Oil and Water (Johnny and Brenda Fic)

by ladyluck538

Brenda hasn't been to Port Charles since her failed wedding to Jax. She returns and meets Johnny. *This is an old fic I deleted*

14. Chapter 14

The Life…."...I just need this one."

Brenda and Ethan pulled up in the parking lot of GH. They rushed inside the hospital. Ethan told Brenda on the way what happened. Well, what he knew. Johnny was going around a curve, apparently too fast, and lost control of the car. It flipped a couple of times, before landing on its side.

Brenda was terrified. (What if he dies?)

Ethan led her to his room. He stopped outside the door. "Brenda, he looks bad. I'm not going to lie. Are you ready?" She nodded.

They entered. Brenda covered her mouth, and the tears came freely. Ethan hugged her. She held Ethan's hand, as she walked up to the bed. Johnny was banged up pretty badly. He had cuts and bruises on his face, but his body was worse. "What did the doctors say?"

"He broke his arm, his leg, his ribs are cracked. I know it looks real bad, but they said he should be fine, It will just take some time for him to heal."

"Have you spoken to him?"

"Yes. I wanted to call you when I first found out, but he said no."

"What's wrong with him, why isn't he awake?"

"They gave him some pain medication."

Brenda buried her face, into her hands. "It's my fault. We had a fight."

"Brenda, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is." She moved closer to him.

Ethan looked at an obviously distraught Brenda. "I'll give you some time alone, I'll be right outside." He left.

After hearing the door closed, Brenda reached over, and cautiously touched his abdomen. It was bandaged heavily. "Oh, Sweetheart." She bent down and kissed his hand. In spite of everything, she still loved him. She looked up into his sleeping face. She caressed his cheek. "Oooh, baby."

Ethan eventually came back in. The doctors and nurses were in and out. Brenda fell asleep in the chair. While Brenda was sleeping, Johnny woke up.

Ethan walked over to the bed. "So, you finally decided to make an appearance?"

Johnny tried to move, but Ethan stopped him. "Be still man."

"My whole body hurts."

Brenda woke up, and saw that Johnny was awake. She stood up and walked over to the bed. Johnny didn't even know she was there.

Brenda smiled. "Hey."

"Brenda...I didn't know you were here."

Ethan decided to give them some time alone. "Hey, I going to go home, check on Madison, I'll be back in a couple of hours. Take it easy, man. See you later, Brenda."

They both say their goodbyes. Ethan leaves.

"Brenda, you don't have to stay here. I'm fine. A little banged up, but I'm fine."

"I want to."

"Look, I don't want you to feel obligated to stay because of my current state. I think you should still leave, if that's what you want."

"Johnny, I still don't appreciate you lying to me. But I do still love you, and I'm not leaving you like this."

"Brenda, I'm fine...you...don't have to stay."

"No, I don't, but I want to. Look, I am still angry with you, but I'm pushing that aside."

Johnny looked into her eyes. "I want you to stay because you love me, not because I was in an accident."

"Look I'm not going anywhere, not until you are better. And I do love you, that's why I'm here."

"To be honest, I'd rather you leave now. I don't want you to stay, and then leave later. I don't want your pity or charity."

"It's not charity."

Johnny tried to move, Brenda could see the pain on his face. She rushed over to his side. "Take it easy..."

"I don't want your help."

"Well, Johnny you have it."

Johnny pressed the button for the nurse.

Minutes later the nurse walked in. "Yes, Mr. Zaccahara?"

"May I please have some ice?"

"Yes, I'll be right back." The nurse leaves.

"Johnny, I could have gotten you the ice."

"No thanks."

"Johnny, you have no right to be angry with me, or treat me like this. You lied about who you really were...I didn't."

"I never lied about who I was, just how I make my money."

"Being in the mob, is not just a job, it's a way of life. It consumes you, if you are apart of it. It is who you are."

"It's not who I am, and you should know that. Do I act like a mob boss?"

"No, but you are."

"Yes, but it isn't all I am. You know me, Brenda."

"No, I don't. And you can't blame me for being angry, you should have told the truth."

Johnny glared at her. "Be angry, but when you love someone, you don't leave."

"Johnny, being in the mob is serious. I have first hand experience with that life! I'm sorry but your world just isn't for me."

"So, why are you here?"

"Because...you need me, and I still care about you." Johnny was still trying to move, she could still see the obvious pain on his face. "I'll...be...fine….leave."

The nurse returned with ice and water. He drunk some and she placed it on the table. After the nurse left, Brenda walked over to the bed.

"Brenda, I don't want your help."

"Johnny, you need my help."

"I can hire somebody."

"You could but you won't. Look, I'm not going anywhere, at least until you are better."

"Why would I want you stay, knowing you are going to leave?"

"Right now, the most important thing, is for you to get better. Every other bridge, we'll cross when we get to it….…"

A couple of days later, Johnny was released. Brenda stayed with him, the whole time. She only left, to go home and shower. Ethan helped her get him home and in bed. His leg was in a cast, so was his arm, and his torso was heavily bandaged. After Johnny was settled, Brenda left the two men alone.

"Johnny, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you being so cold towards Brenda?

"I'm not cold."

"Yes, you are. I was under the impression that you cared about her, and if that's true, take this opportunity and convince her to stay."

"She has made up her mind."

"Well, help her change it. Take advantage of the situation. You need to show her, you are more than the mob."

Johnny didn't respond.

Ethan grabbed his keys.

"I'll check on you later, and don't be stupid...take my advice. Take it easy."

"Yeah, thanks man."

Ethan left.

Brenda locked the door and headed into the bedroom.

"Hey."

Johnny looked over, and saw Brenda standing in the doorway. He didn't respond.

"I just came to see if you needed anything?"

"Brenda, I keep telling you, I don't want you here."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere Johnny, so get over it."

"If I were you, I wouldn't stay where I'm not wanted."

"Look Johnny, you may not want me here, but you need me here."

"I don't need you, I can get someone else. I never had a problem with getting a girl to do anything for me."

Brenda shook her head and left.

Johnny leaned back. (Maybe she has taken the hint, and decided to leave.)

A couple of minutes later, Brenda returned, with a pitcher of water. Johnny rolled his eyes. "I don't want any water."

Brenda walked over to him, and dumped it on his head.

Johnny sat up. "Brenda! Are you crazy?!" Johnny grunted from the pain.

She sat the pitcher on the nightstand. "Yes I am! You lied to me, not the other way around! You have no right to talk to me like that! And if you keep it up, I'm going to break your other leg!" She stormed out of the room.

Johnny slowly leaned back, and closed his eyes. The pain was almost unbearable. He took a couple of deep breaths, and eventually the pain eased. He decided to get up, because he was soaking wet. He made his way out of the bed, and into the motorized wheelchair. He proceeded to go into the bathroom, where he struggled to remove his shirt. He managed to take it off, and put on another one.

Brenda sat on the sofa…fuming. She had been nothing but nice to him, and tried to do everything she could to help him. But she was not going to put up with his continued disrespect. (Maybe, I should just leave. Grab my bags, and just leave.) She looked over at her bags, that were already packed.

She sighed, she knew she was not going to leave him. Not in the state he was in. She got up and walked back into the room…

Johnny was sitting in his wheelchair, looking out of the window. His hair was still damp, but it looked like he managed to change his shirt.

Brenda walked over to the bed, and started changing the linen. Johnny didn't say anything, deep down he knew he deserved it. After finishing she turned and looked at him. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'll be in the living room if you need anything."

Brenda turned to leave. "Brenda, wait." She stopped and came back in.

"I...just wanted to thank you...for everything."

She was a little shocked. "You're…..welcome."

"And I'm sorry, for everything."

"I accept your apology."

"And….I don't want you to leave."

"Johnny, I'm committed to seeing you through this."

"And after?"

"I don't know. You know how I feel about the mob, I've told you what I went through. I don't want to go through that again."

"I'm not Sonny."

"I'm not saying you are. I've lived that life, and I promised myself, that I never would again. My life is more important, than being with you or anybody. You have to understand that."

Johnny looked up at the ceiling. As bad as he hate admitting it, he did understand. "I do, Brenda."

"Ok."

"So, are we just going to break up, or will I still see you?"

"Johnny, being your girlfriend isn't the best thing for me, and you know that. Your enemies would be my enemies."

"Brenda, that's not true. We've been seeing each other for awhile, and you've been fine."

"I can't do it, because one day, something will come up, and I won't be."

"Brenda, again, I am not Sonny. People hate him, they don't hate me."

"Johnny….please just let it go."

Johnny stared into her brown eyes. "But I can't. I love you too much."

Brenda's eyes filled with tears, she still loved hearing those words. "I love you too, but I don't want that life. I want to have children and a family. Without the guards, the guns, the secrets, the madness."

"If I wasn't in the mob, would you want that with me?"

Tears make their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to answer that, because that is not an option."

Johnny made his way over to the bed and got in. "Brenda…come here please." She walked over to the bed, and sat down. He reached up, and caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry I ruined us. I should not have lied."

"No, Johnny, you shouldn't have."

She leaned down and he met her, as their lips met. Johnny grunted. Brenda pulled away. "Are you in pain?"

"A little, just my ribs."

"I'm going to leave, so you can rest."

"No, stay. You need to get some rest too." Johnny smiled. "There really isn't anything I can do to you, look at me."

She laughed. "True." Brenda walked around the bed, and got in.

Johnny looked over at her. "Would you really break my other leg?"

Brenda grinned. "Yes, I would."

Johnny laughed.

Eventually they both drifted off. It was in the middle of the afternoon when they went to sleep. Johnny woke up first. He looked over at the clock, then over at Brenda. She was still sleeping.

She looked so tired. Putting his anger to the side, allowed him to see the bigger picture. She did love him. No matter how mean he was, she never left the hospital.

Brenda stretched and sat up. Johnny smiled. "You were really tired."

"I haven't been able to sleep."

"Worried about me?"

"Yeah, I was. You were in really bad shape."

"I'm ok." He smiled. "Just a little heartbroken."

"You...heartbroken? What the strip club closed?"

He laughed. He reached over, and ran his fingers through her hair. "You ever considered stripping? I'd make a lot off you."

Brenda grinned. "I wish I could punch you."

"You can kiss me."

Brenda just looked at him, and didn't say a word. He caressed her cheek. "I'm sorry, Brenda, for everything."

"Johnny one apology is enough."

"I don't feel like it is."

"It is." Brenda got up. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, a little."

"Well. I'm starving. I'm going to run across the street, and pick something up. Will you be ok?"

"Of course."

"I'll be back..."

Brenda is walking out of the restaurant, when she spots Jason pulling up in his truck. He got out, and walked over to her.

"Hey."

"Hello, Jason."

"Just hello, no insults? Brenda you are changing."

"No, I'm just too tired to insult you."

"Yeah, I heard about Johnny. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. You could pretend to care about Johnny."

"I'm not good at pretending."

"Jason, you aren't good at anything, but murder."

He laughed. "There's the Brenda I know."

"What are you doing over here?"

"I like food."

"I thought all you needed was oil."

"I think I liked you better when you were not insulting me."

"No, you don't."

"Are you planning on staying, after he's better?"

"I don't know. I don't have the energy to deal with your world, I danced that danced, it's not fun."

"Especially, not with Johnny."

"Jason, I love you, but-."

Jason smiled. "You love me?"

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Bye Terminator."

He laughed, and watched her walk across the street. He made sure she was safely inside the building, before going into the restaurant.

Brenda walked into the penthouse, and found Johnny sitting on the couch.

"Johnny, what are you doing in here?"

"Brenda, I'm not confined to the bed."

"I know. You still need to be careful."

"Why? There isn't much I can do to myself, that I haven't already done."

Brenda giggled. "True."

"Well, at least the good parts still work."

Brenda laughed. "Yeah, but you can't move."

"You can."

She grinned. "Let's eat." Brenda sat next to him. They ate and watched an old Bette Davis movie. It was called, "The Old Maid."

Brenda wiped her face. "I love that movie."

"It is a good one."

"I don't know if I could make such an unselfish sacrifice."

"Yes, you could. If it meant your child would have a better life."

"Could you? I mean would you walk away from your life, the mob life? If it meant your child, could have a better life?"

"Brenda, my life isn't that bad."

"Johnny, yes it is. How many times have you been shot?"

Johnny didn't respond.

Brenda shook her head.

"Brenda, I don't know any other way to live. I was raised in this life."

"And can you honestly say, you love it?"

"I don't love it, but it's-"

Brenda interrupts. "It is all you know. But what do you have to look forward to? Yes, you'll make a lot of money. But you could die, or end up in jail too. You don't want better for yourself? I would."

"Brenda, it isn't that easy, or as cut and dry as you would love to believe."

"It is. If you wanted to get out, you could. Don't you want better for your future children? Because even though I'm not interested in living that life, you'll meet a another Lily who doesn't mind."

"Lily?"

"Sonny's first wife, the one who got blown to smithereens."

"Oh."

"Johnny, you know how growing up in the mob world is, you shouldn't want your children to go through the same thing." *silence* "Well, I'm done talking about it, not trying to lecture you. It's your life, not mine."

"You never answered my question, if I wasn't in the mob would you want those things with me?"

"Johnny, I didn't know how much, until I realized that it was no longer possible." Brenda smiled, and looked over at him. "You are so different from anybody I've ever dated. You are younger than I am, and at times you act like it. You love strippers and trashy women. You are everything that I should hate and despise. But you are a lot of fun, and I fell in love with you."

Johnny smiled. "I fell in love with you too."

Brenda grinned. "And you have the biggest-"

Johnny laughed and interrupted. "Heart…"

"If you want to call it that."

"Brenda, a lady shouldn't talk like that, I'm rubbing off on you."

"Maybe so. But anyway, how are you feeling? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"I'm fine."

"Don't you think you better go lie down?"

"Only if you are coming with me?"

Brenda shook her head. "Johnny, your ribs are cracked…"

"We don't use my ribs."

Brenda laughed. "I don't know…"

"What don't you know?"

"Johnny, I'm still upset with you. You getting hurt hasn't changed that."

"You can still be upset with me."

Brenda grinned. "Come on, let's go to bed."

"Are you going to help me?"

"Johnny, why don't you use the crutches, or your chair?"

"Because, I want to be close to you." Brenda rolled her eyes, and he smiled. "I'll use the crutches."

"No, I'll help you."

"Brenda, I was just joking. I got it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Ok, well I'm going to go and shower."

"May I watch?" Brenda laughed and headed into the bedroom...

After showering Brenda, walked out into the bedroom. Johnny was naked. "My turn."

Brenda laughed. "Come on..."

After helping Johnny bathe, she helped him get into bed. "Thanks doll."

"Johnny, don't call me that. You know I hate that." Brenda walked around and got into the bed. "You know, I still have that stun gun."

Johnny laughed. "Do you really?"

"Yes."

"How many times did you threaten to use that on me?"

"Too many to count." She looked over at him. "Now, look at us."

"Yeah...Brenda I need to ask you a question."

"Ok…"

"How long are you going to stay?"

"Stay?"

"Yeah, I know you are going to leave…eventually."

"I don't know...I guess when you don't need me anymore."

"I'm going to always need you." Brenda just stared into his eyes, she didn't say anything, but he knew she felt the same. He continued to stare at her. "May I kiss you?"

Brenda smiled. "Why are you asking?"

"Because I don't want you to zap me."

She laughed. "I wouldn't zap you, because you've already zapped yourself."

"Very funny." Brenda moved closer. Johnny motioned for her to come over. "Sit on my lap."

"No, I don't want to hurt you."

"My thighs are fine."

"Ok." Brenda cautiously moved to his lap. "Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

Johnny reached up and caressed her cheek. "So beautiful…" He pulled her closer, and pressed his lips against hers. He kissed her passionately. Their lips moved hungrily against the other's. Johnny broke the kiss. "I want to make love to you."

"Johnny, what if we hurt something?"

"We won't." He reached down and grabbed the hem of her shirt…pulling it over her head. He started kissing her all over. Johnny grunted from the pain. Brenda made him stop.

"Johnny…let me, just relax."

His eyes followed her every move as she removed the rest of her clothes. She then helped him undress. He leaned back on the pillow, as she took her place, slowly connecting them. "God, Johnny." She slowly started grinding her hips into him. He pulled her down into a kiss…

Brenda collapsed on Johnny and buried her face into his neck. "Brenda?"

"Hmmm….."

"My ribs."

She quickly moved, and looked down at him. "I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

Johnny moaned. "Yeah….I will be."

"Why didn't you stop me?"

Johnny grinned. "Yeah right…"

She laughed.

He pulled her back over.

She is lying next to him. He looked over at her. "Brenda, if we try we can work this out."

"Johnny, there is only one option, and I know you're not doing that, so there isn't a way we can work anything out."

"How are we going to live in the same city, and stay away from each other?"

"It will be hard. But I don't want to be apart of the mob world. It's just not an option." *silence* "I think…..I'm going to leave for awhile."

"Where are you going?"

"To New York. It's where I should be anyway."

"Are you moving the office?"

"No, I have a very capable staff. I'll still be in contact with them. I just won't be here physically. It's the perfect time."

"Perfect time to leave me?"

"Johnny, it's not like I want to." Johnny looked up at the ceiling. Brenda continued. "Bachelor Johnny will be back in full affect. All the ladies in Port Charles, will jump for joy." She smiled, but Johnny remained silent. "Johnny, it's not a question of whether or not I love you."

"I know. I get it."

"I'm glad you finally do." She leaned over and kissed him. "Nite."

"Nite." Brenda closed her eyes, and Johnny continued to stare at the ceiling. He didn't want to lose her. She had changed him, and it was for the better. But she was right, his world was dangerous, and it was time for him to stop being selfish, and just let her go…...

Part 2

Brenda had been in New York for a couple of months now. She had left Port Charles about a month after Johnny left the hospital. She had dived into her work, and it was paying off, because her cosmetics line was really growing. Not only that, but she was about to land, a huge modeling contract. She was set to become the face, of an expensive jewelry line. Upon signing, she would receive a huge lump sum, and numerous other benefits. This would mean she would be doing a lot of traveling. Everything was really going well, except…she missed Johnny terribly. She thought about him everyday, and wanted to call him. But it was best that she allowed him room to move on, and get on with his life…..

Johnny had healed physically, but not emotionally. Everyone could tell, he was not the same Johnny. The light in his eyes…..gone.

Johnny was at his strip club sitting at the bar, when Sandie walked over, and sat down next to him. Johnny didn't even notice her.

"Well, hello to you too."

Johnny looked over at her. "Hey, how's it going?"

"How's it going? Who died?"

"No one, why?"

"Because you are sitting at this bar, like your dog died."

"I just have a lot on my mind."

"Is it girl? Don't tell me, you of all people, is shook up, over some chick?"

Johnny didn't say anything.

Sandie smiled. "The crazy brunette?"

Johnny still didn't respond.

"Damn, Johnny, if it's that bad, go find her. Did you cheat on her?"

"No."

"Ok, then..what's the problem? Why did she leave?"

"Just some other things."

"Well, work them out. Because you are such a buzz kill." She touched his hand. "Seriously, if you love her, do what you have to, in order to be with her. Take care." She got up and left. As soon as Sandie left, Ethan walked up.

Ethan sat down. "I was looking for you."

"I've been right here, what's up?"

"Nothing, just worried about you." He looked over at Johnny. "Just go and see her."

"She wanted to cut all ties, I have to respect that."

"Go see her."

"I don't know. I haven't heard from her, maybe she's moved on."

"I doubt it."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok, well let's not. Let's talk lap dances. If that doesn't cheer you up, I don't know what will."

Johnny smiled. Ethan got up. "Let's go…"

Brenda stared at her computer monitor. "Madison, you look so beautiful pregnant."

"I feel beautiful, and liberated too."

"You really look happy. I am so happy for you and Ethan. And I can't wait till the baby's born."

"Me either. I'm actually having a good pregnancy. No sickness at all."

"Lucky you, I hope I'm….as lucky."

"You will be."

"So how is everyone?"

"Fine. And if by everyone you mean Johnny, he's ok."

"Good."

Madison wanted to tell Brenda, that Johnny was miserable without her, but Ethan asked her not to say anything. "Well, tell me about this new modeling contract."

"It is huge and very lucrative. And because of that, I have to go through all these health screenings. They just want to make sure, I'm able to do the job. Apparently, they got burned in the past." Brenda looked down at her watch. "I have to get going, I have an appointment with the doctor. I miss and love you so very much."

"I miss you too, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok…."

Brenda walked into the doctor's office, and up to the receptionist's desk. She signed in, and sat down. About a couple of minutes later, she was taken to the back. She was weighed, her vital signs taken, and her blood was drawn. She also submitted a urine sample.

Brenda was sending emails, when the doctor walked into the examination room. "Hello, Brenda."

"Hello, Dr. Sanchez." She quickly placed her blackberry inside of her purse.

"I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Yes, it has been a long time. I actually moved out of the States for awhile."

"Rome right?"

"Yes."

"Good to see you back. Now, let's get started." The doctor examined Brenda. "You look to be in good health."

"Good." The nurse came in and handed the doctor a sheet of paper. She looked it over.

"Brenda, are you taking birth control?"

"No, I'm not seeing anyone. So, I don't see the point."

"How are your periods?"

"Fine, except my last one, only lasted two days. I've been up under a lot of stress."

"I don't think it's stress. We actually tested your urine, for a number of things, and pregnancy was one of them."

Brenda stared at her. "O...k."

"Brenda, your test was positive."

"What?"

"You are pregnant."

"What?"

"Pregnant. And I need to find out how far along you are."

Brenda was in shock. "Me….pregnant? How in the world did it happen?"

Dr. Sanchez smiled. "Brenda, you know all about the birds and the bees."

"I'm sorry…I know how it happened…Are you sure?"

"Yes. But let's do an ultrasound to see how far along you are."

"Ultrasound?"

"Yes, an ultrasound, just lie back."

Brenda leaned back. She could not believe this was happening. (I always took my birth control, when I was involved with Johnny.) She covered her mouth. (Oh, my God. I forgot to take them, after Johnny's accident.)

The doctor put her legs in the stirrups. Brenda felt the machine run across her stomach. "There is your baby."

Brenda looked at the monitor. "I don't see a baby."

"That little round thing." She pointed to it. "That is your baby, and looks like you are about eight weeks along."

Brenda covered her mouth. "Oh my God!"

The doctor printed out the picture, and handed it to Brenda, who was still too shocked, to say anything.

"Brenda, I know it's a surprise. Just give yourself time, to process it all. Are you going to be ok?"

"Ahh…..yes, of course."

"Well, we have to get you started on prenatal vitamins."

"Ok."

"I'll send the nurse in. Do you have any questions?"

"No, only how can I be pregnant?"

"Now, that's not a question I can answer, only you know that."

"I'm sorry. I'm just in shock. Thanks, Dr. Sanchez."

"Ok, and I'll also give you some material. Things you need to know."

"Ok."

"And if you have any questions, don't hesitate to call." She rubbed her hand, and left.

Brenda got up and got dressed. The nurse came in and gave her some prenatal pills, and some other materials. Then she left.

Brenda had a lot to think about, but she had quite a few meetings that day, so she had to put them on hold. When she finally made it home, it was after eight. She threw her purse on the sofa, and sat down. She could not believe she was pregnant. She didn't know how this would affect her modeling contract. They might not want to work with someone who was pregnant. And then there was Johnny, she needed to tell him. She would not lie to him, not this time, she had to tell him…..

Johnny leaned back on the sofa, with beer in hand, and a remote in the other. He was killing time, he was about to go on his first date, since Brenda left. He figured it was time, she's not coming back, and he couldn't sulk forever. Johnny looked down at his watch. He got up and headed out…..

"I can't believe you asked me out, I've been wanting to get with you forever."

Johnny looked across the table. "Is that right?"

"Yes. And finally, I have my chance."

"And I have mine. So, Cheyenne, you like working for the competition?"

"Yes, why? You want me to come work for you?"

"No, because then I couldn't date you."

She smiled. "A man with boundaries, I love it."

Johnny laughed, as they continued to talk and eat. Halfway through their meal, Johnny's phone rung. He looked down at it. (Brenda?) "Excuse me, I have to take this."

"It's fine, go right ahead"

Johnny got up and left. "Hello."

"Hello, Johnny."

She sounded different. "Brenda, is something wrong?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Ok, I'm listening."

"In person, Johnny."

"Ok, when?"

"As soon as possible. Do you think you could come to New York?"

"Like now?"

"Just as soon as you can."

"I…..yeah….I'm on my way, just send me the address."

"I will."

"See you soon…." Johnny disconnected the call. He walked back over to the table. "Cheyenne, I'm sorry, but I have to leave. It's an emergency."

A disappointed Cheyenne, looked up at him. "Really?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"What about all this food? We barely touched it."

"You don't have to leave." He took out some money, and handed it to her. "Stay. And I promise to make this up to you."

Cheyenne sighed. "It's ok, I understand, emergencies happen."

"Thanks for understanding." He kissed her on the cheek. "See you later." And then he was gone.

Cheyenne looked down at the table. She picked up her cell phone, and dialed a number. "Hey girl, what are you doing? Are you hungry?"

Brenda knew it would be some time before Johnny got there. She decided to take a shower, and a quick nap. But she couldn't sleep. She was just too nervous. There was just so much to work out. She curled up on the sofa, and eventually drifted off…..

About one o'clock she heard her doorbell. She got up, walked over to the door, and looked out of the peephole. She saw him standing there, her heart started beating extremely fast. She took a deep breath and opened the door. Their eyes met.

She smiled. "Hey."

"Hey."

"Come in." She moved to the side, and let him pass.

"I tried calling, I didn't know if I needed to get a hotel, or if I could stay here."

"You can stay here."

He sat his bag down, and looked at her for a moment. "It's been awhile."

"It has."

Johnny didn't even think about what he was doing, he just walked over, grabbed, and kissed her. It kind of caught her off guard, but she didn't dare pull away. She missed him, so very much. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. He moved down to her neck, and latched on. He reached down, and started ubuttoning her pajama top. Seconds later it lay on the floor, along with the matching pants. He kissed her all over. He quickly removed his shirt, and the rest of his clothes. He picked her up, and he walked to the back of her apt. "Which way?"

"To the right." He walked into her bedroom and placed her down on the bed. His lips found hers again"

"I missed you."

"Me too…"

It's the next morning, and Brenda is already up. She is looking out of the window, as Johnny sleeps. She really wanted to tell him last night, but things didn't go the way she thought. She turned and walked back over to the bed, and got in next to him. He moved and stretched. "Morning."

She smiled. "Morning."

"I'm sorry about last night, couldn't help myself."

She grinned. "I forgive you."

He moved to his side, facing her. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

Brenda sat up and sighed. "I don't know how to tell you this."

"Just tell me."

"Johnny….." Brenda looked over at him.

"Brenda, just tell me. It can't be that bad."

She reached over, and grabbed the envelope sitting on her nightstand. She then handed it to him. He sat up and cautiously opened it. "What is this?"

"It's an ultrasound printout. And that little round thing, right there….is our baby."

Johnny looked down at it, then back at her. "What?"

"Johnny, I'm pregnant."

"What? Brenda, I haven't seen you in a couple of months."

"Well, I'm eight weeks pregnant."

"Wow."

"I know, I felt the same way. And Johnny, I just found out."

Johnny stared at the print out. Brenda could tell he was trying to process everything. "I don't even know, what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

He looked up at her. "Are you feeling ok?"

"Yes….I'm fine."

"Is everything ok?"

"Yeah."

Johnny looked back down at the printout.

"Johnny, how do you feel….about…..all of this?"

He looked back up at her. "How do you feel?"

"Still a little shocked."

"Well, I'm a little nervous and excited. I…can't believe I'm going to be a father. I don't have a real family. My mother is gone, and so is my sister. And I'm not close to my father. Brenda, I want to be at every doctor's appointment."

Brenda's eyes got wide. 'Johnny…..I don't think that's a good idea."

"What do you mean, you don't think that's a good idea?"

"Johnny, I don't want anyone knowing this is your child."

"Brenda, my child will not grow up without a father!"

"Johnny, you know how I feel about the mob. This isn't news to you."

He glared at her. "No, it isn't. And also isn't news to you that I don't have a family."

"Johnny, don't be selfish."

"No, don't you be selfish."

"I don't think I'm being selfish. I'm just thinking of our child."

"By trying to kick me out of its life? Why even tell me?"

"Because, I didn't want to lie to you."

Johnny looked back down at the printout. "Brenda, I'm not going to let you take my child away from me."

"Johnny, I'm not trying to take anything away from you. I don't understand, you've been hinting at how awful your childhood was, why would you want that for your own child?"

"Because, the mob had nothing to do with it. I had a son of bitch for a father, and I would never treat my family, the way he treated us."

"I'm sorry, I really am."

"Me too."

Brenda ran her fingers through his hair. "Why don't you just leave the mob?"

"I keep telling you, it isn't that simple."

"It is, you said that you don't have the enemies that Sonny has. You could leave if you wanted to."

Johnny sighed and got up, walking over to the window. "Brenda, you don't understand."

She got up and walked over to him. "What don't I understand?! Because I think I do understand. You are addicted to the money and the power, and it doesn't matter if you lose your life in the process, or me…..or our child."

Johnny turned to her. "That's not true."

"Yes, it is." Tears make their way down her cheeks. He reached up and wiped her tears away. "Johnny, I love you. Come and be with me. Don't you love me enough?"

"Brenda, you know I love you."

"Well, love me enough to leave that life, in favor of one with me."

Johnny stared into her eyes. "Brenda, I would if I could."

She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. He grabbed her, and attempted to comfort her, but she pulled away. "No, Johnny. You've made your choice."

"I haven't made anything."

"Yes, you have. Being in the mob, means more to you, than me and this baby."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is! Why won't you leave?! Will they hunt you down if you left?! Why Johnny?! Just make me understand."

"Brenda, it just isn't that simple."

"It would be for me."

"All I want, is to be apart of my child's life."

" Look Johnny, you can see your child, but I still don't want anyone to know its yours."

"Are you asking me to deny it?"

"No, I'm asking you to do what' s best. Look at Sonny's children, look how they have suffered. You don't want that for your child, I know you don't."

Johnny ran his fingers through his hair. She was right, he knew it. "Ok."

Brenda nodded. "ok, are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure."

She turned, walked back over to the bed, and sat down. "I'll call you throughout the pregnancy, just to let you know how things are going."

"Brenda, I am going to want to see you."

"There's always the internet."

"I can't come and see you?"

"I don't think that is a good idea."

"So, where does that leave us?"

"Nothing has changed, there is no us. You can go back to Port Charles, and continue doing, what you've been doing."

"Just like that?"

"Yes…..I don't really want to see you. There is no future for us. If I'm going to be a single parent, then I better start getting use to the idea now."

Johnny didn't feel like arguing, he really didn't want her getting upset. He left and went and got in the shower.

Brenda crawled to the top of the bed, and got under the covers. The tears started to come freely. She thought in the end, he would choose her, and their family….but he didn't.

Johnny got dressed, and walked out into the bedroom. "I'm getting ready to leave. Are you sure it's what you want?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, will you walk me to the door?"

"No."

Johnny stared at the back of her head for a moment, and then he turned and left…..

Part 3

It turns out the jewelry company, was not turned off by her being pregnant. They just decided to shoot a whole bunch of shots before she started showing. Brenda left New York, and went down to Hawaii. She liked it so much, after they were done shooting, she decided to stay. She was able to still keep in contact with her offices in New York and Port Charles, and most of all she was far away from Johnny. She didn't even tell him where she went. He assumed she was still in New York, and she didn't tell him anything different.

"Brenda, you are going to need someone to be there for you, after the baby's born."

"Madison, I'll be fine. It'll give us a chance to bond."

"But you have no idea, how hard it is. Especially, if you don't have anyone."

"I'll have a nanny."

"Well, that's good. Because that baby will be here, before you know it."

"I know." Brenda stood up. "Look, how big I've gotten."

Madison laughed. "Yes, you have grown."

Brenda sat back down. "And how is little Ethan Jr.?"

"He's fine. Actually sleeping."

"Kiss him for me."

"I will."

"Well, I'm not going to hold you. Go get some rest, it's almost time for me to call Johnny."

"Ok…..be nice. He misses you."

"Not as much as he should. I'll talk to you later…."

Johnny looked at the time, it was almost time for Brenda to call. He went into the fridge, and pulled out a beer. He popped it open, and took a sip. *ringing* He picked up his phone, and answered it. "Hello."

"Hello, Johnny."

"Hey. How is everything going?"

"Fine. I went to the doctor and everything looks great. No problems."

"Good. I want to see you, Brenda"

"Log on.."

"Ok."

Minutes later, Johnny was looking at her, on his computer monitor. Brenda stood up, and pulled her shirt up. "See, I'm getting huge."

Johnny smiled. "You really are. Brenda, I want to come to New York and see you."

"Johnny, no. Let's keep doing what we've been doing."

"Why? I don't think me coming to see you, is that big a deal."

"I do. I am adimant about people not knowing this is your child."

"Brenda, nothing is going to happen. A lot of people in my line of work, have huge families, and nothing ever happens."

"What happened with Michael?"

"Well, that's different. That's his father fault."

"I'm not taking any chances."

"Ok, I don't want to argue."

"Good me either. So, how is everything going for you?"

"It's going." Johnny took a sip of beer.

"Hired any new strippers?"

Johnny laughed. "All the time."

Brenda laughed. "I hate to say it, but I miss that place. So sleazy, but so much fun."

He smiled. "That place misses you too. I don't miss you in it. Some of my best dancers left because of you."

"It's not my fault. There were some very smart girls in that place, and they needed to know, they had other options. One thing I will say, before you, I always looked down on exotic dancers, but I had the pleasure of talking to them, they were not all bad."

Johnny nodded his head. "They are just like us, trying to make a dollar."

"Yeah." *silence* Their eyes locked for a moment, they still missed each other. Brenda was the first to speak. "Well, I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Leaving so soon."

"Yeah, I have some things I need to do."

"Ok, just don't do anything too strenuous."

"I won't."

"Take care."

"You too….."

Johnny was just about to go into the kitchen, to get another beer, when he heard his doorbell. He walked over and opened it. "Ethan, what's going on?" He turned and went back in.

Ethan came in, and closed the door. "Nothing, just came by to see what you were up to."

"Nothing and everything. Just finished talking to Brenda."

"How is she?"

"She's fine."

"She still won't let you come and see her?"

"No."

"Is she still in New York?"

"Yep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah….why?"

"Because, one day, I heard Madison talking to her, and she asked if there were a lot of people on the beach?"

"Maybe she went out of town….for the weekend."

"It was in the middle of the week."

"I think she would tell me, if she left the State."

"Yeah….you're right. She would, I mean why wouldn't she? Or maybe she went to one of the beaches in New York."

Johnny leaned back on the sofa. "I think I'm going to take a ride up to New York. You know…surprise her."

"When?"

"Now….."

Brenda looked out at the sunset, it was so beautiful. She rubbed her stomach. She was now eight months pregnant. She had no idea what she was having, but she was so grateful, that God had given her another shot at motherhood. She wished Johnny was there with her, because the thought of having this baby alone, was starting to scare her. Madison offered to come down, but Brenda didn't think, that it was a good idea. Madison was newly married, and she had a baby of her own. She needed to be at home with her family. There was always Julia, but she got on her nerves. Brenda sighed. "I guess somebody, is better than nobody…."

Johnny walked up to the door, and pressed the button. The door swung open, and a feminine looking guy, stood in front of Johnny. "May I help you?"

"I'm looking for Brenda Barrett."

"I'm sorry, but she moved out."

"Moved out?"

"Yes. I took over her lease months ago."

"Took over her lease. Do you know her?"

"Yes, we work in the same industry. Excuse me, but who are you?"

"I'm a friend. Do you have any idea where she went?"

"No. She had a place, I needed one, so we made a deal."

"Ok, thanks." Johnny turned and left. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialed Ethan's number.

"You rang?"

"Hey, she isn't here."

"You're in New York?"

"Yes, I'm just leaving her apt building. Some sweet looking guy, said she moved out months ago. Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know. Maybe she thought you wouldn't honor her wishes."

"But I have. I haven't made one attempt at coming to see her. I only came, because there were questions about her whereabouts. I can't believe she would lie to me. We had an agreement. I bet you Madison knows where she is."

"I'm sure of it. But I don't want to put her in that position, by asking. I'll see what I can find out on my own."

"Ok. Call me if you find out anything."

"Ok…..."

Brenda had just returned home, when her cell phone rung. She answered it. "Hello."

"Hello, Brenda?"

"Yes."

"This is Bobby."

"Hey, how are you?"

"Fine, I just wanted to let you know, some guy came by looking for you."

"Some guy?"

"Yeah, good looking, but kind of street."

"Dark hair?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing really, he was just shocked to have learned, you moved out."

"Did you tell him anything?"

"Of course not."

"Thanks, I owe you one."

"No, you don't. Us girls have to stick together."

Brenda laughed. "Ok, bye. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok."

She disconnected the call. Bobby was actually heading up her New York office, she had known him for years, and trusted him with her life. They knew each other very well.

Brenda was just about to call Madison, to make sure she didn't spill the beans, but something stopped her. She didn't know why she was lying to Johnny. He had done everything she had asked. At that moment, her cell phone rung. "Johnny." She took a deep breath, and answered.

"Brenda, where are you?"

"I'm in Hawaii."

"Hawaii?! How long have you been down there?"

"For awhile."

"What's awhile?!"

"About two weeks, after I last seen you."

"What are you trying to pull Brenda?!"

"Johnny, I came down here for a photo shoot, and I decided to stay."

"And you couldn't tell me?"

"Well, I was worried because, I didn't think you would stay away. But you did and I'm sorry."

"Where in Hawaii?"

"Maui."

"Are you living in a hotel? House?"

"I rented a house."

"What's the address? Just for emergencies, Brenda."

"I'll send it to you."

"You promise?"

"Yes, I'll text it to you, right now."

"Ok."

"Johnny, don't be mad. I just couldn't be sure, if you would stay away."

"I'm not mad."

"Good."

"Ok, Brenda, I'll talk to you later."

"Ok, bye." Brenda disconnected the call and sighed. "Well, that went better than expected….."

Johnny went back to Port Charles. Ethan met him at his place. Johnny pulled out a bag, and started throwing things into it. "So, you are going down there?"

"I don't trust her. All bets are off. She might up and leave with my child, and I can't stand by and let that happen."

"Does she know you're coming?"

"Nope. She thinks everything is fine."

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"For awhile."

"What about the organization?"

"I have people, who can take care of things. And at this point I don't care."

Johnny zipped up his bag. Ethan looked at it. "Is that all you taking?"

"Yeah. I'll buy everything else. I need to get down there….."

It's the next day, and Brenda is laying on the beach, in her red bikini. She wasn't ashamed of her stomach, she actually had never felt sexier. She looked out into the ocean. It was so peaceful. She rubbed her stomach, as she felt the baby kick. She put on her shades and leaned back. The sun felt so good against her body. She grabbed her bottle of sunscreen, and started applying it. "Need help with your back?"

She looked up, and saw Johnny standing there. "Johnny?" She sat up. "What are you doing here?"

"Brenda, did you honestly think I wouldn't come, after that stunt you pulled?"

"Johnny….I'm sorry. I honestly didn't think you were going to stay away."

"Were you going to go in hiding, with our child?"

"No."

"I don't trust that answer, and I don't trust you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said. I don't trust you, and I'm not giving up my rights, as that child's parent."

"Johnny….we had a deal, you agreed."

"Yeah, but I can't trust you. You've been down here, all this time, and you never said a word!"

"I gave you my reasons."

"Well, that's not good enough. Brenda, look in my world, your word is everything. And you lied, so all bets are off. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to stay away, this is my child too. I'm staying until the baby is born, and we are just going to have to work something out, after that."

"Johnny, you know that 's not a good idea."

"Well, it's how it is going to be."

"Johnny, I will fight you if I have to."

"Well, bring it on." Brenda struggled to stand. Johnny grabbed her arm, she pulled away.

"Don't touch me."

"Sweetheart, it was your doing not mine." She picked up her things, and started walking back to her house. Johnny followed.

"Don't follow me."

"I have to, you have to show me where I'm sleeping."

She stopped and turned. "You are not staying here."

"Oh, yes I am."

"No, you are not."

"Brenda, you can let me stay here, that's the least you can do for lying. I know you don't want to get any lawyers involved. Your job is to try and get me to trust you again. I am holding the ace, not you."

She glared at him. "You should have died in that car accident."

"You don't mean that."

Brenda started back walking towards her house, with Johnny following. She knew it was best, to just let him stay. She wouldn't admit it, but he had every right not to trust her.

They walked in. Johnny put his bag down, and looked around. "This is really nice."

Brenda didn't say anything, she just stood their looking at him.

Johnny looked over at her. "Sweetheart, pregnancy agrees with you. You look good."

Brenda didn't say a word.

"Brenda, look, that stunt you pulled, really left me wondering, if you would just take the baby and run. I cannot and will not let that happen."

Brenda still didn't say a word.

"Are you not going to talk to me now?"

"You can't muscle me, Johnny."

"I'm not trying to."

"I can't tell."

Johnny laughed. "It's always what someone is doing to you. You never want to take responsibility for the things you've done. I didn't break anything, you did."

"What about mobs r us? Who's going to run your organization, or whatever you call it?"

"Brenda, don't worry about that."

"Are you really plan on staying?"

"Yes. I can't trust you."

"How long are you going to be here?"

"Up until the baby is born, and a couple of months after. Maybe even longer."

"Johnny, I'm not going to take the baby and run."

"I don't know that." He walked over to the couch and sat down. "Cheer up, Sweetheart, the next few months are going to fly by."

Brenda glared at him, and walked out onto the deck. Johnny's cell phone started ringing. He looked down. (My apt?). He answered. "John?"

"Anthony?"

"Yes, it is I! Guess what?"

"You got out of jail?"

"Yes, now where are you? We need to celebrate!"

"I'm out of town."

"Where in the hell are you?"

"That's not important."

"Yes it is, who is running the business?"

"I guess you are now."

"Does this have something to with that model?"

"None of your business."

"It is my business. I hope you aren't letting some dame, make you lose your focus. Women are like flowers, there's always one sprouting up. So, how long are you going to be gone?"

"For awhile."

"How long is awhile?"

"Awhile."

"John, you have to stop letting these wh-". Johnny disconnected the call. (Now, I have to deal with Anthony.) He dialed Ethan.

Ethan answered. "Johnny, I'm assuming you made it there?"

"Yes. Guess who just called me?"

"Your crazy father."

"So, you heard?"

"Yeah, not too long ago. The governor pardoned his sentence."

Johnny sighed. "I really need to be there, but I'm not leaving Brenda."

"How is she? I mean was she shocked to see you?"

"Yes, and she's definitely not happy. But she'll get over it, because I'm not going anywhere."

"You are just going to leave the business in Anthony's hand?"

"I don't have a choice. At this point, my child is more important. I have to keep an eye on Brenda."

"I don't blame you. Where is Ms. Barrett?"

"She's outside on the deck, probably trying to think of ways to kill me."

Ethan laughed. "Sleep with one eye open."

"I plan on it. Well, I'll be in contact."

"Ok, later man." Johnny disconnected the call. Johnny knew that he should leave, and go back to Port Charles, but he just couldn't risk Brenda taking off. And at this point, his child was the most important thing in his life.

Brenda eventually came back in, and walked right past Johnny. She went into kitchen. He got up and followed her.

"Brenda, I'm not here to make you upset, or stress you out. You have to put yourself in my shoes for a minute. You just left, and didn't tell me. Now, I don't know what you are thinking."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you would actually stay away."

"I gave you my word."

Brenda sighed. "So, are you really going to stay?"

"Yes, and I'm sorry if you aren't happy about it."

"I guess, I'll survive. I don't have a choice do I?"

"No. What are you seeing someone?"

"Johnny, look at me. Who could I possibly be seeing?"

"You are still beautiful, I don't care how big your stomach is." Brenda punched him. "Oww!"

"Don't talk about how big I am." Johnny laughed... Brenda would never tell Johnny, but she was really happy he came. Yes, she had friends in Hawaii, but having him there made everything better. That night, they went to one of her favorite restaurants, and afterwards took a stroll on the beach.

Brenda was a little tired, so they decided to sit down for a minute. Brenda rubbed her stomach. Johnny looked over at her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, just pregnant."

A older couple was walking by, they stopped. The lady smiled, and looked at Brenda. "How far along are you?"

"Eight months."

"Is it or boy or a girl?"

"I don't know. I want it to be a surprise."

She looked at Johnny. "Is this your first child?"

Johnny looked at Brenda, then back at the lady. "Yes."

"How long have you two been married?"

Brenda looked at Johnny, then up at the lady. "Oh no, we aren't married. He just knocked me up. I wanted to marry him, but he is a career criminal. So, it wouldn't work."

The lady's eyes got wide. "Oh….ok…" Her husband grabbed her hand, and tried to pull her off. "Well…..nice meeting you."

Brenda smiled. "You too." They leave.

Johnny laughed. "You almost gave the lady a heart attack."

"Well, she asked…."

After making it home, Brenda took a shower, and got into bed. She stared at the door, wondering if Johnny was coming in. She didn't know why, but she was hoping he did. She thought leaving would help, but she still loved him. She lied to him, and he ever right to be upset. She eventually turned her back to the door, in an attempt at forgetting about him. She stared out into the night sky. Brenda heard the door open. "Brenda?"

She turned and sat up. "Yes?"

"Look, I know you are still upset with me, and you don't want me here. And look, I'm still upset with you, but you can't expect me, to sleep down the hall, when you are right here."

She reached over and pulled the covers back. He walked over and got in. She turned her back to him and closed her eyes.

He turned...facing her. He stared at the back of her head. It had been months since he'd seen her in person, and even after everything, he still loved her. He never stopped. He moved closer, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer. She smelled so good. He touched her stomach, for the first time. Her eyes open. He continued to rub it. In a couple months he'd be a father. Their love growing inside of her. He leaned over and started kissing the back of her neck, Brenda closed her eyes, reached down grabbed his hand, and pulled it to her lips. She then placed it on her chest. Johnny continued to kiss her neck, and massage her. Brenda let out a soft moan. She did miss him. She sat up, and slid her nightgown down. Shifted briefly and removed it. She leaned back. Johnny looked down at her, and tried to take her all in. Her body had changed so much. He touched her stomach again. She didn't say a word, she just let him have his moment.

He leaned down and kissed her, for the first time in months. His lips against hers, felt so good. He moved down her body, kissing every curve along the way. His mouth moved to the center of her. She grabbed and pulled at the sheets, as his mouth made love to her. He took her to the peak several times, before releasing her. He moved back up and kissed her forcing her to taste what he'd been enjoying. Eventually, she moved to her side, and he removed his boxers. He kissed her shoulder, and latched on to her neck, as he made his way inside. She let out loud moan, as she felt him stretching her. He gave her a moment to adjust. She reached back and grabbed his thigh, squeezing it. And then started moving back against him. He continued to suck on her neck, as her moans grew in intensity. He felt her tightening around him, which caused him to moan. She reached back, and grabbed his thigh again, as she released her love. Johnny continued to kiss and suck on her neck, as he started getting deeper, until he shook, and drowned her in his love...

Part 4

It's the next morning, and Brenda is just waking up. She looked over at Johnny, who was looking at her. "Hey."

"Hey." He stretched.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, king kong penis." Johnny rolled his eyes. She smiled. "I think I'm going to need some ice."

"Did I hurt you?"

She grinned. "You almost killed me."

"Are you serious? Why didn't you stop me?"

"Johnny, I'm kidding. Last night was good."

"Last night was great." He leaned over and kissed her.

Brenda smiled. "I don't care what's going on, sex is always a constant with us."

He smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"I don't know, I have a hard time saying no, to that third leg of yours."

He caressed her cheek.

"Johnny, are you really staying?"

"Yes."

"I wouldn't try to leave with the baby, you have to know that."

"I don't know anything."

"I'm telling you, I wouldn't."

"And you expect me to believe that? After the stunt you pulled?"

Brenda sat up. "I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"Yes, you should have."

Brenda got out of bed, Johnny watched as she headed into the bathroom. He heard the shower, then got up, and headed in that direction.

Johnny opened the shower doors, and got in.

Brenda turned. "Johnny, just because we slept together, doesn't mean, we are together, and we are going to start doing couple things."

"This is not a couple thing, this is just us preserving the water supply."

She laughed. He leaned down and kissed her stomach. It kind of caught Brenda off guard. He looked into her eyes. "This baby means everything to me. I promise, I wouldn't do anything to hurt my child."

"I believe that, but you still have to make unselfish decisions, Johnny."

"I know, Brenda. It's hard, because I don't have a real family. This child is all I'm going to have…..its my blood. And you want me to just walk away?"

"Johnny, I don't want you to just walk away. I'd rather you stay, but I'm not delusional, I've given up on that ever happening." She stared into his dark eyes. "Why is that world like a drug? It's bad for you, it makes you sick, might one day kill you. But you'd rather have it, than be without it. And it's sad for the people that love you."

"You still love me?"

"Johnny, I'm always going to love you. And I also missed you terribly, but each day it got easier. But now you are back You say for five or six months?" She shrugs. "Who knows? And before you say anything, I know my lie, brought you here…but it's still hard."

"Brenda, you didn't want me around."

"How many times have you been shot? Why would I?"

Johnny didn't respond.

"My point exactly. I know you are going to stay for awhile, but then what?"

"I don't know. I do think I should be able to see my child, whenever I want to."

"No, Johnny you can't. I am not Carly. I won't do what she did to Michael. She put a man first, and I'm not going to do that."

"You are not Carly, and I'm not Sonny."

"No, you aren't but, you are very similar."

"I'm nothing like him."

"Yeah, you are." Brenda grabbed the soap. "I don't have time to talk about it. I have to shower. I have a conference call in an hour."

"Well, let me help you." Johnny reached for the soap. Brenda pulled it back.

"No, funny business. I have to shower."

Johnny smiled. "Of course."

"I'm serious, Johnny."

"What's the worse that could happen?"

"I'll be late."

"At least I can't get you pregnant."

Brenda laughed, as Johnny removed the soap from her grip…

"Sorry, I'm late."

"We were a little worried, you are never late."

Brenda looked out onto the deck at Johnny. "I ran into a little problem."

Madison looked concerned. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes. Ok, let's start the meeting…."

After finishing her meeting, Brenda walked outside, and looked down at Johnny.

She sat down beside him, and looked out into the water. It was a gorgeous day.

Brenda felt the baby kick. She rubbed her stomach. "I love you little baby, and I can't wait to see your beautiful face. And I hope and pray you look just like me."

"What, am I ugly?"

Brenda giggled, and looked over at Johnny. "No, you just don't look better than I do."

"That could be said, about the majority of the people on this planet."

"Is that a compliment?"

"It is."

Brenda leaned back. She felt the baby kick again. "The baby is kicking."

Johnny sat up, and placed his hand on her stomach. She guided him to the correct spot. "Is that it?"

"Yes."

He looked up into her eyes. "Wow."

"That's our baby."

He leaned down and kissed her stomach. "My baby…..still can't believe it."

"Me either. I'm just so happy that God decided to bless me again. I am so grateful. And I'm going to be the best mother, I can be."

Johnny reached up and caressed her cheek. She smiled and looked down at her stomach. "My stomach is huge, I can hardly see my feet, let alone anything else."

Johnny grinned. "Trust me, everything is still quite lovely."

She laughed. "You are such a sleaze ball. How did I get involved with you?"

"I've been told, I am quite the charmer."

"They lied. Women like you because you are hung like a horse."

"Is that why you like me?"

Brenda looked out into the water. "I didn't say I liked you."

"So, is that why you allowed me into your bed last night?"

She looked over at him. "Pretty much."

He laughed. "You are one of a kind, and I missed you."

"I missed...It."

He smiled. "I'll take that, I can't get jealous of something that's attached to me."

She grinned, and looked out into the water, as Johnny looked on. "It's so nice out. I think I'm going to go and take a walk on the beach."

"I'll come with you."

"You were not invited."

"I'm inviting myself."

Brenda stood up, and so did Johnny. They were about to walk down the stairs, when she feel something sliding down her legs. Johnny looked down. "What's wrong?"

Brenda looked up. "I think my water just broke."

All the blood went out of his face. "Isn't it too soon?"

Tears fall down her cheeks. "Yes, it is. Johnny, we have to get to the hospital."

"Ok...let's go..."

Beads of perspiration were on Brenda's forehead, as she grabbed the bars, and pushed. All of a sudden, all the pain and pressure were gone. She struggled to look down.

The doctor looked up. "It's a girl!"

Brenda started crying, and looked over at Johnny, who was speechless. He just stared at the baby. They were trying to get her to cry. Seconds later, she was whisked away. Brenda tried to sit up. "Where are they taking her?"

The doctor smiled, and tried to reassure her. "She was born early, so they have to make sure everything is fine."

Johnny spoke up. "But why isn't she crying?"

"Could be a number of reasons." Brenda looked up at Johnny. "Please, go and see what's happening."

Johnny grabbed her hand. "Ok." And then he was gone.

Brenda closed her eyes and started praying….

Johnny looked through the glass, he couldn't believe he was looking at his child….his daughter. She was so beautiful. She looked just like her mother. A nurse saw him, and walked over and closed the blinds. He touched the glass, and did something he rarely ever did. He prayed. He asked God to please let her be ok. He would do anything, if she was just ok. Johnny ran his fingers through his hair, he touched the glass. At that moment he heard a loud cry. A tear fell down his cheek. He knew without a doubt, it was his baby. The nurse came out. "She looks like she is going to be fine. For some reason she didn't want to cry. We have to run some more tests, because she is early, but so far so good."

Johnny smiled. "Thank You. How long before she is in her mother's arms?"

"Shouldn't be long, it just depends on the tests."

"Ok. I don't want to leave her, but I have to go and tell her mother."

"She'll be fine, I promise."

"I'm holding you to that." Johnny hurried down the hall.

Brenda sat up, when she heard the door open. "What's wrong? Where is my baby?" A tear fell down her cheek.

He walked over to her and kissed her. "She's fine. They are just running tests.

"Is something wrong?"

"Brenda, she was early, they have to make sure she is ok."

Brenda fell back onto the pillow. "I have to see her. I need to see her, Johnny."

"We will. We have to be patient." He rubbed her head. "You were great."

"I just want to see my baby."

"We will, I promise."

She looked up at him, and found comfort in his eyes. He smiled. He leaned down and kissed her again. "I love you."

"Me too."

About an hour had passed, when the door to Brenda's room swung open. The nurse pushed their baby in. She handed her to Brenda. "Remarkably, she is going to be fine. She's breathing on her own."

Brenda smiled with tears in her eyes. "Thank you so much."

The nurse smiled. "I'll give you a moment alone."

The tears spilled onto her face, as she looked down at her baby girl. "Hello, sweetheart. I've been waiting a long time to see you." She looked up at Johnny. "She is so beautiful."

Johnny smiled. "She looks just like her mother. Simply breathtaking."

Brenda looked up at him. "Would you like to hold her?"

"No."

Brenda saw the concern in his face. "Johnny, you won't hurt her. Sit down."

He cautiously took a seat on the side of the bed. Brenda sat up, and handed her to him.

Johnny was so nervous. He had never held anything as precious as her. Brenda leaned back, and looked on. "I never thought I would see the day, when you would be holding a baby."

"Me either." He looked down at her…his beautiful daughter…

The nurse came back in, and gave Brenda a quick lesson in breastfeeding. It hurt like hell, but she was determined to do it. Johnny thought it was the most beautiful thing, to see her feeding their child.

After the nurse left, Brenda looked up at Johnny. "This hurts so bad, I feel like screaming. Johnny, what are we going to name her?"

"We? I have a say?"

"Yes, you do. She is your child too, Johnny. You can help pick out the name. So, what do you want to call her?"

"You know how much, I loved my sister."

"Jo-."

"I know, you don't have to say anything. I know that's not a good idea."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand."

After some time, they decided on a name. Their baby's name would be, Jada Brielle Barrett….

It's been a couple of months, since Brenda had Jada. Johnny was still in Hawaii, at least for the time being. Brenda was shocked at hands on he was. She didn't have to get up in the middle of the night, he would beat her to the punch. She actually realized, just how good of a father he would have been. It really broke her heart, that her daughter would grow up and not have him in her life.

The baby was sleeping, and Brenda was sitting out on the deck, when Johnny came out. He sat down.

"Johnny?"

"Hmm…."

"When are you leaving?"

"What?"

"When are you leaving?"

"I don't know, when are you leaving?"

"In a couple of weeks. I need to get back to New York."

"So, I guess I'll be leaving in a couple of weeks too."

Brenda looked out into the water. "Back to Port Charles?"

"Yeah, my father got out of jail. Who knows what mess he has gotten himself in. But I'm not that worried about him, more worried about everybody else. So, how often can I come and see Jada?"

"Johnny, it wouldn't look right, if you came too often. Maybe a couple times out of the year?"

Johnny sat up, and looked at her. "No, Brenda, that won't work."

"Well, Johnny, it's going to have to. You can't have both. Look, I had no intentions of getting pregnant by you. I took every precaution. But then I found out about you being in the mob, and you had that accident….and things happened. But I love my little girl-."

"Our little girl."

"She'll always be yours."

They heard the baby crying through the monitor. Brenda is about to get up, but Johnny stopped her.

"I'll get her."

"I'll help you."

"No, let me."

"Johnny, you can't breastfeed. Or, is that something you learned?"

He laughed. "I'm good, but not that good."

They laugh and proceed to go inside….

Brenda is breastfeeding, as Johnny looks on. "Johnny, I just realized, you haven't stepped foot in a strip club, in over two months. How are you surviving?"

Johnny laughed. "I'm making it."

"How are things at the strip club, back in Port Charles?"

"I guess fine."

"You guess?"

"I sold it."

"What? You sold your pride and joy?"

"You are holding my pride and joy."

"What made you sell it?"

"Something happens, when you have a daughter of your own."

Brenda smiled. "Wow, never thought I'd see the day."

"Me either."

After Brenda finished feeding her, Johnny took her, and put her to bed. She took that opportunity, to go and shower.

Johnny took the monitor, and placed it on the cabinet, removed his clothes, and got into the shower with her.

They had only made love once, since he had been in Hawaii. Brenda heard the sliding door, she turned. "Johnny? What are you doing?"

"Nothing yet."

Brenda looked down at him. "Put that thing away!"

Johnny smiled. "I plan on it. I'm going to make it disappear in a minute. It'll be just like magic."

Brenda laughed. "You are such a creep!"

He grabbed both sides of her face, and kissed her hard, pushing her up against the wall. He moved down to her neck, while his hands roamed. She let out a soft moan. He moved back up to her lips, and softly kissed them. He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist….

Brenda's head is lying on Johnny's chest. "So, what are your plans when you go back to Port Charles?"

"I have other businesses, beside the strip club."

"Yeah, but it just won't be the same."

Johnny smiled. "Hey, I'll survive. I'm going to miss the people that worked there, more than anything."

"I'm sure you will."

"You liked them too."

"I did, I won't lie. There were a lot of cool girls working there. They were different than I expected. And then there were some, that were just as I expected."

Johnny laughed. "Will you come and visit?"

Brenda looked up. "Port Charles?"

"Yeah.

"Of course."

"Will you let me know you're coming?"

"Yes." Brenda stretched, and moved beside Johnny. "Nite."

"Nite." Johnny thought it was odd, that she just ended the conservation. (Maybe, she is just tired.)

She turned her back and stared out into the night. A single tear fell from her eye. (She wanted him to stay with them.) She felt Johnny pull her closer, and eventually she heard his breathing deepen. Eventually, she drifted off too…

About one o'clock, Johnny got up, because he thought he heard something. He went into the living room, but he didn't see anything. He looked out on the deck, and saw a figure. He should have been alarmed, but for some reason he wasn't. He opened the sliding door, and walked out. A lady with dark hair was standing there. She turned. Johnny's eyes got wide. His eyes filled with tears.

"Claudia…..Is it really you?"

She smiled. "Yes, it's me, Johnny."

He walked up to her and they embraced. "I can't believe it's you. I thought you were dead." He looked her over. "And you look so good ."

"I am good, and I'm ok."

He caressed her face. "I missed you."

"I miss you too."

"It's been hard since you left, I don't have anyone, that loves me like you do."

"Johnny, are you crazy? You do have someone, and you are really about to make the biggest mistake of your life. You have a beautiful daughter, and-"

"How did you know I have a daughter?"

"I know everything about you. I might seem far away, but I'm always near. And she is beautiful, Johnny."

"Yes, she is."

"Listen, you are about to make a huge mistake. Do you love your daughter?"

"Of course."

"Well, why are you going back to Port Charles?"

"Because-."

"Because?! Johnny, listen to me. If you don't go with Brenda, and be with your child, you will regret it. There really isn't an alternative. What fighting with Sonny? Or Anthony? Dying before the age of 35? That is what you will have to look forward to. And Brenda will move on, and she will fall in love again. And the man that she ends up with, will also end up being a father to your daughter. The only one she'll ever know."

"That is the only life I've ever known."

"You don't love being in the mob, you never have. Are you afraid? Because if you are, don't be. You will be fine. You are a very smart businessman, why not go legit? Johnny, you have a daughter now, make the right decision. And I know you love Brenda, I can see it."

Johnny remained silent. He looked down, and then back up. She was gone. "Claudia?! Claudia! He jumped, and looked to his right. Brenda was still sleeping. It was a dream, but it felt so real. He looked over at the crib by the bed. He got up and walked over to it. He looked down. Jada was looking up at him. "What are you doing up?"

He reached down and picked her up. "Let's go into the living room, don't want to wake your mother."

Brenda stretched. "I'm up now." He walked over to the bed and sat down. "I didn't hear her crying."

"It's because she wasn't."

"Well, maybe the angels were keeping her company."

Johnny looked down at Jada. "Maybe so….."

Part 5

Over the next few days, Brenda noticed a change in Johnny. He seemed like something was bothering him. She assumed it was because, they were parting ways next week. She looked out onto the deck, as he held Jada close. He loved her so much, she could tell. It was a shame that Jada wouldn't have him in her life. At least on a regular basis. She walked out onto the deck…...

She sat down. "Johnny, I think we should talk."

"Shoot."

"Bad choice of word."

He laughed. "I'm sorry, what would you like to talk about?"

"I'm assuming, by all the conversations we've had, you are not going to fight this arrangement?"

"No, I'm not." He looked down at Jada. "After seeing her face, I will not bring something as precious as her, in such a dark and violent world."

"Good. But Johnny….I don't think you seeing her twice a year is enough. Maybe we can meet every couple of months. It will have to be just between us, no one can know."

Johnny didn't say anything, he just looked out into the ocean.

"Johnny, did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you."

Brenda could tell he wasn't interested in talking about it. "We don't have to discuss it now, we can discuss it later." She looked out onto the beach, then back at Johnny. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Johnny, you haven't been talking much lately. Are you missing the strip club?"

Johnny smiled. "Of course not."

"Well, what's wrong?"

He looked down at Jada, who had fallen asleep. He stood up. "I'm going to go put her down, I'll be back."

"Ok." Johnny went inside, a couple of minutes later, he came back out, with monitor in hand. He sat it on the table and took a seat. He looked over at her. "Brenda, I've been thinking."

"I know how hard, that must have been."

Johnny laughed. "I'm serious."

"Ok, ok, ok…I'm listening."

"I don't think I can be apart from Jada."

Brenda sat up. "But, Johnny you agreed. You just said she shouldn't be around those types of things."

"And she won't."

"Johnny, I think I know what you are proposing, and I don't think it will work."

"Why not?"

"Because, it won't. You can't have both. You can't be in the mob, and be a full time father to Jada, that will not work. You have to choose one."

"I have."

Brenda eyes got wide. "You're leaving the mob?"

"Yeah."

Brenda sat up. "Really, Johnny?"

"Really, Brenda."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"But what about your father? Will he just let you leave?"

"It isn't his choice, it is mine."

"Are you really ok with that?

"I am, I don't want to be apart from Jada, and I don't want her to get hurt because of me. I don't love being in the mob, I never have. It's just all I knew."

"What if you change your mind?"

"I won't."

"How can you be sure?"

"I promise, I won't."

Brenda leaned back in her seat. To say that she was shocked, would be an understatement. "Are you coming to New York with me?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to be living with…..us?"

"If you'll have me."

Brenda smiled. "If I'll have you? Johnny, I've been waiting on you to say that for a long time."

Johnny took a deep breath. "There is something else."

"Johnny, please don't ruin it by saying something sleazy."

"Why would I say something sleazy?"

"Because you always do."

Johnny laughed.

Brenda sat up. "Well, just spit it out. But before you start, it doesn't have anything to do with a crime, that you committed?"

"A crime?"

"Yes, something that you want to confess, or get off your chest. Because if it is, I don't want to know."

Johnny laughed.

"I'm serious, I don't want to know."

"Brenda, calm down, it is nothing like that."

"Well, what is it then? Do you have somebody….back in Port Charles? Someone you're in love with?"

"Do I have…somebody…I'm in love with?"

"Yes, I was gone for a very long time."

"No, Brenda, there is no one else. From the moment I met you, there has only been you."

"No, it hasn't, what about Sandie and Mandy, and what was the name of that other one?"

"Brenda, you know what I mean. You are the only one that dominated my thoughts, and had my heart."

"I always thought the strip club had your heart."

"Brenda, shut up, just for one minute."

"Don't tell me to shut up, you are not the boss of me, Johnny."

Johnny threw his hands in the air. "Nevermind." Johnny got up, and preceded to go into the house.

Brenda called out to him. "Johnny, where are you going?" But he didn't answer. "Johnny?!"

Brenda leaned back. At that moment she heard the baby crying, through the monitor, that still sat on the table. She was about to get up, but she heard Johnny's voice. He was in the room with Jada. She leaned back and listened.

She heard Johnny talking to her….changing her…and feeding her. She thought it was sweetest thing ever. Being a father seemed to come natural to him. Maybe because of his upbringing and how bad his father was to him. She stopped listening, and started thinking about her own upbringing, and how different she wanted Jada's life to be. She was determined to give her everything she didn't have. Brenda heard Johnny talking again.

"….I never thought I would have my own family, but I promise to be the best father I can be. I'll never put anything before you. I can't believe God has blessed me with all of this. I don't deserve it, I know it. I've done some bad things in my life. But I'm determined to make up for them. I have an opportunity to have a really good life. A life that I never even knew I wanted. You know when, I met your mom, I thought she had the biggest mouth, of any woman, I had ever met. So beautiful, but so loud. And she couldn't stand me, but my charm wore her down. And my life hasn't been the same since. I have never felt anything close, to what I feel for her. I love her, and I need her in my life. And I want us to be a real family, and today I was going to ask her to be with me, for the rest of our days. I wanted to ask her to marry me, but she wouldn't shut up…"

Brenda covered her mouth, and turned the monitor off. She got up, and made her way inside….

She walked into the room, and saw Johnny laying the baby down. He turned and spotted her. "She woke up briefly….."

Brenda didn't say anything, she just stood there. A tear made it's way down her cheek. Johnny looked up at her.

"Brenda, what's wrong?"

"You want to marry….me?"

Johnny's eyes got wide. "You were listening?"

"The monitor….I heard you talking to Jada."

"Oh." Johnny's heart started beating fast.

Brenda walked over and caressed his cheek. "You never answered my question?" She stared into his eyes.

Johnny took a deep breath.

Brenda smiled. "Are you nervous?"

"I don't do this everyday."

Brenda giggled. "Johnny, you really want to get married? We don't have to get married, just because we have a child. You know that right?"

He looked down at her. "I disagree. I want Jada to have a real committed family."

Brenda sighed. "Me too, but I still don't want to get married, just because we have a child."

"I love you too."

"I know, but marriage, is on a whole different level."

"I know."

"And you, Johnny…are ready for that? One woman for the rest of your days?"

"I've never cheated on you."

Brenda walked over to the window, and then turned and looked over at him. "It was not that long ago, when you couldn't give up your mob life, and now I'm supposed to believe, that everything has changed?"

"Brenda, I don't know what else to tell you. Look Sweetheart, I can't make you believe me. I can only tell you, and let the chips fall where they may."

"Just please tell me, how you came to this conclusion."

"I just realized, I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life." His eyes are on her. "When you were gone, I missed you so much. My life was not the same. I couldn't just go back to being fun Johnny. Trust me, I wanted to, but the person that made me the happiest was gone….and I was miserable. Brenda, I don't need that life, I just need this one…the one with you and Jada in it."

Tears make their way down her face. "Sweetheart, that was so sweet." She walked over to him, and pressed her lips against his.

He looked down at her. "So, are you going to make my life and marry me? Or do you need convincing?"

Brenda smiled. "The sleaze ball always makes an appearance." She shook her head, then grabbed his hand, staring into his eyes. "There is no one else, I'd rather spend my life with than you."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. "I don't want to wait, as soon as possible."

"What…are you planning on killing me?"

"Nope, just can't wait to make you Mrs. Zacchara."

"No, I'm going to always be Brenda Barrett, I'm not changing my name."

Johnny laughed. "We can discuss that later." He leaned down and started kissing her neck.

"And Johnny, I want to find a ring big enough to fit that third leg of yours."

Johnny looked up. "What?"

"We have to have our own commitment ceremony."

Johnny smiled. "Oh, we can have that right now."

He picked her up, and carried her out, and into the other room….

*They were married a week later, right there, on the beach in Hawaii. It was very small, only Ethan and Madison were in attendance. Brenda wore a beautiful free flowing gown. It was appropriate for a beach wedding. And she was all smiles, when she saw Johnny standing there, waiting on her at the end of the isle, in a cream colored suit. They were pronounced husband and wife, as the sun was setting. Two years later, little Claudia Zacchara was born, and they lived happily ever after….well except that one time, they divorced, but they got back together…..

The End

One Chapter left, I decided to write a bonus chapter, telling all about the time they divorced.