BORUTO'S POV
Maybe... just maybe... Mitsuki is right, and I actually do have feelings for her.
My own thoughts which were only confined to me, made me slightly blush as I pictured her with me.
Just then, her fingers snapped in front of my eyes which brought me back to reality, which wasn't really cruel anymore since she was literally sitting opposite to me.
"Boruto? You were spacing out. Are you alright?"she enquired as she looked at me with concern.
"Yup, I'm all good!", I immediately reply as I clear my blush. "You decided what you want?" I asked her changing the topic as I point at the menu card before her eyes.
She simply nodded as I called for the waiter to place our order. We patiently waited for our dinner to come as I once again thought about my own feelings towards her.
Was it actually 'love' ? I don't even know how loving someone else feels...Yes, I do love Hima, mom and dad but they are my family! What about her?
"Is there something bothering you?", she asked me as she once again glared at me anxiously and with a little bit of frustration.
"No... I was just thinking... about... having c-c-c-crushes?", I say as I scratch the back of my head embarrassed upon the fact that I actually ended up telling her.
"D-do you have a... c-crush?", she asks me as her onyx eyes hidden under her spectacles widen upon hearing my statement and a shocked expression possesses on her face.
"I'm n-not sure a-about these f-feelings really...", I reply honestly as I smile while blushing. "B-But you could say it's a c-c-c-crush."
"I-I-is it a g-girl or a boy?"
"Obviously a girl!!", I yell slamming my hands on the table causing the other customers to look at us.
I cleared my throat and once again look at her pretending as if nothing had happened and shooed the embarrassment away.
"No... I just thought that you might be into Mitsu—"
"Why the freaking hell would you think that?!", I interrupt her slightly furious as my voice got louder.
"He is just... always sticking to you? And you both, together seem really..."
"Oh my! No! We are straight! At least I am!", I respond still annoyed and frustrated upon knowing her thoughts as I stop her from completing her sentence.
Like...what the hell?
Out of all the "7,65,59,57,369" people in existence, why the hell Mitsuki goddamnit?!
"So... w-w-what made you l-l-like this girl?", she hesitated as she looked down and held her backpack tightly whilst playing around with the little keychain attached to it.
"I honestly don't know what made me like her... she is someone really close to me..." I say followed by letting out a little laugh.
"I-I see..."
"C-c-can we stop t-talking about 'my' c-c-crush and m-my f-feelings for h-her? It's getting a-awkward!", I interrupt her from asking me any questions, because it was honestly embarrassing.
Like c'mon. My 'crush' is literally sitting in front of me, asking who my crush is!
But the worst part was that, I didn't even know if I actually had a 'crush' on her, I had no idea whether this feeling was anything different from friendship. How do I differentiate?
Where does one draw a line?
She, for some reason seemed really uneasy suddenly. I don't really know how to analyse things properly, but, even so- something about her current state upon knowing about how I felt, brought about a significant change in her.
"So, what about you, huh?"
"What?"
"Crush."
"Huh?"
"D-d-do you have a c-crush?"
I'm not really sure why I asked her this question when I myself wasn't ready to know the answer.
But then again, this moment, this answer- just might be it. I'd know whether to explore my feelings further, getting to know them and myself; or... simply forget. . . everything.
After a brief moment of silence, hesitantly yet confidently, with the cherry blossom colour blooming on her cheeks reminding me of spring itself, she nodded.
Oh.
So she does like someone already. . .
-
After having our dinner, we boarded our train which took us back near our homes after which we had to walk down for a while.
The sun had already set and the moon took over, casting it's beautiful moonlight in each and every corner of Konoha. The million stars glamorously twinkled brightly in the dark, yet clear night sky; as we made our way.
Was the situation similar to the night when we walked in the starry night and discovered that we were neighbours?
Nope.
I was so awkward around her back then, I'm still definitely awkward; but I was creepily awkward around her earlier since she had mistook me for a stalker.
Although it's not long enough, it definitely seems like forever since that day. It's still funny how only she is the person I've had a stroll at night till date.
But, I still cannot stop thinking about her answer. She likes someone. But, who?
I didn't enquire about him (assuming it's a guy) any further. I don't know... it just didn't seem nice to. I shouldn't be invading her privacy.
Alright. That's a lie.
I admit it- I didn't want to hurt myself.
Not that I had confirmed that she was my crush or anything. I just thought. I'm glad that this thought got dismissed as quickly as possible. I didn't want to be 'heartbroken' or any sort of that shit. It's good for me this way.
Who wants to go to the Uchiha household and face uncle Sasuke on daily basis? Nope. Not me. Thank you.
Speaking of her father, it seems that he was never with her in her childhood and was always occupied with business meetings until recently. Yes, he still has business meetings of all sorts, but he at least does visit aunt Sakura and her occasionally.
This honestly sucks, because although my father doesn't spend time with me, he was at least the best dad during my childhood. I don't know what I would have done if he neglected me back then. Sure, he doesn't have enough time for me now, but I know that he loves me and so do I.
But I cannot imagine myself in her shoes, how would I have even known that my father
loved me at the very least if he had never spent time with me in the years I needed the most?
How? Especially in the days when she was suffering from relationship and social issues? When her 'friends' were taking advantage of her and there was only her mother to support her?
But, I do know that her father loves and cares for her and is extremely protective. He is now at least trying to spend more time, which is much needed for her after everything she has been through.
Before I could realise, we were already in front of her place; the entire day went so quickly which does upset me to some extent since I did want to spend much more time with her. Kinda. I don't know.
She walked ahead a few steps, with her shoes clicking against the pavement, as she swiftly turned back facing me. Moonlight highlighted her features beautifully as I saw her closely under the dim streetlight of Konoha which caused a slight pink blush to form on my face.
"So...I would see you tomorrow?"she broke the silence as she held the straps of her maroon backpack tightly looking down.
"Y-Yeah...I'll get going..."I responded as I took a step back towards my home which was literally besides her.
"Boruto..."I heard her interrupt me which caused me to freeze on the spot, almost like a wave of something passing through me which forced me to stop.
The sound of her gentle footsteps increased as she advanced towards me with the muted light with through her red spectacles causing my blush to darken. I swear to the Lenny face, her pale cheeks were also stained with the color of cherry blossom which managed to shine even in night.
Her dark eyes hidden behind her spectacles, seemed to be piercing into my own. I knew I was blushing- really hard. Not to mention, was honestly hoping for my blush to magically clear up since with the every second that passed, the heat released via my entire body was increasing uncontrollably and rapidly.
She opened her mouth slightly as she came closer, which caused the tension between us to grow to an extent where I felt like literally running away due to embarrassment; and this was all because of those dirty thoughts in my brain thanks to the stupid Icha Icha series.
But I couldn't run. Couldn't move.
But, did I really want to? Was there actually a resisting force holding me back? Or was it just me not wanting to go away?
Why was she coming closer? What was she gonna say? What was she gonna do?
With little to no space between us,
with me observing the tiniest of details on her face,
with her looking slightly nervous,
and with us standing under the moonlight—
This feeling- hard to describe. Impossible, really. It was unfamiliar, yet familiar to say to the least.
A couple loose hair strands, escaping from her hairpin flew with the slightly cool wind blowing right between her and me. Her leaning forward, me not backing away—why?
We have been this close before, but why does it feel so different now?
Why don't I feel the same, yet feel the same? Why all of a sudden I've become this... weird? What do I want to do now?
As I was hunting for these answers, at the same time, I found myself leaning forward, towards her. My body was acting before my brain could analyse and give it a command.
Why? I don't know.
What made me do that? I don't know.
Confusion. That was my current state.
I really wanted more of...everything. More time with her, more moments with her, more walks with her, more movies with her, more meals with her; I wanted more of...her.
Just then, it hit me- realisation.
She has a crush.
What was I even thinking? What was I doing? Suddenly I've become so selfish? So disrespectful?
No. I couldn't do this. I cannot do this.
With the little to no space which was left between us, I took advantage of -and pulled myself back- straightening my posture.
"It was nice spending time with you." I said immediately, as I took a step back, hoping for her to not have noticed my desires.
It might just be me, but I could have sworn to see her disappointed as she herself straightened herself.
This is delusional. In psychology- one tends to believe and assume other person's feelings, effectively changing them, leading to misunderstandings.
I assumed her disappointment. I wanted her to be disappointed. Was she really disappointed? Obviously not! That's just my brain- more like my heart playing tricks on me.
"Y-yeah— thank you for today..." she gently said with her voice cracking slightly.
"Y-y-you're welcome."were the only words I could think of as I immediately took more steps behind, increasing the distance between us and waved her a quick goodbye as I practically ran inside my home avoiding further conversation; because... I was weirded out.
I've never thought, done or felt like this before.
But her thanking me was coincidentally something which she did the same night when I had dropped her. It's funny how the events are getting repeated but are yet different from before.
We both are more relaxed and open to each other now. We share each other's feelings. But not those feelings. For sure.
Thinking about that, I don't even know if my feelings towards her are real, maybe I'm just confusing myself with the feelings of 'friendship'.
Yes. It's the truth. 'Friends'—that's all that we are and would continue to be.
But, just now, the feeling that was running inside of me, what was that?
I just assumed as if she was my crush, and became so selfish, so unbelievably disrespectful towards her feelings that I was about to k—
No. I wasn't. I would never. Never ever.
She already likes someone. To add things up, I don't myself 'like' her. I believe, right now, I was probably trying to show her how much I cared and wanted her.
As a friend.
I didn't probably want her to be with someone else, more than me- since she is my friend.
Yes, definitely. Right now, whatever happened— it was just me trying to prove my affection as a friend to her. Nothing more.
I'm glad that I stopped, I was obviously taking it to a level friends aren't supposed to take it to.
I shouldn't be so selfish- wanting her to be with me always. I should really be more open— let her be and spend more time with her crush.
But, when I think about him, why do I have this weird feeling in my stomach? Why do I feel frustration and...anger? At the same time, am I...anxious?
All the thoughts clouded my head as I like always threw my backpack on the floor instantly as I entered my room. I lazily removed my watch and phone from my pocket and placed it on my dressing table which like I mentioned before, was my sweet little dump yard.
Every teenager does have that one spot where he would find the worlds craziest things and still wouldn't be ashamed.
Like, look at me. I've got a banana peel here from a week ago. It's turned completely black so no one can compare it to my hair.
Wait... what?
I lay on my cozy bed in my N.U. uniform as I unbuttoned a few upper buttons and dug my face deep inside my soft pillow.
"I don't like her..., right?", I muttered to myself hoping for my inner voice to answer back.
But none came. How was it even supposed to come when I myself am controlling my own thoughts?
Today's entire day flashed before my eyes the second I slightly closed them. From us holding hands in the movie theatre to the time when we had dinner; everything seemed to have been covered in a matter of seconds.
Before I could realise, I had an unconscious smile plastered on my face and the pillow in which I had my face dug, was getting warmer.
Why the hell was I blushing even on such a simple thought regarding her? Why had my heart rate suddenly increased? Why isn't my smile fading away? Why do I want to hug Hima's teddy bear tightly and not let go?
Guys aren't supposed to be like this goddamnit! Look at those cool Hollywood actors! So strong, so masculine, so protective— and then there is me. A 24/7 blushing idiot.
I sat on my bed and rested my back against the plain wall as I stared at my right hand which she held the entire time when we were watching the movie.
Even her slight presence had made things completely different for me. Everything that I hated earlier, I had started to love. From the first bench to my red tie; it seemed as if she could possibly change the entire world with just her presence.
And now...my hand...I recalled the time when her small hand fitted perfectly into mine giving me complete warmth and tenderness. A feeling which I never wanted to forget or let go.
I stole a glance in my mirror as I was lost in these thoughts, only to see my face flushed literally in the deepest shade of crimson and it felt like it was practically on fire. But even so, the bright smile remained intact as my blue eyes provided a complete contrast to my face.
Is this what they call love?
Today was truly unforgettable.
It wasn't a date, right?
But, if it was, then I enjoyed every bit of it.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I KNOW I WAS "SUPPOSED" TO PUBLISH THIS YESTERDAY BUT I AM AN IRRESPONSIBLE TEENAGER. I didn't even have to 'write' this- just copy paste from Wattpad. But holy? I procrastinated… a lot.
ANYWAYS
I cannot even tell you guys how much I adore this chapter.
I just love my dense Boruto so damn much; his tendency to overthink everything and denying his feelings is what I wanted to go for.
It was really different pre editing, and I'm glad that I changed it because I like it so much more now!
Don't lie, you were frustrated when Boruto backed off, right?
oh my, I'm such a cruel potato. I love myself.
In any case, the next chapter is going to be once again a really adorable one! I'm sure y'all would love it!
-Yumi