Mr. J was the first to rise, so Alec turned his back and tried to distract himself. Unfortunately for him, I was naked too, so he floundered until I grabbed the wife's flowery robe off the night stand and pulled it on. The Brit relaxed while the Joker turned to get his clothes from the living room. He frowned when he caught sight of my Puddin's back and turned impressed eyes on me.

"You do that?" he motioned toward the ten angry, red crescents decorating his shoulder and mid-back. They were joined by a dozen other scratches in all directions. Blushing slightly, I nodded, and kept my eyes on the carpet until he laughed.

"Blimey, woman." His expression became wicked, "I know what I'll be thinking about nights."

I slapped his arm as the Joker came back in, pulling on his vest with his tie flung around his shoulders. The man dressed fast. Which brought my attention back to Alec.

"Did you find them?" I asked eagerly watching the ire creep into my bodyguard's expression. With a heavy sigh, he held out a small bundle of frayed denim. I'd made him go search for some of my clothes before he came over, since I'd been the one to answer the phone call this morning.

Daisy dukes, cowboy boots that stopped just under my knee, and a white button up with blue pin-stripes I'd found in the back of the wife's closet. Still too big, I only buttoned a few of them and tied off the lower half of the shirt, leaving my torso mostly exposed. I was finding lately that the less I wore, the more comfortable I felt.

I was still deciding what to think of that.

Knowing Alec would turn the moment I flashed skin, I began to change. He sighed and leaned back against the wall, eyes on the floor. The Joker turned to face me suddenly, listening to several messages on his cell phone. Seeing that he'd only gotten half his tie done, I rolled my eyes, zipped my shorts, and went to fix it. He barely glanced at me as I fiddled with the crazy block tie he liked. It didn't really bother me though, after last night, I wasn't worried about Mr. J not being attracted to me or anything.

Alec looked up finally and straitened his jacket. "You look like a bloody cowgirl, Harley."

My cheeks flamed suddenly and I looked away, the Joker tossing his phone on the bed, hooked a finger in my front belt loop and grinned.

"Yee-haw." He murmured against my ear, letting me know that yes, he remembered too. A rush of heat shot down between my thighs.

O Lordy.

Completely lost, but unwilling to ask question lest he find out, Alec grabbed the cell phone from the bundled sheets (I saw he was careful to touch very little of them) and moved out the door with Mr. J.

"What's going on today, Puddin'?" I asked happily, hopping over the graying housewife. The flies were starting to gather around her mouth and eyes. I watched them scuttle between her lips and back for a moment before I realized the Joker had been speaking.

His eyes got very dark for a moment and he looked between the corpse and me a few times before locking with my eyes. I was very still, fighting to hold his eyes, because I knew this game. If I looked away, I was hiding something.

"I have business to attend, Pooh." He spoke finally and I released the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "You just go out and…entertain yourself."

I gave an eager nod and looped my arms with his long enough to sneak a hung with it and skip out of the apartment. I probably should made sure it wasn't the one that had been dislocated, but I hadn't been shot of stabbed yet, so I assumed I gotten the right one.

The boys were getting rid of me for the day. That was fine, I could live with a day kicking back. Now all I needed was a place that wouldn't get me sent to jail just for showing up.

oOo

The Narrows were uncharacteristically quiet this afternoon, but I didn't mind. Less whooping and propositions meant a happier Harley. Today had been largely uneventful, not that I was complaining. It wasn't just odd when my everyday life didn't involve explosives and 9mm's.

A distant rumble made me pause at the corner of the street and palm the tiny blade strapped to my thigh. (I couldn't exactly sport my 12 inch in the streets) The car in question was a Lamborghini, and when it rolled up beside me in all its tinted-window glory, I knew it could be only two people. Neither of which I had any desire to see. The passenger window rolled down and I braced myself against the door with a wicked smile.

"Hey there, Suga-Daddy," I cocked a hip and let Bruce Wayne glare up at me. Were we normal people, we might have been rather hostile to one another; seeing as only last night he'd been trying to hurt my Puddin'. But we were not normal people, so while he wore his Wayne-mask, I pretended that's all he was. "I've got to say, to the casual observer, this might not look like it's completely on the up-an-up."

In normal no-nonsense fashion, he simply starred at me. "Get in the car, Harley." He was using Hero-voice in his mild-mannered mask, so I humored him and opened the door.

"Alrighty, Mr. But we got's ta keep this on the D.L. I got two strikes against me."

The businessman's eyes skipped from my bare stomach, to my legs, then locked on the road ahead. God forbid he feel attracted to a half-naked young woman. It almost made me laugh.

"I'm just going to assume you're joking." He sighed, and the car purred to life. I stretched out in the leather seat and watched him drive; waiting for the conversation I knew was coming. It didn't take long.

"What are you doing, Harley?"

"Well, Bruce, I'm sitting in a rich man's car wondering what he could want with a wee, slip of a lass, like myself." (I'd spent far too much time with Alec)

Wayne shot me one of his best angry looks so I clamped me lips together theatrically. He seemed to be in a no-fun mood, which was unfortunate.

"I told you there'd be no more chances, Harley. If you screw up, I take you to Gordan, myself."

"Gasp!" I covered my mouth, and looked generally alarmed.

"Do you think this is a joke?" Suddenly the joy was sucked right out of the car and I tensed at his booming voice. "Last night, I let you run. I could have found whatever hole he pulled you into and thrown you both back in Arkham. I didn't because you were both hurt. I figured you couldn't cause much damage."

Wasn't he going to shit a brick when he saw our generous hosts on the news.

"It won't happen again. I won't defend you anymore, Harley. Not if you've really picked his side." This was said with such malice, such seething hatred, that it truely frightened me.

During his little scolding, I glanced out the window and noticed that we had left the Narrows and were heading for mid-town. Which just so happened to be right on the way to Gotham P.D. Hand once again on my tiny knife, I turned back to Wayne and frowned.

"So what are you telling me to do, exactly? Tell the Joker I can't rob or pillage anymore because it's naughty?" I scoffed. "Do you want me to die?"

"Obviously not-"

"Oh, obviously," I snapped back. He was slowing. The police station was right there, and he was slowing!

"You planning on being a hero, Mr. Wayne?"

The car pulled to a stop across the busy street and he glanced over at me, expression unreadable. "I considered it." He admitted.

My heart was racing now, and I was wondering if one could tuck and roll from a stationary car. It couldn't be quite as painful, at least.

"And now?" I asked, easing away from him to open the door unseen. It was locked of course, but damnit, I tried. Bruce sighed and ran fingers through his hair, looking at me with something like irritation. Like a father scolding his unruly, teenaged hellion.

"I don't want you in Arkham, Harley." Which was funny considering his roll in all my previous incarcerations. "I saw what it was like for you in there and I'm sorry. But I have to do what's right. If that means-"

"Pause." I held up a finger, "Rewind. Are you saying you visited me, Bruce darling?" I certainly wouldn't have remembered what with all the sedatives and such.

He let a brief smile touch his lips,(and I liked that it was a little devilish) then leaned back in his seat. He looked like 2 million dollars in his dark blue Armani. "Bruce Wayne would never be seen in a place like Arkham Asylum." When my eyes narrowed, he sighed, "But Batman had to make sure things were in order there. Not just for you."

The last bit seemed to be tossed on as an afterthought and made me smile.

"You sure know how to flatter a girl." I glanced over at the police station and sank a little further in my chair. "If I hadn't been half-conscious and starving, I might have appreciated it."

A flash of emotion passed over him before his expression once again became stone. Something I hadn't been meant to see, but couldn't translate anyway. Was Bruce recalling the sight of me in that cesspit of a sanatorium? With Regret?! The man cared more than was healthy.

"So…uh, are we really gunna do this?" I nodded toward the police station, "Because I'm letting you know, there will be a fight. Are you ready for that kind of scandal, Mr. Wayne?"

For a moment, he only stared at me, distant eyes drifting to the station and back to me before his gave a heavy exhale. My body relaxed visibly when he shifted out of park and we started down the road. Not that I knew what the hell all this was about anyway, but I was grateful it hadn't gotten ugly.

"Taking you in wouldn't solve the problem." He grumbled but I ignored it. Whatever helped him sleep at night (and kept me out of a cage.)

The ride passed silently for a while after that, until awkwardness took over and I started fiddling with the radio. He was taking the long way to the Narrows, which meant a while more trapped in here. Halfway through a cute song about rough sex, Wayne cleared his throat and glanced over.

"You've been shot."

My eyes went to my gauze-wrapped thigh then to his face, cautious. "Thank you Captain Obvious. Last night didn't go well for anyone."

Of course that was his fault, but I assumed he knew that.

"I just took the call and checked up on it. Apparently you had the man cornered."

Something dropped in my gut and I narrowed my eyes. "Kuklinski?"

Bruce continued as if I hadn't spoken. "He said you took his daughter, Harley. How could you let that monster anywhere near a child?" When I didn't answer, he trailed off and studied my expression. "You didn't know."

"That is was that wop bitch who tattled? Of course."

His lips thinned a bit as he realized he might have started a little trouble. I watched the guilt slid into place with the rest of his armor and resisted the urge to roll my eyes. He'd probably flog himself later, or something equally as unnecessary. For now, he eyed my legs and stomach.

"How'd you get the bruises?"

It wasn't the smoothest subject change, but it caught me off guard none the less. I was a quick healer, but the cane marks from Mr. J hadn't fully healed yet. Trust Wayne to bring them up and make me uncomfortable.

"Do you usually ask questions like this? Maybe we could discuss my weight and age later."

"So he did it." This wasn't a question.

My jaw clenched and I looked out the window. "We were fighting last night, hero." It didn't even sound convincing to me. This wasn't fun anymore. Why couldn't he just ignore it like the boys? More importantly, why did his opinion even matter?

"Would you listen to me if I told you to get that leg checked out?" he asked this softly, back to staring out the windshield. Niether of us was in the mood to go down this road today.

"Sure." I shot back, "I'll just stroll into Gotham General and explain that I got shot in a gang fight for the Joker."

"Nobody stoles into Gotham General anymore, Harley. Your boyfriend demolished it."

I let out a groan and covered my face, "UGH! You are such a buzzkill!"

The car slowed as we pulled into the Narrows. All I could think then was FINALY. Another minute of this jackass and I was going to snap!

Bruce was very quiet as he pulled to a stop at the curb. The doors did not unlock, so I remained still. Now that my mood was officially ruined, I just wanted to get home. Maybe the Joker was still peppy enough that I could sneak in a snuggle or more. That would definitely lift my spirits. A tiny smile curled my lips as the hero shifted in his seat.

"Why are you targeting Kuklinski?" he asked. It was good that he came right out and said it, but he couldn't expect me to be that stupid. Did I really seem that dense?

"Let me out of the car, Bruce." I gazed steadily back at him, though he still refused to look at me.

"If you continue to target him, I can't be held responsible for the consequences."

The door's lock clicked open before I could asked what the hell that meant. Of course he wasn't responsible, this was a mob war. He had no part in it, unless Kuklinski was going to pull that baby shit again.

"Well I can tell you why I don't like him." I said gathering myself and getting out of the car. "He tried to bury me alive."

That got the hero's attention, but I was already slamming the door. Let him stew over it if he wanted. I needed to get back to my man. There were some problems that needed solving and he was just the genius to do it.

The car revved once, probably some kind of warning, but he could bite me. I watched Bruce drive off into the sunset like the storybook prince he wished he could be. I was beyond his saving, though, and no kiss would do anything but earn a kick in the nads.

I was pondering over knights in battered armor and bloody swords when the cell phone hidden in my boot started vibrating. I giggled at the sensation and pulled it out strolling merrily over to the alley.

"Howdy."

"Where in the bloody hell have you been?" Alec's growl made me pull back instinctively, then frown. Glad he hadn't seen it, I grumbled.

"Geez, you coulda been nice ya know. No need to be grumpy."

The Brit didn't speak but I realize it was because he wasn't holding the phone up anymore. I could hear the rustle of his jeans and muffled voices in the background. Someone yelled and a few people called back out.

"What's going on over there?" I demanded loudly, focus suddenly sharp. How much bad luck could we really have this month? Everything couldn't cave could it? "Alec!"

"Nothing's going on, the deal went smooth." But then he hesitated and cleared his throat so my body tensed for horror.

"What. Happened?" I demanded slowly. Alec gave a heavy exhale then coughed. I was about to start yelling when he dropped the news and my body went numb.

"The deals went great, but the boss never came back. We've had the boys looking since noon. The Joker is missing."