Happy Valentine's Day, lovely readers! I consider all of you my Valentines, so please consider this chapter my Valentine's gift to you!
For those of you who haven't already seen, I would like to let you know that to celebrate my love of Valentine's Day, earlier this morning I published a little Klaroline Valentine's Day love story called Give Me Love Like Her (the title comes from Klaroline's song, of course). I really loved writing it, and I hope you love reading it!
I'm also participating in the Klaroline Valentine Gift Exchange on Archive of Our Own (Have I mentioned that I really love Valentine's Day?), so after authors are revealed on Friday, I'll move my entry to this site as well so that everyone can read it on whatever platform they enjoy most.
Thank you all very much for your patience while I worked on my Valentine's Day projects! Now that those have been finished and posted, my only current writing project is this story.
Thank you so much for all of your lovely reviews on the last chapter; I loved reading them! To the reviewer who cried while reading the last chapter, if it makes you feel better, I cried while writing the last chapter. Another reviewer speculated that it might be Valentine's Day in the story as well as in the real world, so I wanted to clarify that, believe it or not, it's still June in the story. It's the very end of June, which means that, unfortunately, Klaus and Caroline are fighting on my birthday (which of course would happen to me), and we move into July this chapter. I also love that more than one of you said you missed the twins, who I've really come to love over the course of writing this story and I hope you love them, too, especially since they return to New Orleans for good this chapter!(:
I really appreciate everyone who said that they thought Caroline's feelings regarding Hayley and Hope were accurate. What was most important to me to get across was that Caroline was hurt that the one person who really seemed to love her and put her first, chose someone else, even if it was just momentary and even though there were no real feelings involved. I'm not trying to preach, I promise, I just think that Caroline feels that while sex does not equal love, and you don't have to love someone to have sex with them; if you are in love with someone, you probably shouldn't have sex with someone else.
In response to comments regarding Caroline moving out and finding her own place to live, there are a couple of reasons why I haven't written that. When Caroline first arrived in New Orleans, she didn't know for sure how long she would be staying, so it was easier for everyone for her to stay as a guest in the Mikaelsons' house. After it became clear that the move to New Orleans was permanent, the twins got really attached to Hope, and with everything else going on, Caroline didn't have the heart to separate them from their friend. Now all of the Mikaelsons consider Caroline a member of the family, and they like that she and the girls live with them. Also, Caroline living with them puts her on equal footing with Hayley, and I think Caroline moving out would feel like a surrender. I just don't like the image of Klaus, Hayley and Hope living together in the mansion and Caroline and the twins being forced to leave and live in a little townhouse or something somewhere else. Plus house hunting is a time-consuming process, even before you factor in hybrid bodyguards and siphon witch children—it could be months, even over a year before Caroline found a house that would meet her high standards. Lastly, when it comes to safety, there's nowhere safer for Caroline and her daughters than wherever Klaus is, whether they're on speaking terms at the moment or not.
Thank you to everyone who guessed who it is that tells Caroline they love her in this chapter! Some people thought it would be Hope and Klaus, some people thought it would be Rebekah and Klaus, I saw one guess for Freya and Klaus (thank you for including your reasoning—I think you're right, that Caroline's and Freya's similar openness to love and friendship form the foundation of their relationship) and one cynical soul didn't want to take for granted that Klaus would be one of them and guessed Hope and Rebekah. I've never inspired cynicism before, so that was a surprise for me, as I'm very much a naïve, optimistic, rose-colored-glasses-wearing person. Plus, Valentine's Day is full of love and hearts and pink! No cynicism on Valentine's Day! Thanks for all of your guesses, and you'll see very soon that some of you guessed correctly… (:
So here we are at Chapter Fourteen. This is my favorite chapter in the story so far, and it reminds me of Chapter Six (Klaus and Caroline's reunion), which was my favorite chapter before I wrote this one.
Caroline gets to complete the circle of a line she told Klaus on the show years ago, and I think it's my favorite thing she's said in this story. There are also quite a few other "quotes" (sort of) from the show, and as usual, I don't own them.
On a sort of similar note, I'm sending extra virtual love to everyone who catches my two (relatively subtle) references to my forever favorite show, The West Wing.
The last section of this chapter is just comic relief to hopefully make up for the end of the previous section, so I apologize to any of you who are heartbroken that you don't get to see what happened next.
(this chapter is over 10,000 words, which is crazy! Have fun!)
Happy Valentine's Day, happy reading—and you're welcome(:
There was a drawing waiting for Caroline when she woke up the next morning.
It had been placed on her nightstand while she slept, and it was a testament to just how physically and emotionally exhausted Caroline had been that her vampire reflexes hadn't reacted at all to the intrusion.
The picture was of Caroline and Hope, laughing at something someone outside the frame had said.
Caroline picked up the piece of paper and looked at it closely. She knew that it had been Klaus who had drawn this for her, but she didn't know why he thought that giving her drawings was the way to win her affection when it hadn't worked in the past.
Caroline could even guess why he had chosen to draw this particular scene, but she didn't know why he thought that would help his cause. Drawing Caroline and Hope together, showing Caroline that she liked Hope and enjoyed spending time with her, wasn't necessary, or even constructive to getting Caroline to forgive Klaus. Caroline knew that she liked Hope. Caroline would even go so far as to say that she loved Hope. What she didn't love was Hope's mother, and the circumstances of Hope's conception. She loved the beautiful, intelligent, curious, polite, strong-willed, artistic, determined little girl that Klaus and Hayley had created. She just didn't love that Klaus had created a baby with Hayley when he'd told her with his silence that she'd been correct in her conclusion that he was in love with her, and it hurt to know that Klaus's love for her wasn't enough for her to be the only girl he wanted, even if that meant he had to wait for her.
Leaving the drawing on the nightstand, Caroline quickly dressed in an outfit that screamed "I don't care what I look like today"—a pair of loose-fitting black jeans, a plain grey sweatshirt and pink fuzzy socks—and went downstairs.
When Caroline entered the dining room, she noticed that unlike most mornings, there was a variety of human breakfast foods laid out on the table, including a giant muffin basket.
"Whoa, someone went all out," Caroline marveled.
"Someone? I think it's pretty obvious who did this," Bonnie said, enjoying her own breakfast. Hayley and Hope sat across from her, each with a full plate of bacon and eggs and a blueberry muffin. Aside from a brief glare, Caroline didn't acknowledge the other mother, but she did smile warmly at Hope. She was making a concerted effort to make sure that Hope wasn't involved in Caroline's fights with either of her parents, so as to not make Hope uncomfortable or put any unnecessary strain on her friendship with the twins.
"Yes, well, it will all be for nothing unless there's…" Caroline trailed off, looking in the basket. "Victory is mine!" she cheered, pulling out a cranberry muffin.
"So are you considering forgiving Klaus now that you've got your cranberry muffin? By the way, I will never understand your preference for cranberry," Bonnie critiqued.
"I like cranberry! Cranberries remind me of cranberry sauce, which reminds me of Thanksgiving, which despite its association with white settlers' long-running and widespread mistreatment of Native Americans, I love and appreciate for its original intention of reserving one day a year to simply be grateful for all of the good things in your life," Caroline explained.
"Please just eat your muffin," Bonnie sighed.
From the other end of the table, Rebekah and Freya shook their heads.
"I thought Caroline and Hayley were going to be fighting today," Rebekah whined. "You need to start wearing hats or something so that the rest of us know for sure. The silent treatment isn't nearly as entertaining."
"Why did you think I would be fighting with Hayley?" Caroline asked.
"You live in a house full of vampires now, Caroline. You can't have an argument inside the house without other people hearing it," Rebekah answered.
"Wait, back up. Why do you think Caroline is mad at me, and why do you think I'm mad at her?" Hayley asked, clearly trying to determine how much of their fight Rebekah had heard and reported to Klaus.
Rebekah shot a quick look at Hope.
"It's that bad?" Hayley asked.
Rebekah just nodded.
"Find out anything interesting from listening in on our conversation?" Caroline asked sarcastically.
"Yes," Rebekah replied, ignoring Caroline's sarcasm. "I'm pleased that you're taking ownership of your feelings and insisting that Nik acknowledge them."
"Where is Klaus?" Caroline asked. "I wouldn't have guessed that the Mikaelsons subscribed to the 'breakfast is the most important meal of the day' theory, but it's strange that he's not here."
"He left already," Freya responded. "And I think he took Elijah with him."
Hope finished her breakfast and scampered off, but Hayley remained at the table.
"Okay, she's gone. Why are we mad at each other?" Hayley repeated.
"It shouldn't be too hard for you to figure out, just think of all of the insensitive things you said yesterday," Rebekah said.
Hayley just looked at her blankly.
Rebekah let out an exasperated sigh.
"You repeatedly gave Caroline the impression that you, Klaus, and Hope are your own superior subset of the Mikaelson family, and that Caroline is not allowed to interact with it in anyway, as she is not a werewolf with special powers and a royal title," Rebekah explained. "Not to mention the fact that the previous day you betrayed her and her children as part of an ultimately useless effort to allow werewolves to enter the city after you stubbornly ignored all of us when we told you that no one wants that."
Bonnie looked surprised and insulted on her friend's behalf, but didn't say anything, not wanting to get embroiled in Mikaelson family drama, but Caroline appreciated her silent support, and made a mental note to fill her in later.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to mark my territory like that," Hayley said, and Caroline could practically see her sigh of relief when Rebekah didn't mention their argument. "That was a wolf joke," she added when no one laughed.
Hayley was too relieved to be suspicious, but Caroline was surprised that Rebekah seemed to have not listened to their argument, especially since she'd referenced the conversation that had immediately preceded it. Had Rebekah stopped listening when Hayley said she was leaving, and missed the fight that had followed when Caroline's biting remark had prompted her to stay? It seemed unlikely, but Caroline couldn't think of a reason why Rebekah would pretend not to have heard what the vicious accusations Hayley had thrown at Caroline when explaining why she thought Caroline would have been angry at Hayley. Plus, a fight between Caroline and Hayley was the sort of drama that would send the entire house into a tailspin, and no one had said anything about it, either the previous day or that morning. Considering Rebekah's penchant for eavesdropping, the odds of no one listening in and the odds of Rebekah not listening in were similarly improbable. Rebekah had practically told Caroline at the safe house that she was pretty much always listening in on everyone's conversations, so why hadn't she listened to this one, or why was she pretending that she hadn't?
"It's fine, Hayley," Caroline replied. "Hayley and I may not be best friends after the events of the last few days, but we're not fighting either. And even if we were, I wouldn't want any of you or the girls in the middle of it. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm not even mad at Rebekah for eavesdropping."
"We'd still love you even if you were mad," Freya chimed in. Rebekah nodded emphatically in agreement.
Hayley made a strange noise that sounded like she was choking.
"Well, I guess I should only speak for myself," Freya said, assuming that Hayley resented being included in her profession of love for Caroline. "I love you, Caroline, whether you're mad at us or not. In my experience, people usually get the maddest at the people they love most, because they care about them so much."
"I love you, too, Freya, and I appreciate you saying that, but I'm not mad, I promise," Caroline insisted.
Rebekah's expression made clear she didn't believe her, but she refrained from commenting.
"So none of you know where Klaus is," Caroline tried to steer the conversation back to her original question.
"He's probably buying you presents," Rebekah speculated. "Knowing Nik, he spent all last night brooding, and now he's determined to make it up to you."
"It's more likely that he's avoiding me, but I appreciate your optimism," Caroline said.
"You don't know that," Rebekah insisted, refusing to let Caroline's attitude sway her.
While Caroline would have certainly preferred for Rebekah to have been right, Klaus didn't come home with any gifts for her. He didn't even speak to her.
{ }
Two weeks later, nothing had changed. Every morning, a new drawing would be waiting for Caroline, but for the rest of the day, Klaus would ignore her.
The twins had come back two days earlier, and while their presence hadn't changed Klaus's behavior towards her, Caroline was glad that Klaus hadn't changed his behavior towards them.
That morning, the drawing Caroline had received was of her holding each of the twins' hands. It had taken Caroline a second to place the scene, but when she saw the shadow of the staircase behind them, she realized that Klaus had drawn the three of them as he'd seen them when they came to rescue him.
And that was when Caroline snapped.
She had driven over a thousand miles, with her children, to save him.
She'd helped to revive his four siblings, one of whom she'd never met and another who'd been lying dead in her best friend's kitchen the last time she'd seen him.
She'd planned a party in a week, with no idea how many people would be in attendance, just because he'd asked her to.
She'd joined a supernatural council tasked with restoring order to New Orleans.
And she'd been happy to do all of those things, many of which had benefitted her as well. It was just that, Caroline reasoned to herself, after all she'd done for him, it didn't feel like too much to ask for him to merely acknowledge her feelings in return.
Klaus Mikaelson had turned Caroline Forbes's life upside-down, inside-out, completely topsy-turvy from the moment that Katherine Pierce had decided to include Caroline in her plan to earn her freedom from Klaus. Since that day, it seemed, everything Caroline had done had related back to Klaus in some way, whether it was participating in plots to kill him, distracting him, spurning his advances, or asking him for favors.
The Caroline who had hated Klaus before she'd even met him because of what he planned to do to Elena, the Caroline who had told Tyler that she was sure Klaus was incapable of real feelings, the Caroline who had vehemently insisted that Klaus was a terrible person because of the terrible things he'd done—she was gone. That Caroline had grown up. She'd come to terms with what she was, she'd had to kill to survive, she'd experienced loss, grief, heartbreak, and betrayal. She'd become a mother.
Her priorities had changed. She would no longer be content with relationships and friendships that clipped her wings and kept her stuck on the ground when she knew now that she wanted to be surrounded by people who wanted to help her fly.
The friends she'd made in New Orleans fit those criteria. Klaus had offered to show her the world and everything it had to offer, several times, but he never really counted as a friend, did he? Rebekah often talked about her love of the fashion, art, culture, and history of her favorite cities in Europe: Paris, Milan, London, Madrid—and those were just her very favorites. Elijah recounted the governments and empires he had seen come in to power and then lose it, rise and then fall. Kol frequently reminisced about his adventures all over the world, regaling them with stories about parties he had attended and famous people he had known. Even Bonnie, the center of the Venn diagram made up of two circles representing Caroline's old life in Mystic Falls and her new life in New Orleans, had a wanderlust that evaded Elena, the Salvatores, Matt, Alaric, and all of their parents, who had all been content to live in Mystic Falls all their lives and never see anything more of the world.
In Mystic Falls, her friends had kept her grounded. Reminded her that what she was wasn't normal, and that she needed to hide it. They'd encouraged her to play it safe and to live as human a life as possible.
That was what she'd sought in her relationship with Stefan, was it not? They'd been friends, he made her feel safe, and they could help each other control their vampire natures.
But Caroline was tired of controlling her vampire nature, of hiding what she was and being ashamed of herself. She wanted to be proud of who and what she was the way the Mikaelsons were, the way Freya and Bonnie were proud to be witches, the way Hayley was proud to be a werewolf. She wanted to spend her time with people who accepted and even celebrated her the way she was.
What she'd really wanted was Elena's relationship with Stefan. She wanted the all-consuming, unconditional, epic love that Stefan and Elena had shared; that was so important and powerful that it overcame every challenge that tried to stand in its way. Even when Stefan's humanity was turned off, his love for Elena was still so much a part of him that he could feel it, and act on it, even when he couldn't feel anything except for bloodlust.
Caroline should have known that a love like that wouldn't just vanish when Elena chose Damon.
Even if Caroline had made Stefan love her, he would never love her as much as he loved Elena.
Caroline and Stefan would have had a safe, ordinary small-town life. They would have been content, happy even. They would have watched the girls grow up, Stefan would have had to deal with the insufferable guilt he felt from all of the atrocities he'd committed as a vampire, and Caroline would have pretended not to be a vampire as much as she could to make him feel better. Damon would continue doing whatever he could to try to protect and revive Elena, and Stefan would continue to support everything Damon did. It would have been easy, to settle for third place on Stefan's priority list, to tolerate that small-town life.
But it wasn't what Caroline wanted.
Caroline wanted wings. Caroline wanted the world.
She wanted to make a wish at the Trevi Fountain, and kiss the love of her life at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and eat beignets while watching the Mardi Gras parade. She wanted views that would make her heart stop and take her breath away.
She wanted to travel the world with someone who would fall in love with her as she fell in love with the world, who would make her feel like every landmark and attraction they saw had been created solely for her to fall in love with, who would make every stop on their journey feel like home, whose love for her would tint all of her memories with a warm, rosy glow, who would nestle into her heart and make his home there, until his home was wherever she was and her home was with him, no matter how far from home they were.
She wanted the same things she'd wanted since her eighteenth birthday, when Klaus had saved her life and told her that she could have the whole world if that was what she wanted.
Caroline wasn't proud of how insecure she was around Klaus, but she'd settled for being the last resort before and she wanted to make sure she would be his first choice this time. She didn't think that it was so out of the question for her to be wary about starting a romantic relationship with the most powerful creature on the planet when every other relationship she'd ever had had failed, and she blamed herself for not being able to make those relationships work. She wouldn't survive it if Klaus, like every other boyfriend she'd ever had, realized that she wasn't enough for him. All she wanted was for him to make one last romantic overture to prove how much he loved her.
Instead of increasing his efforts to win her over after their argument, Klaus had retreated. She hadn't thought it would be so difficult for Klaus to acknowledge that she'd been hurt when she'd found out that Klaus had gotten Hayley pregnant while he was quite brazenly pursuing her.
Could this be the moment that Klaus finally decided that she wasn't worth the effort?
After all that she had put him through, all of the hoops that she had made him jump through for years, she wouldn't be surprised if she'd asked too much and finally caused Klaus to give up on her. She couldn't blame him; she'd taken him for granted, and now he was finally putting an end to her shamelessly taking advantage of his feelings for her.
She'd spent so much time being upset over what he'd done when they weren't together, and pushing him away because of it, that she'd managed to ruin any chance they had of actually being together.
Caroline shook herself out of her tirade of self-loathing.
He had promised her forever, he didn't get to give up after one fight.
He wouldn't have kept leaving her drawings, starting the day after they'd fought, if he didn't still care.
It was time to move forward, and not continue using the past as an excuse not to embrace the future.
Caroline took a deep breath and stood up.
She had a confession to make.
{ }
Lizzie giggled as she twirled, watching her pink tulle skirt spin out around her.
Dizzy, she stumbled and caught herself by putting her hands on Klaus's knees. Then, with all the resilience of a young child, she stood back up and scampered away.
Rebekah was forcing the girls to stage a little fashion show for her, modeling the clothes she and Klaus had bought for them before the twins had gone back to Mystic Falls. So all three girls were currently skipping around the courtyard while Rebekah appraised their outfits, and Klaus was being forced to watch.
The universe must have a very cruel sense of humor, Klaus thought, to give him—a man who had manipulated, bedded, used, and killed as many women as he had over his life—three little girls. This must be his punishment, a way of luring out the empathy he'd never used as he carelessly removed everyone and everything standing in the way of what he wanted. Surely there was no more fitting retribution for all the harm he'd done than setting these three beautiful, precious little girls in his path, making him fall in love with them, so that he would gladly and easily rip out the heart of anyone who dared to insult Hope, who made Josie cry, who so much as touched a golden hair on Lizzie's head, so that he would know what all of the loved ones of the people he had hurt felt like.
To his dismay (and to his surprise that he was dismayed), the twins weren't actually Klaus's children, but they were still his, in a way. Their mother had trusted him, and him alone, to take care of them and keep them safe when she was in trouble and running from danger. He wasn't their father, but he would be whatever they needed him to be.
He loved Lizzie and Josie, just as much as he loved Hope. Caroline laughed at how all three girls had him wrapped around their little fingers, and though Klaus had been tempted to tell her that she shouldn't laugh, because she did, too, she was right. There was nothing he wouldn't do for the four of them, and the thought of them hurt in any way made him feel sick. Caroline was already frozen in time at seventeen; if he could, he would keep their three little girls from getting any older than they were now, because the idea of them growing up and wanting to take on the world on their own terrified him.
Lizzie was prompting Josie and Hope to spin with her. Josie complied easily, her red skirt fanning out and brushing the hem of Lizzie's. Hope, stubborn as both her parents, resisted, a sullen statue of red hair and purple dress, until something in Lizzie and Josie's infectious giggles made her want to play along. Only once it was her idea to join in did she participate.
Hope would be dangerous when she got older; she had Hayley's bark and Klaus's bite. She had a fiery temper to match her fiery red hair, though she wasn't as quick to anger as either of her parents were. She was loyal, protective, and defensive of the people she cared about. She was creative, curious, persistent, stubborn, strong, and determined; if the witches hadn't been able to prove Hope was his child and he still had his doubts when she was born, Hope's personality certainly proved that she was a Mikaelson.
Klaus turned his attention to the other girls.
Lizzie was full of happiness and light in a way that Klaus associated with Caroline. She was a very sweet, lovely, angelic little girl; always kind and polite. She was remarkably intuitive and sensitive for her age and could easily pick up on the emotions of those around her, and she was compassionate and empathetic enough to want to try to help them feel better. She was emotional and talkative; clearly subscribing to Caroline's theory that talking about one's feelings was the best way acknowledge, understand, and resolve them.
Josie fit neatly between the other two girls as the peacemaker and happy medium, and though she might sometimes be momentarily overlooked because of Hope and Lizzie's bolder personalities, their little trio wouldn't work without her. She was just as polite and kind as her twin, but she was more reserved. She was smart and devoted to her family and friends. She clung to Freya, wanting to learn more about her magic, and she fascinated Kol with her seriousness, discipline, and commitment to her craft at such a young age.
As far as Klaus was concerned, the girls may not be sisters, but they did belong together. Lizzie and Josie would be left a little vulnerable without Hope's stubborn, protective leadership, Josie and Hope would be left a little melancholy without Lizzie's sweetness and optimism, and Hope and Lizzie would be left a little disjointed without Josie's focus.
All three girls weren't his daughters, but he wanted them all to be his family.
But Caroline apparently wasn't so sure.
He knew that Caroline must have some feelings for him or she wouldn't have stayed with him, in his house, in New Orleans all this time. He knew that as upset as she was over the circumstances of his daughter's birth, Caroline really did adore Hope. He knew that Caroline must know how he felt about her, how much he wanted to be with her.
He'd never made any secret of how much he cared about her, even as she played the distraction, he still followed after her, panting like a desperate dog in search of a treat. Every time he'd been angry with her, for taking advantage of his feelings for her, or for plotting against him with her friends, with one toss of her blonde hair, with one sweet smile, he'd been hers all over again. Eventually he'd stopped fooling himself and admitted that he had been hers since he'd first saw her in that chemistry lab in the high school, and he would always be hers.
When she'd said that she knew he was in love with her, part of him was horrified that he'd been so obvious, but part of him wondered what had taken her so long to figure it out. No one had ever stunned him the way Caroline had; no one had ever challenged him and inspired him and made him want to be good so that he would be worthy of her the way Caroline had; and no one had ever taken hold of his heart the way Caroline had. Of course, at that moment, he wasn't even sure how right she'd been, since if he really loved her, how could he have hurt her the way he did?
He heard muffled, half-hearted protests as Rebekah ordered the girls to go change into different outfits. They came back a few minutes later in slightly different dresses in similar colors.
Klaus never felt quite as powerless as he did around Caroline. There was genuinely nothing else he could do that he hadn't already done to convince her that he wanted to be with her. He couldn't remove Hayley from his life, and he couldn't make Caroline not be hurt by her role in his life.
He was quite disgusted with himself that, as Caroline had wisely pointed out, he hadn't ever really stopped to consider that his actions had inadvertently hurt Caroline. He'd only seen his own perspective: he couldn't be with Caroline, so he was with someone else. Someone who was willing, and who didn't mean anything to him. He'd explained it away to himself, justified it by saying that Caroline shouldn't get a say in what he did when she kept rejecting him and remained in a relationship with someone else.
He should have known that feelings didn't work like that.
Whether they were in a relationship or not, he was still the only person in Caroline's life who treated her like she was special, worthy, deserving… and he'd squandered that on a one-night-stand he'd regretted almost immediately afterward.
Then he'd been so stupid as to make it sound as if his very, very brief physical attraction to Hayley (which was certainly enhanced by copious amounts of alcohol and Hayley's reminder that neither of them could be with the person they actually wanted to be with) was more important than his feelings for Caroline. She'd already been hurt by his dalliance with Hayley, then he had to go and hurt her more by giving her the impression that it was far more important to him than it actually was.
So now he was keeping his distance, because he didn't trust himself not to hurt her again in a clumsy attempt to make amends. He left her the drawings every morning to remind her that he was thinking of her, but until she was ready to forgive him of her own volition, he was going to keep his distance for her sake.
If only his enemies could see him now, he mused, the Original Hybrid Klaus Mikaelson walking on eggshells because of a baby vampire.
She was worth it.
He glanced up again to see Hope, Josie, and Lizzie still playing in the courtyard.
They were worth it. Perhaps love wasn't such a great weakness after all.
{ }
When Caroline came downstairs and entered the courtyard to see Klaus smiling as he watched the three girls play, she almost lost her nerve. She didn't want to interrupt such a precious moment.
She took a quick step backwards, hiding in the shadows so that they wouldn't notice her. The girls wouldn't have seen or heard her, and Klaus was too focused on Hope, Lizzie, and Josie to use his vampire senses to find out who had come downstairs.
Then she decided that even if she was too nervous to resolve her and Klaus's relationship issues for them, she had to do it for their daughters.
Hope had adopted Lizzie and Josie as her sisters just as the adult Mikaelsons had adopted them as honorary nieces. The three girls were inseparable, they were best friends. They played together every day and color coordinated their outfits. Hope had cried when the twins had left.
In the three of them, Caroline saw herself, Bonnie, and Elena. Three friends who had claimed each other as sisters, and who supported each other through all of the ups and downs of the supernatural world. Which of the three of them would grow up to be beautiful, beloved Elena? Which would be powerful, fierce Bonnie? And which would be Caroline, forever just not quite as good as the other two?
Caroline wouldn't let that happen. She would tell all three of them, every day, how special and beautiful and smart and powerful and loved they are.
And she knew that Hayley would do the same with Hope. Hayley and the Mikaelsons would never let Hope feel as insecure and unloved as Caroline had felt, would never let her go a day without hearing how strong and powerful and beautiful and amazing she was. Caroline and Hayley may never have been close friends, and they possibly never would be, but they did have a unique bond as mothers of very special supernatural children. Caroline wouldn't easily forgive Hayley's betrayal, but she had made up her mind that she would relinquish her hurt over Hayley being the mother of Klaus's child. Though Caroline would never be overjoyed that Klaus and Hayley had a daughter together, she was starting to come to terms with the fact that she could accept it, however reluctantly, and try to at least be civil with Hayley for their daughters' sake, and love Hope, and be with Klaus.
A little girl's cry brought Caroline back to Earth. Lizzie had tripped over an uneven cobblestone in the courtyard and fallen. Caroline didn't rush over to help her up, knowing that, based on her experiences with her daughter, Lizzie was more annoyed that she'd fallen and gotten her dress dirty than she was actually hurt. Lizzie's 'in genuine pain' scream was different than the noise she'd just made.
Klaus, however, either didn't know that or didn't care, because he immediately leapt into action and was kneeling at her side in an instant. If Klaus had his way, nothing would ever hurt or offend or annoy his precious little angel.
"What's wrong, little angel?" he soothed, wiping her tears and scooping her up in his arms. Lizzie flung her arms tightly around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.
It still warmed Caroline's heart to see Klaus comforting her children and referring to them by affectionate terms of endearment. The sweet, unique pet names also had the added advantage of giving each of the girls their own sense of identity.
Lizzie was always angel, sweetheart, little lady, Goldilocks, or sometimes princess; Josie got all of the traditional food and flower pet names: honey, pumpkin, cupcake, sugar plum, sweet pea; Hope's were more personalized, both to Hope and to the person giving her the nickname: Klaus called her his littlest wolf or his little wolf princess, Caroline called her little mermaid, and Kol called her little red.
Caroline had worried about how the girls would feel about Klaus and his family, but it was clear that the twins adored the Mikaelsons and the Mikaelsons adored the twins. Regardless of what happened between her and Klaus, Caroline was confident that he and his family would always welcome the girls.
All of the Mikaelsons loved the twins, but none more than Klaus. Caroline had known long before she'd ever seen Klaus with his daughter that Klaus was capable of love, but it was still heartwarming to see him finally stop viewing love as a weakness and admit to loving not just his daughter, but her daughters as well. In this moment of emotional turmoil, Caroline felt close to tears watching Klaus be so openly affectionate with Lizzie, spinning her in circles to make her laugh.
The moment he met them, Klaus added the twins to the short list of people that he loved, and once someone was on that list, they were on it for good. Caroline knew from her own experience that Klaus's heart wasn't a fickle thing, and once he gave it away, he would never ask for it back. She also knew from her own experience that Klaus would do anything for the people he loved, whether it was keeping them in coffins so that they would always be safe, or giving up revenge on an enemy just because they'd asked him to.
Caroline had no more excuses. She could no longer hide behind worrying about the girls' reactions, or mourning her relationship with Stefan, or her own insecurities. It all came down to two simple questions: did she love Klaus, and did she want to be with him.
And as Klaus turned around, still holding Lizzie and murmuring words of comfort in her ear, their eyes met, and Caroline knew what the answer to both of her questions was.
{ }
Caroline approached Klaus, who immediately set Lizzie down and told her to go play with the other girls. Lizzie gave him a sad little pout that could melt the hardest of hearts, and though usually Klaus fell for it, today he was standing firm.
"It looks like your mother needs to talk to me, sweetheart, and I'm sure it's important. Please go play with Hope and Josie, and I'll be back as soon as we're finished," Klaus promised.
Lizzie reluctantly toddled off, leaving Caroline and Klaus in a face-off.
"I do need to talk to you," Caroline broke the silence.
"All right, then," Klaus responded, leading them into his study and closing the door behind him. "What is it you would like to talk about?"
"I owe you an apology."
Whatever Klaus had been expecting Caroline to say, that wasn't it. His eyes widened, clearly surprised.
"Caroline," Klaus started.
"No, please, just let me say this," Caroline said.
Klaus nodded and gestured for her to continue.
"I am sorry for pushing you away because of my own insecurities, and for continuing to be mad about you and Hayley, even though it's in the past so there's really no use dwelling on it, and for using my relationship with Stefan and my worries about the girls as excuses to keep you at arm's length. I shouldn't have said that you didn't love me, because even if you don't, I shouldn't presume to know how you feel, and I shouldn't have acted like you loving me was a given, or something that I was entitled to. If it's any consolation, I feel like a horrible person for using you, and taking advantage of your feelings for me, and taking you for granted," Caroline rushed out all in one breath.
Klaus's posture softened after Caroline finished her apology.
"Caroline, love, you have every right to feel however you feel, whether it's useful or not," Klaus said. "You don't have to apologize for being cautious, or wary, or scared, or whatever you might feel towards me. You are not a horrible person, and if you have taken advantage of me, which I don't believe you have, it is only because I have allowed you to do so."
"So you aren't mad at me?" Caroline asked.
"No, I'm not mad at you," Klaus confirmed.
"Then why have you been avoiding me for the last two weeks?" Caroline demanded.
Klaus looked embarrassed.
"I was ashamed of myself for some of the things that I said to you the last time we spoke," Klaus confessed. " I didn't want to risk hurting you even more than I already had, so I decided to give you space and wait until you felt comfortable approaching me."
"Which would explain the drawings," Caroline said.
"I left drawings for you every day to reassure you that you were never far from my thoughts," Klaus confirmed.
"What was it you said that you were so ashamed of?" Caroline asked.
"I made a comment about how I had acted on my fleeting physical attraction to Hayley, which was aided by alcohol and a mutual feeling of rejection from the people we really wanted to be with, in spite of my feelings for you. At the time, I justified this to myself by insisting that I was not beholden to you in any way, as much as I might like to be, and that you were in a relationship with someone else, so why should I not have liaisons with whomever I wanted? I have since realized that you would have interpreted such an assertion as a conclusion about your own importance, and that you might have thought that I was saying that you were not worth waiting for, which of course could not be further from the truth. However, you asked me to consider my actions from your perspective, and upon reflection, I can see how my impulsive comment, combined with the fact that Hayley is living in this house, could have made you feel insecure and would not have inspired your confidence in my ability to remain faithful to you," Klaus explained.
Caroline was stunned by how seriously he had taken her request to consider her feelings and the amount of thought he had put into this. Though he was saying everything she wanted to hear, it didn't feel like the slick lines he'd offered in the past when he was trying to win her over. Caroline could tell that he honestly meant what he was saying.
"Oh," Caroline blinked rapidly and swallowed hard, unable to say anything else.
"So what's next, Caroline?" Klaus asked.
"What do you mean?" Caroline stammered.
"I mean, you seem to have made your peace with my past transgressions. What does this mean for the future of our relationship?" Klaus asked.
"What do you want it to mean?" Caroline asked.
"I'm not going to let you do that," Klaus scolded, shaking his head. "I won't let you make this about me when this is about you. This is about what you want. Have you really still not figured out that I will always want whatever makes you happy?"
"Fine," Caroline responded. "I will be honest with you about what I want."
She smiled shyly at Klaus, knowing he would recognize those words. Sure enough, he was smiling in return.
"I want you to keep all of the promises you've made me," Caroline said. "I want you to show me the whole world that you told me is out there waiting for me. I want you to show me all of the great cities and art and music that you told me I can have. I want you to take me to Rome, Paris, and Tokyo; to see your landscape that's hanging at the Hermitage, and wherever else I want to go. I want to let you show me what the world has to offer. I want to let you show me all of your favorite places in the world and all of their food, music, art, and culture. And I want you to be my last love, Klaus."
"What a coincidence," Klaus answered. "That's what I want as well."
Klaus took a tentative step closer to Caroline.
"I want to keep all of the promises I've made you," Klaus said. "I want to show you the whole world that is out there waiting for you, and I want to get swept up in your infectious excitement as you see and learn and try new things. I want to show you all of the great cities and art and music that you can have, and I want to see your eyes light up with happiness when you see them, and I'll know that the genuine beauty I told you that you would see isn't what you're looking at, it's you looking at it. I want to take you to Rome, Paris, and Tokyo, and let you drag me to every tourist trap that you want to see and I've seen a thousand times already, because nothing is more important to me than making you happy. I want to take you to see my landscape that's hanging at the Hermitage, and listen to you critique it, even though you're not an art expert, you're a know-it-all with an opinion on everything, because there isn't a more beautiful sound in the world than your laugh. I want to take you wherever you want to go, and I hope that list of places you want me to take you keeps growing so that I keep getting to travel the world with you and show you what the world has to offer. I want to show you all of my favorite places, and watch as you fall in love with every single one of them. And I want to be your last love, Caroline."
Caroline started to cry.
"What's wrong, why are you crying?" Klaus worried.
"You say things like that and I have no idea how I resisted you for so long," Caroline cried. "No one else has ever considered my happiness a priority. I've never been as important to anyone as I am to you."
"And that is a travesty, my love," Klaus responded. "Anyone who has ever treated you as if you were anything less than a miracle is a fool. I know that I consider ever moment that you grace me with your presence a blessing, and you deserve that from everyone who is fortunate enough to know you."
Caroline just cried harder at Klaus's sweet words.
While Caroline was making her apology, Klaus had resolutely stood several feet away from her, but with Caroline in tears, he quickly rushed forward to hold her in his arms. Caroline crashed into him as he reached out for her, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her head in his shoulder as his arms encircled her waist.
"Please stop crying, my love," Klaus whispered in her ear, one hand reaching up to stroke her hair. "I wish you wouldn't get so upset over me. You are so beautiful, and perfect, and everything that is good in this world. I'm not worth your tears."
Caroline looked up at him.
"How can you say such lovely things about me and such hateful things about yourself?" Caroline wondered.
Caroline felt her heart sink. She felt like a horrible, selfish person. She had been so caught up in her own insecurities that she hadn't even stopped to think that Klaus might have his own uncertainties about their relationship. She'd seen Klaus exhibit a wide range of emotions that most people, with the exception of maybe some members of his family, never got to see. She'd seen him devastated, when he'd lost his brother. She'd seen him humble, when he'd talked about his art. She'd seen him embarrassed, when she'd rolled her eyes at his line about her bracelet once belonging to a princess almost as beautiful as she was. She'd seen him conciliatory, vengeful, assertive, defensive, charming—but she'd never seen him reach this level of self-loathing.
"A thousand years' worth of self-awareness," Klaus answered. "I know who I am by now. I've done horrible things; I've killed, I've stolen, I've compelled, I've threatened. And I look at you, so pure and innocent and full of light, and I know that there's no way I could ever be worthy of you, but I can't help myself from wishing I could. Then I remember that Hades didn't deserve Persephone, he stole her, and I fear that's what I've done with you."
They were actually perfect for each other, Caroline thought. Neither of them had ever experienced true, unconditional love, and had convinced themselves that they were unworthy of it. They each thought they weren't good enough for the other, though they had different interpretations of what 'good enough' meant. Caroline thought that she was too average and inadequate to be with Klaus, that he should be with someone more special and powerful, while Klaus thought that he literally wasn't good enough for Caroline, that he was evil, too dark and violent to deserve her. Caroline decided that she would make it her mission to convince Klaus that he did deserve her, or at least that she knew all of the horrible things that he had done and still wanted to be with him anyway.
"You are more than those horrible things," Caroline told him. "You forget that I have seen the side of you that is human and good. You are such a loving, devoted father, not just to your own daughter, but to mine, too. The twins adore you, they hated leaving you to go back to Mystic Falls. You are a good brother, to Kol, who admires you and looks up to you, to Elijah, who always stands by your side, to Rebekah, who trusts you more than anyone else, to Freya, who you welcomed into this crazy family after a thousand years apart. You have been so patient with me, even as I pushed you away, and no one could fault you for giving up on me, but you didn't. I'm here to stay, no tricks or pomegranates necessary."
"That's very kind of you to say, my love, but I am afraid that there is nothing you could say that would convince me that I deserve you. An angel like you deserves far better than the king of Hell, a man condemned to an eternity of darkness with no hope of salvation," Klaus said.
"But you don't know what I know," Caroline paused to take a shuddering breath. "I know that I'm in love with you, and anyone capable of being loved is capable of being saved."
Caroline had never seen anyone ever look so purely, overwhelmingly happy as Klaus did in that moment. His eyes were tightly closed, as if ensuring that if this happiness was only a product of his imagination that no one shatter his illusion and force him to return to a reality where this moment of incandescent, all-consuming happiness was only in his head. His wide smile unfurled slowly like a flag, growing as he replayed her words inside his head.
Then his eyes sprang open and refocused to meet Caroline's. His hands moved to cup her face, keeping her gaze on him.
"I love you, Caroline Forbes, with all of my heart, with everything I am, everything I've ever been, and everything I'll ever be," Klaus whispered reverently. "You are my salvation, you are my everything. I will love you for as long as I live."
Caroline had known for quite a while that Klaus loved her, but hearing him say it out loud for the first time made her feel an all-consuming sense of happiness and peace. She'd been trying so hard and for so long to get someone to choose her and love her, and now she knew, without question, that Klaus loved her with all of his heart and would for the rest of their lives, she could finally stop and relax and just be. She'd never felt as safe and warm and loved as she did now in Klaus's arms, because she loved him and he loved her in return. She was his, and he was hers, and so they would remain forever.
Then, very slowly, Klaus leaned down to kiss Caroline. He kissed her so softly that she almost missed the moment that his lips met hers. He was so gentle that he must have been worried that she might break if he was too rough with her, but how could she possibly fall when he was there to catch her? Caroline tried to pull him closer to her, not wanting any distance between them, responding enthusiastically to the kiss, but Klaus refused to let things get any more intense. All too quickly, he was pulling away, only to start playfully placing little kisses on her cheeks, forehead, and nose.
"You have made me so happy," Klaus whispered to her between kisses.
Caroline offered him a dazzling smile.
"I love you," she said, loving the way it felt to finally tell him.
"I love you more," Klaus replied, kissing her again when she pouted at what she thought was an incorrect assumption.
After a few more minutes of kissing and repeatedly professing their love for each other, they made their way, smiling and giggling, from Klaus's study to his bedroom upstairs, where Klaus quickly forgot his promise to Lizzie to return to the courtyard as soon as he and Caroline were finished talking.
{ }
When they heard Caroline and Klaus approach the door, Freya and Bonnie quickly scurried away, still holding the water glasses they had been holding up to the door. The two witches were at a disadvantage in a house where they were the only adults without vampire hearing, so they needed to take desperate measures. They hid around the corner as Klaus and Caroline went upstairs, going into Klaus's bedroom and shutting the door behind them. It was only after the door closed that Freya and Bonnie squealed, in unison, "Finally!"
Elijah straightened his tie. Though he would never admit it out loud, he too had been following along with the ups and downs of Klaus and Caroline's relationship. He quite liked Caroline and was pleased that they seemed to have finally acknowledged their feelings for each other and began a romantic relationship. "It's about time," Elijah thought before returning to the paperwork on his desk.
Rebekah was watching Hope, Lizzie, and Josie dance around the courtyard while listening in to every word of Klaus and Caroline's conversation. She felt no shame at her emotional investment in her brother's relationship, especially since the love of Klaus's life was also Rebekah's best friend. When they finally told each other that they loved each other, Rebekah cheered loud enough to attract the girls' attention. "It's really good news, I promise," she assured them.
Kol's room was right next to Klaus's. He would have been unnerved by what he could hear through the wall if his vampire hearing didn't allow him to hear everything from anywhere in the house. He decided that as a show of support for Klaus and Caroline's new relationship, he would choose not to tease his brother later for the outrageously high number of times he told Caroline he loved her per minute (it was an average of sixteen). "Thank goodness they finally saw the light," he said quietly to himself, smirking and shaking his head.
Hayley sat in the kitchen alone. She had really only been keeping up with the Klaus and Caroline drama so that she would know where she and Hope stood with each of them. Now, it seemed like they were standing together. Though Klaus and Caroline being in a relationship would probably make her and her daughter's lives more complicated, Hayley was happy for them, knowing that Caroline would be happy for Hayley if she was happy and in love. Hayley took a green apple from the bowl on the counter that Caroline had stocked a few days earlier, insisting that the girls needed to eat healthy, and sighed before sitting back down. "At least I know she'll try to be a good stepmother to Hope," she mused.
Well?
Was it worth the wait? Was it everything you wished for? Did you love reading this as much as I loved writing it?
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However long it takes, loves, however long it takes(:
Thank you very much for reading!
Happy Valentine's Day, sweethearts!
love,
charlotte xo