"Hurry up now!...Clear!"

One.

"Nothing, Clear!"

Two.

"Come on don't do this. Clear!"

Three.

"You're not gonna die! Clear!"

Four.

"No fucking way, Clear!"

Five.

Through the glass he watched horrified how the straight line went over the monitor and listened to the permanent ear piercing beep tone.

She didn't really know how, but somehow Alex ended up in this SUV together with Spencer, JJ and Hotch on the way to save her daughter from the man who had taken her from them. Her heart was beating fast in her chest would they be in time? And what if she was alive, but broken beyond repair, what if she would never get her daughter back. She knew exactly how this all could effect her.

The closer they got to where her daughter was the faster was her heart beating, she was worried sick for her daughter but also beyond furious, she wanted revenge, she wanted their heads for what they did to their daughter. Still she couldn't find a clear thought, around fifty thoughts went through her head in a second.

She saw how Hotch threw a glance at her and Spencer, "Alex, Spencer, when we get there you will stay back understood, we can't risk that when we catch him the defense is going to use your active presence as a way to decrease the conviction" he said.

"I will try" Alex said and then she reached over to Spencer and took his hand in hers to hold it tight, Spencer squeezed her hand.

"I love you, no matter what, we'll get through this okay? We will" he said and Alex nodded fear in her eyes of what they were going to find.

And then they were there, they got out of the cars, she saw Morgan and the other SWAT members run to the house with their guns raised, Rossi, JJ and Emily lead other Agents around the house to surround it. Hotch stayed with them to make sure they wouldn't go in, Alex would've went in too, if she hadn't known that she would try to kill everyone who wasn't her daughter.

So Alex and Spencer only held onto each other like their life depended on it and held their breaths until they heard Morgan through the radio.

"I got her! She's unconscious but alive, she's alive Alex!" and then another SWAT Agent.

"Clear, we have them all, they surrendered!" Spencer wrapped her in a bone crushing hug and she buried her face in his neck, she was alive! Her baby was alive she at least had a chance to survive!

Then everything went really fast.

"A bomb! Get out of here!" they froze and stared at the house, Agents came running out some had children in their arms. Rossi came running to them with a little boy in his arms screaming for his mother, Emily and JJ came form the other side. Morgan was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Mor-" Emily's sentence was cut of by the explosion nearly throwing them off their feet. Alex looked up to see the complete house on fire, still small explosions went off, but what stopped her breathing, her heart and her complete world was the fact, that Morgan and Kat were nowhere to be seen, they hadn't made it out. They were dead. They had been too late to save her.

She only took two steps before a set of strong arms went around her body to hold her where she was, it wasn't Spencer he still stood behind her unable to move, it was Hotch who stood in front of her and was talking to her. She tried to get free, tried to fight his hands off so much that Rossi had to help him, but she still kicked, hit and tried to get free, eyes locked on the burning house she wanted to run in.

She wanted to burn, she wanted to burn because everything was better than the unbearable pain that started to spread through her whole body. While fighting with her two colleagues she saw glimpses of a crying JJ who watched the burning house with a hand over her mouth.

Emily who went next to Spencer, who was still standing there paralyzed with shock, tears gleamed in her eye's, over the pain she saw in his eyes and their fail to save Kat.

"Let me go...let me go now. I need to go in! I need to find Kat...let go of me!" she said and kicked Rossi's shin so hard that he would let go and Hotch alone wasn't able to hold her. She stumbled, felt more arms trying to get a hold of her but she was already out of their reach, running towards the flames. Tears started to blurry her sight then suddenly she was grabbed by her arm and spun around nearly causing her and the person who had reached her to fall over.

This time it were more familiar arms around her, it was Spencer who held her back from running into her death and while he held her the pain was overwhelming her. With a heart shattering scream she fell to her knees, her hands dug into the cold earth and tears streamed down her face as Alex screamed out the pain and grief over her daughter's death.

She held the pregnancy test in her hand, and looked at the two lines, she had been so scared but the fear was fading and replaced by pure happiness, she was pregnant.

She laid here at her OB/GYN's looking at the black and white screen with tears in her eyes while she listened to the most beautiful music there was, the heartbeat of her daughter. Her daughter, she was having a baby girl!

She laid in bed reading a book waiting for James, suddenly something prodded against her belly from the inside, she blinked a couple of times, her hand traced over the spot and there it was again, for the first time she really felt her baby moving, her baby, her daughter.

She was in pain and simply exhausted but all of it was gone once she looked into the little face of her daughter when she was placed in her arms, there was nothing on this earth she could love more.

She listened to Kathrin's babbling while she was making dinner. A loud, sudden squeal got her attention and she looked up only to see how her eight month old let go of the coffee table to make a few wobbly steps towards her.

"What do you want to eat baby?" Alex asked not expecting an answer from Kathrin."Bapple" Alex blinked "What?" her daughter pointed her finger at the bowl full of Apples to her right "Bapple."

Kat ran towards her in a blue dress, her hair up in small pig tails and she smiled brightly at her mother, "I love you mommy!"

"I hate you! I wish you weren't my Mom!"

"You don't hate me Mommy?" Alex laid next to Kat and pressed a kiss her cheek. "I could never hate you, not matter what, I will always love you, there is nothing in the world you could say or do to change that baby."

They stood in front of the new House and Kat's grip on her hand tightened a bit. "It's gong to be okay" she tried to ensure her.

"Hello! My name is Josephine I life across the street what's your name?" "K-Kathrin" "Cool! You wanna play with me? I just got a new hula hoop now I have two!" Kat looked up at her and Alex nodded smiling, watching as the two ran off to play.

Kat had her hands pressed against her belly and waited for her brother to kick, when it happened she grinned up at her in amazement "Wow...".

She held Ethan carefully in her arms and then looked up, "I'm going to be the best big sister, I will always protect him"

Alex held her tight while Kat cried into her chest over the death of her father.

"Why aren't you asking Spencer on a date?" she blushed hard "Because me and him are just friends." Kat raised one eyebrow "Yeah of course, and I'm Spock" she said throwing flour at her.

They laughed so hard when they saw each other that they had tears in their eyes, both of them were full of flour, as Kat had decided to make a flour battle out of their cookie baking.

"You're really okay with me and Spencer being together?" Kat hugged her "Of course, I want you to be happy Mom and you're happy with Spence"

"I love you Mom" Those should be the last words her daughter said to her.

In Spencer's arms she watched the house burning down, still crying and she could hear his own sobs while he held her, while he tried to be strong for her, but Alex couldn't feel anything, everything was numb expect for the pain.

"Why? Why my daughter?" she screamed and ripped out the grass under her fingers, she was breathing heavily between the sob's even though she didn't know why she was breathing anyway. Someone else kneeled down next to her and Spencer and took her hand, Alex looked at the face of JJ, the still burning flames illuminated the tears on her cheeks and for a second it seemed like she wanted to say something.

"Why?" now her broken voice was barely above a whisper and new tears spilled over JJ's cheeks.

"I don't know." out of the corners of her eye she saw the other three walking over Rossi crouched down next to them and laid his hand on her shoulder unable to say something.

"We're so sorry Alex..." Hotch said and she had never seen this man show many emotions and now she didn't care but someday she would appreciate the tears in his eyes. When a new wave of tears would wash over her Spencer pulled her back in his arms and kissed her forehead, closing his own eyes under which tears ran over his cheek.

"Oh my god, Alex-" again Emily was interrupted but this time by shout of a very familiar voice.

"Help me!"

When they where at the house, Morgan shortly told the Agent's he would take with him the plan of attack, but before they actually went in, he glanced over his shoulder at Alex and Spencer and he saw all the worry, fear and hope in their eyes, he would bring them Kat back!

Morgan ran to the front door of the house with anger in his body and even the seconds the two Agents in front of him needed to kick the door down seemed way too long, he walked in behind them and found around fifteen people in the room behind, around eight children, four women and three men all sat there and didn't even move when they entered.

But Morgan didn't care none of them was Kat, they walked further inside, at the end of the hallway a door to his left opened and a woman with a gun stepped out.

"He's the prophet! She belongs to him! You won't take her!" she screamed but was dead before she could fire, Morgan looked in the room behind her and his breath was caught in his throat when he saw Kat lying on a bed.

The parts of her body which weren't covered by the simple white dress were covered in dirt, the woman had been in the middle of cleaning her when they came. Her hair was messy and leaves were stuck to it, her skin was bruised, scratched and bloody.

He quickly went over to her and searched for a pulse, "Come on Kat not now, we're here, we're all here to save you! You're going to be okay angle!" then he finally felt a faint pulse under his fingers and sighed in relieve.

"I got her! She's unconscious but alive, she's alive Alex!" Morgan told them through the radio and slide his arms around Kat's body slowly lifting her off the bed when he heard the others.

"A bomb! Get out of here!" Fuck. He would never make it out the front door and far enough away from the explosion. He laid Kat back down and tried the glass terrace doors, but they were locked so Morgan shot them, picked Kat up and ran out as fast as he could but they didn't get very far before the explosion went off and threw him off his feet, he tried but couldn't keep Kat in his arms. Then something hit the back of his head and he lost his consciousness.

When Morgan woke up his head hurt like hell and he couldn't see straight. He blinked and the heat of the burning house got more intense, turning around he saw the flames consuming the house, then a scream reached his ears.

"Why? Why my daughter?"

He quickly turned and looked around, then he saw a white body a few feet away from him, Kat! Ignoring the pain in his head and arm he crawled over to her, she laid on her stomach and Morgan could see the burnings on her back.

Morgan quickly checked for a pulse and after what seemed to be forever he found one "Just hang in there Kat! Don't give up, don't give up now sweetheart! You're the strongest girl I ever met come on don't give up, you can do this I know it sweetie" he mumbled and lifted her up in his arms again.

He walked around the burning house and in the distance he saw a group of people, three of them on the ground, Morgan knew that two of them were Spencer and Alex. They needed to know they weren't dead, Alex needed to know that her daughter was still alive.

"Help me!" Morgan shouted and struggled a little with Kat's body while walking, Hotch was the first to reach him and he quickly took Kat from his arms.

"Emily! Get the paramedics over here!" he said and in the next moment Alex was beside him.

"Is she alive?" she asked walking beside them touching Kat's cheek.

"Yes, she's alive, she's alive Alex!" then the were met by the paramedics. Hotch placed Kat as fast and gently on the stretcher as he could.

"Fast we need to move I barely got a pulse" one of the paramedics said as they loaded her up. "You should dive with us" he said to Morgan who shook his head.

"No, her mom should ride with her" he tried but in this moment his sight blurred again and Rossi had to help him standing.

"Go with them, just don't leave her alone!" Alex said, he nodded.

"I promise!" he said and got up into the ambulance, the next second the doors closed and they were on their way. "Don't, I'm okay mild concussion maybe, help your colleague and save her!" he said to the paramedic who tried to take care of him, but Kat needed it more. They finally had her Alex and Spencer had their daughter back, she couldn't die now, she had to be okay! She deserved a long happy life with her mom and dad.

She wasn't supposed to go from this world when her last days had been so cruel, when so much had been taken from her.

"We're nearly there hold in there...hey...hey sweetheart hello stay awake" the woman said and Morgan nearly jumped up, took Kat's hand and she looked at him.

"Hey Kat, hey it's me Morgan remember me? It's all going to be okay now we have you yeah, you're save sweetie you don't have to be scared anymore, your almost in the hospital your parents are on their way you hear? Your Mom is gong to be there and-...hey...no, no Kat, stay awake you have to stay awake! You hear me baby girl?!" he said and stared at her fluttering eyelids, she gave his hand a squeeze and then she let go and her hand fell. In the same moments the machines started to peep like crazy.

"Get away! Make room!" the woman said and hover over Kat injecting some meds but the machines didn't stop and Morgan grew more and more worried. Then suddenly they stopped and the doors opened.

"Fifteen year old girl, right leg broken, got nearly caught in an explosion, internal bleeding I started to lose her three minutes ago ventricular flutter, we need to hurry" they rushed her inside and he jogged after them all forgotten about the dizziness in his head.

They bough her into a room with more machines and lifter her onto a hospital bed and connected her to the machines, nearly as soon as they had done so the beeping started again this time even worse.

"Ventricular fibrillation! Defibrillator" they all started to run around and Morgan didn't quite understand then he knew what it meant as soon as they ripped the dress off and started to put the pads on her body, one just under her right shoulder and the other her left breast on her side.

"What is he still dong here? Get this man out now!" one doctor bellowed but he would let himself only be pushed out of the room so that he could watch through the window.

"Sir you need to-" a nurse tried to say but he interrupted her.

"You listen to me lady! This girl is the daughter of my colleagues and she was kidnapped, she went through the worst nightmare all on her own! And just when we found her her captor decided to blow himself up and make her mother believe her child died. I saved her and I promised her mom I wouldn't leave her alone, so when I'm not allowed to be in there, then I will stay right here until she is brought into surgery! You understand me?"

Morgan looked back in and saw that they stared to reanimate her and counted each time. "Hurry up now!...Clear!" One. "Nothing, Clear!" Two. "Come on don't do this. Clear!" Three. "You're not gonna die! Clear!" Four. "No fucking way, Clear!"Five. Through the glass he watched horrified how the straight line went over the monitor and listened to the permanent ear piercing beep tone.

"Come on Kat I know you're a fighter! Don't give up, you got out, you have been so brave! Come on please don't do this Kat, or I will tell everyone you like Nas!" he mumbled and then the permanent peeping stopped and Morgan wallowed the lump in his throat when he saw the waves on the monitor and heard the regular peeps and released the breath he didn't realize he had been holding.

He then watched how they rolled her out and around the corner of the hallway. "She's going into surgery?" he asked the nurse beside him who nodded in response.

"Yeah, I think she's going to make it...you are going to let me look at you?" she asked but he shook his head.

"No, I've had worse." Morgan said and walked through the doors he normally wouldn't have been allowed through.

"Morgan!" he looked up to see the other run towards him lead by Alex and Spencer.

"How's Kat?" Alex asked.

"They had to reanimate her, but she's in surgery right know, they think she has some internal bleeding but I don't know how bad" Morgan answered truthfully, then in the next second Alex had pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"You saved her. You nearly lost your life to save my girl, I can never ever thank you enough in my whole life for this Derek, I will always be in you debt, always." Alex said and for a moment he pulled her close before he gently pushed her away.

"You don't have to thank me Alex, never you hear? And you are not in my debt. You're family! Kat is family we do everything for each other and I want you to know that you're the mother of the strongest and bravest girl on this planet. She will recover from this, I know she will, because she has you and Spencer as her parents." Derek said and Alex nodded looking at Reid who pulled her in her arms and kissed her cheek.

Now all they could do was wait, it was now in the hands of the surgeons and Kat.

The waiting was nearly as nerve-racking as the last days combined, but Alex wouldn't give up on her daughter now, not now after all her little girl had went through, she was back with them and she would make it, she knew it.

Alex sat down next to Spencer and he took her hand in his, she didn't really know how she had deserved him in her life but she knew now more then ever that she would always be thankful for it, because without him she would've lost it a long time ago.

As the hours went by she looked at her friends, her family and spoke for the first time since the conversation with Morgan.

"I just want to thank you all...you all brought me my daughter back and...I can't even put into words how much that means to me, I don't know how I can ever thank you enough for what you did" she said and JJ sent her a small, kind smile.

"You don't need to thank us Alex, and you clearly don't need to make up for it like Morgan said she's family and no one hurts one of this family without punishment" she answered.

Then a doctor approached them. "Are you the family of Kathrin?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm her mother, how is my daughter?" Alex asked as she and Spencer got up.

"We were able to successful operate on your daughter, she is stable and will make a full recovery from her physical wounds. I'm not so sure about her mental wounds though, you should talk to a therapist as soon as she wakes up, I assume you know about her-?"

"Yes, we know...please can I see her?" Alex asked.

"Normally I would say no but we'll make an exception for you" he said and lead them to Kat room, Alex walked inside and stopped for a moment before she sat down at her daughter's bed taking her hand and pressing a long kiss to her forehead as new tears ran over her cheeks.

"I love you Kat, I swear it's all going to be okay someday...I love you so much and no matter what Spence and I will help you I promise. It's all going to be okay baby."

So finally Kat is saved but is she really going to recover from what happened? And is she really able to tell what happened? And what about Spencer, Alex and James?

The title was inspired by the song "Not About Angels" by Birdy! Maybe you listen to it while reading ;)

Please tell me if you liked the chapter!