I forcefully wiped at the tears that were clouding my vision as I ran far away from Jacob's house. I had no idea where I was going, all I did know was that I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to face my mother. She had left when the rest of the pack did, so I knew she would be home by now. I sighed as I came to the realization that I had no where else to go, so as much as it killed me to, I headed in that direction.

Fucking idiot. Stupid fucking dumb ass bitch. What the hell were you thinking? Seriously? You just practically admitted your feelings for Jake in front of the whole pack! Ugh! How the hell are you going to fix this?

My thoughts were spiraling out of control and I didn't know how to reign them back in. There wasn't a way to fix this. I had royally fucked myself to the end of my reputation.

The front porch light was on when I got home so I knew my mom was still awake. She always turned it off before she went to bed. I took a deep breath before walking into the house.

"Leah," my mom scolded as soon as I stepped through the front door. I closed it lightly and made my way into the living room.

I sighed as I sat across from her on the couch. "Mom," I answered back emotionless. I didn't plan on having to divulge any more information that I had to.

She shook her head and scooted closer to me on the couch. "What's going on with you?" she asked as she reached out and tentatively took my hand in hers.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I couldn't look my mother in the eye as I lied to her.

"Leah Rae Clearwater. Don't you dare lie to me," she scolded. "Out with it. Now!"

I sighed and looked up at her. "I . . . well . . ." I hesitated.

"Leah," my mother threatened.

"I have feelings for Jacob," I spat out quickly before looking up at her. I almost laughed at the look of utter discombobulation on her face. Actually I'm totally in love with him.

"You . . . uh . . . J-J-Jacob?" She furrowed her brows. "As in Jacob Black?"

I rolled my eyes as I yanked my hand from hers and crossed my arms over my chest. "Do I know any other Jacobs, Mom?"

She scooted back to her end of the couch with wide eyes. "Uh . . . no," she squeaked out, quickly composing herself as she cleared her throat. "I mean, no Leah. Jacob Black is the only Jacob you know."

I rolled my eyes before standing. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed now." I forced a smile, hoping she would let me leave.

She laughed. "I don't think so missy!" She pointed at the couch. "Sit. You've got a lot of explaining to do."

I grumbled to myself as I slowly sank back down onto the cushion. Bringing my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs, resting my chin on top of them. I sulked as I awaited the onslaught of questions that were about to fly out from my mother's mouth.

"Why?" She asked simply as she looked up at me.

I shrugged.

"Words, Leah. I know you know how to use them," she reprimanded.

I groaned before answering. "I don't know, Mom. It just kind of . . . happened. I can't exactly help who I have feelings for."

"When did you realize you had feelings for him?" Now she just looked concerned, like I was crushing on some bumbling idiot in high school.

"When I went to see him after the fight with the — you know." I was being short with my answers, not disclosing too much information.

"Have you told him?" She cocked a brow.

"Absolutely not!" I scoffed.

She chuckled lightly before responding. "Should have known the answer to that one. May I ask why exactly?"

"You know exactly why, Mother." I sassed. Bad move, Leah. Bad move.

"Actually, I don't. So why don't you tell me."

Holy shit, she sounded pissed. I sighed and tucked my chin to my chest, laying my forehead on my knees. "Because I can't risk getting my heart broken again."

"Leah, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable if you expect to ever find love and happiness again. Do you want to be alone forever?" she questioned sympathetically.

"No," I groaned. "But Jacob doesn't have feelings for me so what's the point of even telling him about mine?"

She had the audacity to laugh at me — again for at least the third time. "Seriously, Leah? It's fairly obvious that Jacob has some sort of feelings for you. I mean, he came running after you even though he was supposed to be bedridden. I can't even imagine what kind of pain he had to endure to make it through that."

"You don't even know, Mom," I interrupted, wincing as I remembered feeling Jacob's pain while he ran to me in wolf-form

"Exactly. And him standing up for you the way he did tonight? In front of the entire pack? Mouthing off to his Sam for you! If those weren't feelings, I don't know what they are, Leah." She cocked a brow as I lifted my head slightly to look at her.

"But what if the same thing happens with Jacob as it did with Sam? Sam loved me too until he imprinted. Jake could imprint too, Mom. At any moment, on any day. I can't take that chance!" I begged her to understand my reasoning.

"Not everybody imprints, Leah. You can't guarantee that he will. Why not take the chance?" She sighed when I didn't respond. "At least tell him how you feel. You can't keep this in forever."

I shook my head as I stood. "I can and I will. I'm not telling Jacob any of this — ever," I said as I hurried towards the stairs. I heard her sigh sadly as I reached my bedroom.

"Goodnight, Mom!" I called out to her as I closed my bedroom door.

I flicked the light on and instantly noticed that my mom had cleaned up the mess I had left behind. Thank God! I really didn't need the constant reminder of my freak-out that occurred no less than two days ago.

I looked down at myself, draped in Jacobs huge sweats. I sighed softly as I climbed into bed, deciding not to change into pajamas. I pulled the blanket over my body for comfort, then tucked my pillow between my arm and my head before closing my eyes.

Should I really tell Jacob or not? Is it worth the rejection if my mom is wrong about his feelings for me? I yawned and snuggled deeper into the covers.

It's definitely not worth the rejection. Nothing is worth feeling that way again, I concluded as I began drifting into unconsciousness.

I whispered into the still night's air as I dozed off into a dreamless sleep. "I love you Jacob Black."