Chapter 14: There will be another sky, my love, just you wait.

His mother hadn't been surprised to see him in the hospital the next morning. His brother was. Or at least Liam pretended as if he was surprised.

Presumably, he was not really surprised by the fact to find him there, but rather the fact that he and his father talked to each other.

He had tried to spend most of the day with his family in the hospital but didn't make it. When he wanted to leave at noon, his mother held him gently by the arm.

"You'll come to our breakfast tomorrow, right?"

Killian hesitated.

"It's tradition, Killian. Have breakfast with us, there are gifts, in the evening we go to church together and then there's the dinner. Please, come. It is bad enough that your father will not be there."

He could not keep his mother's gaze. Actually, he had no desire to go there, but it was Christmas and his mother didn't feel well anyway. He would get through this one day. For his mother.

Killian nodded "I'll be there."

"Wonderful, thank you, darling."

The rest of the day passed by quickly. He still had a lot of things that he needed to get done and then went to bed early. The next morning he got up at eight so that he had enough time to shower before he would appear for the annual breakfast at his parents' house.

He knew that his mother was sad that his father couldn't really spend Christmas with them. He was feeling much better, though, but doctors didn't want to take any risk. He was still very weak and the risk that he would now get sick again was very high.

They all would get their Christmas presents after they get home from church this year. The whole breakfast was exceptionally quiet. Everyone was careful to not say anything wrong. The Christmas service was actually the same as every year. But it interesting to see so many familiar faces.

A handshake here and a friendly nod there. He saw many of the boys with whom he had spent some time with at school. Many of them were fathers by now, but there were also cases in which it didn't look so good. One of his former fellow classmates apparently had some major problems in his life.

He was looking for his family in the crowd in front of the church when he saw her. He recognized Milah from behind and he had to suppress rolling his eyes, as he watched his mother heading straight for her and embracing her to wish her a Merry Christmas.

That figures! His sister-in-law, Claire hugged her as well, Liam, as always being polite, just shook hands with her. The two had never been particularly close. Reluctantly, he also went over. When she saw him her eyes widened for a brief moment.

"Killian," she whispered. Thankfully, her friends and family with whom she had come here, were not really attentive and noticed him hardly.

"Milah,"

She forced a slight smile but he knew how much strength it took.

"Merry Christmas," he said gently.

"Yes, Merry Christmas to you too."

"Thank you,"

Then there was silence. He wanted to talk to her. He wondered how she's doing, if everything is okay, how she copes. Because he still was interested in it. It was important to him to know that she was fine and that she was happy. Even if this was currently obviously not the case. She was still important to him.

Milah cleared her throat, "Well then, good evening."

"Likewise," he replied.

Nobody lost a word about it. On the way back to his parents' home, he was silent most of the time.

They all gathered in the living room. His little niece was sleeping in a guest room.

"Well," His mother began after she got some drinks for everyone "The gifts for Killian first. Who wants to start?"

Liam gulped "I start."

He handed Killian one of the gifts. It was of medium height and flat.

"First I want you to know that it is not about the material value but rather to the personal. But you already know this."

Liam nodded to the gift "Open it, then I'll explain."

Carefully Killian began to tear the wrapping paper. He hated that everyone was watching him, but he tried to ignore it.

A white photo frame appeared. Behind the glass was not a photo, but something else. At the top, his first name was written in a blueish color. left under it the gender and right under it the origin of his name. In this case, it was Irish and Gaelic. underneath the gender and the origin were meanings of his name: church, little war, strife and fierce. And how the name is pronounced correctly: KILL-ee-un.

He managed a little smile.

The individual letters of his name were written down below each other. In each case a characteristic. For K it was kindhearted, inspiring for the I, for the first L it was loyal and lovable for the second one, the other I was intelligent, for the A it was adventurous, and in the N it was noble.

Among them were still many other characterizations. He had to swallow.

"This is how we see you," Liam said quietly. "Each trait applies to you. We assembled it together with mom and dad. It's also a reminder to yourself. to remind you who you are and how you are. How much we love you. You do have your flaws sometimes but we don't love you any less because of them. And since I know how much you sometimes doubt yourself, I hope that this will help you. You are a great person Killian. And the best little brother in the world."

Killian swallowed and had to blink a couple of times to not lose his composure.
"Younger brother." Was the first thing he whispered and it made everyone laugh.

He looked at his brother and then his brother's wife "thank you," he said a little louder this time, "honestly, I love it. Thank you very much."

Carefully Killian put his gift aside and stood up, "Come here," he told Liam and embraced him as he stood, "I love you too, Big Brother."

"So," His mother began "I guess it's my turn now."

She handed Killian his gift and he started to unwrap it slowly. Again, he felt all eyes resting on him. It was a photo album.

"Your father and I actually wanted to give it to you on your 30th birthday but give it to you now seemed more sensible."

He flipped to the first page. The first photo was not really a photo but an ultrasound image and a photo of his mother where she was pregnant with him. It covered all his years of life. Until his 29th year of age.

It must have been a lot of work to pick out the pictures and glue it into the book. In addition to each photo was a small description such as the date or the event. He would get a closer look later.

"That must have been a lot of work." He said and looked at his mother.

"It was worth it." She said. "You're worth it. Just like your brother, we want you just remember who you are, Killian. We love you on since your initial heartbeat and you know that you a planned child and you and Liam are the most precious things in our lives. And like any mother I want you to be happy and it breaks my heart to see you suffering like this.

I know how much pressure you have to bear and I know how strong you are. You always were. And I am also aware of how much you doubt yourself sometimes. You always want to please everyone and prove yourself but I think sometimes you forget that you don't have to. The not it's your job. I want to see you happy again. You have already accomplished so much and you can be proud of yourself.

I think that you sometimes just forget to enjoy the moments, you know? You live your life but I think that sometimes you just have to take a moment to really enjoy it. Take your time, Killian. Time for yourself, time for your friends and your hobbies. Think about what makes you happy. Question yourself. Is that what I want? Does it make me happy?

Live your life but also think about the consequences from time to time. As a parent, you only want the best and I know that life makes it difficult for you right now and you had to make many decisions that affect not only the present but also the future.

And I also know that one sometimes wonders whether it was the right decision. I want you to know that we are so incredibly proud of you and always will be. I think there is nothing in the world you could do, to make us love you any less. Of course, there are hard times in life but there are also plenty of things to which are worth fighting for. Like, family. Or love. It might seem like nothing goes as you had planned or that it all is too much, but we have your back. Always. Without any exception.

Your life may be complicated right now, but if God wants you to grow, he makes you uncomfortable and puts obstacles in your way. And even if it looks as if it would never be over, it will be, because there can never be only sun or rain. Do you remember what I always told you if you were sad or desperate? When you saw no light?"

"There will be another sky, just you wait" whispered Killian.

His mother nodded and repeated "There will be another sky, my love, just you wait " She had tears in her eyes and tried to smile valiantly as he got up to embrace her.

"Thanks, that means a lot to me."

"Whenever you feel like you forget who you are, or if you feel like you are losing yourself. Just take a look at your photo album and you will remember again. We wish you all the best and we know that you'll find your way."

"Thank you, Mom."

"You're welcome. I love you, Killian. My little prince."

Killian smiled, "I love you too."

Killian gave Liam the "brothers day" he wanted, because he thinks that they don't see each other enough because of Killian's job and because Killian, apparently, had no time for his hobbies. One day just him and his big brother.
He knew that Liam wanted to go sailing with him and although he was not sure whether he unlearnt it, he looked forward to it.

His gift for his sister-in-law was more of a gift for her and his brother. A weekend alone while he took care of his niece. A win-win situation.

The two would have some time alone and were able to drive or fly to a location of their choice, and he could spend some time with Ella.

"I can't even remember when we had an evening for ourselves. Or a whole weekend." Said Claire and looked at Liam.

"I honestly don't remember."

"So, it's been far too long. Thank you, Killian."

Finally the gift for his parents. Liam and he had planned it together. Even if it had been his idea and he also had taken care of the essentials.

"So," Began Liam "I must honestly confess that it was Killian's idea but I am one hundred percent convinced of that you and dad will love it."

"I know that you and dad wanted to spend honeymoon in Venice all those years ago and I also know that it didn't work for some reasons. It also wasn't really possible to go later, because you had Liam and later me. We both know that you are still dreaming of seeing Venice together and that's why we would like to give you a week in Venice."

"What?" His mother asked in disbelief.

"You will spend a week in one of Venice's best hotels with all inclusive and of course you have a week to explore the city. You don't have to worry about the money. Liam and I will take care of all costs. Another highlight is that you will spend your 37th wedding anniversary in Venice. So a belated honeymoon." He grinned.

"We can't accept that," His mother said softly. He could see the tears gathering in her eyes.

"Yes, you can and you will. We won't accept a no for an answer." Replied Liam.

"You deserve it. You have done and sacrificed so much for us all these years. You were always there for us and always backed off. Now we want to give something back."

"Besides," Began Killian with an amused grin "We are somehow the reason why you never could go to Venice after your wedding."

Some tears flowed down his mother's cheeks as she laughed lightly "It was our decision to have you two."

"Okay, no further information, please."

Now she laughed even more and embraced both her sons at the same time "I can't say how grateful I am. And I can't wait to see your father's face when he learns of this."

He was really glad that Robin could pick him up from the airport and that he was not besieged by excessively many paparazzi.

"Welcome back." Robin greeted him when Killian got in the car.

"Thanks, man."

"You know that you're always welcome."

Killian had met Robin on the set of one of his films. That was nearly one and a half years ago but ever since Robin was one of his best friends.

They supported each other, both in the private as well as in business matters. And although Robin is a few years older than he, they get along great and are (if they see each other) almost inseparable.

"You're my savior. I would not have endured New Year's Eve at home."

"I completely understand. Also, you would have been just sentimental sitting around and thinking about the past."

He had a point. Killian had toyed with the idea to sell the house he and Milah used to live in for days now.

Killian had always felt comfortable, domestic and safe but since he lives in there alone, it's different. It doesn't give warmth off, not a bit security. And he wondered whether he might not yet leave his home country for a while and settle anywhere in the US. What's the big deal? It certainly would not be forever, but he had enough money to get somewhere to buy a fancy second house. And of course he would be even closer to the roles he could play. It would be so much easier for him.

"Additionally," Robin continued and interrupted his thoughts, "I currently have so much stress that support and distraction from a friend are just right."

Robin's life was at least at one point so crappy like his own.

"Is it about the little one?" He asked.

His friend nodded "Yes,"

Just as he, Robin had met a young woman in his youth, that he would have referred as the love of his life just a few years ago. They married and had a son about 6 years ago.

After that, everything went down. Just three years after Roland's birth they divorced. since then it's a constant back and forth with whom the kid should be. Marian was a polite, nice woman who loved her son, but sometimes she was a lot to handle.

She and Robin tried it, despite all the difficulties, yet somehow to make it as good as they could. For their son. It was still difficult because Robin was gone so much because of acting and couldn't always his son. In addition, Roland would soon go to primary school. That would make it, even more, harder than it was now.

Another reason for their fights was the woman Robin had met recently. according to Robin, it was nothing serious. Not yet! But Killian knew that his friend liked her a lot. He downright raved over her.

Marian, however, wasn't a fan of it and thinks that it would be so much more difficult for Roland when Robin has somebody else at his side. He wouldn't understand and that this woman generally wouldn't be a good deal for their son.

Killian only knew that the two women had apparently met before and that meeting probably didn't go so well.

Killian sighed "Well, it feel like the lord is testing us. Doesn't it?"

"One could say so." Laughed Robin "The older Roland gets, the harder it is to get everything together, but the more he understands."

There was a slight pause before Killian decided to change the subject, "So what do we do tonight to celebrate the new year?"

"Well, Roland is with his mother and we have several invitations to various parties." His mate clarified "We could pick and choose the best. But if you don't mind, I think I know a party where we could go."

He was right. Many celebrities throw a big New Year's Eve's party with many famous guests, great food, and great music.

"What's that?"

Robin cleared his throat "Well, Jefferson Madhat will throw a party this evening. How actually every year and his parties are awesome."

"Madhat? Is that really his last name? I mean like seriously?" He asked slightly grinning. He had already met Jefferson on several events but only knew him fleetingly.

"I don't know." Robin shrugged "I think it's his stage name, but I don't really care."

"Let's be in serious," Killian began "But the guy has a screw loose right?"

Robin grinned too "Certainly. No idea whether he's taking any drugs but he's pretty crazy."

"So tonight to his party?"

"Yes, there will be many people that we know."

"Even your lass?"

"Regina is not my 'lass'."

"Ahh Regina is the unknown. And no apparently she's not your lass. Not yet."

"Yes, her name is Regina and I have no idea whether she will be there. Her mother also has a celebration tonight and will certainly require Regina's presence."

"But this Regina is full of age, right?" Killian quipped, whereupon Robin punched him in the arm without taking his eyes off the road.

"Cora Mills likes to have everything under control."

"Cora Mills? The Cora Mills from Mills International?" Killian raised his eyebrows,

"You and the heir of Mills International are together? With the daughter of couturiére Cora Mills?"

"We are not a couple, Killian. And besides, Regina is reluctant to stand in the shadow of her mother. She doesn't like it."

"Hey, at least she will be Queen of the whole fashion empire one day."

"She just wants to do her own thing, as we all do." Said Robin before he turned into the driveway to his villa.

A few hours later they were back in the car, on their way to the party. Thankfully, Jefferson's mansion was not too far from Robin's. Robin had previously even called Jefferson to make sure that he was allowed to bring Killian. Jefferson obviously didn't mind.

When they got out of the car the party already was in full swing. No wonder. It was 9:30 in the evening. Killian rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and followed his mate to the entrance of the mansion.

Guests who were not on the guest list were obviously undesirable since they were asked for their names at the gate to Jefferson's property.
Only when one of the guards had nodded to another, they were allowed to keep going. It is a private circle. No unwanted surprises. All relatively private.

Of course, it wouldn't be so cool if some of the invited guests would have a mega crash and there were any pictures that would appear in one of the tabloids the next morning. At the front door, they were greeted by an already slightly drunken Jefferson.

They chatted with him briefly before Jefferson sent them further to the kitchen to get some drinks. Killian saw some familiar faces. Several actors, singers, models or presenters he knew and with whom he could converse.

He hated to go to a party where he doesn't know anyone. He usually doesn't take long to find someone to talk with, but it still much easier if he knew the people who were around him, which usually wasn't the case at his job. However, one got to know new people who may even become close friends.
The DJ did a good job. Many were dancing. And he watched them for some time.

"Killian!" Robin, who had talked to Chris Pine until a few seconds ago, interrupted his thoughts. Again!

"I want you to meet someone."

'As if I don't know Chris Pine!' He thought and shook his head. But he was wrong Chris was gone again.

Before him stood a dark-haired woman, who was certainly a few years older than himself. Her hair, which was slightly longer than shoulder-length, covered a bit of the red dress she wore. Her dark brown eyes fit the color of her hair well and the lipstick she had applied was precisely matched to the color of her dress.

It wasn't a short party dress, as was almost every other woman here wore, but rather knee-length and modest looking. Perhaps modest was not quite the right word, because he was almost certain that this woman was not really modest. Disciplined and Elegant? Yes definitely, but not modest. He could see it in her eyes.

"That's Regina." Said his friend happily "Regina, this is Killian."

They shook hands briefly before Regina faked a smile "Oh, the man who cheated on his wife with a teenager."

Killian's smile dropped from his face and his expression became hard. How dare she? His left hand clutching the beer bottle so tightly he was sure she would burst if he keeps holding it so firmly.

"Regina!" Robin hissed beside her, but she kept grinning at him with a sneering look on her face.

"Oh, you are the daughter of Cora Mills!" He began when he remembered that Regina doesn't like to stand in the shadow of her mother Cora "Your mother is legendary, but of you, I have never heard." He grinned.

Well, two can play this game.

This wannabe queen wants a fight? She can have a fight.

He could have added something else but the look on her face told him that this was enough already.

Regina swallowed and then raised her chin just a little bit higher "If I were you, I would be very careful." She hissed softly.

"And If I were you, I would stay out of other people's business and instead shut the fuck up." He countered.

She provocatively raised her eyebrows "And why do you think that I don't know about it? Believe me, the news tell everything about you and your little girlfriend."

"Oh yes? From you, we hear nothing!" He replied serenely without breaking the eye contact. Just to rub it in a bit. He could tell how much it pissed her off.

"Regina, that's enough!" Robin hissed again. "Killian is one of my best friends, so pull yourself together, please, okay?"

Regina nodded for Robin's sake. He could see it clearly wasn't done for her. "Of course, excuse me. It was not my intention to meddle in your life. You're right, I have no clue and shouldn't judge you. "

Killian nodded. What a snake in the grass.

As quickly as Regina was there, she was gone again. He had no idea where she was out at once, but he didn't care. He and Robin drank another beer and talked about how Christmas had been.

Some time later, a pretty blonde joined them, trying to chat him up all the time. She constantly made compliments and praised him unusually often for his talent for acting. She was pretty. No question, but not nearly as pretty as Emma.

Emma was a goddess when it came to him. Beautiful and yet so stormy.
Killian didn't listen to the jabbering of the blonde, whose breasts were definitely fake but sank into his thoughts about Emma.

He thought of her eyes and her smile, how confident she was, but at the same time so lonely and vulnerable. Her armor protected her not only of the disappointment that she could feel but also of love.

In his mind, he heard her laugh. What a beautiful laugh she has. He heard it still and it took quite a time until he realized that he didn't hear it in his mind.

It was here. She was here. At this party. In this room. So close that he could hear her laugh.

"Excuse me," he said to the blonde and didn't even wait for an answer. He stormed off to look for her. He let his gaze wander and found her.

There she was.

She stood on the terrace with a glass of champagne in hand, surrounded by people. Her cousin was standing beside her. Emma looked beautiful, which was no surprise, of course.

He drew a sharp breath as he admired her dress. She actually wore leather. A leather dress that went to the middle of her thighs. It had broad support and only a very little neck. She looked really stunning.

Suddenly she turned and stared at him "Killian?"

"Hey," He took a few steps toward her to greet her properly. When he was near her they hugged briefly.

"I didn't know you'd be here."

"It was a fairly short-term decision. I am here with a good friend of mine." He said nodding

"Hello, Elsa."

"Hey, Killian."

"Incidentally, it is also surprising to see you here," he said directed to Emma and licked his lips. He noticed how her eyes darted to his lips for only a moment.

"Yes, I'm here with some acquaintances here," she said, and glanced at the group of people with whom she had just spoken, "Did you have a merry Christmas?"

Killian nodded "Yes, a bit exhausting but beautiful. But it was different. My father wasn't with us this year."

"Why not?"

"He's in the hospital."

"What happened?"

"He had severe pneumonia and has abducted it, but he feels a lot better now."
Emma nodded "thank God. And how are you?"

"I deal with it. But yes under the circumstances, it is according to me quite well. Now I want to sell the house soon."

"For real? I didn't know that you no longer want to live in it."

He sighed, "I, until recently, no. I .. It's just not like it used to be. I can't do this any longer." He confessed.

The loud music from the inside was not as deafening here.

Emma looked down at her fingers, enclosed the glass "I can understand that. I also recently just moved."

"Wow really? Where to?"

"Beverly Hills. I just had to get out, just like you."

"We haven't spoken in a long time, am I right?" He admitted and scratched his right ear.

She tried to smile, "Right. We both are busy persons, I guess-"

"Yes, probably."

Emma took another sip from her glass "And where do you wanna go?"

"Somewhere here in the area of L.A."

"Then you should look at Beverly Hills in any case."

"Okay, I will."

She smiled at him and his heart beat faster. He wondered whether she felt the same way he did. All this time where they didn't see each other, the feeling were repressed but now she's here. With him. And all the feeling were suddenly back.

"Listen up, you motherfuckers!" Shouted a "slightly" drunk Jefferson into a microphone. "It is 10 to twelve! So if you want to see the fireworks, I would suggest you search yourself a good place! Grab a drink for the toast and someone for your New Year's Kiss," He added and winked at someone.

"By the way! Really cool that you all are here and we can celebrate together! I love you!"

Emma raised her eyebrows "I think Jefferson had a few drinks too much."

"I think so too."

He let his gaze wander in order to find Robin. He found him a few meters away next to Regina, the two chatted and laughed.

The people from inside came out into the garden to see the fireworks.

"Are you going back to your friends?" He asked Emma, hoping that she would stay with him.

Luckily for him, she shook her head "No, I'll stay here with you, unless you want to search for your friend."

He also shook his head "Nah, he's busy." He said and nodded in Robin's direction.

"Shall we stay here or find another place?"

They were now surrounded by other people.

"Come on." He said and Emma followed him.

On a more quiet place, he stopped. It was further in Jefferson's enormous garden, quite a few meters from the mansion and the terrace. The music was still loud, but much quieter than it was a few moments ago. They were near a garden pond. The moon and the lights were reflected in the Blue Water. Around it were flowers in various colors. Had Jefferson a fable for flowers? Some garden lamps lit the way back or to the pool house. The lightning made her look beautiful.

Not far from them were the pool and the pool house. More and more people came into the huge garden. It couldn't be long until midnight.

"So, that's it. That was 2015, huh?"

"Looks like it."

"May the New Year be gracious with us," Emma whispered.

He knew that she was thinking about her mother in the last moments of this year.

Behind them, the people began the countdown.

10
He thought of Milah.
9
And everything happened this year.
8
Of the good
7
and the bad things.
6
He thought about how he had met Emma and their night in Berlin.
5
About the new friends he made.
4
and about what he had lost.
3
He thought of his family
2
And thanked the Lord for this year. Even though it was a hard one.
1
And he hoped that the new year would be a good year.

Behind him, the people were happy and cheered and he looked at Emma, who looked at him as well. Above them, the bright colors of fireworks lightened the night sky. It dipped her appearance in pink and red and she smiled at him. She was really beautiful.

They said nothing, just looked at each other for a moment and he wasn't sure if he was the one who leaned toward her or whether she was the one who leaned in. But it didn't really matter because a few seconds later, he pressed his lips to hers or she to his? Again his heart beat faster and he could not think clearly.

He deepened the kiss and buried his hand in her hair after he had pulled her closer towards him. Killian couldn't stop kissing her. Again it was like a rush. When he felt her tongue on his lower lip, he opened his mouth. And relieved he stated that she couldn't stop either.

A/N: It's finally here! Thank you for being so patient! The quote that's also the chapter title is from the book "The life list" by Lori Nelson Spielman.

Reviews make my day and feed my muse. Don't be shy. You have no idea how happy reviews make me! Also thanks for the favs and follows :)

Thank you for reading I hope you liked this chapter. Also a huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and said some nice things about my grandma. She's fine now :)

While writing this chapter I made tons of notes. I outlined the gift for Killian with his name. You can find it on my Tumblr

Wordcount: 5270