CHAPTER 14

A/N: Microsoft Word just informed me that there are too many spelling and grammatical errors in this document to keep displaying them. I count that as success.

Stupid POV

I was waked up by the lowd noize in me TADRIS! I skremt and jumpt out me bed with my hands grabbed the Doquter's p'jamas. He were forsed to come with me b'cuz he were in his p'jamas and I had them grabbed.

"COME DOQUTER WE MUST RUN!" I sayed

"Oops yes" Doqtuer

"What are my TIMEANDRELATIVEDIMENSIONINSPACE doing?!" I d'mand.

"I dunno lets cheque!" my preshis sexie husnbind sayed to my beautiful fase!

We kisst for five minits and then wented to check out the T'ARDIS

"Holy minstrels the TARDSI are oaverloading and c'rashin'!" Master sait runnin' into me controal room.

"Whoops!" Jorga say. She roled in throo the doggy door. Actually it were a kitty door cuz Butterflie.

Just then the aforementioned katty-kit reeowered throo the kitty door and began skritching everyones beautiful calfs. We skremt becuz are cafs are secksie like the F'rench aristo'crats.

We goed to the French R'evloution once and thier calfs were secksie.

Anyway are clafs were being un'secksied by ugly Bhutterflee and so we skremt.

Helga comed in and pulled away butterflie. We creed with r'lief.

"You all are idiots," Helga commented, before rushing over to the console and trying to stabilize the crashing TARDIS.

"Silly Helga we arnt idjits!" We all sayed ecksept burtterflee and Helga.

Clarque rolt throo the doar too and nearly out my TARDIS doars. I were sad cuz he wood dye. OH well.

But he didn't dye becuz the Maister taked him with his feets and hugged on the barz of me TARDSI.

"Good c'ratch!" DOqtuer praist.

"Tanks!" Jorga sayed becuz Master were her husband.

Then we c'r'a's'h'e'd'!

I skremt becuz me pants were being peed.

We land't on a big planit. It was had lots of big trease.

"Wow doqtuer! This ar a pretty one." I sayt.

"Wow yes it are!" Im glad we crash't heer." He sayt.

Helga came out of the smoking ruins of the police box and thoughtfully took in her surroundings.

Her mother was right, the planet WAS beautiful. It was covered in ice, with massive redwood-type-trees jutting up into the sky.

"Look at the strainge chillie solidifide water!" I exclaim.

"W'ow, lookit the trease they has solidifide cold water on them!" Masterabies sayt.

"I see a j'ag'u'are!" Jorga sayt. She pointtet at the trease and I seed the ja'gu'ire too. It were brown with ice spotses on its face.

"I bet he's frendly." Doquter say and he go'd to Jarugar. The Jarguar hiss't and bare'd it's teath at my gorjis husband. I skremt and patted away it by its tail and fling't it into my sun'set.

I laught becuz it were f'unny.

Helga glared at her mother for mistreating the beautiful creature.

"lol hega you don't no f'unny!" Doqtuer and me sayt.

"I'm going off on my own. I'll meet you here later," Helga told them, and promptly walked off into the forest alone, equipped with one of the Doctor's older sonic screwdrivers (which she'd upgraded in her spare time).

"bye deer!" Maisterbasekt sed.

I wat'ched me dater leev without a second word! We wented into my foarest doeepr to see if thar were nativs.

We founded nativs. They were c'all'd the N'kau.

(Note from Helga: They actually ARE called the N'kau, however unlikely that may seem. They're a rather ancient people who live on the planet I'brau, which sadly sounds like the word eyebrow. The N'kau on I'brau. Catchy. Whatever.)

I likt them cuz they had an apostrifie in thier naime. They were taul and braun and had no hairs but they had a large eyes and those eyes were yelloa.

The nativs thot we 're godses so they giv't us all their g'oald!

I were hapy and my h'air was b'ra'ded by them. I danc't round liek a prinsess.

We taket the g'oald to my TARSID and putted it in the g'aold roome were I keepz me rich's.

We got back and my nativ's were a'ngry'. I were wirr't becuz wat did we does to maik them anger?!

Jus them Heelga comed to us and s'ayt somthin bout frozen-water hippo's.

We ignor't her and kept skremmin' 'bout teh navit's. Dey comet at u's wifth spearse! HELP!

JUST THE'N BUTTERFLIE JUMPT OUT ME TADRIS DOARS AND RUN'NED TO THE NATIVS! SHE KLAWT AT THERE FAISES AND THEY SKREMT AND MY FMAILIE LAFT BECUZ TE NATIVS A'RE STU'PID!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA~

We run't back to the tar'dis and we went insied and hided fr'om the na't'ivs and butterflie' and we er saif! But Butterflie comed runnin back to the darsit and clawt and skritched at my doars but we weren't sure if we want't tl let her in cuz she cray-cray.

But in the en'd we let't her in bc'uz we 're rseponstible fr her an'd we dn't wan her to dye so we taked her back and she hapy and purt.

Helga had a bindle clutch'd in her armse an she won' show us but dat ok she sometimez sekret!

Da next moarning we stile hadn't left the planit. We were gonna studie the nativs an tak picshures. Helga sayt hse' wantt' to stay behina and stydie her articfatces or whatev'r she brote bak yesterday.

We left the atrdis wif butterflie cuz 'she are attack citty-kat an she protect' us frum da nativs wif ther spears'e and arrows wif b'ows.

I hunt't throo the chi'llt forist wif my kam'era and Jorag was netx to me. Maste'rbate were next to us an the DOqueter to'o. My kamera took may pisher's of the forist and a few ded boadies of nativs dat butterflied crawed to deth. Maisterbasekt pokt a boadies with a s'tick and laft becuz he are still secretly evil! (he beloangs to with the lemons dat ar evilv vilins frum spoanchbob dat akrtoon'!) Jorga kict his arese bucuz he ain't suppos't to be e'vil! NO EVL

Doquter laft at a Masterbasket becuz haha he got kickt' in da' but't!

I shoosht Doquter becus no laffing at sad evils. Clarque comed ver crawling and sayt "Mawmy wy are dere ded people!"

I skremt becuz my babby were taking an he not su'po'sted to TALK YET !

"WY YO TALK'ING CHILD" JORGA AND ME SKREMT

"sorry I ferget!" Clarque apologised and shut up

"that are a many things better thank you child!" I say

"yer welckim!" Coaruek

"shhhshshshshshh" jorga shht h'im an put't a fing'gger o'er there lips

I taked me child an put'tt him ' in my po'w'ch.

Then the fahrest were there becuz we rrunnted into it. "Shhhhhshshh" the fahrest sayt.

"oops"

Then a caive was fo'unt and it was sl'id into by us. We landt at the b oatom of the caive and we wer ein a butufl caveren wif cristiles and stagalames and stagalates. I takt pic'shures with me kamr'a. Jorga skreecht and her voiyce were loudt in the caivern and karriet throoowt the wallse.

"wow"

We found a foaster chiodl in the toaster on the kitchen of the cavairne. We kated it and thamed it "Leasea"

"Thaninkes for saiving m!" Leasea say and then runt into the depths of the vainger.

We waved go-bye and me karma taked a pic'shure with me fingers presin' on the button so it wood flash and work and capshure this mom'nt on a picsure.

Turns out there were a hows in the kavern. The kichin was in the kaverne. 'tWas weirt but we livt init for a days. My husband a'nd I had sloapoy make-puts on the roof of the kav'airn. Shhh don't tell Heelga

Jorga and the Myaisterbaisek sexted in the baisemet. Shhh don't tell Claruqwe

(the children were backwards but shhh, said Butterflie)

Butteflie was a secrit and mixted up the babies fer today in are minds. That day Cla'que we're Jorg and Mast's and Heelga were mine and Doc's

But don't tell anye'prsns it are a sekret (but im moma of boath so they all mine ahahhaha)

Suddne the cavern were shaked by the erth!

ERTHQUACK!

"IT ARE MY ERTHQUACK RUN RUNRU UNN''NN FUR YER LIFES!" I skremt and we skittered lik mise.

Udner the tabbls and do'arways like you do wen there are erthquacks.

Shhh'shhh

The'n the erath quack ended and we goted away frum are hiding plases.

There wer no daminge because im perfect

Herlga comed runnin down to see us but she se'ed we ok so she lft' angry'.

I think she' angige'ry but she' h'as a humor so she' kiddn'g maybe.

Then we lfeafted the cavernt and wented away and kitl the rest of the nativs BAD MASTER WY YOU DO DAT and tden we wented away in our TARSID.

(shh we all kilt them but we blaimt the bastermate- butterlife sayt)

Buttefie became our se'ret keeper and hse whisprt stuff in are ears sometim's.

The end fer now