Sorry it took so long, but here it is, hope you like it! Thanks for those of you who reviewed!
CHapter 14: You Crazy Quack
When we got back to the dorm, I set my keys down on the desk.
"Bella are you sure you like the car?" Renee asked for the hundredth time.
"Yes mom" I unconvincingly reassured Renee again and again…oh and again!
I whirled around to face my mom and hug her, "Mom it was definitely a surprise… trust me."
"Well that's good to hear." Renee pulled away and took off her coat and sat it on my bed.
"Bella, dear do you have my camera?"
I had hid the camera in my purse earlier so I wouldn't be condemned to have picture's with my 'car'. I am glad I did, though I believe Renee has a disorder called 'photography phobia' every time something special to her is going on she has a camera!
"Yeah mom hold on." I turned towards the desk where my keys lied and picked up my purse. When I got a brilliant idea on how to get Emmett back for my stupid thing that he calls a car.
"Oh mom I left my purse at the restaurant! I'll go get it, you stay here."
I began to stroll to the door when Renee stopped me, "No Bella, I'll go with you, it's too late for you to go by yourself."
"I won't be by myself, Alice will be with me." Just then Alice came through the door.
"Alice will go where?" Alice asked.
I grabbed Alice's arm and lead her through the door before Renee could stop me. "Bye mom, love you."
When we got in the hallway Alice turned to me " what's that all about?"
"I will explain later."
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….thirty minutes later
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"So what are we going to do now?" Alice asked me as I turned into Wal-Mart's parking lot.
"Allright, I lied to my mom so that I could go take that embarrassing picture of Emmett and blow it upto poster size and tape it in Jasper's apartment and make several copies to use as black mail." I explained slowly to Alice.
"Do you have the picture?"
I pulled it out of my wallet and swung it in Alice's face; she snatched it and examined the photograph.
"WOW IS THAT EMMETT?" Alice squealed, I nodded and smiled.
It was a picture of Emmett in our cousins short wedding dress, (Supposed to be used on the honney moon, if you get my drift) Emmett was sitting on a table swinging a belt above his head. He was also wearing a punch bowl on his head – as a hat- his leg was extended off to the side, he had some pantyhose on, but they were being pulled off by some random guy who decided it was a good idea to slide them down with his teeth. Under the pantyhose was a thong, not a good sight.
Emmett was obviously drunk.
By this time we were in Wal-Mart, a man with a blue vest handed us a shopping cart, with a smile on his face. Alice snatched for it and jumped in the cart.
"Bella, push me." Alice pleaded, with a sad irresistible face.
"Fine, but just this once" I began to push the cart, and leaned forward to whisper to Alice "I feel ridiculous, why must you insist on doing this?" I could feel people staring at mine and Alice's peculiar behavior.
"Because it's fun, and you know you love me, or you wouldn't be pushing me." Alice battered her eyes and smiled really big.
"Whatever" I rolled my eyes, and began to search for the photograph area. When I spotted it I pulled in and handed my picture to the clerk behind the counter. She looked up at me with a 'Are you physichotic' look and frowned.
"Hello, I'm Lena welcome to wal-mart what could I do with this picture of yours?" Lena eyed us carefully maybe deciding to call security or not.
"Yeah, could you blow that picture up to lets say 24x30 for me?" I asked politely,
"Sure, hold on a second." Lena turned around and walked back to the back room. About two minutes later Lena was back with my picture, I asked her to make me about twenty copies of it. Lena frowned and turned back around when she came back about six minutes later I slipped her a twenty and left.
When we got back to the dorm, Renee's stuff was packed and by the door. She had crawled up and fell asleep in my bed. I decided to do the same after texting Edward.
Hey, In the morning unlock Jasper's door at five a.m!
Bella
I hit the button that sent the message and waited about two minutes before I got my reply.
My phone started vibrating and moving around on the table. I picked it up, flipped it open and read;
Okay, but Y?
Wait never mind, I am sure I will find out in the morning.
Edward
Alice's POV
I was disturbed from my slumber by Bella this morning. When I opened my eyes, Bella was standing over me with her hand on my shoulder, she was gently shaking me.
"What do you want?" I asked with an annoyed voice tone.
Bella pulled me up to my feet and told me to get dressed. When I asked her why, she put her index finger over her mouth and told me to be quite. So I followed her command and got dressed. When we got out of the dorm, I looked at my phone.
"Bella, it's six o'clock in the morning and I want to know what in the world we are doing up so early?" I asked as I crossed my arms and stood up straight.
"Come on we have to go deliver these pictures of Emmett." Bella lifted up a big white envelope. I smiled and followed Bella to her truck… ha-ha, every time I see it I have to stifle my laughs. I mean come on 'Barbie Bella' wow.
When we got in Barbie Bella's truck… ha! It got worse the interior inside of it was a leather that was the color gold and her mirrors had rhinestones on them.
I looked over at Bella; I could feel my face become redder and redder. I knew I wouldn't last much longer and I didn't.
"Don't say a word." Bella said with her jaw clenched tight.
I threw my hand over my mouth and turned to face the window.
Bella started the car, I could hear the engine roar in a protest to start, I looked over at Bella who had a smile on her face. "Under all this paint and bad interior, it's still my truck." Bella sighed and pulled out of the parking lot, I watched the streets pass us by…slowly.
"Can we go a little faster? I mean usually it takes five minutes to get jasper's apartment but with this car it will take us fifteen minutes." I complained while staring out the window.
"No, I have to get a mechanic to take a look at the engine, and stop picking on my, or what use to be truck." Bella snapped as we turned into Jasper's parking lot "besides we're! here"
I unbuckled my seatbelt and sprang out of the car. I began to prance away from the car when I heard Bella's feet shuffle against the gravel. I turned around to face Bella
"Come on, let's go!" I exclaimed as I reached for Bella's hand and dodged for the elevator.
When we got inside the building Bella looked at me with a inquiring face "What's got you all excited?" Bella asked as she pressed the ninth floor button.
"Oh- I'm just so enthused about getting Emmett back for you." I lied, the truth was that I had this brilliant plan to get Bella and Edward alone so that their love may grow and they can jump on the love express, choo-choo!
I also wanted to see Jasper.
When the elevator door's slid open, I felt a cold draft sweep down the long hall. I wrapped my jacket around me "Wow, it's so cold. They need to turn up the heat."
Bella laughed and pulled her cell from her pocket, I leaned over her elbow to see what she was texting.
We're here!
I rolled my eyes and walked down the hallway to Jasper's apartment, Bella was following behind me. I reached up to knock on the door lightly. After my second knock Edward was at the door, he threw the door open and told us to come in.
"Is he asleep?" Bella asked as she passed Edward.
"Out like a rock, did you bring the picture?" Edward said with a uninterested voice but you could hear the curious tone leak in like acid.
"Yeah, but I suggest you not look at them until he's awake." Bella handed Edward the packet and asked Edward where Emmett was sleeping.
Edward and Bella went into the living room; I peaked in the door to see Emmett but decided it would be best if I stayed out I would most likely start laughing, thus waking Emmett.
I went into the kitchen to fix me a drink, I sauntered over to the fridge and opened it up, all that was in there was milk, tea, hotdogs, cheese and… cottage cheese at least that's what it looked like-eww
Unsatisfied with my search I closed the door and stood up. I was looking at a photo of the boys on the fridge, I sighed and turned around.
Now I was looking for something to do, but sadly nothing stroke the slightest interest. Bored and tired I went and sat in the chair by the table. I rested my head on my arms and tried to sleep, I sat there for about thirty seconds, when I lifted my head, I saw a overcastting shadow hovering over the table. I slowly turned around to see a huge figure standing in the shadows.
I gasped "Edward…"
I heard a chuckle coming from the figure they began to step forward into the light.
I squinted my eyes, to see clearer. The person must have noticed because they lowered their head down to my face.
"Jasper!" I squealed as I jumped up and hugged him. Realizing what I done I sat steped back with a wide grin.
"Wow, I should surprise you more often" Jasper said in a shocked, yet amused tone.
I was about to say something when my genius plan came back. I quickly snatched Jasper's hand and led him to his –what I assumed to be- room. When I opened the door I yanked Jasper in and locked the door. Jasper looked at me with a shocked face. I examined the room and saw a door, I pulled Jasper in and locked the door again.
"What are you doing?" Jasper asked when we got in the closet.
"Alright, I have this awesome plan to get Bella and Edward on a date, and I need your help. So will you help me?" I asked
Jasper smiled and agreed to help me "So what's the plan, oh brilliant one?" Jasper questioned me with a playful smirk on his face.
I quickly started explaing my brilliant plan to him, " Okay you and I will say we are going to the movies and we'll invite Bella and Edward, but when they get there we will tell them that I had to run to the mall because my favorite store was having a HUGE sell and I had to go and you would come to assist me…"
Jasper interrupted me to ask if we were really going to the mall.
"Hold on, you didn't let me finish" I paused to remember where I was " as I was saying, we will pretend we are going to the mall, but really we are going to put on disguises to observe Bella and Edward on their date."
"So we are spying?" Jasper said with a witty grin
"No we are just... observing…"I explained
"Yeah, so we are spying?"
I sighed " Alright, so we are spying whatever… it's not like it matter's."
Jasper grinned and I rolled my eyes.
"So is our conference done?" Jasper asked me, his face looked serious but it didn't touch his eyes.
I sighed and nodded my head, Jasper unlocked the door and held it open for me, I said thank you.
When we got out of his room, Bella and Edward were creeping out of the living room, with their hands folded over their mouths. Jasper and I looked at them with a confused expression. Edward pointed his thumb to the living room, and looked at Emmett.
Emmett was on the couch, asleep. He had tape that lead form his forehead to his nose –it made him look like a pig!
Over his head –on the ceiling- was the poster of him.
I was about to laugh so I dashed out the room with Jasper close behind. When we got into the foyer, Bella said "You haven't seen the best part."
Edward took a camera from the counter and placed it in a box with a hole in the side of it so that it wasn't noticable. He pressed record and tip-toed in the room. He sat the box down on a shelf and looked at Bella she tossed him a bottle of baby oil. Edward lifted the top up and squirted it on the floor making a path to the door. Then he gently shut the door where the trail ended and handed us a bottle of shaving cream.
Bella said "When I say three squirt the cans at Emmett." We all nodded and turned to the door. Edward went to the stereo sitting in the corner and put in a tape.
The song was 'material girl' by Madonna. Edward began to turn it up until, it was shaking the portrait on the wall.
"Emmett this song fits you perfectly." Edward yelled loud enough for Emmett to hear.
Emmett's Pov
I laying on the couch, dreaming about Rosalie and me on the beach with my jeep – that was still intact- when on the radio came the song 'material girl' by Madonna came on.
Rosalie looked at me and said "Emmett this song fits you perfectly" but that wasn't the weird thing – I mean it was because I'm not a girl but the real weird this was that Rosalie sounded like Edward. So it kind of freaked me out especially when she tried to kiss me. I mean I felt like I was going to make out with Edward so I leaned back. Although when I did that I fell off of the jeep and that's what woke me up.
When I opened my eyes, I was looking up at the ceiling, there was a cross dresser on this poster and looked kind of familiar. I had thought that Edward and Jasper did it s a joke so I stood up and ripped it off the ceiling. When I got in my hands I took a closer look to see who this fag was.
"Wow this quire looks pathetic, I mean look at him…" I said to myself as I held the picture but it took me about five minutes to realize that the queer that looked so pathetic… was me! I knew immediately who did this-
Bella.
"Edward, Jasper where is that little- ahhh!"
The next thing I knew was that I was sliding on the slick floor. I tried to grab on to the end table but I ended up pulling down with me causing the lamp to hit me on my head.
I threw the lamp across the room and got on all four. I began to crawl to the door "Ha, you all think you all are so smart I mean putting something slick on the floor to make me fall, well think again, cause I can still crawl." I was almost to the door when I slipped again, and accidentally bit my tongue.
"Naww nou nuys nre dead!" I tried to yell, as I reached for the door knob and yanked it open "Nuhuh". I was drenched with shoving cream and everything went … white.
( you guys are dead!)
"I can't see" I yelled as I threw my hands in front of me. My hand had brushed against someone's leg, so I –making a huge mistake- got up to reach for someone's neck (hoping it would be Bella's) so I could strangle her, but I had no clue that I was still on the slick floor and fell backwards in the process.
I heard laughter and feet running accross the room and out the door, so I quickly crawled after them and grabbed someone's leg.
"Ha, I got you" I said with a triumphant grin. Then I heard a girl scream – I hope this is Bella.
"I'm so going to kill you!" I yelled at the anonymous victim, but I guess I scared them because they started to wail on me with what I was guessing was a purse.
I took my free hand and guarded my face, then I rubbed some off the shaving cream off of my eyes with my sleeve.
When I could see again I looked at who I was holding. It was a girl with red shoulder length hair and pale skin. I released her and tried to explain why I had acted so weird but she wouldn't give me enough time because she sprayed mace in my eyes and ran away in terror.
I fell back on the ground, and howled.
Gosh this stings, I am going to kill Bella! She's made me get a black eye, bite my tongue, hurt my toungue, get wailed on with a purse, and oh yeah get sprayed with mace. She is so dead!
Bella's pov
When we left Emmett behind in jasper's room we got in Jasper's car, The guys had to drops us off at our dorm because they had some errands to do and we were still in our pajama's. When we got back to the dorm Alice locked the door and turned to me with a devious look on her face.
"What?" I asked with a worried tone in my voice.
Alice began to circle me and examine me from head to toe. I felt like prey and she was the predator that was about to pounce. Alice had stopped and looked up at me, "You love me right?" Alice asked in a very sad voice.
"Of course, you're like the sister I always wanted."
"And as a sister, you would do anything for me right?" Alice questioned with a gloomy expression.
"Yeah"
"You promise?" Alice asked
"Of course"
"So, you will let me give you a make over!" Alice said cheerfully
"No" I shrieked in terror I could only imagine what Alice would do. I shuttered at the thought.
"But you just promised you would do ANYTHING for me." I noticed how she emphasized anything.
"NO, out of the question" I snapped.
Alice looked up at me and gave me this sad, pouty look and said "Please" in a betraying, heartbreaking voice.
Gosh I hate it when she does this… it's cruel in so many ways.
"Fine" I mumbled .
Alice shrieked and pulled the desk chair into the middle of the room. She patted it and told me to sit down.
I plopped down with a "humph".
"Oh come on Bella, it's nothing bad just a few minor fixes; like makeup, clothes, cutting your hair…"
"What!" I shreiked, terrified.
"Oh, you know, just the casual make over!" Alice explained
"No, you said something about cutting my hair."
"Don't be silly Bella, just calm down and relax, this will be over in a few seconds…"
Alice began to come towards me a blush brush, mascara and god knows what. I began to tremble. What have I goten myself into!
Edwards Pov
After we dropped off the girls, jasper kind of stiffened and looked at me from the corner of his eye.
I have a feeling that he and Alice have a plan going on.
We took the East connector and were heading downtown. "So what are these so called 'errands'?" I asked
"Oh I have to go buy these tickets for Alice and me, she wants to see a movie." Jasper explained as he came to a intersection.
"What movie are you seeing?" I questioned
Jasper shrugged "I don't know, Alice told me she would call me."
I now knew something was up. Alice always plans ahead, she is ALWAYS prepared.
As we sat waiting for the traffic light to turn green, Jasper looked at me. It wasn't but five seconds before Jasper verified that whatever he was going to ask me now was the perfect time.
"Anyway, Alice wanted me to ask you if you and Bella would like to join us?"
I know something's up. "uh-" before I could finish one sentence a 2008 blue Ford Focus sped right in front of us, they fish tailed as they turned right.
"Are you serious? Those idiots could of killed us!" I yelled as I pounded my fist against the storage box.
"Calm down Edward, they didn't hit us, and if they did, there's nothing we could of done." Jasper said in a gentle flowing voice.
"I know, but they are idiots, for-" Jasper cut me off and told me that it was fine and he knows what I am saying but we shouldn't be mad, we should be glad that we're alive.
I knew he was right and it killed me, but he has so much charisma. It's kind of annoying on how fast he can calm me down.
When Jasper realized how calm I was he sighed and turned right. After a long moment of silence Jasper began to talk again.
"So are Bella and you going to the movies with us?"
"Yeah, I'll ask Bella when we get back." I responded
I looked at the clock and sighed, "You know you could call her..." Jasper triled off suggestivly.
I grinned at him and pulled my phone out of my pocket, I began to dial her number when I got a text it read:
Bella is getting ready to go to the movies, I already asked. Oh and tell Jasper we are seeing Penelope.
-♥ Alice
I chuckled and jasper looked at me with a puzzled face, I raised up the phone and showed him.
"That's Alice for you." Was Jasper's only comment.
Emmett's Pov
I finally got my eyes to stop burning, - AFTER ABOUT TWNETY MINUTES OR SO OF PAIN-
When I got up, I began to pour me a bowl of cereal.
My pocket started vibrating. I looked at it and realized it was a text from Renee… great. All she said was that Phil had came back early so she had to leave and couldn't say goodbye to Bella because she was gone and how she thought she and I were at class…blah, blah, blah. WHAT! She also said that I have an appointment with a therapist today!
Just great what else can go wrong!
I put my phone down and poured some milk into my bowl, when again I got another text except it was from Rosalie.
Yes at least something good!
I picked up the phone eagerly to read:
Hey baby,
I can't c u 2day b/c I have 2 go out of town 2 meet my personal trainer.
Sry, I cant miss this, but u will b in my mind All day don't fret.
I 3 u, & I will c u later.
3 Rose
p.s. no u cant come to watch!
p.s.s & yes my trainer is a girl
GREAT! Today official sucks, I hate it and you know who I have to blame... Bella.
So to make her life miserable I am going to drag her with me.
Yeah, that's what I will do…
Bella's Pov
After Alice practically attacked me, I had the chance to look in the mirror.
I got up and took a deep breath, when I turned to the mirror I couldn't believe my eyes.
Alice had cut about two inches off my hair, layered it, and gave me slanted bangs. She had also straightened it for me –which was a big plus because my hair never works with me.
She had put me in a blue jean skirt and black leggings; I was wearing a light blue short sleeve shirt with a white tank over it, and a sliver chain with hearts on it. She also made me wear a pair of white flats. My make-up looked natural but made my eye's stand out beautifully.
"See? I told you, you look beautiful. You needed to stop wearing t-shirts and jeans all the time, put variety into your wardrobe. I mean you have a nice figure, you just need to show it." Alice said as she stared at my transformation in the mirror.
I ran over to Alice and hugged her, "Thank you so much."
"So you don't regret it!" Alice shrieked
"No" I answered honestly.
Alice began to jump up and down clapping her hands, wearing a triumphant smile and some how over her shrieking and the music she had playing in the background, she heard someone knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" Alice dashed for the door and opened it, reveling Edward and Jasper.
When I saw Edward, my legs went really wobbly, and the things that I wanted to say to him just went away. I felt like my mind was being clouded by a thick fog.
Edward walked in and stood in front of me, he was staring at the ground, but then his eyes looked up at me from under his eyelashes, and he gave me that heartbreaking, implausible, indescribable, crooked smile. I felt my heart kind of flutter –which is extremely weird because that has never happened before. It kind of felt… good- I looked at the ground and then back up at him, his jaw was dropped and he locked impressed. I blushed and tried not to stare at him.
"I'll meet you at the movies, in forty five minutes from now, bye." Alice said as she crept out of the room.
"Bella you look… Astonishing."
Jasper's Pov
When Alice crept out she was holding a bag.
"What's that for? I asked suspiciously
"Our desgiuses!" Alice whispered to me so Bella and Edward wouldn't hear.
"Oh, so what am I going to look like?" I asked, hoping that it wasn't anything too weird.
"I sketched them out, so I will show you at your apartment." Alice explained to me gently.
"What, Emmett's at my apartment, we can't go there!" I exclaimed.
"Yeah we can, because Emmett's right there." Alice pointed to a pretty peeved Emmett coming this way.
Man I would love to pick on him, but I think now is a bad time
"Come on" I grabbed Alice's hand and dashed for the nearest exit.
Emmett's Pov
On my way to Bella's dorm I passed Alice and jasper, but I decided not to deal with them just yet. I wanted to get to the main source; Bella…dun, dun, dun!
I kicked open Bella's dorm door, -well actually I opened then I kicked it, but same difference.- I saw Bella and Edward gawking at each other … erlack.
I'm sorry but when I see gawking or kissing and it doesn't involve me, it kind of grosses me out. Great, now I am going off of topic. I need to be mad and not care about gawking and kissing!
"Bella, you're coming with me!" I said as I grabbed her arm and lead her out the door.
ha,ha I sound like that one police officer.
"Wait, where are you going?" Edward asked with mournful face.
"Bella got me set up with a therapist… like I'm some quack. So I decided she has to go with me!" I yelled at Edward
Ha,ha, I said quack
Maybe now I am a duck…ha,ha,
I should maybe make a song
Quackiddy, quack, quack, Quackiddy, quack, quack, I am gooooing to a therapist. Quackiddy, quack, quack, Quackiddy, quack, quack, mayyyybe I'm loon. Quackiddy, quack, quack, Quackiddy, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, yep you're crazy tooooooo!
Ha-ha, I made a funny!
Shut up brain, I have to be mad now…quack
"Well I'm going with her." Edward demanded and I agreed
"Yeah, you know you should come, we need some more loons!" I said sarcastically
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Forty-five minutes later….
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"I cant believe you dragged me up here! I mean all I have to do is sit in a waiting room." Bella nagged as I signed my name in.
"Hey because of you I got a black eye, bit my tongue, hurt my nose, got wailed on with a purse, and oh yeah got sprayed with mace." I explained rapidly as I accidentally threw my pen down and it bounced up and hit the secretary in the face.
"I am so sorry," I began to apologize but the lady handed me a piece of paper and told me to sit down.
I plopped down in the far corner, away from Bella and Edward –who were again gawking- I sighed and looked at the paper.
Wow this form is so weird it looks like a riddle…oh, oooh it's a riddle for my car.
I am your shrink,
You come here seeking what you think,
I do not hide, or stay outside,
I am in front of your eyes when you look at me.
My language is old, my looks are good
I admire the tower clock in England too!
Yea, yeah, this sounds so easy…not.
I didn't have much time to think on where my car piece was before I was called to meet my therapist.
I walked past 'miss. I'm in bad mood because I got hit the eye with a pen on a accident' (the secretary) .
when I got in the office, the guy had a dark green paint on the walls, and a taupe couch. He had a diploma from Harvard hung up. His name was Ian Beckham I got bored looking at his diploma's so I laid down on the couch and looked at the riddle again.
I am your shrink,
You come here seeking what you think,
I've seen the hours, I know them well,
I am in front of your eyes when you look at me.
My language is old, my looks are good
I admire the tower clock in England too!
I sighed and tried to think this through, but once again I was interrupted. I looked up and meet Mr. Ian Beckham.
"Ello, Emmett"
Oh my gosh, he's English, he must be from England! Or maybe he could be from France!
"Hey Doc, so are you from England or France?" I asked the shrink
"Ur...Um...England" Mr. Ian Beckham told me.
"Do you know the hours well, and do you admire the tower clock in England?" I questioned him once more.
"Yea" the shrink responded with a wary voice.
Alright he has the piece to my car.
The shrink uneasily sat down and looked at me, "So Emmett, in this office I want you to know you can be my fellow chap, and tell me anything that is on your mind. So to start this session I have a few question's to ask."
"Okay" I answered.
"Good then" The shrink began to flip through some paper's and stopped on the third or fifth one. "Er… I had got a call that you are a cross dresser from your aunt this morning and she thinks that I could straighten this out, so my first question is, are you a cross dresser?"
"No"
"Hum…well that's bizarre." The shrink said as he lifted up the next sheet. "Are you sure you aren't a cross dresser?" he asked again.
"Yeah"
"Well umm..." The shrink loosened his tie and looked nervous " your sister brought us a photo of you and a bloke."
Bloke, ha, ha, ha,
Where do the English get the word bloke from?
Bloke…ha-ha
Wait, did he say my sister brought in a photo of me and a bloke.
"Hold on, what did my 'sister' look like?" I asked
"Oh she was a gorgeous young Lady with long blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes." The shrink –who I am about to kill-, explained Rosalie.
"What photo then?" I asked
The shrink held up the one of me at my cousin Ann's wedding.
Wow this is going to be hard to get out of, I bet if I go along with it he will let me out earlier.
"Oh that bloke was my boyfriend Jeffery. Oh was that was a fun night." I made my voice sound like a gay man's.
The shrinks eyes got wide and big
"WOW, um you came out with your true self fast.." He informed.
"I know, but I just feel so...comfortable with you." I paused and looked at my nails "You have no clue what I went through. I had to take off my pink nail polish and then I had to wear boys clothes, I am missing my red silky, nightgown right about now. "
"Um… is there anything you want to talk about, Emmett?" The shrink asked.
"Yeah , I am thinking about changing my name. Should it be Eleanor, Emma, Emily, Ebony, Eliza, or Elizabeth, Ellen, Elise, Emerald, Erkia, Essence, Estrella, Eva, Eve, or Evangeline?" I asked hoping this would be the icing on the cake.
The shrink gulped and said "They're all so pretty, I can't choose."
"What! That is the whole reason I even asked you, you silly goose." I sighed " I think my name shall be Evangeline because it sounds like Angelina."
The shrink looked at his clock and said "Well our time is about up, you have another maybe five minutes, is there anything you want to talk about?"
I thought of the riddle, again
I am your shrink,
You come here seeking what you think,
I've seen the hours, I know them well,
I am in front of your eyes when you look at me.
My language is old, my looks are good
I admire the tower clock in England too!
Alright, well he keeps asking me what I think, he's in front of my eyes and his language is old and I presume his looks are good. So he must have it!
But where?
His clothes, that is the last place I would look.
"Look this going to sound weird, but I need you to take off your clothes." I whispered to the shrink.
"Pardon me?"
"Take off your clothes!" I whispered.
"No!"
"Look you stupid bloke, I need that piece to my car and if you're not going to give it to me then I am going taking it!" I said with a assertive voice.
"What car piece-" The shrink asked, but before he could finish, I was unbuckling his belt.
I slung the belt to the side and took his jacket off. I searched the pockets-nothing. I pulled his shoes and socks off; nothing. But the guy wouldn't shut up so I stuffed his socks in his mouth. I began to pull his pants off when….the secretary came in.
"Sir, your appointment is over - oh my gosh!" the secretary was pointing at the grandfather clock in the corner.
Then it hit me… the shrink didn't have the car piece the clock did!
Uh-oh this looks bad!
I quickly jumped up and sprang for the clock and opened it up. I pulled my car piece out and dashed out the door.
Bella's Pov
I was sitting in the waiting room when the secretary got up to go get Emmett. I woke Edward up who was asleep on the waiting couch.
"Edward wake up." I gently nudged Edward, to wake him up.
"What?" Edward groaned
"Listen"
We heard shrieking and yelling then "Sir your appointment is over - oh my gosh!"
Then Emmett burst out of the room with the piece of his car.
I looked back to the room that Emmett just left and saw the therepist standing there, half naked.
Edward followed my stare and burst into laughter, followed by me.
"This is so great." I beamed, happy with my prank.
Okay guys, there's 14, hope you liked it, review if you did! Oh, I have a poll on my profile, you guys should vote on it, you'd really be cool people if you did.