Chapter 13

Jane has rejoined her twin and looks ready to detonate. I feel her attacks in my mind like punches against my shield. I move my hand to throw them both back into the other room, when Aro's voice calls out above all the noise.

"Stop," he yells simply and amazingly everyone freezes.

I'm afraid to move, afraid to even breathe. The silence presses in on me and thunders through my ears.

My thoughts have caught up with my actions and I'm terrified at what I've done. I don't regret it though; I would do it again if Edward was being attacked. I survey the room and cringe at the amount of damage I've inflicted on the castle.

Aro is looking at Felix and Demetri who are both still pinned up against the wall by a seemingly invisible force. He is at a loss for words so I look around at the other vampires. Each of their faces is painted with varying degrees of shock and anger. Only Marcus seems to be unaffected by the commotion. When I meet his eyes he winks at me in a fatherly sort of way.

I can't even think about the puzzling interaction because I am so focused on the previous events.

Caius looks severely frustrated by Aro's lack of words. I am quite amazed when the veins in his forehead become pronounced. I wasn't aware that a vampire could look ugly, but he manages it in a strange way. Eventually he can no longer contain himself and he yells out. "Seize her!" he calls, but no one responds.

"Surely you see that that seems to be rather impossible," says Aro in a frighteningly calm voice.

Carlisle steps forward and I am so grateful; I know I should speak, but I don't know what to say.

"If I may be so bold, I'd like to point out that Bella was completely within her rights to act in the manner that she did," he says eloquently. Caius snorts and Aro raises his eyebrows. "Don't look surprised, Aro. You know as well as I do that Jane attacked Edward unprovoked. The most important law in our society, aside from secrecy of course, is that bonds between mates are not to be tested unless the tester wishes to face the consequences. I have witnessed many instances in which you have defended this very law. Now, I'm sorry about your castle and you can send me a bill for the damage, but you have no grounds on which to prevent us from leaving and returning home. We have no intentions to challenge you and your guard and I think it would be prudent for us to leave before any such conflicts break out."

Carlisle's speech gives Aro the out he was desperately searching for. I can see in Aro's eyes the relief when Carlisle finds the loophole. Aro knew that he would be expected to kill me or take me prisoner, but he also knew that if he tried he would fail. In doing so, he would completely loose the power he had carefully compiled over so many years.

Yet he still has the nerve to pretend as if he is contemplating his course of action. "Your words are wise, my friend. I will allow you and the rest of your coven to leave, in hopes that we can maintain the peace between our people. I do wish to inquire, though, before you leave, whether you would be more comfortable staying? We could provide you with your dietary needs and I can I assure you that you would all be very useful to the rest of the vampire population."

"I can only answer for myself when I say that I appreciate the offer, but that I am going to have to decline. You know why. Nothing has changed. Of course, I would not stop any of the rest of my family if they wanted to stay, but they will have to decide that for themselves."

The conversation is formal and each word is laced with tension.

We all refuse Aro's offer politely, with the exception of Rosalie who tells him explicitly what she thinks of his idea.

"I regret your decisions, and I leave the offer open indefinitely. I hope you will reconsider. Until then, we shall stay in touch. On another note, you'll notice that the sun is very bright at this time of day. You'll need to keep to the shadows," says Aro with finality. The he spins on his heal and returns to his throne.

We need no further dismissal. Carlisle leads us out the door. I release the shields on Felix and Demetri as we're stepping over shards of wood that used to make up the door. As we pass Jane and Alec I look Jane in the eye and smirk at her. She looks at the floor.

We all simultaneously speed up once we are out of sight. As we move through the passageways I hear the silence being broken by an uproar of voices. We walk faster. We're practically running by the time we move through the garage. Even Rosalie doesn't pause to admire the cars.

We step out of the garage directly into the sunlight. The sudden brightness is a shock after being in the dim castle. It's good that we're deep in the castle grounds because we're all suddenly sparkling as if we had a handful of glitter tossed over our heads.

I've never seen Edward in the sun before, and I'm realizing now what I was missing out on. He looks so unnaturally beautiful that I almost have to shield my eyes. My hand reaches out of its own accord to touch is luminescent skin.

As soon as I touch his arm he makes a sound that reminds me of a low growl, grabs my hand and pulls me fiercely into his embrace. He's squeezing me so tightly that I can barely breathe in his delicious scent. His fingers move up my back and down my arms in frantic circuits. His body is shaking and his face is buried in my hair.

I grip him back, not realizing how much I needed to be comforted. I rest by head in the perfect spot where his neck meets his shoulder.

I'm mad at him for letting go of my hand after I told him not to, but I can't focus on that now because the need to feel him alive and holding me is overpowering.

I need to release some energy. I have so much fire built up inside me that is still fighting to escape. Now with the added fire from Edward's embrace, it's almost too much. I can't bring myself to let go of him though, so I just deal with it.

"Hey lovebirds over there, not that we don't like to see you nuzzling like little puppies and all, but we really need to get a move on," says Emmett much to my embarrassment.

I release my hold on Edward, but he doesn't move. He mumbles something about not caring into my hair and then pretends that Emmett never spoke.

My laugh sounds empty and forced as I slide out of his arms. He grumbles, but follows me as I run to catch up with the rest of the Cullens.

As we run through the grounds, I notice that the mental shield I had put around the Cullens is still there. It shocks me because I'm not using any extra energy to hold it there. I wasn't even thinking about it consciously.

I play with it a little bit, pulling it in and stretching it out, and each movement takes virtually no effort on my part. I don't even feel the usual tension. It stretches easier that a rubber band- I can move it as easily as I can move my hand through the air. I feel like I could stretch it out forever and I would never get tired.

I think back over the events in the castle and pinpoint the time when the shift occurred. It was after Edward had let go of my hand and was being attacked by Jane. I didn't focus on it at the time because I was too worried about Edward and then about the other attackers, but something changed in my shield that made it so effortless to manipulate.

I think it was the fact that in that moment when I saw Edward writhing on the ground, I didn't care about myself anymore. My shield has always been there to protect me from harm or to protect me from attack. When my priorities shifted so that I was not the one in need of protection my shield shifted too. My brain, in essence, began reacting to Edward's situation as much as my own situation.

It no longer feels like it's going to snap back at any second because that was controlled by the part of my brain that ensured self preservation. It makes sense then that the shield was more easily manipulated when Edward was holding my hand because when we are connected and I feel the energy from his touch, my brain wants to protect him too. It wants to protect the source of endless energy.

In a way, it was a good thing that Edward let go of my hand because without that incident I never would have gained complete control and understanding of my shield. Sure, other people may have needed my protection in the future, but I don't think it would have worked the same way. With anyone other than Edward, self preservation still would have been my first priority.

My mind is switching back and forth between being angry at Edward and being glad that his actions gave me new control.

I am still wavering as we move hurriedly through the airport and make it to the gate at exactly the right time again. This time Edward and I have seats apart from the rest of the family, as if Alice knew that we would need the space to talk.

Edward gazes at my face and his eyes register my torn expression. "Bella?" he asks, surprised that my expression is not one of relief like his.

I speak in a whisper and try to keep my voice soft. "Did you think I was kidding when I told you that I needed to hold your hand the entire time we were there?"

I see his eyes widen in recognition before he drops his head into his hands.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers in a choked voice. "I knew you were serious and you have to believe me when I say that keeping your hand in mine was my sole focus up until Jane got involved. I could read her mind, though, and she knew it. She was picturing exactly how much she would make you hurt, picturing you screaming for her to kill you long before she would have mercy and relent. She was thinking in clear pictures and words, trying to goad me into action. I am ashamed that it worked. I couldn't stop myself. It was instinctive. Jane posed the greatest threat to you in that instant. The rest of the family was fine, so I guess I thought that it would be okay if we weren't protected anymore as long as you were.

"I recognized my mistake when you didn't take my hand again. I was proud of you for standing up to Aro and throwing around his idiotic guard, but my heart sunk when I realized that you didn't need me anymore."

He never looks up at me while he's speaking and I can see how much he means his words. I put my fingers under his chin and lift his face towards mine so he can see that the anger is gone from my eyes. "I do need you. The only reason I was able to control my shield without your touch was because you were in pain. My actions were instinctive, just like yours. When I saw you laying there, my only thought was protecting you. I do need you and I'm starting to think that I'll always need you. But if this is going to work, you're going to have to trust me when
I tell you to do something."

Some of the regret fades from his eyes, but it doesn't disappear completely. That makes me feel better, in a strange way because it lets me know that he is telling the truth about taking my words seriously.

He presses his lips to mine in a tentative kiss and I answer him enthusiastically. I don't let it go on for long though, partly because I have way too much energy stored up in me already, partly because there is a creepy old man sitting near us who looks rather enthused by our display of affection, and partly because there is a lot more Edward and I need to talk about.

"You were reading Aro's mind, right? What was he thinking?" I ask him.

"Aro is surprisingly good at blocking his thoughts from me. Before he knew about your gifts he was blocking me out by thinking only about his desire to have Alice and me as part of his guard. He pictures the three of us as an unstoppable force of knowledge- the past, the present, and the future all working towards his cause. I'm familiar with these thoughts, but they never fail to make me want to ignore his mind completely. I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't paying more attention to him.

"When he first found out about your shield, there were many different emotions running through his mind. Jasper could tell you better that I can. I have a hard time telling what people are feeling because they don't often put their emotions into words. For a brief moment I could read his terror that Carlisle was building up a force to overthrow him and his guard. He masked that quickly with his curiosity to know more about you. He kept up a constant stream of questions in his mind to block his true thoughts.

"Again I'm ashamed to admit that I paid him no attention while our little battle was taking place. I was so focused on you and making sure you were okay that for once in my life, the voices in my head were pushed to the back of my mind.

"I focused on the guard again after the fighting had ceased. Aro was furious of course, but even his thoughts weren't clear. He kept alternating between wanting you dead, wanting you on the guard, and just wanting you out of his sight. It was hard to read his mind just because of the inconsistency of his thoughts. I do know that he will not let this encounter go unchecked. It could be months or decades before he decides to act; time has no meaning for him, but I am certain that he will take action. The only hope we have is to have Alice watch him and warn us when he makes a decision.

"Caius, as far as I could tell, was the only other Volturi member that we really need to be wary of. He hates more than anything the fact that he doesn't have a gift. He knows that he is practically useless to the Volturi. Because of this, he has a special contempt for gifted vampires. I'm sorry to say that you are now at the top of his list.

"As for the rest of the guard, they are all somewhat scared of you and somewhat angry with you; Jane and Alec more so than the rest, but they of course can't do anything about it. A select few members of the guard were feeling drawn to your power and hoping that you would indeed take over as ruler.

"Of course, only about a quarter of the guard was present in that room today. Stories of the events that occurred will no doubt spread throughout the castle and maybe even throughout the vampire community outside of the Volturi. I'm betting that Aro will try to spin the events to make you the bad guy, but we won't know how the public reacts until it has already happened.

"When we get home we'll have to discus our course of action, but for now there isn't much we can do but wait."

I don't answer him for a few moments, instead sitting and letting his words soak in. I think that waiting is going to be very hard, even for me. I would be much more content if the next move was ours to make. It's not though, and besides, I can't think of anything that we could do to improve this situation. In a way I'm glad that Aro has to be the one to decide how to handle these events because then we can't be the ones to make the wrong decision.

Carlisle's words didn't get us out of the black. They merely gave us time. But I know how important time is. Time means knowledge. Edward says the Aro takes no notice of time. I hope he is right. I hope that it is a long time before Aro takes action, because I will make sure that that time is not wasted. We will be prepared for anything he throws our way.

The Cullen's seem to think that Alice's visions are infallible, but I'm a bit more wary. If what she sees depends on the decisions that people make, then people could block her by being indecisive. Of course, that would require them to know how her visions work, and I don't know if anyone outside the Cullen family has that knowledge. Either way, she's all we have, and even if her visions are only ninety percent reliable, that is ninety more percent that what Aro has.

We'll just have to stay alert and not let ourselves be swept away by the monotonous routines of our lives.

I laugh at the thought of my routine, realizing that tomorrow is Monday- a school day. Angela's calculus problems, Jessica's worries about her relationship with Mike, it all seems so trivial and boring compared to the adrenaline-packed events of this weekend. I used to enjoy the peace and predictability of human life, but now I don't know if I'll be able to sit and listen to a teacher speak about useless topics for the better part of my day.

High school and humans used to be my escape, but now I have the Cullen's. Now I have Edward. I think I would be content to give up on the whole human façade if I still had Edward to keep me company.

I love him.

I haven't really given much thought to putting words with my feelings for him, and before when the thoughts arose I always pushed them to the back of my mind. I justified my actions by telling myself that I had more important things to worry about, but I think that I was really just trying to protect myself. If I acknowledged my love for Edward without knowing how he felt in return, I would be opening myself up for heartbreak, and I've already had enough suffering to last me a lifetime.

After today, though, I'm not worried about him breaking my heart. He put me before his family. He dove in front of me and suffered Jane's attacks in silence- attacks that were meant for me.

It was silly, looking back, that I ever questioned how he felt about me. I won't ever question it again.

Now that I've settled all these things in my head, I have a startling urge to shout it out to the rest of the world. I'm in love with Edward Cullen! He's mine! I won't tell him now though, not on a plane full of people. I've never said I love you before to anyone other than my family. It's not something I take lightly. I see couples in school say those special three words and then break up days later. That's not how it is for me. Those three words are a promise, and when I do say them, I don't plan on ever taking them back.

I glance up at his face. His eyes are closed, his eyelashes casting long shadows on his cheeks. His features are relaxed and his breaths are slow and even. He is absentmindedly twirling my hair through his fingers. Contentment settles deep inside me. It doesn't matter what Aro decides to do, or what curve balls he throws our way, because no matter what happens, I've found where I belong- right here in Edward's arms.