Hey everybody! Just a warning, the rating for this story will change in a couple of chapters (to M). If you're not technically following this story but want to know what happens, make sure to change the filters when you're searching for it :)

"People never grow up, they just learn how to act in public."

― Bryan White

Lizzie groaned in frustration as she rummaged through the nearly empty pantry. She vaguely remembered seeing fruits and eggs in the fridge, but right now she was craving the sugary rush that could only come from cereal made for kids. She jumped as she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

"Can I make something for you, dear?" Lizzie turned to see the motherly face of Mrs. Reynolds and smiled shyly.

"No, thank you. I was just looking for some cereal."

"Oh I'm so sorry, Lizzie. Today is my grocery day. Usually the kitchen is fully stocked, but I'm still not accustomed to the full house."

"Can I go with you to the store? I'd be happy to help," Lizzie offered.

Mrs. Reynolds smiled as a scheme began to form in her head. "That would be fantastic! I'll tell you what. Why don't I give you the list and get Will to take you? There are just so many things to do around the house and you would really be helping me out." Mrs. Reynolds tried to hide the calculating look in her eye by looking hopeful, and it worked.

"I can go by myself-"

Mrs. Reynolds stopped Lizzie's protest with a wave of her hand. "Don't be ridiculous, sweetheart. He'd be happy to go with you. In fact he should be finishing with his morning workout right about now. You can go find him in the gym. It's the door past the game room." While saying this, Mrs. Reynolds walked to the fridge and grabbed the list and put it in Lizzie's outstretched hand.

"Have fun!" With that dismissal, Lizzie left the room and went to search for Darcy. She found the room Mrs. Reynolds had told her Will was in and opened the door.

"Hey, can you-" Lizzie stopped talking as her mind went completely blank. Darcy was facing the door with his eyes closed in concentration and earphones in his ears. He was currently doing sit-ups… with no shirt on. Lizzie completely forgot what she came in the room for as she noticed the sweat slowly moving down his neck and the taut muscles working mechanically. She stood there for a full minute, just watching his body moving, before she snapped out of her trance. She walked forward and nudged his leg with her foot. Darcy stilled and opened his eyes before leaning back on his hands and taking his earphones out. He was breathing quite heavily and Lizzie had to force herself not to stare at his chest.

It was quite difficult.

Lizzie cleared her throat. "Will you take me to the grocery store?" She then waved the grocery list in front of his face as if that was explanation enough. Will nodded, recognizing his housekeeper's handwriting.

"Meet me in the living room in fifteen minutes? I need to shower and change." Lizzie involuntarily imagined Darcy in the shower and stood there for longer than she meant to. "Yep, I'll just come- go- to the living room… that is." Flustered, she walked to the living room and sat on the couch, playing with her phone and thinking about Darcy. Now, there was no doubt in her mind that she was attracted to him, but did she like him? Sometimes he seemed attentive and interested in her, but other times he was inexplicably cold and proud. Lizzie grew frustrated at her inability to understand him, but she shook it off as he walked in the room. Together they wordlessly walked towards the garage and Darcy gestured to the car they would be using.

He opened the car door for her and then walked to the driver's side, turning on the car once he was inside. As they were pulling out of the driveway, Lizzie turned on the radio and flipped through the preset stations.

"I like classical music as much as the next person, but this is ridiculous," Lizzie said in a teasing tone.

"What?" Darcy questioned innocently.

"Station number 1- Verdi, number 2- Mozart, number 3- Wagner-"

"I really like classical music."

"Yeah, I got that. Next you're going to tell me you like reading 'Othello' in your free time."

Darcy coughed and averted his gaze.

"You're kidding."

"It's well-written, compelling-"

"Boring, and all the characters are awful. The protagonist murders his wife over a handkerchief."

"He murdered her because he thought she was being unfaithful."

"Yes, and he thought that because of a handkerchief! And why do you like that play so much? It's very depressing."

"Let me guess," Darcy said, ignoring her question altogether, "your favorite play is 'Much Ado About Nothing.'"

It was Lizzie's turn to cough and avert her gaze.

"Really?"

"It's funny! Just because you prefer to read stories where everyone dies in the end doesn't mean I have to."

They argued about the worth of their favorite Shakespearian plays until Darcy pulled into the store parking lot. They walked into the grocery store and Lizzie couldn't help but to roll her eyes once they were inside. Ugh, this is one of those places where they only sell overpriced organic food. There wasn't even a candy bar in sight! How atrocious. She smothered her distaste and turned to Darcy.

"I want to pay for the groceries. It's the least I could do since I'm staying in your house rent-free."

"Absolutely not," Darcy replied in a tone that suggested there was no room for negotiations.

"Why won't you let me be nice?" Lizzie pouted as he tugged at a grocery cart.

"Because it's my house."

"I'll race you for it."

"For my house?"

"No, for the grocery bill."

After glancing towards her short legs, Darcy looked Lizzie in the eyes and smiled smugly. "Are you positive you want to make that bet?"

"I meant with the grocery carts, jerk," Lizzie said, pushing Darcy playfully.

Darcy arched an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"Okay, so we each take a cart and start running from there," Lizzie said, pointing to an area near the cash registers, about twenty feet from the beginning of the aisles. "When we get to the aisle, our feet have to go on the cart. Whoever stops first is the loser. The winner gets to pay for the groceries… got it?"

"I don't want to disturb the other people here."

They both looked around the nearly empty store. The only people around were the teenage cashiers with bored expressions permanently etched on their faces.

"I think we'll be okay."

Lizzie pushed her grocery cart towards the fruit section. "Just give me a minute."

When she appeared near the starting line Lizzie had four watermelons in her cart.

"What are those for?"

Lizzie inwardly grinned at the Darcy's ignorance. Apparently he had never had the pleasure of racing on grocery carts, and therefore was unaware that if there was no weight in the front of the cart it was hard to stand on it for longer than a couple of seconds.

"Nothing. Let's do this. One, two, three, go!"

Together they sprinted towards the aisle, and when they reached it they jumped onto their respective carts. Darcy had a considerable advantage because he ran faster, but he got too cocky and leaned back to gloat at Elizabeth. The change caused him to lose his balance and he tipped backwards, bringing the cart with him as he fell to the floor. Lizzie snickered as she glided past him. "Ha! I win! Victory is mine-ah!"

Unfortunately, hubris was Lizzie's downfall as well. Because she turned her head to flaunt her triumph, she was unable to see the woman who had walked into her path. The woman shrieked loudly and ran out of the way, which Lizzie thought was a bit dramatic considering the fact that she hadn't even come close to running into her. Before she could apologize the woman started yelling at her in a high pitched wail.

"How dare you, young woman? You heathens have no decency, pushing around those carts like you're children…"

Lizzie tried paying attention to the woman's words, but was utterly distracted by her face and outfit. The woman had clearly had botox injections recently, and as a result her facial expressions were subdued, a feature that contrasted with her vehement screaming. She was also wearing a bright pink sweatsuit. Lizzie continued staring, unable to defend her reputation because of her inability to currently form a coherent sentence.

The woman stopped screaming as her attention was diverted by Darcy, who was standing slightly behind Lizzie. "Oh, William! How are you? It's such a pleasure seeing you again," she said coyly.

"It is?" Darcy questioned. The woman's lips had only turned up slightly, so you can see why he was confused.

"Of course I am, darling. Why would you doubt that?"

"Uhm, no reason," Darcy mumbled before giving introductions. "Elizabeth, this is Janet Bingley, Charles and Caroline's mother. Mrs. Bingley, this is Elizabeth, one of the contestants on the show."

If it was possible, Mrs. Bingley's apparent hatred for Lizzie grew. She talked at Darcy as if Lizzie wasn't there. "Oh, I'm surprised you haven't just sent all the others," here she stopped to sneer at Lizzie, "away after you picked Caroline. I keep telling that girl she needs to snag a respectable man, such as yourself, so she can settle down and have children before it's too late. Or you can adopt, which might be better because Caroline can't afford to gain any weight." She held her hand to her mouth as if she was telling a secret. "Lord knows she needs to drop a couple of pounds. But obviously you're in great shape." Mrs. Bingley ran her hand along Darcy's bicep.

Lizzie giggled inwardly as Darcy flinched. She could not believe the audacity of this woman! And yet, somehow she was also impressed by how Mrs. Bingley managed to both demean her own daughter and compliment Darcy in one breath. This sad excuse for a mother made Lizzie feel better about her own family. Sure, Mrs. Bennet was always asking about her love life and dropping hints about grandchildren, but she never disparaged her in front of complete strangers. Despite her constant interference in Lizzie's life, Mrs. Bennet was actually a very loving mother. In fact, she was the one that encouraged her to graduate early from high school and threw a party for her every time she was promoted. Lizzie was pulled out of her thoughts as Mrs. Bingley continued to hit on Darcy.

Darcy tried to politely disengage himself from the conversation, but Mrs. Bingley was very tenacious. Lizzie took out the grocery list and left Darcy, waving at him behind Mrs. Bingley's back. She could see him begging her not to leave with his eyes, but Lizzie just smirked. Once she had everything on the list she returned to the spot where she had left him. To Lizzie's utter delight, Mrs. Bingley was still hanging on her victim, who looked as if he was about to murder somebody. Lizzie decided it was time to leave and boldly walked up to the couple, removing Mrs. Bingley's arm from Darcy as she gave an insincere apology.

"I'm very sorry to tell you Mrs. Bingley, but we have to go now. Meeting you was… eye-opening." With that she grabbed Darcy's hand and left the shocked woman behind. Once they were out of sight Darcy rounded on Lizzie.

"You couldn't have done that forty five minutes ago?!" Darcy asked angrily. "Every time I tried to get away she followed me!"

"Well," Lizzie said innocently, "I could've, but I didn't want you to miss out on having one-on-one time with your future mother-in-law."

"That's not funny," Darcy pouted as the cashier started ringing up their items. "If you want to repay me you can go get toothpaste from the back aisle. Mrs. Reynolds forgot to put it on the list."

"Fine. I'll be right back." Lizzie left and returned with toothpaste in her hand, only to see Darcy already paying the cashier.

"What the hell? We had a deal."

"Yes, but that was before you left me with the she-devil and shitshe'scomingourway so you better run. I swear I will leave you here!"

Lizzie looked back to see Mrs. Bingley waving manically. "William, I forgot to say goodbye!"

She turned to mock Darcy but he was nowhere in sight. Lizzie took the hint and quickly pushed the cart with the food towards the exit, yelling at Darcy as he sprinted away towards the car. "Start the car!"

Together they threw the groceries in the car, surveying their surroundings as they did so. After they were finished they jumped in their seats, looked at each other, and exploded into laughter.

After they were finished laughing, Lizzie leaned back in her seat. "I actually feel bad for Caroline. Could you imagine growing up with a mother who wears pants with the word 'juicy' across her ass?"

"I forgot how awful that woman was- ahhhhh!" Darcy let out a bloodcurdling scream that had Lizzie jumping in her seat. She looked over to the driver's side window, where Mrs. Bingley was knocking at the glass.

"Drive!"

Darcy took Lizzie's advice and raced out the parking lot, running over a curb in his haste to get away. He slowed down once they were out of sight, but kept his eyes peeled for any signs of neon pink. They carried in the groceries once they were back at the house, but were stopped at the foyer by an unusually serious Charlotte.

"Lizzie, I need to show you something."

Darcy waved over Mrs. Reynolds and asked her to put up the groceries while Charlotte escorted them to the camera room. Richard and Jane were waiting for them.

"Oh Lizzie," Jane said somberly, "I'm really sorry you had to find out like this, but we wanted you to see it for yourself."

"Okay, you're starting to freak me out. What is going on?"

Richard pressed play on one of the screens. The footage showed Caroline lying out by the pool and Tom sauntering up and sitting on the chair next to her.

"How are you doing today, Caroline?" Tom asked in a charming voice.

"I'm doing fine," Caroline replied curtly as she examined her fingernails. "Richard," Caroline whined as she looked at the camera, "can you get me another drink? It's so hot outside."

Tom replied before Richard had time to. "Here, I'll help you with that." Caroline held out her empty glass to Tom, but instead of taking it Tom picked Caroline up and threw her in the pool. She yelped and came out of the water looking pissed off. Tom stood there on the side, smiling as she resurfaced. "Feel better?"

Caroline gasped and stormed out of the pool, looking murderous as she passed behind Tom. In a move nobody else had anticipated, Caroline pushed Tom in the pool before he had a chance to react and jumped in after him. They both came up laughing, and Lizzie watched in thinly veiled glee as they began to flirt with each other. What surprised her the most is that Caroline wasn't her usually rigid and desperate self. She periodically touched Tom's shoulder, but she wasn't posing the way she usually did when she was around Darcy. Lizzie couldn't stop the smile from emerging on her face as she watched the rest of the footage. When it was over Jane and Charlotte looked at her in sympathy.

"Is that it?" Lizzie asked, confused as why they would be so worried about her.

"Isn't it enough?" Charlotte asked angrily. "We warned you that he was a man whore!"

"Tom has every right to be with someone else. Like I said, I never reciprocated his feelings. I'm happy this happened."

"You're sure you're alright?" Jane said, laying a comforting hand on Lizzie's shoulder.

"I'm perfectly fine," Lizzie said truthfully as she looked around the room. "Stop worrying now."

Charlotte and Jane sighed in relief as they left the room knowing Lizzie wasn't hurt by the revelation. Richard followed them out. Once they were alone Lizzie turned to Darcy and held her pinky finger to her mouth in a Dr. Evil-esque move.

"Phase one-complete!"