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Lost In Sadness

"And?" Strauss asked irritably, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, I was just wondering why you're here?" Will asked, improvising. He felt Henry pulling on his hand lightly, probably curious as to what they were doing.

"You're hardly in a position to question me, Will." Erin said in a cold, hard as steel tone. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and she crossed her arms.

"Oh, no ma'am, I was just wondering. I figured you'd be busy, being in charge of everything." Will said, remembering something JJ had said once about authority figures.

"That type of unsub likes to be praised for their work, because they view themselves as a superior to everyone else. It's important for us to make them sound higher than the population. Us, even."

Okay, so Erin Strauss was no unsub. She didn't kill anyone. But if looks could kill she'd be their next case, at the moment.

"Well, yes, usually. But the team, and your wife have crossed the line this time." Strauss said angrily.

"What line?" Henry asked curiously, and Will looked down to give him a look that clearly said let's play the silent game.

Erin visibly softened her face to look at Henry, and Will knew this was probably because she had a son of her own.

"An imaginary one. Your mom left work without permission and ignored my calls." She said coldly to Henry, who frowned in confusion.

"Mommy says we're not allowed to break rules." Henry told her simply, even though Will was now squeezing his hand firmly in a warning.

"Well your mother needs to learn to practice what she preaches." Strauss mumbled, although it was loud enough for Henry to hear.

"Daddy, what-"

"You know what Mrs Strauss; I've had enough of this. You can insult my wife all you want, but rumour has it you've broken your own fair share of rules. So really, when you think about it, that applies far more to you than it does to JJ. Now please, if you're going to give your opinion on her, do it when my son isn't around." Will said angrily, and stared her down.

He expected her to back off, but she puffed up her chest.

"Well William, I would watch your mouth if I were you. I have the power to get you fired just as much as Jennifer." Strauss threatened fiercely.

Will watched as a few passers-by looked at her warily, as her voice was quite loud in the quiet lobby.

"Go right ahead Erin, any dirt you have on me will be topped by the pile we have on you." Will fought back even louder, and ignored the few looks he got.

"Is that a threat? You listen to me, Will." She said with venom in her tone, as she stepped closer to him. "If I were you I'd value the time you have left with your badge, and buy your spoiled son here something nice. Because this time tomorrow, that flashy police shield, along with your salary, will be gone. Got it?"

Will let go of Henry's hand and stepped even closer to Erin.

"Don't you ever speak badly of Henry in front of me, 'got it'?" He said coldly, imitating her low voice.

This time Strauss put her hands on her hips furiously, but before she could reply, someone interrupted.

"Hey? What the hell is going on here?" Hotch asked apprehensively.

"Nothing of your business Aaron. You should probably be packing up your office right now anyways." Erin said, and Will backed up and grabbed his son's hand once more.

"Strauss, I would shut my mouth if I was you." Hotch said angrily.

"Come on Henry." Will said to his son, and began pulling him towards the elevators. "Mrs Strauss isn't the type of person we want to waste out time over. Let's go give everyone their muffins and soda."

"Okay Daddy. Bye Uncle Hotch!"

XXX

Emily turned on her shower on auto pilot, her mind elsewhere. She was continually running though the conversation on the phone with her...well, family.

She missed them more than anything. She wanted to see them smile. She wanted to hug them. Or just have another conversation...even just sit in silence. Even just see them through a window!

She pulled off her dress and threw it to the tiled floor. She then fully undressed and walked across the cold marble and into the shower. It was scolding hot, but she didn't care. It washed away the lonely feeling that had settled over her.

Everything felt strange now. Ever since she'd left. She hadn't realized it then, but now she knew; she couldn't live properly without them. She missed every single one of them.

She missed Hotch. She missed his caring authority, the way that whenever he was around, you couldn't help but feel safe, and the fact that even though he had gone through so much, he remained who he was. She even missed him telling her off.

She missed Rossi. She missed his joking, sarcasm and judgements. He was always honest with his opinions...painfully so. She missed him tossing crumpled up paper across the plane at her. She missed the way he quoted historians as though it was nothing.

The hot water rolled off Emily's back and seeped into her skin, warming her cold skin.

She missed JJ. She missed her light smile, her melodic laugh, and her sweet hugs. She missed the way she showed up at Emily's desk with Chinese food when they had extra paperwork. She missed the fact that she could talk to her about literally anything.

She missed Morgan. She missed his jokes, his pet names and his teasing. She missed how tough he was, but also how utterly loving. She missed the way he looked out for her. She missed his temper, his swearing and even the fact that he didn't know when to stop teasing.

Emily rotated in a circle, letting the water cover her evenly, and scold every inch of her skin.

She missed Garcia. She missed her spunk, her cheer and her light. She missed her bright clothes, cute nicknames and long messages. She missed being able to call her and hear "You've reached the office of supreme knowledge." And on top of all that, she missed her hair.

Most of all, she missed Reid. She missed his sweater vests and leather shoes. She missed his random facts and need to be right. She missed the way her swallowed before going on a long, scientific rant. She missed his physics magic. And she even missed being corrected every five seconds.

Yeah. To say she needed them, was an understatement.

She even missed Seaver. She didn't know her that well, but still, it seemed as though she was an important and loving person.

God, nothing was okay right now.

She wanted to see them so badly she physically felt it. But it just wasn't an option.

Or was it?

XXX

Oh hell no, this wasn't happening. They'd just had the phone call to Emily (which was still hard to believe) and now Strauss was here? Great. Just great.

Rossi was a calm man, on most occasions. But now was not one of those times. He felt heat rise in him as he got worked up unwillingly. Strauss was not doing this. Not now. Of all damn times.

Hotch had gone downstairs only 10 minutes ago, and now Will rushed into the room with Henry by his hand.

"That woman is worse than half the criminals I deal with." He said angrily, and stood still as JJ put a hand on his shoulder.

"Why is she here? Did she see what I did?" Garcia asked worriedly, one hand in Morgan's and the other in Kevin's.

"I don't know, all I got out of her was threats to me and all of you about losing our jobs and all the 'authority' she has." Will said irratably.

Rossi felt anger bubble inside him.

"What the hell is with her?" Ashley asked angrily, but then she obviously remembered that Henry was in the room. "I mean what the heck."

Rossi couldn't help the raised eyebrow he gave her. JJ looked at her with a mixture of disappointment and amusement on her features. Suddenly Garcia stifled a chuckle.

"Anyway, she's coming up here. Hotch is trying to stop her but...I don't think we can." Will explained with a large sigh.

"We'll just have to see how she feels about blackmail." Kevin said lightly and shifted awkwardly.

XXX

Reid curled into himself in his hospital bed, letting the sheets lie over him lightly.

His mind was going back through everything she had said. Every beautiful word in her beautiful voice.

Where's Reid? Is that why you're in a hospital? Oh my god what happened?

Reid? Oh my god I missed you so much. It's so good to hear your voice.

Spencer, I need to say something and you have to listen okay?

I am so, so sorry. I...I can't even begin to describe how sorry I am. And I'm not just speaking to you Reid, I'm talking to all of you. If I had just gone to you guys, and trusted you about Doyle, absolutely none of this would have happened. And...god, none of you would have gone through this. I...I...

I know. I know, and I'm so sorry.

Reid... I...

Before you...you hate me, and trust me I understand if you do, could you please just let me explain one thing?

And so on and so forth. It sounded like she cared. Well, maybe she did, right? No, she couldn't. Yes, she could. No...yes...no...yes...maybe...a little...somewhat...not at all...yes...no...

Fuck, he didn't know anything anymore. He gave up trying to figure that part out.

Maybe he should just think about what he cared about. He cared about his family. And his friends. He cared about his mom, his godson and his team. Most of all, although he wasn't sure why, all of a sudden he cared for Emily. With a passion he'd never felt before.

He assumed that by being deceived in such a way, your heart and mind sort of...grows around that person. Then upon finding out they're...alive, it sort of completely revolves around them, and you can't go two minutes without them crossing your mind.

His mind wandered the pale room. Nurse checked on him. Her perfume was like Emily's flowery scent. There was a painting on the wall of a snowy landscape. Somehow, Reid's mind went to polar bears; one of Emily's favourite animals. Even he reminded himself of Emily. His hands were shaking and every 15 minutes or so, he's be sick. He had managed to look in the mirror when rushing to the bathroom a few moments ago. The circles under his eyes were enough to look like bruises. Just like the ones Emily got at the ranch during the hostage situation...

No. Stop.

He didn't want to lose himself in those memories anymore. He was determined to stop thinking about it, really. Okay, deep down he knew that was pointless, but seriously, he could try, right?

He let his eyes follow doctors through the glass windows, secretly profiling each one. A nurse with blond hair smiled at each person who came to the desk, but dropped it foully the second they left. She worked here for the money and status, not the people.

A doctor with dark skin and gray hair was going out of his way to speak to every patient he could. He did this to feel better about himself... like he was making a difference. Obviously at home he was low down on the food chain, and had little respect given to him.

Another nurse walked by at that moment, and waved cheerily to him. Reid didn't move. Her smile never faltered. She continued down the hall, smiling at everyone she saw. Either she had just received fantastic news, or she was the sunshine around this place.

Just like Emily used to be...

Stop it, Spencer!

He would never be able to stop thinking about her. Go back to profiling.

The next woman who walked down the hall didn't need to be profiled. Even an average citizen could she was a woman on a mission. She was visibly furious, and was fixing her hair to look more appropriate...superior.

This woman was Erin Strauss.

Without thinking, Reid curled further into a ball and turned his head from the door, hoping to dear god she wouldn't notice him. He wasn't ready for that. No noise entered his room, so obviously she had passed. He then realized his room was nearly right beside the waiting room.

Fear began to bubble in him until he was distracted by JJ's firm voice, along with Rossi's angry one.

And then the yelling started.

So!

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