Chapter 14

Alpha opened his eye lids suddenly. His pupils dilated wildly and shifted in a slurred drug induced state. He thought he heard voices. They seemed to stretch if possible like silly taffy being pulled apart.

"…hhhhhhhhhheerrreee…dddrrrdddiiiinnnkkkk…tthhhhisssshhhhhh," The words broke off like a needle skipping off a record.

He felt pressure around his head and a liquid in his mouth. He fought feebly not knowing what was going on, not understanding anything.

Enemies he thought as he fought, but his arms were like lead weights and he could only see a harsh white light beating him down then splitting in a star pattern. He counted four. Four beams of light, or were they stars, or maybe they were really bright flashlights. They could be two sets of car head lights, he didn't really know. But he was determined to find out just as soon as he had a talk with his legs which weren't responding properly.

More voices, Were they in his head? He couldn't tell. More liquid. He fought but was immobilized.

Grunting he tried his best to free himself to no avail. You can lead a horse to water, but can't make them drink.

Alpha spit out the liquid and bit into the air wildly.

How did I get here, Where was here. What do I remember….I remember pain. What happened am I finally dead. If this was dead then I am sorely disappointed. I was promised virgins…was it 72 or 42…..doesn't matter I don't see any. 0 was not the agreed upon number. I will need to take this up with God when I meet him.

He could feel his mind leisurely going from fractured to whole. The little slivers of broken pieces began to join and fill out the broken picture in his mind. He could start to remember. There was a blast. What asshole blew him up? Then nothing, now this. Wait I am the asshole, am I an asshole, do I look like an asshole?

He felt the needle enter his arm.

O God, please no, I'm being tortured again. Not again. Kill me…Kill me now. I concede 0 virgins is fine.

His mind faded out again to a song playing in his head.

Rain drops keep fallin' on my head, and just like the guy whose feet are to big for his bed, Nothin' seems to fit. Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin' …

The sterile white room which John had called home days before now housed another hurt man. The lone figure with him in it stood head turning in constant intervals at the same angles over and over and over again. The drone of the beeping was the same.

Eventually someone broke the crushing monotony making the room come to life once again. It was Sarah Connor who created the action as she strode into the room. "It's time. Come on he won't even know you were gone."

"He will," Emily softly spoke back her voice hinting at sadness. "Like John he has an acute sense of presence." She clarified for the human.

Sarah had started to turn, but stopped and waited for an acknowledgment that they were leaving.

"Come on, now Little Miss."

A frown crossed Emily's face. "I thought I knew my father…I was under the impression he cared for his soldiers, but…he hasn't even bothered to visit him. Even for a moment."

Sarah rolled her eyes, "that is exactly what he is trying to do now so come on move your little metal ass. I am sure he will eventually he just is a busy boy." Sarah almost laughed at calling John a boy.

He will always be my little boy.

John stood with poise looking over the crowd of men that formed together in a tight semi circle around the mess hall table he was atop. His face was stern and did not show a hint of the terrible exhaustion that was ever looming over him. His heart was racing and his nerves were going nuts, but he did not show that either. Sarah, Emily, Cameron, Ms. Weaver, Mr. Murch, Mr. Ellison, and John Henry stood behind him showing their support for their leader. Even Savanna was present holding John Henry and Ms. Weaver's hands in silence. John had everyone collect at the mess hall this morning so that he could finally talk to every person that had been recruited. After the attack he felt it was time to let these men get to know him. They had just lost four of their comrades and he felt their pain, he will always feel their pain. It was the burden of leadership. After the clamoring lowered to a buzz John began.

The air was thick with anticipation.

"For those of you have not meet me personally, my name is John Connor. It is an honor to finally meet all of you face to face. I know that some of you are standing there wondering what you have gotten yourselves into, if this is all even real."

John's voice echoed with everyone's eyes on him.

"Well it is real. You wouldn't be here if the machines that had recruited you didn't do at least a decent job of getting it across what we are fighting against. Who I am. What is at stake. Humanity, the human race. Our very existence. And I am sure that each one of you have your own personal reasons for being here."

John shifted his weight from leg to leg as he gave himself a moment to lock eyes with as many people as possible before continuing on. He saw strength, resolve, and willingness in most. Understanding in all.

"The loss of those four soldiers and the injuring of your commander is just a microcosm of the war that lies ahead. I wish I could say that all of you will survive it, but that would just be a lie. I will however promise to do everything in my power to win this war. And war is death."

John paused taking in a large breath.

"Most of you here are soldiers, some are not. A few are scientists, a few are mechanics, a couple are even botanists. In the coming weeks months and years this will still hold true as more will follow in your footsteps…following your trail that each one of you have blazed."

John saw a few heads nod in agreement.

"You get the picture. However each one of you that were recruited are the same in one way. We are all human. I point this out for a good reason."

"I have heard rumors that some of you view me as a prophet or savior. I am not. I am just a person…like you, a person who will do anything to stop Judgment Day and if it comes to pass…to win the war with the machines. I was told by a person very close to me before he died that in the future the people viewed me more as a machine than man. That they were looking to me to show that I was human like them."

Lifting up his shirt he revealed the bandages that were wrapped around his gunshot wound. He also had several heavily discolored bruises. John's hardened face grew even stronger.

"Well I am a man, just a man. I want you to know that I too…am human. I have bled for this cause just as our brothers in arms did last night."

John removed the wrappings as he spoke to the crowd.

"Though I still live, each time someone dies for this cause under my commend makes me hurt just like it does each and every one of you. However we cannot dwell over their deaths with despair but hope that we will succeed where they have failed. I will work every day to accomplish our goals, but know this…I have nothing to prove to any of you now or ever. Because for my entire life I have and will fight this war laying everything on the line to win. I will not bore you all with details but I have lived my entire life on the run from SkyNet I have put myself and everyone that I care for in the line of fire for this war already and lost almost everything time and time again. Like most people everyone I care for dies because of this war. Yet…mine have died far sooner that they should have because of me, who I am."

John finished removing the wrappings and exposed the irritated gunshot wound to the group.

"There will be things that happen which will make you question me, my judgment, and my humanity."

People began to look slightly skeptical.

"For example among us now there are machines other than the three which recruited all of you. This fact was held from you all until now and may bother you not just that it was not told to you, but that there are more here."

John waved his hand in dismissal, "We will learn to coexist. Of that I am sure. Our survival depends on it. That is why we are all here to train and learn from each other."

John clasped his hands behind his back, "If any of you have become disenfranchised with these new friends of ours already then you have failed your first lesson already gentlemen and ladies. That lesson is trust. You need to trust me and the cyborgs you don't even know in this facility. That they will not just up and go bad one day."

He stayed at ease but removed one hand form his back and swept it out to the crowd.

"And the infiltrator that attacked last night was not even one of these. It was one of the cyborgs who recruited you all. Many of you came to trust him and now surly doubt your judgment. And yet I still trust each one of you including the machines. Because without trust we have nothing, without trust we will not thrive. There will be setbacks, but we will persevere."

John drank some of his bottle of water near his feet before setting it back down and continuing.

"Anyone can be a traitor a machine, a human, everyone. Betrayal is not unique to either set. It will be here throughout the entire war and you have to make a decision now whether you can accept that. We can't sit around eating ourselves from the inside out considering everyone a traitor and if we do we will never win. We have to learn to trust each other and work together. That means both man and machine."

A load murmur sweep through the group.

"Quiet" A man shouted from the middle of the group before John was able to say anything causing the room to go still once again.

John continued unfazed, "I am not advocating blind trust, but earned trust. And ladies and gents, "John turned looking strait into John Henry's eyes, "Both sides will earn each other's trust."

Both men nodded in understanding to each other. John then turned back to address the crowd again.

"In this room now some of you and later many others will question why we will have the machines assist us, why they will be so heavily involved. In the end it's because it will be what helps us win the war and virtually no one will like it. People will tolerate it only because I am the one who demands it. But this then brings us to the idea that people will choose to ask next. How far should we take it?"

John's voice rose with power. It spilled out booming in the room.

"But the question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?"

John pointed out to his audience growing in passion but lower in tone, "You are going to be tempted to blame what has happened and what will happened on all machines, maybe on particular people. I understand your temptation to do this and you will find many people will choose this route. But your PC is about as responsible as that terminator was for last night. The difference is the potential of the terminator but they are both slaves to programming."

John shook his head, "Don't blame the machine that killed them. If you have to blame someone or something blame SkyNet who created them and gave them their orders. Just remember that it is not the machines that cause Judgment day it is SkyNet. And that fucker is going to pay."

A voice could be heard from the back as people started clapping, "You God damn right sir."

This was followed by woops and cheers.

Gingerly placing his shirt back on John gave the crowd a reassuring smile. "Now let's all get some chow before your training starts."

John was exhausted. He hadn't slept all night and now the adrenaline from the speech was wearing off. He sat across from Cameron who appeared to be ignoring him as best she could while searching for possible threats.

Boy is she stubborn

Sitting next to him was his mother. Unlike the other two Cameron had opted to forgo food this morning not caring if she blended in but no one seemed to notice anyway. Why would they the food was mediocre anyhow. John wouldn't have too if he hadn't felt so weak from lack of food on top of all the other problems he was having. They were in the middle of the expansive room surrounded by the people John had just finished giving his speech to. Conversations raged all around them as everyone enjoyed their meals and company. They seemed receptive to what he had tried to get across as near as he could tell. Then again no one ever pleases everyone. He was sure this time was no exception.

Even after the talk the majority of the group appeared to be intimidated by John. John did not like that, but was sure they had their reasons.

Sarah nudged John with her elbow breaking him from his sleep deprived trance. "You gave a great speech. I can't believe that was my little boy up there. I guess you're finally growing up. You've come pretty far…I proud of you John. I don't think a single person fell asleep." She joked with him, but he didn't reciprocate the smile.

"Thanks mom," was his entire response as he continued to move the food around on his plate with his fork.

Cameron scanned John again for the fifth time in two minutes. He was sleep deprived, and had several other ailments that needed tending too. No matter her feelings at this moment John's safety and wellbeing would always come first for her.

"John you need to sleep." Cameron said in a plain voice, face stale. Cameron had to cancel five separate consecutive signals to reach out and hold John's hand.

"Tin Miss is right John you need your sleep, these people will understand."

"I know, but there is still so much to do."

"Which will be here when you wake up. There is nothing that can't wait a few hours John." Sarah returned to her motherly role.

"Fine," John breathed out the words, the fight left him for now.

As John stood he wobbled a bit.

Cameron and Sarah escorted John back to his room putting him to bed. Sarah left the room for her own and then returned with a book she had been reading. She entered the room finding Cameron kissing the forehead of a sleeping John Connor. Cameron had been so focused on John she failed to notice the door opening.

Sarah wanted to be disgusted, but the way Cameron was doing it made her doubt her own revulsion.

"What did he do?"

Cameron raised her head up quickly providing Sarah a small innocent look back as the response.

"Don't play dumb. You've been ignoring him all morning and then as soon as he is asleep you're kissing him."

Cameron said nothing and did not move from her position on the side of the king sized bed.

"Well whatever he did don't push him to hard. I think everything the past couple of days is starting to really get to him."

Cameron once again said nothing and Sarah sat down in a chair opening the book she had retrieved.

"It's taking everything I have just to not kill Derek so you will excuse me if I seem a little short on patience today."

Sarah watched over the top of her book that she was reading seeing Cameron staring down at the man and then lightly reposition some of his hair from his forehead. She noted the cyborg doing it with the lightest touch possible.

"Sarah I require some time to complete a task. Will you be alright if I left for a short while?"

The two women locked eyes.

"No problem Tin Miss."

Cameron took one final minute to stare at the sleeping man she loved before leaving the room. She didn't want to leave him alone again, but there would be time together later after he had rested. Not to mention she trusted he would be in good hands with Sarah there.

Derek didn't hear the door open or close, but he did hear the USP's hammer pull back. Raising his head up he felt a headache pierce his temple and his vision was blurry. Shaking his head in an attempt to wish away the hangover created from last night he was finally greeted to a semi clear sight of Cameron standing on the other side of the table from him with her pistol pointed at her head. Seeing this he jerked back slightly knocking over a few of the empty beer bottles at his feet which last night he had so diligently stacked by Derek into a pyramid, fashioned out of boredom.

Cameron tried to fire the pistol, but was locked in a debate inside her own CPU. Pointing it at his head would have to do for now.

Years of fighting SkyNet allowed him to ignore the fear he currently was feeling and ask the questions which were racking his brain at the moment.

"Jesus…is John OK? What happened? What…do you need any help?" Derek recognized the last question was useless, but he threw it out there anyway.

"John is fine," was all Cameron gave back.

"Thank God," Derek breathed a sigh of relief.

There was a pregnant pause between the two as Derek stared at the gun.

"Why do you care?" Cameron prodded as she betrayed no emotion in her voice or face.

"I care. I care a lot." His defense seemed clumsy and inadequate, but what else could he say. Searching for an explanation for everything he dove into the deep end of his mind.

"I wish I could take it back you know, I just want a second chance. A chance to do things right whatever that is exactly I don't know."

Derek chuckled shaking his head ever so subtly. "It is a funny thing wanting nothing more than to have the man you betrayed trust you, to respect you. You never realize how important things like that matter until they are taken from you. I made a mistake. One that cost John and you your lives and I would give anything to take it back. That is what I am or was trying to do before this…"

Derek's eyes fell to the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry is inadequate."

"You don't think I know that…It wasn't supposed to be this way. I thought I would just help until…"

"You had a chance to kill us again." Cameron bit into his words betraying her anger ever so slightly.

"Until I could die for him…for both of you. Then maybe that would be a start."

"It would be an end. Not your first."

"What?"

"You had previously been sent back by John."

"What happened?" Derek asked almost wishing he had not asked as soon as it came out.

"You died."

"How."

"A nine millimeter round to the temple."

"You?"

"No."

"Well at least I got the dying part right."

"Yes you died."

Derek sat is silence taking what she had said in.

Derek shifted his head up staring into Cameron's unblinking brown eyes. "Alpha was the one who arranged for me to be here. As payment I was to deliver two messages. The first was to tell you what I thought of you. He said it would help me understand how to get across to others like me. Others who disapprove of the machines involvement."

Pausing she said nothing so he decided to continue.

"I hate the machines…I disagreed with their use, and I loathed you for a long time for obvious reasons. I thought you were manipulating John and I didn't trust you. But dammit did you make John Connor the happiest man alive. In the middle of the war all you had to do was walk into the room and it was as if nothing could touch him. But that worked both ways. Anyway, what I think of you…"

Derek coughed his next words, "I think you're one of the best things that ever happened to John Connor. You…you're not just a machine."

These words caught Cameron completely off guard.

Cameron recovered though and finally after another long silence asked the obvious question.

"And the second."

"John knows when people deserve a second chance. After all he gave you one…"

Cameron tilted her head. She replaced the hammer on the USP and slid the weapon behind her back walking out of the room leaving a stunned Derek behind.

John was running as fast as he could. He felt his muscles beg for oxygen as he pushed himself harder. Everything seemed to be tilted like he was running at a 45 degree angle. The jungle was thick and he had no clue where he was going, but for some reason he trusted himself that he was moving in the right direction. He watched the greens and browns flash by as he crashed through the area causing cuts and bruises to form on his skin.

Limbs smacked him as he barreled with reckless abandon through some brush coming into a large and lush green meadow. The lake in the middle sparkled with the final light of the day washing over all. The Sun warmed his face yet he still felt cold.

He approached the three figures he now spotted by the water. He smiled as he saw Cameron at a distance playing with a preteen girl and boy. John enjoyed the notion that the girl looked strikingly similar to Emily only younger. They were laughing as they played an exciting game of tag. It seemed Cameron was losing to the fearsome twosome. As John approached he felt his feet weight him down. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach them. He was in quicksand. He knew everything was wrong and yet his eyes told him nothing was wrong. He looked down at solid ground. He reached out to no avail.

"Cameron…Cameron help…help me please."

John lost his breath screaming for her, for them to hear, but they didn't seem to hear him or even look in his direction. He wasn't in any danger, but everything felt wrong somehow. Was he being irrational? He knew now he was not.

John watched as six atomic bombs fell onto the surrounding area killing everyone and everything. They burned the entire meadow. The bombs incinerated the three people by the lake so badly their flesh fell of their bones. The two children dropped to the ground as ash and Cameron stood still her Coltan body watching it happen.

As the fallout wave hit him he screamed her name again. In the heavy dust and new brown black cloudy darkness he felt her metal fingers wrap around his still extended hand.

John burst from his dream so hard he lurched forward. As he did this he screamed out in pain as his injury fought back at the action. Out of some weird instinct it came out not as a yelp but as a suppressed gasp of a word, "Cameron!!"

He was drenched in a cold sweat his body shaking for no good reason. He was almost ashamed at himself for feeling so weak at this moment.

The room was pitch black. The sound of waves that he had fallen asleep to was now replaced by a waterfall and birds chirping. He was completely disoriented and it took him a few moments to catch his breath. He had been panting and had not even noticed or cared.

Another few moments passed and he become conscious of the hand gripping his, firm but gentle. He wasn't sure how long it had been there.

When he awoke, before, just now?

In the darkness he couldn't see the owner of the hand, but knew it was Cameron. Though they had only been intimate in this sort of way for a very short time period, he knew it was her. It was like her soul spoke to him through the air or their touch. It was a touching and sentimental thought. John just chastised himself for thinking like such a priss. They were connected that was all that mattered. It kept him from breaking down. Instead of having to put up a wall and lock it out or go and beat on something John was able to let it flow out of him like a river.

Not saying anything John took his free hand and stabbed into the darkness wildly searching for her trying to make sure that his instincts were truly right, that she was really here. He connected with her hip and grabbed it tightly. She did not balk at the rough grab like a human would and allowed herself to be pulled in to the hug. She let go his hand and he wrapped her up seizing fist full pieces of her shirt inadvertently testing the strength of the garment. His gripping hands held with unnatural tightness as he placed the side of his face against her chest. The pressure of the hug would have suffocated a normal girl. Cameron felt no pain only pleasure from the contact. She had no air to lose or brittle bones to break. He didn't hear a heart or her lungs only the sounds of the nonexistent jungle around them. One ear muffled one clear as day. This did not bother him in the slightest.

He was still shaking and Cameron lifted her free arms to hold onto John's sweaty head and hair. She ran her fingers through it feeling it slide around like silk. Her hands massaged his scallop with mechanical precision. Every so often she would deviate though testing a new move or pressure, logging the results for a later date. She also toyed with his hair playfully. He felt the hands roam down his neck causing goose bumps which she loved to create. It was one of her guilty pleasures next to having John explain things to her even if she already understood it. Moving her hands away allowed her the time to arch her neck and plant a reassuring kiss onto the top of his head. She scanned the contact tasting high levels of sodium chloride, salt.

"Never leave me again." John said firmly, but she could tell by the faintest of inflections which only people extremely close to him would be able to discern that there was pain behind it. Not necessary caused by their fight, but most likely from what he had woken up from moments ago.

His grip finally, after several minutes, relaxed on her back allowing the stressed shirt to recede. John's eyes had acclimated to the darkness and he turned his head up from her chest so he could make out her figure. His feeling of weakness begin to fade.

Radiant as always, my queen.

She stepped back without a word and only a whimper of protest from John as he did not understand her needing to break from him.

I guess we are still at odds.

She returned in moments sliding elegantly into the bed her naked flesh against his drenched clothes catching him off guard for a moment. She didn't care about his condition as she pressed herself firmly to him in a hot embrace being sure to be ever mindful of his injury. With care she helped him disrobe. The entire time they softly kissed savoring each other's taste. Cameron tasted mint, John tasted cherry. Their mouths danced a tune which was becoming all too familiar for them in the short time they had been together. A sign that they were truly becoming a single unit.

Unlike the first time where Cameron led the two through the steps of lovemaking John took charge forcefully griping Cameron's body and dictating his intent. Cameron smirked ever so slightly at the dominance John was portraying. John commanded her through touch as both never spoke a word their mouths working tirelessly on each other to increase the others arousal. She happily bent to his will vocalizing her pleasure for him to enjoy and hear. These were the spoils of his assault. Not truly necessary, but far more enjoyable than the alternative. He needed to feel strong and in control. She was going to give it to him. Whatever he needed or desired she would do or anticipate because he was her entire existence. John extended their lovemaking for as long as possible. He never became comfortable and insisted on exploring Cameron's cybernetic body far more fully this time. The "newness" never seemed to wear off as he secretly challenged himself to cover her entire body in kisses before the end of their session. The pleasure finally took him nevertheless and he climaxed without a sound until the very end.

Afterward he stayed at her side allowing himself another brief moment like before to feel weakness as he was held by his protector. He was drenched in sweat again, but this time it was from physical exertion.

Cameron was pleasantly surprised to find that makeup sex was as grand as the literature described.

John moved is hand to palm her toned stomach and kissed her along the jaw until he reached her ear.

Whispering John still let out his voice in a teasing tone, "If you get pregnant I hope it's a boy." He chuckled at the impossibility. She lightly smiled, but did not understand the joke. She just wanted him to stay happy so refrained from explaining to him that she could not get pregnant. She was almost completely sure he knew that fact.

She was confused when this did not work and she felt him tense up. His heart rate increased and his smile faded.

Still in the crook of her next he spoke, "I would name him Kyle…after my father."

Cameron did not have to be a genius to understand who he was referring to. Her scan of possible male candidates for his father was short and there was only one named Kyle. A facial mapping confirmed it.

John had entrusted her with a secret she knew to be one of his most precious and she was both happy and sad at this. She had pushed him into it with her questioning of him, but she understood that he would not have told her ultimately if he did not feel it was the right thing for him to do. She now understood why he said Derek Reese could not be killed. Why Derek Reese dying was so hard on John. Why it would be again no matter what he had done to John.

Determined to bring him back from his lamenting she pulled him into a series of passionate kisses. They both smiled at each other, and with time, she successfully elicited him to an aroused state again. Pausing she kissed his cheek, "Then we will have to build a boy. I believe a middle designation of Reese would be appropriate."