A/N: Thank you all for continuing to read and for all the reviews! It means so much to hear from you, even though I admit I'm not really good at personally responding. :( I will do better! My goal is to post at least another chapter before Christmas-my family got a lot going on this holiday season, and I'm not sure I can do more than that. In the mean time, I hope you are enjoying the read. I still don't own Downton Abbey, and I still owe a lot to my beta...but any errors are all mine and not hers.

Anna had an ultrasound scheduled Thanksgiving morning and John willingly went with her, even if it was scheduled at 7 a.m. on one of the few days they both could have actually slept in. They'd been having daily sex for the last three days, and it was now time to check on the cyst on Anna's ovary that would soon become an egg.

Dr. Randolph had better news for them this time. Anna had not yet ovulated but likely would within the next few days. He told them that he would typically expect it to be at least three more days, but since she went so quickly last time, he thought she might actually ovulate as early as today. Because of that, he decided to go ahead and perform a clinical insemination while they were there. John and Anna had to return to the waiting room for a bit while the clinic prepared the sample John had left a month ago. Both of them were so excited at the prospect of becoming parents that they didn't mind. Sitting together on a loveseat watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the television, John reached for Anna's hand and squeezed it in support. Anna smiled at him and wrapped her fingers through his. They were still holding hands when the nurse came back for them twenty minutes later.

After the procedure was finished, Dr. Randolph told Anna to come back again in the morning and they would check again and potentially perform another insemination. He also told them to continue their home regimen and that he saw no reason why Anna shouldn't get pregnant this cycle. Anna's smile at this news was breathtaking, and in that moment John wanted more than anything to give her a child. He wanted to be the reason she was smiling.

They returned to Anna's condo together, but John announced that he wanted to swing by his house and pick up his mail from the past few days as well as check on the house in general. Anna stayed behind to work on the pumpkin pie she'd promised Cora she would bring for dinner.

"I'll just meet you at the Crawleys'," Anna told him as he gathered his dirty clothes in his duffel bag to take with him. "There's no use in you coming back here before we go. This will be done in an hour or so, and I'll head over." John tried not to feel hurt that she didn't want to go together. She'd explained to him the other night that she wasn't ready to tell Mary that he was fathering her baby, yet. Or maybe at all, he thought.

Just as his thought process was getting the better of him, he felt Anna's hand on his arm, and she stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. "Stop your brooding," she told him. "I'm not trying to avoid showing up with you, it's just silly for you to come back here first, logistically." He wasn't sure he believed her, but he gave her a half-smile.

"I'll see you at Rob's," he told her as he walked out her door. She stared at his retreating back wondering when they were going to be real with each other about their feelings.

"John's out back with Dad," Mary informed Anna as soon as she opened the door to Robert and Cora's Eastover estate. Anna rolled her eyes at Mary and stepped past her with the pie in her hands. While she was indeed excited to know where he was, she wasn't going to give Mary the satisfaction of knowing it.

"Well, I'm headed into the kitchen with this," she said, raising the pie. "Is everyone else here?"

"Sybil and Tom are on their way. So are Joe and Phyllis. Edith is out back with Dad and John, and Mom and I are finishing up dinner," Mary informed her as they both headed towards the kitchen.

"Hi, Cora," Anna stated sweetly as she sat her pie down on the island in the kitchen and walked towards her hostess with a hug. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

"You can take this glass of iced tea out to John," Cora answered. "He asked for it ten minutes ago but things got busy in here and I haven't gotten it out there yet."

"Sure, I'll be happy, to," Anna told her, reaching for the glass. Here we go, Anna thought, unsure how to play her relationship with John today. She realized she'd been guarding her heart from Mary; if she admitted to her friend that there was something going on between her and John, the world would know within hours. Mary would be so excited for her that she would want to scream from the rooftops that her best friend's college dreams were coming true. But what if they weren't?

On the other hand, John seemed a bit upset last night that she hadn't shared their arrangement with Mary. She didn't want to hurt him, but she truly had no idea where their real relationship stood. Once she was pregnant, would she see him? Oh, she figured he'd want to be there for ultrasounds and the birth and all - he'd all but told her he was going to be a hands-on-dad - but before the birth and after he'd played his part in the pregnancy, would she see him any more than she had a few months ago? She knew they were going to have to talk about this, but she wasn't looking forward to it. She was afraid she'd end up pregnant and heartbroken, and ignorant bliss seemed to be the lesser of the two evils at this point.

Stepping out onto Robert and Cora's back patio, Anna saw John lounging on a chaise while Robert sat opposite him in a wooden rocking chair. Regardless of her mixed-up emotions, she couldn't help but return John's smile when he saw her appear. Walking towards him, she held out the tea.

"This is for you," she told him. "Cora got busy in the kitchen and asked me to bring it to you." He reached up to take it from her, his fingers lingering against hers for a moment, sending shock waves through her arm.

"Thank you, Sweetheart," he told her as he took a sip of the drink. She blushed at his show of affection in front of Robert and Edith. He wasn't making figuring out her feelings any easier.

"You're welcome," she told him and headed back for the door. "I'm going to see if Cora needs any more help."

"Oh, stay," Anna heard Edith pipe up from the corner of the patio. "Mom and Mary have things under control."

"Well, let me check where she wants my pie, and then I'll try to come back out," Anna told her, not comfortable staying on the patio when there may be work to be done inside. Once she had returned to the kitchen, Edith couldn't resist asking John a question.

"What is up with you and Anna?" she pointed towards him. "There's some major sexual tension going on there." John nearly choked on his tea.

"Yeah, how'd your date go the other night?" Robert piped in. "The one I helped you plan."

"Cora helped me plan," John corrected Robert. "It went well, I think. I certainly enjoyed myself."

"You went on a date with Anna?" Edith asked incredulously. "I can't believe she fancies an old man like you," she teased.

"It is a wonder," he replied. And he wasn't sure that she did fancy him. Yes, everyone kept telling him that Anna had had a crush on him the whole time she was in college. Even she had pretty much admitted that, but no one had confirmed that she still wanted him. She truly seemed to enjoy being with him physically, but he knew what she was after - only what he could offer her. And he couldn't blame her. Even he knew he wasn't good enough for her. Which brought him full circle to wonder why she even wanted his baby, anyway. He quickly answered that question for himself; she wanted to help Declan.

"Oh, Uncle John, stop it," Edith ordered him. Apparently, it wasn't difficult for anyone to tell when he was brooding. "I was just teasing you! It's obvious to anyone who's been around you two over the last fifteen years that this was going to happen sooner or later. Can't you just be happy for once in your life?"

John tried to give her a smile, but it didn't quite make it to his eyes. He heard what she was saying, but his heart just couldn't believe it.

"So where do you stand with her?" Robert asked. "Do you consider her your girlfriend?"

"I don't know that she wants to be my girlfriend," John answered, truthfully. She wanted his baby, but that didn't mean that she wanted him.

Mary walked out on the patio with a mimosa just in time to hear John's last comment. Shutting the door behind her and taking a seat in the rocker next to her father, she stated, "Oh, come on, John. She's wanted to be your girlfriend since she was nineteen years old."

"So, you keep telling me, Mary, but I've not seen the evidence of that over the past dozen years. She's had several boyfriends and none of them have been me."

Just then Anna opened the patio door and took a step onto the deck. The group's conversation quieted as its subject appeared. "Well, don't let me kill the party," Anna joked as she found a chair next to Edith. "Looks like dinner will be ready as soon as the rest arrive," she updated them.

"Good," Robert replied. "I'm getting hungry and the smells coming from the kitchen are delicious."

"Yes, Mom's a great cook," Edith agreed. "I'm so glad her back is better, and she is able to throw the kind of party she loves."

"You mean we all love," Anna corrected her.

"Yes, indeed," Mary added. Just then the Bransons and Molesleys walked through the patio door together, the rest of the group cheering in welcome.

"Looks like the gang's all here," Robert proclaimed. "Let's get inside and carve the turkey!"

An hour or so later, the group was sitting around the formal dining table, passing food and sharing conversation. John sat between Mary and Anna, with Joseph on Anna's other side. Across the table was Edith, Sybil, Tom, and Phyllis, with Robert and Cora anchoring the table on the ends.

The group spent a lot of time playing catch-up as it was rare that they all had a chance to sit down and spend a day together. Cora was happy to tell everyone that she'd finished physical therapy for her back and was proclaimed to be "as good as new" by her surgeon. Joe and Phyllis had been married for several months now and were shopping for new living arrangements closer to Joseph's flower shop. Edith was still the travel editor at the Queen City Observer, and although she had a condo Uptown, she seemed to be traveling the world more than she was at home. Mary and Anna talked about their work and how well business was going. They were already booked solid for the Christmas and New Year season, not really having a break until after Valentine's Day. John admitted to now having taught at QCU for twenty years and, at Robert's insistence, promised a new book in the not too distant future. Robert talked of his band and the upcoming QCU Christmas Concert, ordering all his guests to be there for the show. Lastly, the Bransons gave their update.

Sybil and Tom had been married for just over a year and lived in a suburb just outside of town. She was a nurse at an outlying medical center and Tom owned his own car and tire shop. Robert had been against the union early on, feeling that Sybil could do much better than a high school dropout with a GED. Over time, though, it became clear how devoted Tom was to Sybil, and Cora helped Rob see that there was more to a man than his position in life.

"We have some news we'd like to share," Tom announced, looking towards Sybil and reaching for her hand. He then looked around the table, finding eight sets of eyes on him. "Next May, we're going to be parents."

Cora's gasp was audible, her hands flying to her mouth and her eyes brimming with happy tears. Robert dropped his fork, it clanking on his plate as he contemplated how he'd become old enough to have a grandchild. Edith wrapped her arm around Sybil, clearly excited for her younger sister and at the prospect of becoming an aunt, while Mary made a bit of a face and proclaimed that she hadn't seen that coming.

"It just happened," Sybil told them, smiling. "We weren't trying. We didn't even find out until last week."

Anna felt like she might be sick. She knew that she should be happy for her friend and congratulate the couple, but it was very difficult. Anna knew what she was supposed to do. She knew she should gush. But it felt like a knife had just been stabbed into her heart. She watched as Phyllis and Joe offered their best wishes. Anna thought John might have even said something, but she just couldn't muster up the strength to show the same enthusiasm.

Anna knew she'd only been attempting to get pregnant for a month and that she shouldn't be upset at this point, but when Sybil admitted that she and Tom hadn't even been trying for child, it was as if she'd been slapped across the face. John shot a sideways glance in her direction and read her less-than-thrilled expression. He reached under the table for her hand, giving her a firm squeeze. "It's your turn next," he whispered, trying to lighten her mood. She appreciated his support, but it didn't work. Thankfully, if anyone else noticed that Anna was unhappy, they didn't acknowledge it.

The rest of the afternoon was somber for Anna. She participated in the annual game of charades, but her heart wasn't in it. She kept telling herself she was being silly, but she just couldn't shake herself out of it.

By three o'clock she excused herself and gave everyone goodbye hugs, promising to see them soon. John held her a little closer and a little longer than the rest, and she sunk into his brawn for just a moment.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he asked so that only she could hear. She gently shook her head "no" and squeezed him tight one last time.

"I'll see you tonight, right?" she asked softly as she stepped from his embrace. He gave her a short nod, careful not to let the others see. She obviously still didn't want them to suspect there was anything between the two of them.

John stayed at the Crawleys' shooting the bull with Robert for several hours after Anna had gone. When he finally left, he pulled out his phone and called his mother. His mom had travelled several hours away to his brother's house for the holiday, but John had made his excuses not to go.

John had talked to his brother a few times since Jim had called to tell him about Declan's illness, but thankfully Jim had not mentioned a baby again. John toyed with the notion of telling his twin that he was trying for a child, but he didn't want to get Jim's hopes up. What if Anna didn't get pregnant? Or what if she didn't get pregnant in time? Or what if the baby wasn't a match? After all, nothing is harder to live with than false hope.

He decided he would wait until a pregnancy had been confirmed before he'd say anything to his brother, but he wondered if he should tell his mother. They had always been close and he felt like he was almost lying to her by not letting her in on his plans. At the same time, he was afraid she'd be disappointed in him for entering into such an arrangement with a woman he had no intentions of marrying. He knew his feelings for Anna were growing, but he still felt that he was no good at marriage. One failed attempt was more than enough for him.

In the end, John didn't tell his mother about his agreement with Anna and wrapped up his phone call just as he pulled into her condominium complex. He parked and texted Anna that he was there so she could let him in. When he made it to her door, he found it unlocked and Anna in the living room curled up in an armchair, her arms around her knees. She was melancholy, but the lamp light was shining on her in a way that stole John's breath. He sat across from her and gently began inquiring about her mood.

"Is everything alright?" he asked, knowing that she was a bit down and assuming he knew the reason why.

"It will be," she sighed, letting her legs go and putting her feet on the floor. "I am so ashamed for feeling horrible," she told him.

"Is this about Sybil's baby?" he asked, knowing deep down that it was.

"Yes," she sighed. "I wish it wasn't, and I know that I'm being irrational, but yes, it is." She paused to run her hands over her face, wringing them as she placed them back in her lap. "I know we've not been trying for long in the grand scheme of things, but they weren't trying at all. They've had sex longer and more often than us. The probability was in their favor. But that knowledge doesn't take that sting away." She looked up at John and he could see tears pooling in her eyes. "They weren't even trying, John. We were."

When her lip began wobbling he was done for. He pulled her from the chair and gathered her into his arms, pressing kisses to the top of her head as he let her break down against him. John wanted to say something meaningful. He wanted to take her hurt away. But all he could do was hold her. He would not pretend to understand her emotions; he'd learned long ago the futility of trying to rationalize women's feelings. But John also knew that Anna's distress was not going to help her cause. "It's okay, Anna. We'll keep trying. It's going to happen for us," he shushed her.

"It might not," she sobbed into his chest. "Mom couldn't have more kids," she reminded him.

"But she had you," he pointed out. "Listen," he said, shifting his hold on her so he could look down into her face. "I'm no doctor, but this stress can't be good for you or the chances of conceiving." He began rubbing her arms. "Dr. Randolph thinks it will work this time, remember?"

"But what if it doesn't?" she asked, looking as vulnerable as a child.

"Then we keep trying." She wiped her eyes and nodded, borrowing from his strength. He noticed the slight change in her demeanor and smiled. "It could have already happened, even. You are fertile right now, and we need not let someone else's happiness impinge on ours." A hint of a smile began to curve at her lips as she let his words sink in. Reaching for his hand, she laced her fingers through his and squeezed to let him know she appreciated his encouragement. Taking this as his cue, he tugged on her hand and led her down the hall.

"Let's go put a baby in you."

The two week wait was just as painful this time as it was last month. John had gone with her to see Dr. Randolph the day after Thanksgiving, and sure enough, Anna had ovulated. Dr. Randolph performed another insemination that day, and Anna and John had spent the night together that night. John then packed his bags and returned to his house the next day, leaving Anna with mixed feelings she wasn't ready to explore. On one hand, she was glad that time was passing and that she'd soon find out if she was pregnant. On the other hand, she missed John.

John texted her each day to see how she was feeling and make sure that she was okay. She'd called him one night just to talk because Mary had gone on and on about Sybil's pregnancy at work, and Anna just couldn't take it anymore. Mary even suggested that Sybil's baby be tested as a bone marrow match for John's nephew. Not that it was a bad idea, but it just rubbed salt into the wound caused by Sybil's pregnancy.

But today was the day. Today was the day that Anna would find out if she was pregnant. She stayed away from the internet this time and did not look for symptoms, trying to set herself up for minimal hurt if the test was negative again. She'd gone in for the blood test this morning, and she now was waiting not-so-patiently for the phone call with the results. She wasn't sure if she was dreading it or looking forward to it, and she wouldn't know the answer to that until she received the news of whether she was to be a mother or not.

Then it happened. The phone rang. Anna stared at the screen almost paralyzed and had to will herself to answer it. When the nurse gave her the results, the tears began flowing. Try as she might to control herself, it was as if a dam burst. She hung up with Dr. Randolph's office feeling an intense need to talk to John. But this time it needed to be in person. This time the nurse had said positive.