Chapter Fourteen
The carriage ride to Pemberley was particularly long and I couldn't handle the overwhelming feeling that I was completely alone. I tried to hold back the tears for most of the journey and for most of the journey, I wasn't successful. When the carriage driver announced that we were almost there, I looked out of the window to behold a magnificent house. I couldn't find it in myself to enjoy the view though, it just continued to remind me of how insignificant I felt. God, I sounded so pathetic!
The driver pulled up to the front of the house behind another carriage. Amanda came immediately out of the large house and hugged me tightly to her.
'You would never believe what has happened in the last couple of days' she whispered. I smiled weakly back at her.
'How is Darcy?' I asked.
'Not amazing now that you have brought Wickham with you' Manda said disapprovingly at me. I gasped in shock. 'What had you forgotten about the situation between Georgiana, Darcy and Wickham? Why did you bring him with you?' she asked.
'I didn't' I hissed at her. 'I left him at the inn. Why has he come here?'
'I think we'd better go and find out' Manda replied.
'Manda, wait. I think I need to tell you something first' I said quietly but loud enough that she could hear me, tears beginning to well in my eyes again. Manda led me over to a bench in Darcy's garden and I told her the whole story of what happened between me and Wickham whilst she was away.
'That bastard! I told him to keep his hands to himself!' she exclaimed as I laughed at her comment. 'Come on; let's find out why he's here. Maybe he came to apologise to you' she said as she dragged me towards the stables.
As we approached the stables we heard the drunken ramblings on Bingley. My heart sunk somehow to know that he hadn't followed to apologise. 'I'll stay here' I said, 'You find out why he's here' I couldn't bring myself to face him yet and Manda seemed to understand that. She stormed off to confront him whilst I crept forward to listen to George's explanation.
'You're a fool if you think Darcy will tolerate your presence here.' Manda began.
'Bingley came to me in pursuit of oblivion; and he found it for a pleasant evening and now he is delivered back to Pemberley undamaged. Darcy is in my debt.' He relied smoothly. So after I had left him he proceeded to get drunk with Bingley. This was the return of Wickham. The George that I knew was hidden behind the cold sarcastic mask.
'House rules Wickham. Lydia: hands off. Georgiana: hands off big time. My sister don't even touch her' Manda defended both me and trying to protect the characters in the story despite what she knew must happen with Lydia.
'Don't worry about your sister, I won't go near her' this made me want to sob. How had he gone from so caring this morning to completely heartless? Tears ran down my face in earnest, particularly when I heard him begin to chuckle and Amanda ask; 'What?'
'This is good. You have chosen precisely the man that I wish you to choose. Swellerando. Master of Pemberley. Brava' he mocked.
'I know why you want me to do this. If you could somehow engineer it that Darcy and I get married then what happens to frosty knickers?' It dawned on me what Amanda was talking about, he was after Caroline Bingley! Was he just stringing me along in the hope of having sex with me all this time?
'I presume by that disparaging epithet that you refer to the sublime Miss Bingley.' This only continued to back up this idea; he thought she was 'sublime'. My heart was breaking at every word.
'She gets scooped up by you. You and your galloping bloody horse.' Amanda yelled at him.
'Caroline is rather rich. You know maybe she is the love of my life.' The rest of the conversation blurred around me and I heard nothing else. What had I been thinking? He could never love me! Of course he would want to go after someone beautiful and rich. I had actually thought that he was different from the character in the book. How could he be? He was merely that… a fictional character. Amanda stormed passed me but gave me a sympathetic look as she left.
I stepped out of my hiding place and Wickham looked up to see me. He looked stunned for a minute. 'Eli… wait; I can explain' he began, looking frantic and desperate. If I was being honest, he looked rough and about to cry. It must have been my imagination. I walked backwards as he attempted to walk closer to me with his arm outstretched toward me as if that would keep me from fleeing. I then turned quickly with a sob and fled the stables as fast as I could. I couldn't face him. I didn't want to look into that face and remember everything that I would never have.