A/N: I think I'm writing faster than ya'll can review. Dunno if that's a good or bad thing xD Anyway, there's probably only gonna be one more chapter after this, maybe two. But there will be a one shot sequel after this. So be on the lookout. And you know, I really hardly ever shipped these two together in fics before this, but now I want to more. I've totally been corrupted. If you need someone to thank/blame... *points to serenelystrange*

CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Coming Down

Parker is alone when she wakes up.

She sits up straight in her bed and wipes the sleep from her eyes furiously with the back of her hands, just trying to process what's going on and why she feels so… abandoned. What's going on? Where is she? This isn't her bed, these aren't her sheets. Oh god, why the hell does her head hurt so badly? She puts her head in her hands and winces in pain, as her temples are tender to the touch. She lets go and blinks again, wipes her eyes again, and tries to focus.

New York, she's in New York.

God she hates waking up in the morning, half the time she's always confused, at least for a good solid minute. This is worse though, because after touching her temples she knows the only thing that could have caused it: amphetamines. She doesn't even have to remember to know what she did, and why she did it. It'll all come back to her as she wakes up more, but for now, she needs to find… Hardison.

"Hardison?" she asks loudly, slowly climbing out of her bed. Her bare feet touch the cold floor and she shivers, wrapping her arms around herself. She grabs her sweatshirt at the end of the bed and slips it on over her head, and goes on a hunt for socks. Finding them under the bed of all places, she puts them on and leaves the bedroom.

But Hardison isn't there. He isn't anywhere in the hotel suite. "Hardison?" she asks again, even though she knows he won't be able to hear her since he clearly isn't anywhere to be found.

Then she remembers last night, remembers all of last night, and sits down heavily on the couch. She remembers him asking him not to leave her… but he's gone. Why would he just…?

Parker brings her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and laying her head down against them. She sighs heavily. She's probably scared him now. Great. She blames Mickey Mouse for this, or maybe just the mops. Maybe even the hippos in tutus… but she knows it was her. Her and her big stupid fat mouth that she can never keep shut.

Wasn't it her, the one who was scared? Now she's gone and turned it all around so she scares him. Why does she always do this? It's like she has this part of her that feels like she need to push everyone away. She's a big crazy, right?

Not really. Her head might not work right but she's not insane. She knows right and wrong, bad and good. Maybe she does play everything up a little just so people… so no one can ever get close to her, ever hurt her again.

But here she is, hurting herself now. There's a flaw in her subconscious master plan, clearly.

She starts feeling this squeezing sensation in her chest, and she knows what that means. But she doesn't like it, doesn't want to do it, so she jumps off of the couch in a flash and runs into the bedroom. Packing… she needs to pack. She needs to leave. She needs to not get hurt everyday. If he's really left her, he'll still be back. The team, the jobs, the whatever. He's young, like her, but he's better with people. Needs them more. And she doesn't, and she doesn't want to see him every day. So she'll leave.

Leaving. Now. Socks, shoes, clothes, bag, toothbrush. Leaving.

She's barely even thinking anymore, except she is. Her thoughts are going too fast for her to truly process them so she just focuses on her task. She's throwing things into her bag, quicker than she thinks she ever has before. She finds her shoes and puts them on, almost in some kind of frantic, desperate rush. She needs to leave. She needs to leave now.

She grabs her bag and rushes out of the bedroom, only to be met with the front door opening. She stops, slightly out of breath from how fast she was going… and then her bag drops to the floor, her grip slipping. Hardison looks up at her, then down at the bag, and then back up to her again.

"Where are you going?" he asks her. "You're not…?" but he doesn't finish his sentence, he doesn't have to. She already knows the end of it. He closes the door behind him and stands in front of it, his little way of saying no, but Parker doesn't understand. She thought he left her.

Then she cries, just out of nowhere, breaks down and sobs. She knew the feeling was there before, but she was trying to stop it so much that when it just burst out of her it was like an explosion. Hardison's eyes go wide before he rushes over to her, wrapping his arms around her. "Shhh… hey, Parker… what's wrong? Are you… oh."

Parker doesn't know why he said 'oh,' but she can't think very much, all she can do is cry. Her knees give way and she collapses against him, holding onto his shirt as she buries her head in his chest. His grip on her tightens as he tries to hold her up, but instead gives up and just picks her up, holding her in his arms, almost cradling her.

"Hey, hey Parker? Shh… okay? It's okay. You're just coming down, just the after depression, okay? X uses up a lot of your endorphins, remember? Come on, shh… you're gonna be alright, girl. Promise…" Hardison whispers in her ear, holding her tight. She's still sobbing though, not knowing why she never remembered this. Why she never remembered how bad it hurt.

Probably because she never wants to remember. Selective memory.

He brings her back into the bedroom and lays her on the bed before crawling in beside her. She lays her head on his chest and is trying to calm down, finally. She feels so stupid, she should have remembered. Maybe not when she was six, but now she can remember the day after she did it with Justine. How they fought with each other after that, both accusing the other of using them. Angry, depressed, not listening to anything besides their own feelings, even though it was a lie.

It was real though, of course it was real. She's read a lot, knows the damn pills make your brain bleed and yet makes you happy, which she never understood. But it takes away the happiness so quickly too, leaving nothing but sadness. But no matter how real, how scientific and chemical the reasons are, it's still a lie. It's just what happens, a lie for a lie. No balance, just chaos.

She's already so unbalanced, and this just makes it worse. So happy, happier than everyone else when she's on it. But sadder than all the rest when she's coming down. So sad, so alone, so angry, so scared, and so paranoid.

Everything has its price.

Parker is getting quieter now, just lying against Hardison, still holding onto him. He's stroking her hair and still whispering in her ear, hushing her and telling her everything's going to be alright. When she's finally silent they lay there for awhile, neither of them saying a word.

"I thought you left," Parker admits to him in a whisper. She doesn't even know if he can hear her she admits it so softly, but he does.

"I'll never leave you," he tells her, and kisses the top of her head. Parker closes her eyes at the feeling for a moment, taking in a deep breath.

Then she sits up, slowly. She turns to look at him, her prince, and she knows she must looks so vulnerable just by how he looks back at her. He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and gives her a small smile. But she's still so sad, and it sucks so badly. She knows she shouldn't be, that everything she thought was apparently irrational and paranoid, but yet its still there. Somewhere in the back of her mind, haunting her. Consequences.

Parker wants to try to feel good again, so she leans in and kisses him softly on the cheek. Then her head dips down as she captures his lips with her own, and her eyes flutter closed. She feels the heat of his mouth against her lips and she parts them to let him in. She lets out a little moan of contentment, just so softly and barely that it was almost not a sound at all, but maybe just a thought that she could hear outside of her own head. She feels his hand take hers and she laces their fingers together as she leans further into him, needing to feel more, needing to feel what he can give her… what she can give to him.

They break for a second and her lips fall to his neck, tasting his bittersweet flesh against her tongue. His grip on her hand tightens and she can hear him let out one short labored breath and she smiles against his skin. "Parker… are you…?" he tries to ask, but she nips at the base of his neck lightly, cutting him off.

"Just kissing," she tells him softly, and she can feel him nod. As her lips trail back up his neck, she can feel him shake slightly beneath her. It was barely noticeable, but she felt it. It makes her smile again, knowing that she's the one that's doing that to him.

"Just kissing," he repeats softly, his eyes closed, before her lips take his again. He's pushing into her more though this time, finally gaining a sense of boldness from knowing what she wants. She's slowly climbing on top of him, and when his arms wrap around her to pull her closer she gasps softly in his mouth.

He breaks the kiss, "Too much?" he asks, worried again, like always. But that's what she likes about him; he doesn't want to push her too far. She opens her eyes and looks at him, and an amused smile breaks out on her face.

"Please be quiet," she tells him, amusement still tinted in her voice, before she crashes her lips to his again, pushing his back completely against the headboard. His grip on her hips tighten and she gasps again, a little louder now. Their kissing is becoming more passionate, their breathing beginning to become labored. Now it's his turn to have his lips fall downwards, and as he takes the sensitive flesh of her neck into his mouth she hears herself moan softly, "Alec…"

But then he stops, and he looks up at her, breathing heavy. "You never call me Alec," he says.

She tries to get control back over her own breathing before she smiles a bit. "Yeah, I know." She doesn't explain it any more than that, frankly because she doesn't know how to. It just came out of her mouth. But she purses her lips together and looks down. "We should stop now though," she tells him. She doesn't want it to go too far.

"Right," Hardison replies, shaking himself out of his haze. He clears his throat and looks down, furrowing his eyebrows. "I didn't…?"

"No, it was good," she tells him quickly, knowing what he's thinking. "It was… good. I liked it."

"Good," Hardison says, nodding again, as if to reassure himself. "Very good then… I guess. Nice. I appreciated it."

Parker smirks as she climbs off of him, amused by him saying he 'appreciated it', like it was some kind of favor. "You're welcome," she says, not wanting to correct him because she thinks it's cute.

She settles in next to him, and they both sit there for a moment, still holding hands. Then she remembers something. "Wait… where were you?" she asks, looking over at him.

"What?" he asks, not comprehending what she's talking about for a moment, before he says, "Oh. Right. The airline fixed the reservation problem, and the only way I could override it was to get into the computers main system at the airport. I didn't want to wake you. Nate called anyway; they have the money and are on their way back on Boston. Eliot took a bit of a beating from some gang who was trying to get to the money first, but Sophie's taking care of him."

Parker sat up straighter, "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, you know Eliot. Always comes out on top." Then there was a pause, and Hardison slaps his hand to his forehead. "That didn't mean to come out as dirty as it sounded."

Parker smirks, "I didn't even think about it until you just said something."

"Great, what's that say about me?" Hardison replies and gives an overdramatic sigh and a shake of his head. Parker giggles, because she has a feeling, but she won't tell him. She doesn't think his poor brain could handle it right now. She doesn't know exactly what she thinks about that, but it doesn't matter. At least not right now.

"Anyway," Hardison says, trying to redirect the conversation back to normal. "Nate says he already has a plan to get the mark arrested. Not sure what it is since they were boarding when he called, but we're in the clear. Our flight leaves at seven."

"Tonight?" Parker asks, looking at him with her eyes wide.

Hardison looks at her a bit funny and says, "Yeah… why?"

"But I… I…" Parker tries to say, but can't spit it out. Her thoughts are racing too fast again for her to process them correctly. She hates when this happens.

"You what, sweetie?" Hardison asks her, looking at her a bit worried. But that snaps her back into normal, if only for a second.

"You called me sweetie," Parker says, redirecting her focus. Hardison looks a bit embarrassed and shrugs, but she's smiling. Then she can remember, but she doesn't know if she wants to tell him.

"I need to do something before we leave," she tells him, all she can tell him right now.

"What?"

"I made a promise I have to keep," she explains, only doesn't give any more answers than that because inside she's terrified. So scared, so worried, but she made a promise, and she keeps her promises.

"Okay," Hardison says, letting her not tell him if she doesn't want to. "Do you want me to… come with you?" he asks.

"Um…" Parker starts, trying to think. "No," she says, out of immediate reaction. But then she thinks, he has to come with her, he's part of the promise. "I mean yes," she says.

"Was that a year or a no?" he asks, confused now.

"Yes, definitely yes," she says, and nods once, assuring herself. "You have to come. I mean you can come, if you want." She's backtracking and confusing herself again, because she doesn't want him to know why she's bringing him. Not yet anyway, so she doesn't want to seem too eager, or have the worry show up in her voice too much.

She doesn't know how good of a job she's doing, but regardless, because he's her prince, because he's always so good to her, he tells her, "I'll come with you, if you want me. Wherever you want to go, I'll be with you."

TBC…