A face only a mother could love

After the Brownie Affair, as it would be known as in the future, Amy's day did not go so well. She finished a fabulous lecture at Northwestern, and had to immediately hurry to travel to Boston. Navigating Chicago's O'Hare airport was a daunting task. It was Saturday, and there was a Cub's game in town that night. The airport was swarming with Cub's fans who had familiar look on their faces: Disappointed, yet hopelessly resigned to their fate. Amy used to have that same look when it came to her relationship with Sheldon. Now, her expression was different, giddy and buoyant. It was like she won the World Series after a 100 year losing streak.

The new intimacy with Sheldon was getting intense, and Amy was practically popping with anticipation over their next conversation. She had a long day of travel ahead. An hour of Brownie madness, the time difference plus a 3 hours in the morning lecture, 2 hours of airport transfers, 2.5 hour flight combined with a 1 hour travel time left Amy not getting to her hotel in Boston till after 10 PM east coast time. She was exhausted and frustrated. She really wanted to talk to Sheldon.

Sheldon was in the same state: Frustrated. He knew Amy was going to be playing planes, trains and automobiles all day, and all he wanted was to talk to her again. The constant interruptions were not helping his resolve.

After he finished his bowl of brownie batter, he started another batch that he actually cooked. The wafting smells from his apartment were teasing his noisy neighbors, especially one headstrong Nebraskan wannabe actress.

Penny and Leonard walked into 4A, without knocking, "Sheldon, what are you doing in here?" As soon as Penny saw him, she giggled. "Been cooking huh?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. But I am not sharing, so don't ask."

"I bet if I was Amy, you'd share."

"Well, you're not, and I would." He sticks his tongue out. "She should be calling soon. She is in Boston now." Sheldon slumped his shoulders as he put his private brownie stash in the fridge. Leonard noticed his friends demeanor.

"Hey buddy, why don't you get cleaned up and we can go to this comic book store, Legacy Comics in Glendale."

"I've heard of that from Stuart. It sounds pretty nice. I would like that. Maybe we stop by an art store. I want to pick up something."

"When do you talk to Stuart? I thought you hated him?" Leonard was confused, but he had seen Sheldon talking to Stuart more and more. In fact, he thought he saw him leave the apartment the other day. Sheldon has been very cagey on the subject.

"I don't hate Stuart. We're not friends. I only have 9 friends; however, he's not as repellent as first billed."

"As long as he isn't in a darken theater with Amy, that is." Penny thought, Jelly Shelly indeed.

"Anyone who be in a darken theater with Amy would be repellent."

"How is it going with Amy? After the laundry room thing, you guys seem to be getting along…Famously!" Penny was raising her eyebrows up and down in some attempt to throw a hint that Sheldon wasn't catching.

"Amy and I great. I wish she was here, though. However, talking to her on Skype has not been unpleasant. Tell me Leonard, did you talk much with Priya when she was in India before you lost her?"

"Yes, Leonard, pray tell us?" Penny was not amused as indicated by her crossed arms and death stare.

"First of all, I didn't lose Priya, I let her go. Secondly, I don't want to talk about what I talked with Priya about on Skype."

"Oh my, Leonard, you nasty boy! Did you have Skypesex? Oh, we have to try that!"

Sheldon was uncharacteristically interested, "What in the world is "SkypeSex"?"

"Skypesex is when you and your lady friend have a sexual encounter over Skype. You both…" Penny was nervous talking about the subject, especially given a seemingly interested Sheldon Cooper. Leonard was also listening with baited breath. "You both… You know… Tell him Leonard."

"Oh no, not me. This is your show." Leonard didn't want to talk about his utter failure at Skype. It was a nightmare; as soon as he started the sexy talk, her parents were there. Nothing say flaccid like the sound of a mother's voice.

"Okay, Sheldon… You and your partner… You know… play with yourself, you know, like in front of each other."

"Like Jenga or dominoes?"

"No, not Jenga! Like you know, play with yourself." Penny looked down at his crouch, "… touching yourself, and she touches herself. You know!"

"No, I … Oh… Touching… Oh my…"

"Now you got it. It is supposed to be super sexy. Women love that kind of thing. I heard a woman can get an orgasm from words alone, hot huh? So Sheldon… Why the sudden interest?" Sheldon didn't seem to hear Penny's question.

"Hmm. What, oh scientific curiosity. You're the one who brought it up. I was just making conversation. " Sheldon shifted uncomfortably in his spot, trying not to think about giving Amy an orgasm with words alone. Given Penny's description, it seems he and Amy have been leading up to Skypesex. Oh boy, Sheldon thought, verbal coitus is one thing, but touching each other in front of each other? That's a whole new level.

"Strange conversation topic for you Sheldon. Could it be that you and Amy are taking things to next level?"

Sheldon thought, what she can read minds too? Must be a woman thing. "No, Penny. Amy and I are fine. We are getting more comfortable with each other that's all."

"Well, the more comfortable you get, the sooner you'll realize how nice it is to be someone you love. You'll see, Sheldon."

"But I am with Amy?" Sheldon was confused, yet again.

"NO Sheldon…WITH someone. You know, intimately." Penny could tell Sheldon was completely uncomfortable. She thought, maybe he needs to talk to Leonard. She can get the details later. Leonard was always good at dishing out the dirt on Sheldon.

"I'll be right back. You guys stay and talk."

Leonard looked over at his friends wringing hands, and sweating brow. "What's gonna on, buddy. Are things heating up with Amy?"

"Leonard, as much as I would NOT like to talk to you about this, it seems I am out of my depth. Things, are as you say, heating up. What is surprising … I don't… Mind…"

"That is the first step Sheldon. Is she pressuring you?"

"Not at all, in fact, she has taking all the requirements for intimacy off the table. She is letting me control everything."

Leonard thought, god, Amy is a genius, "That's great, you can take it at your own pace. You should be thrilled."

Sheldon thought about it, "Actually, I am. For the first time in my life, I am thinking about the possibility of getting physical with someone. It is scary and exciting at the same time. I just hope I don't blow it."

"OH, that. Well, that is whole different topic. Sheldon, don't worry. Amy is so in love with you, you can't screw it up. Bad Pun… I mean, you'll be fine. You have a lot of time to think while she is away. "

"Her being away is most unpleasant and rather frustrating. Frankly, I hate it. At least I can see her every night. That's been, interesting."

"What do you mean?" Leonard was leaning forward dripping with curiosity.

"Nothing, just interesting." Sheldon would say nothing more, he said too much as it was. "Let's go the comic book store."

"Okay buddy, but you might want to clean off the brownie batter off your face."

"Leonard, I sat here the whole time and had that on my face? You didn't tell me?! Some friend!" Sheldon ran to the bathroom to clean up. Leonard was lamenting not taking a picture of a smeared faced Sheldon talking about sex. Things have changed.

Amy was settled into her less than adequate room. The hotel was going through maintenance, and their internet was down till after midnight. Amy sulked, SO much for seeing Sheldon's blue eyes tonight. Before bed, she decided to call Sheldon. It was 8:00pm California time; his Laundry night.

"Good evening Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Hello Sheldon Cooper. Am I interrupting laundry night?"

"Not at all, I can talk to you and fold. I am very good at multitasking."

"I'm sure you are." The statement hung in the air, dripping with innuendo.

"Is your new domicile more comfortable? No temperature problems?" Sheldon was hoping she was sitting a hot sauna, sweating and naked.

"Actually it is hot here again. I am not used to this humidity." She let out a slight barely audible moan.

"What are you wearing?"

Really? Kinda cliché, but what the hell, "You know, the usual. That sweater you like, the green one…. My.." Sheldon cut her off.

"Take off you sweater. In fact, take off everything."

"What? Everything?" Amy was shocked, he just is going for it.

"Yes, you should take a cool bath. I can still talk to you. Put me on speaker."

"Okay."Wow Amy thought, Sheldon Cooper telling me to take off my clothes, again. Hoo." That sounds nice." Amy put the phone on speaker and started taking off her sweater. "How was your day?"

"Is it off yet?" Sheldon was very commanding not giving into idle chit chat.

"Yes. I'm working on the blouse."

"Good."

"I should start the bath."

"After you undress."

"Okay. I'm almost done."

Sheldon was looking at this watch. "Hurry up."

"Okay, just about, " He heard her sighing as she pulled off her tights. "Done."

"Good." 18 seconds. Told you I could get you undressed in under 20 seconds, Ms. Fowler. "Now you don't have a bath thermometer, as much as I have told you to pack one, so you will have to wing it."

"Should I get the ice bucket?" Amy was still feeling the twinges from her encounter with Sheldon in the morning. She had never been so excited in her life, but the night is young.

"No, not this time. Make sure you have enough bubbles. Put your hair up. "

"This bath is taking forever."

"Go lie on the bed while you are waiting. I will tell you when to check it."

Sheldon could hear her sigh as she laid back on the bed. "I hope I don't fall asleep, it's been an exhausting day."

"If I was there, I would make you a beverage, and draw your bath. This will have to do. Do you have a magazine next to you? Use it fan yourself."

Amy did as instructed, "Oh, god that feels good."

"Fan your chest now."

"Hoo."

"Go lower."

"Okay, oh, my legs are hot from those tights. I need to throw them away. "

"You need to decrease your surface area of your body. Not be so cramped up. Spread yourself out on the bed. Spread your legs out and your arms. "

"Okay. That is better. I feel a little nervous being so spread open here."

"Well, it's just me, well, my voice at least."

"Yes, just your voice…" Amy was dying from arousal with just his voice. His tone was lower, commanding and dominant. It was intoxicating.

"Besides, I am just helping you cool off, remember?

"Oh, right. Just helping me." Amy voice had a twinge of disappointment. Sheldon could merely be helping her temperature regulation. It would be something that he would do under the nursemaid clause. The last bath he gave her when she faked being sick was so clinical. He didn't look at her, didn't show any excitement what so ever, even though she was stark naked in front of him. The bath he gave her during her rouse to get his attention was short lived. He was nervous to be with her in the bathroom, hiding her body with a towel as he helped her out of the tub. He did what he needed to do, and got out of the room as soon as humanly possible. This time, he sounded different. She couldn't see his face, but she hoped he liked thinking of her naked. A girl can dream.

"Bend your knees up and sit up on your elbows, arching your back off the blanket."

"OH, that is better, the blanket was hot."

"Stay like that for 45 more seconds, and then check you bath."

"Okay." Amy arched her back, circling her neck. She was trying to relax her body while tensing from the imagine of her lying in such a compromising position with Sheldon's voice blanketing over her body. Amy let out an audible moan as she turned her neck. "My neck is so stiff."

"The bath will help, then you will massage yourself. Go to the bath now."

God, he is so bossy. She loved it. He could tell her anything and she would do it. She completely trusted him. Sheldon heard her lift herself off the bed with a sigh and then a dripping sound as she turned off the faucet. She put her phone with Sheldon's face propped up in a dry and safe location. Her breath of echoed now, as her voice reverberated off the tiled walls. The bath was small compared to the one at home. It was the ideal amount of water, Sheldon calculated perfectly. She lowered herself into the bath. Sheldon could hear the sloshing sounds as she got comfortable.

"I'm in."

"I heard. Take the wash cloth and… Drat.. Hold on, my mother is calling…"

"Hello mother, what do you want?"

"Well, hello to you too, Shelly, is that anyway to greet your mother?"

"No, ma'am, I'm just talking to Amy. She is in Boston.

"I know Shelly, you told me her whole Itinerary, every detail, including a PDF of her presentation. Lord knows how that girl puts up with you, good thing she studies brains."

"Yes, yes, mom. What's gonna on?"

"Well, Shelly, are you in a hurry?"

"A little, yes. She and I were… Talking…"

"Well, she and you is what I want to talk to you about. Now, I heard you been pestering her to move in with you. Now Shelly, you know that will lead to sin. The good book says…"

"We are not Sinning! I just want her to live with me. Besides. You got some nerve talking to me about sinning. "

'Don't you start with me, now son. We've been down this road."

"MOM! I caught you and some neerdowell canoodling on the couch! Naked sex mother!"

"What I do is my business. I'm your mother. What you do is my business. Now, you and Amy..."

"Mother, Amy and I are not sinning." His voice was wavering with the implied, NOT YET. Mary Cooper was no fool. She knew things were different for Sheldon since he returned from his trip.

"Shelly, you can't con a con man. I know somptin gonna on, now. You best be tellin me. " Mary Cooper actually would be thrilled if Sheldon was intimate with Amy, but under the sanctity of marriage. She never thought her little boy would ever grow up enough to like a girl, let alone lie to his mother about her. She had a strange soup of pride and worry mixed with hope.

"MMMAAAAAAAAAAAA! I don't want to talk about Amy and me now. Let me call you laaatttterrr…" Sheldon had a Doctorate in impatience with a master's whining.

"No Shelly Bean. You best be tellin' me right now, are you two sinnin'? I wont abide to sinnin', I don't care how old you are, I will take you over my knee. Now what's gonna on? She's been spending the night? You two share a bed?"

"Oh god." Sheldon held his head. Will the nightmare ever end? "Yes, we slept in the same bed, no we didn't sin. I still don't see how it is any business of yours what I do. You are the poster child for hypocrisy mother."

"Don't be sassing me, boy. I'll slap the taste out your mouth. Now, I know you love this girl, but before you go too far, you need to think about marriage. Now, I was thinking.."

"Mother, I am not having this conversation with you now. Good Night. " Sheldon hung up on his mother. He noticed Amy was still on the other line. He hit the call button to hearing her heavy breathing. She was sleep in the tub. "Amy?"

"OH, Sheldon. I'm sorry. I fell asleep." Amy's bath had turned cold and her bubbles were all popped. She was freezing now. The cool bath did the trick, but not the kind of trick she was hoping to have.

"I'm sorry Amy. My overly concerned mother called me and wouldn't let me off the phone."

Amy teeth were chattering as she got out the words, "Sheldon, I'm freezing. I am going to take a hot shower."

"Will you call me when you're out?"

"Alright."

As Sheldon hung up the phone, he only had about 5 seconds to stew in his disappointment before his phone rang with his mother's number again. "Yes, Mother."

Barking at him, "Did you, Sheldon Lee Cooper, just hang up on your mother? Or am I in some kind of crazy town?"

OH, you're in crazy town alright, "Yes mother I am sorry. I am very frustrated that you are commenting on my relationship with Amy. She is very important to me, and I will not have a conversation about our future together with anyone but her. Especially before I talk to her. So, if you will forgive me, I would like to get off the phone now. "

"Well, Shelly, you sound so grown up. I remember when you were just a scared boy, too freaked out to talk about girls. Now look at you."

"That was a long time ago, Ma."

"No, Sheldon, that was last spring. Not too long ago. You've grown up, boy. It's good. Just make sure you think of the lord in all things you do."

Oh, man, that is that thing I want to think about, "Yes mother. Now if you will excuse me."

"Good night Shelly.

"Night, Mom." Phew! Now, no more interruptions. Amy should call any minute.

Amy had her own problems concerning unwelcome, ill-timed phone calls. Within 2 minutes of her getting out of the shower, her phone rang. She thought it was Sheldon, so she answered it, "I am lying naked again on the bed."

A small female voice asked, "Amy? Why are you lying naked on the bed?"

"MOM? Why are you calling so late?" Amy was mortified. Even though her mother couldn't see her, she covered herself with a blanket.

"It's not that late, honey. Where are you?"

"Boston, I am doing a lecture tour." God I hope she drops the subject of the naked bed… OH man…

"Who were you expecting to call?" Amy thought, no such luck. Think Fowler:

"OH, um, Penny."

"PENNY? Are you giving into those lesbian fantasies of yours? Listen, one of the reasons I wanted you to date men was because I was worried you were going to switch teams. Now, if you are a lesbian, there's nothing wrong with that, but it is hard road. Now your cousin…"

"MOM! I am not a LESBIAN! GOD!"

"Well, honey, you seemed to…"

"MOM! Enough! I am with Sheldon. I told you that over Skype years ago."

"Yes, well, you can't con a conman. We both know that was a poorly veiled attempt to keep me off your back. I won't be surprised if he was gay. Listen, if you two have a marriage of convenience, that is not a good thing… Listen, your great Aunt Pauline.."

"Oh my god, MOM! Sheldon is not Gay! I am not a lesbian! We were just about to have phone sex, okay!"

"Honey, you don't have to lie to me. I am just thinking about the children. Now marriages of convenience are often rife with problems…"

"MOM! No one is getting married, no one is gay! I am hanging up now. Geez!" Amy was mortified. How can a simple phone go so wrong? She wrapped her in a thin hotel robe. It wasn't enough to cover her embarrassment. She was exhausted now, it was after midnight. She snuggled in the covers and called Sheldon.

"Hello."

"Hello. Sorry that took so long. It sounds like it was the night for mothers. Mine called me as well."

"OH, did she harass you as well? Mine did, AGAIN."

"Well, let me see… According to her, I'm a lesbian, you're gay and we should think of our children before we enter in a marriage of convenience."

"I'm not gay."

"I know that Sheldon, my mother's an idiot."

"No, I'm really not gay. Really." Sheldon was pretty adamant.

"I'm not a lesbian either, but facts seem to be fluid in a parental mind."

"Yes, according to my mother, we are sinning and going straight to hell."

"Well, if we're gonna anyway, we might as well have some fun."

"What do you have in mind?" He said with a sheepish grin.

Amy smirked and yawned, she tried to hide it, but exhaustion was flowing over her. "Well, I can't think of anything tonight, I'm too tired. I will leave the ideas to the creative one in this relationship. She yawned again, "I think the internet is back. Maybe I can say good night in person."

"That would be great. I am back in the apartment now. Call me when you can." Sheldon was already in his pajamas. He looked to the clock. It was 1 am in Boston. He should let her sleep. Besides, his mother killed his mood. Within 2 minutes Amy called back. "Hello Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Hello." Her eyes were droopy and she was wrapped up in a hotel blanket. He could tell she was wearing a robe and nothing else. Sheldon thought she looked so sweet, lying on her side, snuggled in her foreign bed. "I am sorry I am so tired."

"Never apologize for being tired. I should apologize for wasting our time with parental hogwash."

"Well, what can you do? Mom these days, huh?"

As Sheldon watched her arch her back in a overtly sexy yawn, he blurted out, "Amy, I'm really not gay."

"Sheldon, I know and when I get back, you can prove it over and over again. Don't worry."Amy pulled off her glasses, and put them on the nightstand. " Now, I better get some sleep. I wish you were here, but you would hate it. The tub is a claw foot."

"Ug, monster tub. I am glad you had a bath though. Hopefully, we can have our date tomorrow night, and nothing comes up again."

Amy was almost asleep, "That would be great… Tell me a story Sheldon, I love to hear your voice."

Sheldon lowered his voice and started, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…" As he relayed the first ten minutes of Episode 4, Amy was fast asleep. He heard her breathing heavy and watched her chest rise and fall with each breath. Sheldon wasn't aware how long he watched her sleep, before she flipped off her blanket. She was wearing a hotel robe that had come undone.

Her breathing was heavy with deep sleep. She turned her body slightly so her back was on the bed, but her hips were on the side. Sheldon could see the curve of her breast peaking through her robe, down a narrow slit that showed her stomach and her light pink panty line. Amy turned a little and her robe fell open, reliving her half breast to him. He could make out her soft curve of her chest, her rose nipple that had tempted him before. Her neck and cheeks were lined with a faint hint of peach fuzz. She moaned slightly and turned on her side. Just then, her battery must have died, because the call was dropped.

"I am so not gay."

Author's notes: I really wanted to put in a comment here. Thanks so much for the reviews. It really puts a huge smile on my face every time I get a notice that you guys are reading my story. Thanks again!