The training camp came to an end and things went back to normal for Bokuto and I. Well, if you could call what we had normal. One night though, I had a dream.
In that dream, I had my human body back. Bokuto's arms were wrapped around me and I felt safe. But from the very beginning, I knew it was only a dream. I couldn't talk to him as perfectly as I had then and had it been real, I'd have been too flustered. I knew myself too well to let myself believe that such a beautiful dream could ever have even the slightest hope of becoming reality.
Sometime later that day, I saw a girl talking to Bokuto. She was a third year like him, but that was about all I knew. They were too far from me for me to hear, but maybe it was better that I didn't. Just seeing him with another girl felt like a dull stick being stabbed into my heart. It's selfish, I know, but I'd always wanted to talk to him like she was now.
That might have been the first time in my life that I had ever felt jealous. The way the two were talking and smiling like they were having a great time... I wished I could do that that easy. But no, I'd always run away from him and now that I was finally close to him, I still couldn't talk to him.
As I waited for him, I thought back to when I was human. I could remember the first time I'd met Bokuto. As I'd turned a corner in the hall, he'd been running in the direction I'd been coming from. Neither of us had seen the other until we'd collided. Luckily he'd caught me before I could fall.
When I looked up, I was met with a handsome face. At the mere sight of him, my heart had fluttered in a way it never had before. It caught me so off guard that when he'd asked if I was alright, I could barely stutter out an answer before I ran away from him. I was probably blushing like crazy too.
It wasn't that moment that made me fall for him though. If anything, it's what made me notice him. Over time, I began to see him and his unique personality. The way he was always so passionate about the things he liked; the way he always seemed so happy; but most of all, I think I noticed the way he could just be himself no matter who he was with. I admired that about him.
With the help I got from my friend Akaashi, I learned all sorts of things about Bokuto. Though with as many questions as I'd asked him, Akaashi had quickly picked up on my developing feelings and asked if I was going to tell him how I felt. Of course, I was still unable to get anywhere near him without my heart going crazy on me. And so my first year of high school ended and Bokuto never learned a thing about my feelings.
Second year I thought that maybe things would have been different, but nothing had changed. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't get any closer to him. Eventually it started to get to me, making me feeling a bit depressed about it from time to time. And then one night, a careless wish was made and the next thing I knew, I was an owl and relying on my crush for survival. Thinking about it now, it all sounds like something out of a shoujo manga.
Finally the girl who'd been talking to Bokuto had left and he returned to me with a smile on his face. I wanted to ask what had happened with the girl, but when you can't speak, that's not easy. It was probably better I didn't know anyway.
If that girl had confessed her love for him and he'd returned her feelings, I'm not sure I could have handled that. And I know it's horrible and selfish of me, but there's a part of my heart that wants him to be only mine; even though deep down I know, he'd be better off forgetting he ever knew me and moving on. Of course, that didn't mean that it didn't break my heart.