy it was to pretend I was nothing but an experiment. It's because I was, wasn't it?"

"No..." Sherlock shook his head. "You're so much more."

"I'm really not. I was the one with the red hair that needed touching up, the secretive one but that was it. Right? And now that girl, that pathetic girl... now she's going to take a load of pills and she'll be dead. Everyone will be happy."

He spoke through grinded teeth. "Don't you dare."

"You'll be fine without me, better even." She grimaced. "I was born to die anyway."

"No, life doesn't work like that. I'll be nothing if you go."

"You can delete me. You can forget I existed..."

"I could never do that."

"Promise me you will. If I leave, promise me you won't remember me anymore. Okay? It'll be easy, as easy as it was to remember that. Like I was nothing, I was nothing."

"No. Evanna stop it."

"I'm so sorry..." She sobbed, shaking her head. "I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing the right thing for once."

"You're not!"

"No, I'm sorry I've got to."

"Evanna please just don't do this!"

"This is it Sherlock. This is what was meant to happen."

"No it isn't, now open your door."

"Why?"

"DO AS I SAY... please..."

Evanna put the phone face down, and shakily walked towards the door. Her heart was pounding as she turned the handle. Sherlock stood there, tears in his eyes and a gun pointed straight to the side of his head.

What was more shocking was how upset he looked, he was crying, she'd never seen him look so fragile before. As if this was the side he always chose to hide. It wasn't helping that he brought it out now. And the gun too.

She swallowed and made the most irrelevant comment of the century. "That was quick."

"You go, I go."

"No Sherlock... how... what?"

" I suspected something was wrong. I've been walking here all this time."

"Put the gun down."

"No." He took a deep breath and shook his head. "No, if you're going then I go too."

"That's not fair! I'm not worth it, you can't put your life on mine!"

"I'm doing it right now."

"DON'T YOU GET IT?" Evanna cried, her eyes red and swollen, tears hitting her bare feet beneath. "I WANT TO DIE! WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME BE HAPPY?"

Sherlock put the gun down by his side and rushed towards Evanna, wrapping his arms around her fragile body and she cried onto his shoulder. He shut the door behind them and held her so tight she could barely breathe, and he had to choke back even more tears. And for those few seconds she felt a little safe again. Like she had one reason, at least one, to stay.

He broke loose, putting an arm around her neck and pointing the gun to the side of her head, which was tightly cramped next to his own.

"One bullet. One bullet will take both of us, a gunshot and then it's all over, kill us both in one go is that what you want?"

Evanna whimpered. "No!"

"Do you still want to die? Do you still want to die knowing that I will never stand over your grave because I'll be right next to it? And you won't even feel a thing. We'll both be gone. If it's not now and then later it'll be the same. I can do it just as easily as you."

"Please, stop it"

"DO YOU STILL WANT IT?"

"NO!"

He swallowed and let the gun clatter to the floor. And this time he clung onto her so tightly she could barely breathe, she was barely touching the ground. Sherlock had made her feel so low and all to bounce back the pain she'd inflicted on him for telling him that. He had to make it up to her.

"I didn't mean to scare you so much."

"It was only fair..."

"I'm so sorry for scaring you" he repeated, clutching onto her tightly. "I didn't mean to... I just wanted you to stay, so badly"

"I didn't think anyone cared that much, I didn't think you cared that much, I'm useless"

"Don't say that. Please don't say that."

"I'm sorry..." Evanna cried onto his shoulder and he had to bite his lip to stop him from doing the same, but tears filled up his eyes. "I'm so sorry..."

"I should be saying sorry. I scared you."

"You scared me out of it."

"It's just I could let anyone else... if this was anyone else, I could let it roll over me but..." Sherlock shook his head. "Not you. Not ever you. Just..." His nails sunk into her back a little. "Please don't go. Don't ever go."

"I'll try." They stopped hugging but she let him hold onto her wrists as she nodded slowly. "I'm going to try for you."

"I need you. You're my little drug," He smirked. "Things would be so... different without you. Just please don't go."

"I'm so sorry..."

She fell back into him. He stood there holding onto her as tightly as he could for a while. It reassured him she was still there, she could have not been but she was still there and he could feel her heartbeat against his own and she was alive. Sherlock let her go but put his arms around her waist and kissed her quickly before stroking her hair again. She looked down, before looking back up at him and nodding.

"I'm just going to go and... you know, clean up my eyes and stuff a little. Wait here."

As she wiped underneath her eyes in front of the mirror, Sherlock untied his scarf and unbuttoned his coat, resting them on the chair. He grew a concern towards her well-being and went to see how she was doing. She stared at her reflection blankly, like she was let down or disappointed with it. As a kind surprise he snaked his hands around her waist.

"How do you feel?" He said, resting on her shoulder.

"Can't you work it out?"

"You feel numb."

"And tired. I don't know." She curled her fingers around his. "I'm not really sure what to do now."

"You're scared."

"Terrified."

"Don't be. I'm here." He brushed back her hair and kissed her cheek. "I'm not going now, I'm going to keep you safe. It's the least I can do."

"But... won't John worry? Don't you have to work on a case or something?"

Sherlock let go and looked her deep in the eyes. "I refuse to leave you alone tonight. I don't trust that brain of yours."

"I-I-... thank you."

It was odd to see him act like he cared so much. There was a reason for that; that maybe in the subconscious of his mind he did know exactly what to do. And that he probably did care, enough for all of this and suddenly nothing else mattered, apart from that she was safe. Evanna was safe.

That night they fell asleep together, bodies curled around the other for reassurance they were there and aching. Aching from the pain they'd made it through alive and knowing it would stop soon and things could be good again. And for that night never had two people, who had dubbed themselves unlovable, ever been so loved by one another.

Sherlock's feelings for Evanna were odd in the sense that whenever he thought he understood them, they took a sudden turn. A jolt to the left or right, or a sudden drop so they fell deeper and he fell deeper. Sometimes even back, restrained, only to dart forward later. That meant he wasn't always sure of them and he didn't really like that. It was terrifying but he wouldn't ever admit it.

It happened in episodes, there would be periods where he could step back and say "yes, this is how I feel about her" and then there would be periods where he would be thrown back in shock, breathily asking "what the hell is this all about." He was in the middle of the current episode of knowledge when a sudden channel change came.

The way it seemed it was almost as if Sherlock was perfectly content watching a little TV screen until John flunked himself down next to him and accidently sat on the remote.

For God's sake John. Sherlock had cursed his friend under his breath a whole two weeks after he had departed from the sofa where the conversation happened. It was the evening after the evening where he nearly lost her, and decided that yes, Evanna was brilliant and he cared about her very much. He liked to think he could leave it there.

"So you spent the night yesterday?" John asked casually.

"Yes." He narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Why is that necessary to state?"

He shrugged. "I don't know..."

"You felt the urge to question that even though it was obvious that I did spend the night at her flat why was that John."

"Because... well. You know."

"No I don't know."

"Just... good for you Sherlock. Congratulations."

"On what? Spending the night?"

"Yeah. You know."

"No I don't!"

"I wasn't sure if you two were together like that."

"Together like what?"

"Like that."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Realising Sherlock's status on the situation he took a deep breath and silence filled the air like a heavy fog. He batted it away with his hands with a slightly awkward question, which he couldn't not ask. Considering before Evanna, Sherlock was interested in no one... and now with this, he had to be forgiven for asking.

John licked his lips and looked over at his best friend. "So how is it?"

"How's what?" He looked back.

"The sex."

"The sex?"

"The sex."

Sherlock narrowed his eyes. "Non... existent...?"

"Are you joking?"

"Why would I be joking?"

"Are you serious? How long have you two been dating?"

"Roughly six months."

"And you haven't had sex? I thought you had, you've spent enough time at hers to."

"But we haven't."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"But Evanna... she's..."

"She's what John?"

"Nothing, I mean it's just, if I were dating her... I would have." He quickly realised what he'd just said. "Not that I want to! Or anything, just if I were you... I would."

"Well we haven't."

"So nothing's ever happened? Ever? Don't you do... anything?"

"Would you like some tea John?"

"Seriously. Six months, and you... with your, experimenting..."

"I think you should have tea."

"Seriously, nothing at all?"

Sherlock sighed. "Not exactly. I'll make you some tea."

"You never make me tea, you're either going to drug me or you're avoiding this conversation at all costs."

"Do you want a biscuit too?"

"Thinking about it, I wouldn't be surprised if you'd never kissed."

"Of course we've kissed. You know that."

"Have you done... more than kissing?"

"Thinking about it, I might make myself a coffee."

"Sherlock! I mean, really, you've had to at least..."

"At least what?"

"Gotten... you know."

"There is a time and a place for your fantasies John."

He swept up and walked over to the kitchen. John was still letting it all sink in. He called out.

"You know, you knew everything about all of my girlfriends. You're very protective over Evanna. I mean I know this stuff's pretty private, but in general."

"Evanna's better than all of your girlfriends put together though."

He smiled to himself, and said under his breath "and that's as romantic as Sherlock gets" before raising his voice again. "So I'm guessing you haven't said it yet then?"

"What? I wish you'd stop being so delicate with all of this."

"Sorry, Mr You-Must-Have-Known-He-Was-Going-To-Stab-Your-Daug hter-Due-To-His-Drug-Habits-Fourteen-Years-Ago."

"That was once, and I needed that information quickly. I'd rather that than be incredibly abstract."

"I love you." John said and Sherlock turned around and squinted before realising it wasn't actually directed at him. "You probably haven't said I love you yet then."

"We haven't."

"Well, do you?"

And that was when Sherlock's mind fell apart into fuzzy little pieces.

The next time he saw her, he was taking her on another case. He'd rushed her out in a hurry and once they reached Scotland Yard, Evanna was nervously tugging at her sleeves and looking around anxiously.

"You look fine." Sherlock looked down at her. "Really."

"Bleh. Are my contacts in okay?"

He looked around her irises but found it hard to focus, so he cupped his hands around her face to see. Just as Lestrade walked in, saw the two of them, and grinned.

"He was just-" Evanna began to explain but she grew apathy knowing that no matter what explanation she gave, internally Lestrade would slowly nod and say "suuuuure."

Later on, he brought it up again with John as they watched the couple disappear into the horizon of a corridor together.

"They've almost started to move in sync, haven't they?" John observed.

"Yeah, nice couple." Lestrade nodded. "I caught them having a bit of a moment earlier."

"They have a lot." He scoffed. "It's hard to believe they haven't..."

His eyes widened. "Really?" John nodded, and he took a few moments to absorb it. "Wow. That's surprising, since I mean if I were Sherlock... not saying I-"

"-yeah, I know, me too."

"And vice versa... not that I- it's just surprising."

"Me too, I mean he- you know, we should really go and check up on that thing again."

"Of course, yeah."

Okay the last part of this was pretty fucking odd and I'm sorry for that I'm just an odd person. BUT HEY GUESS WHO FINALLY POSTED A CHAPTER WHEN PROMISED! Oh yes, I'm getting better at this. Not the writing though. That's still pretty shit. The next chapter's gonna be really good for character development though, feelings are decoded, Evanna makes a really big idiot out of herself in front of Sherlock but he still finds her adorable and gaaah. You'll like it, okay? You will. YOU MUST! Reviews would be as fabulous as Sherlock's face. I know you guys are probably like, ooooh Jack's gonna promise us another chapter and then not update for three weeks because she's a cocky cock we should stop being nice but please guys please I'm getting better okay please thank you okay bye

P.S. THE EMPTY HEARSE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH