Chapter 14
"So I didn't want to ask in front of him, I… didn't know if he'd wanna talk about it," Kona began as the three of them walked through the police station. Gatomon sat perched happily on Kari's shoulder, peering curiously at each person they passed.
"I kind of got the gist from context, but… what did Ken do?" Kona finished, leading them into her office and closing the door. M went for her desk chair, his expression tense and angry. He plopped down, making no effort to answer her.
Kari watched him for a moment, obviously expecting him to help tell the story, and perturbed by his silence.
"Well… it's complicated," Kari began, crouching to allow Gatomon to leap down onto Kona's desk. "A long time ago, Ken lost his brother in a freak accident. He… went to a really dark place, emotionally. He and his brother had been travelling to the Digital World for a while, and Ken went there to escape his grief. Well… he brought that grief with him to the Digital World, and it ended up transporting him to the Dark Ocean. Once there, it was all too easy for the darkness to swallow him, exploit him. To… infect him. Like a virus."
Kari paused, looking to M. He clicked his teeth in annoyance, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on the desk, burying his face in his hands. "Don't look at me, I'm not helping you tell this story," he mumbled into his palms.
Kari sighed. "Well, as I said earlier, the Dark Ocean is a cesspool of darkness, and it has this… weird ability to connect people through their darkness. And that's how… Yukio found Ken."
M made some kind of aggravated noise, but Kari continued regardless.
"At the time, Yukio was fully immersed in his search for a way to get to the digital world. His… possessor's search to get back."
M straightened in the chair violently. "Yes, I was a horrible monster, playing a man like a marionette. We know this. Can you skip this part?" he said irritably.
Gatomon hissed, and M turned away from her.
"I'm sorry, I just think it's necessary that she knows," Kari said with more conviction than usual. "Anyway… Myotismon concocted these… half-digital, half-darkness spores that would grow and feed on human minds. Once matured, they would sprout, providing… Myotismon with the necessary feedback to get back to the Digital World."
M was becoming more and more aggravated every time Kari used his name. Kona gave him a look; one that she hoped said 'I'm aware it's frustrating, but I know it wasn't the you that I know. Cool your jets.'
M narrowed his eyes, obviously electing to ignore the scorn.
"Ken was one of those humans, imbedded with the spore the day he went to the Dark Ocean following his brother's death. The spore brought out everything dark within him; indifference to his family, feelings of inadequacy, and most importantly anger. He took that anger to the Digital World once again, using it to create a dangerous persona for himself; the Digimon Emperor. He tried to conquer and enslave the entire Digital World, and very nearly succeeded. Myself and the other DigiDestined were eventually able to pull him back from the darkness, though, with a lot of hard work. And he's been one of greatest allies ever since, providing us with a unique perspective on the darkness that lives inside all of us. It's… why I thought he could help," Kari finished bashfully, looking to M with more empathy this time.
He sighed, visibly trying to rid himself of his irritation. He clearly failed, only managing to appear even more dejected as his shoulders and eyes sank.
"Yeah…" Kona said turning back to Kari. "But words are only helpful if they're heard."
"I heard him just fine," M said, looking out the window, annoyance clear on his features.
Kona exhaled, finding them at an impasse. M was obviously not ready to heed Ken's advice.
A thought struck Kona as she decided to drop the subject. "Something's been eating at me," she began anew, walking to the inner windows of her office and pulling the string to drop the shades for privacy. She couldn't help but examine the other offices, looking for Amaya. Kona turned back as the shades dropped, watching as M clearly scanned for her too. Kona tried not to let her grin show, disguising it by pursing her lips.
"The timing; if Yukio wrote War Cry to scan the entire Digital World for Myotismon, why did it take so long to find him? When he was imprisoned by that anti-virus, it couldn't find him. Otherwise War Cry could have easily destroyed him then; he was pretty much defenseless. So… why?"
Kari shrugged, thinking. "Maybe anti-viruses work like cloaking, like… keep whatever virus they've attacked hidden, to avoid conflict with other anti-viruses."
"Maybe… but… Myotismon is an anti-virus now, and War Cry can find him just fine," Kona said with frustration, rubbing her temple.
"My code," M finally piped up. "You said my code had changed with that anti-virus on me. You said the anti-virus had filled the code gap that was meant for you. Yukio wrote War Cry's search criteria before the anti-virus attacked me. So… War Cry must have been searching for… my old code, the one with the gap. I think Kari's right; I think the attached anti-virus cloaked me from him. And while I am an anti-virus now, my code itself is no longer shielded."
"So… why don't I put it back?" Kona asked.
All color left M's face, and his breath caught in his throat. His hands tightened on the chair, and his entire body tensed.
Noticing his immediate panic, Kona hurried to continue. "You're not a virus anymore, M, it won't do anything. It will basically just be a redundancy; an anti-virus attached to an anti-virus. But maybe it will shield you from him, like invisibility."
With manic fear, M began to furiously nod 'no.'
Kona rushed around the desk, kneeling next the chair. She took his clenched and shaking hand in hers, holding it tight. She tried to look him in the eyes, but his sea-blue pupils were fixated ahead in stunned dread. "I know you have some… reservations…" she began cautiously.
"No, you don't understand," he interrupted, his voice breaking in trembling distress. "I have nightmares about that thing. When I'm asleep, when I'm awake… when I… blink. When I breathe…"
His free hand instinctively went to his neck, and he shuddered as his fingers graced the scar the anti-virus collar had left there.
"Sometimes just thinking about it turns me into a rabid, panicky mess. I hide it rather well, but…"
He swallowed hard, pulling his hand out of hers. "I don't know if it permanently damaged my code or not, but it damaged… my mind, Kona. I can't… I can't return to that. That thing killed me… over, and over, and over. I know that it's not going to do anything… hurt me, but… just… the thought of it…"
He seemed to begin hyperventilating, burying his head in his hands.
Kona didn't know how to react. She'd never seen him this unhinged before… never seen anyone this unhinged.
She did what he usually did to her when she became unreasonable; force him.
She grabbed both his wrists, yanking them away from his face and leaning down in front of him so he would have to look at her.
"Hey! I'm sorry. I won't do it if you don't want me to," she said, her voice breaking as she realized how much she regretted suggesting this. "Seriously. I won't. But… I would really like to see if it could work. If he can't find you, that will give us a massive advantage. We can begin to fight him, to figure out how to stop him. I want to protect you, and I think this could do it. But if you tell me no, then I won't… okay?"
He was still for a long time. His hands shook in hers, his eyes unsure and afraid. But he made an effort to calm himself, taking a deep breath and relaxing his fists.
"No, I…" he paused, swallowing hard. "I think you should try it. My petty fears shouldn't stop us, shouldn't… hinder your progress."
"They're not petty," she said, leaning in closer. "They're very real, and I get it. Really, I do. I know what it's like to be forced to face something before you're ready. And if you're not ready, I understand."
He slowly blinked away his anxiety, his expression relaxing as he leaned back in the chair. He nodded gingerly.
"I'm okay," he said, his voice stronger now. "Momentary weakness," he continued with a grin, peering at Gatomon and Kari somewhat bashfully. "Do it. I'll handle it."
"You sure?" Kona asked, standing and grabbing her laptop.
"Yes," he said, fidgeting slightly. "Nobody ever made progress without a little pain."
Kona grinned at him, resting a hand reassuringly on his shoulder.
"Just give me a sec to write it," she said, plopping down on the floor and leaning against the file cabinet, laptop perched on her knees.
Writing code was second-nature, so she only half-concentrated on it. She watched M out of the corner of her eye, studying his silence. Gatomon sat quietly on the desk before him, her tail slowly flowing back and forth. Usually she would have a sassy comment to fill the silence, but something told Kona that M's display of fear warranted quiet. Kari watched Kona, her fingers fiddling with a ring on her right hand.
"Okay," Kona said, straightening. "It's almost identical to the one that imprisoned you," she said, to which he grimaced quickly. "Just remember; it won't work. There is nothing in you to attack. It will basically be a fashion accessory."
He tried to smile, but it came off as more of a wince.
"I wrote a kill clause in it. If I need to remove it, all I have to do is press a single button. Okay?" she asked, wondering if he was only agreeing to this in order to appear brave.
He nodded, swallowing hard.
"Alright," she breathed, looking down at her laptop, her finger hovering over the enter key. "Here goes nothing."
The 'click' of the key resounded like a gavel when she pressed it. M tensed up like a statue, slamming his eyes shut as black pixels began to form and take shape around his neck. They crawled like spilled milk; slowly following the scar in measured fashion.
M jerked suddenly, and Kona's office disappeared, revealing M's barren castle, the single window and coffin making the room look massive. Kona's heart slammed against her ribs, and as she looked down, she could see the flesh burning away from her fingertips, revealing bone where her fingerprints should have been. She yelped, crab-crawling away, as if it would help.
As she did, she found herself back in her office, revealing Kari's and Gatomon's terrified expressions. They must have seen it too…
"Sorry," M choked, his hands grasping the armrests so hard they shook. "Flashback. Didn't mean to project it…"
He winced again as the collar fully formed, clasping closed with deafening finality.
"Do I need to remove it?" Kona asked, her voice breaking with the after effects of M's vivid projection.
"No," he gasped, his eyes still forced shut tight. "I'll handle i…"
Her office disappeared again, this time revealing the forest outside his castle. Kona immediately looked down, her hands flying to her chest to make sure she could breathe. Only they were his hands, his burning flesh. She yelped, hearing only his cries as he maniacally tried to wipe the flames away. He panicked, bolting away from the castle. Her thoughts were overridden by what she could only assume were his.
SOMEONE HELP ME.
It was somehow both a whisper and a scream, bouncing around inside her skull like a ping pong ball. He continued running, thinking… hoping that getting away would make it stop.
He stumbled, finding his muscles exposed and weak as his flesh almost entirely burned away.
NOT AGAIN.
He cried out in pain, madly trying to push to his feet and screaming as the bone in his left arm snapped.
"Take it off!" he cried, and Kona found herself back in her office, shivering violently. He bolted up out of the chair viciously, backing to the wall as he clutched at the collar, red static emitting from his palms as he instinctively tried to rip it off.
Without hesitation, Kona slammed her fist down on the 'esc' key, letting out a stressed breath as the collar disintegrated from around his neck, revealing only the scar.
He collapsed, sliding down the wall with a whimper, burying his expression of mixed fear and shame in his palms once more.
"I am so sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to do that. I just… the feeling of it…" he pause, shuddering once. "It didn't actually do anything, but… I thought… I thought I could handle it. I was wrong."
Kona slid across the floor to sit next to him, grabbing his fiercely trembling hand and holding it tight. "I know," she said, leaning against his shoulder for comfort. His shivering immediately began to subside as she did.
Kona opened her eyes, finding Gatomon sitting on the desk like a stunned statue, and tears in Kari's eyes.
Kona sat up straight. "Wait, you guys saw it too…?" she asked. Gatomon nodded slowly, and Kari quickly wiped the tears away.
"Yeah," she said shakily, reaching forward and resting a hand on Gatomon, who shook her head to rid herself of the images, her ears flopping comically.
"But I thought… only I was connected to your mind?" Kona said, turning back to look at M.
He still didn't look up at her. "I must have… momentarily… reached out to everyone around me…"
"Uhhhhh…" Kona mumbled with dawning realization. She bolted to her feet, feeling them weak and shaky with stress. She hobbled to the inner window, splitting two of the blinds and peeking into the PD.
Everyone was deathly still, their eyes distant and afraid.
"Shit," she mumbled, turning back into her office. "You really did. I wonder how many people just saw that…"
M groaned in frustration. "I'm sorry," he said again.
"Don't apologize," Kona said quietly, walking back around and leaning on her desk for stability. "I should have known better. This was a mistake. I should be sorry."
M finally looked up, taking a shaky, deep breath. He blinked anxiously several times, and Kona thought she could see tears.
"That was… awful," Kari said, her eyes distant. "I wouldn't wish that on anyone… not even… the old you."
"Same," Gatomon agreed, walking across the desk to lean against Kari. Coming from Gatomon, that was… impressive.
"I think… we should go home," Kona said weakly. They could all use some rest. Kari nodded, picking up Gatomon and holding her tighter than usual.
"See you tomorrow?" she said as she pulled the door open. The people outside had begun bustling around again, but noticeably tense and quiet.
"Yeah," Kona said, pushing away from the desk and offering M a hand. It took him a moment to accept.