Pieces

Chapter 14

Kitatanya

A/N: No note here except to say, THANKS FOR READING!

READ ON, LOVES!

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Steven stopped just beside the warp pad. "Um. Maybe I should heal that before we go. And you should clean up too. That way Pearl won't freak out as much when she finds out what happened."

Jasper repaired her armor with a thought and turned to him. She obligingly raised the hem of her shirt and tried not to focus on the fact that it was spit he was smearing there. Even if it was a useful skill, it was still disgusting.

"How about we just... not tell her?" She asked, only half joking.

Steven smiled ruefully. "It's better to just get it out of the way early. She always finds out."

Jasper grunted and tucked her top back in as the healing spit finished it's work. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Then he sighed. "Time to face the music." They stepped onto the pad.

Jasper felt a bit guilty that he would be in trouble for coming after her, and even more guilty that she was glad he still had, even though he'd known he would. They were silent as they warped back to the house. Jasper was ready for a lukewarm greeting at best as she and Steven materialized on the warp pad inside the house, but was surprised when she was met with a cry of delight.

"Jazz! You're back!" Amethyst yelled from the kitchen.

"Told you I knew where she was." Steven said in a cocky manner. The purple gem jumped over the counter and ran to give him a high five, before turning to hold up a fist at the warrior gem.

Jasper grinned down at her, feeling lighter than she had in days as she bumped Amethyst's fist with her own. "I got bored, so I let him drag me back." She joked.

Amethyst giggled. "Finally, someone with a sense of humor. It's been a real drag since you left."

The door opened and a frantic looking Pearl burst inside. "Amethyst! Tell me the truth! Where is he? He was not at Fish-Stew Pizza!"

"Chill out, Pearl! He's right here!"

Pearl only them seemed to see Jasper and Steven. A look of profound relief crossed her face, before she scowled. "You left without telling me!" She scolded.

"Aw, Pearl! I was fine! Jasper and I fought off a corrupted gem all by ourselves!"

Jasper winced as Pearl seemed to inflate with fury. "You did what!?"

"Yo! Nice one!" Amethyst cheered, clapping him on the back.

"Amethyst! Don't encourage his reckless behavior! What if he'd been hurt?"

Jasper felt slightly insulted. "I was with him. He was safe." Pearl glared at her and Jasper stood her ground. She knew that Pearl was possessive about Steven, but she was just as capable a protector as the slender pearl.

"She's right, Pearl. She even may have found an answer to our problem."

Pearl blinked and seemed confused and a little less mad. "She what now?"

Steven nodded. "Something may be causing the corrupted gems and mutations to lose control of themselves. That's why so many are coming out of hiding all at once."

Pearl scoffed. "Oh, be serious. Those creatures have no control to lose."

Jasper's jaw dropped. "Those were gems just like us once!" She cried on outrage.

Pearl blinked at her, shocked by her outburst. "Of course they were, but they aren't anymore and thinking of them as the gems they once were is an insult."

"Insult?!" Jasper snapped. "The gems they were are still in there! They're just confused. They don't know why they are the way they are, but they are who they are when given the chance. Even if it's different, its not bad!"

Pearl shook her head. "I've been on this planet since the corruption started! Centuries ago! Don't try to tell me what corruption does to gems. Do you know how many of my friends are corrupted now? How may gems I knew both before and after it took them over?!" Tears filled her eyes. "They don't remember what they are, much less who! They're reduced to nothing but creatures with simple goals and, if left to roam unchecked, they could cause massive damage to this planet and to mankind!"

Jasper shook her head. "I'm not saying you're wrong, but if the corruption has been going on for that long and there are no new gems coming to earth, then why only now are some of them coming out of hiding? Some of them have to have been living perfectly peaceful lives, not hurting anything and far removed from humans for at least that long." She stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm not saying that they shouldn't be put into stasis for their own safety and the safety of others, but treating them like animals is wrong."

"You're one to talk." A familiar voice spat. Jasper looked to see Peridot standing in the doorway to the bathroom. She stepped into the room and closed the door before Pumpkin could follow her out. "You were treating them even worse than most humans treat animals. You had them in cages and were torturing them."

Jasper hung her head, heart aching as she was reminded of one of her most evil acts. "I was wrong." She whispered.

"You what?" Peridot said in disbelief.

Jasper felt tears fill her eyes: angry, guilty tears. "I was wrong!" She yelled. "I was wrong about a lot of things! I can't change who I was! But I can change who I am! And I know now that they are more than just creatures."

"And why should we believe you?" The green gem snapped.

Jasper looked up, glaring into Peridot's eyes through her tears. "Because I know what it's like to be one now!" Peridot's face went pale and her eyes were so wide they looked like they'd bug from her head. Jasper could have stopped there, but she was so angry and she had had enough of Peridot and Pearl being suspicious of her. She was doing her best to be nice, but she would not be silent any longer. "And even now that I'm healed and trying to live a better life and trying to somehow find a purpose outside of the evil that was all I've ever known, I am constantly reminded of all of the bad things I did. I know what I did! And I'll carry it with me until I shatter." She looked at Pearl. "I may have been on the wrong side for as long as you've been on the right one, but at least I am trying to change, trying to see things a new way. And every moment I try, I have to wonder if I truly even deserve the chance to try, because all I've ever done before was wrong!" She looked away as her tears started to fall in earnest. "Can't I at least try to be right before you decide I'm wrong?" She asked quietly.

Tense silence was her only answer. She was thankful. She wasn't quite sure how she would respond to another harsh statement in that moment. She clenched her fists and walked through the heavy silence to the door. She opened it and looked back at Steven.

"I'll be on guard outside if you need me." She rasped around the lump in her throat.

Steven stared at her with wide, tearful eyes. "Okay, Jasper." She nodded at him and closed the door with a soft, but decisive click.

The smell of the sea greeted her like an old friend and seeing the waves stretching before her, lapping and curling in the sun was just as breathtaking as the first time she had truly looked at it. She felt more tears build, but they did not fall. They were a different kind of tear. Happiness and sadness warred within her.

Lion had been napping in the sun outside the door, but her exit had woken him. He rolled to his feet and huffed a greeting, butting his head into her side. She laughed around the urge to cry as he wound himself around her, rubbing his warm side against her, purring loudly as she began to stroke him.

"I'm glad to see you too, Lion." She said softly, leaning towards him as she ruffled his mane.

He looked up at her and blinked, before lifting his head to rasp his tongue over her cheek, drying her tears with his rough tongue. He huffed again and she could swear that he sounded concerned. His eyes were confused and the soft look in them was her undoing. She fell to her knees as her tears started to fall in earnest again.

She was ashamed of her outburst at Pearl and Peridot, no matter how justified it had been. She didn't even want to know if Lapis had heard; didn't even want to know where she was. Steven was happy to be near her and so were Amethyst and Lion. If the others couldn't accept her, then they didn't have to. She did not have anything to prove to anyone but herself. But that did not mean that it did not hurt her and her pride was meaning less and less as she walked forward in this new life. So, when Lion cuddled against her trying to comfort her, she let him and when her sobs could no longer be silent, she did not try to contain her voice. Steven said that there was no shame in admitting pain and she had contained hers for far too long. She sat in the sun and she let herself cry and did not care who heard or saw her.

How long she cried, she didn't know, but eventually, the tide stopped. Lion stayed curled against her, softly purring and she reached over to pet him as she watched the waves through the railings of the porch. She could hear seagulls off in the distance and the distant sounds of the human city. She could hear the faint sounds of talking from inside, or maybe it was Steven's television, she couldn't be sure. The sound of the sea overlapped it all, tying it all together in a symphony of life. She found herself smiling. She had missed it.

She leaned her head back and looked up at the sky, happy to see the great fluffy clouds that seemed to contain so many shapes since she had learned about imagination with Steven. Tonight, the sky would be full of stars and the moon would dance on the waves and she would be here, ready to protect Earth from anything that threatened this new kind of peace she was only just beginning to enjoy.

It didn't matter if she deserved a second chance. She had one now and she would not waste it. She would do what she could to be a good gem, a good person, and no matter what came of it, at least at the end, she could say that she tried.

Not long after she'd calmed, the door opened and Garnet stepped outside. Jasper smiled tentatively up at her, surprised at how happy she was to see the fusion, but unsure of her reception. Garnet smiled hugely down at her and Jasper felt a wash of relief. "Glad to have you back, Jasper." She said softly.

"Glad to be back." She replied honestly.

"I hear you and Steven had an interesting day at the Beta Kindergarten."

Jasper chuckled softly. "You could say that." Then she sobered. "Did Steven tell you about what happened with my loss of control?"

Garnet nodded. "And how much more it seemed to affect the corrupted gem than you. You were able to fight it longer than she was and were more able to keep your head when he joined the fight."

Jasper blushed and looked away. "She let us win at the end though. She let me take her gem to stop the fight." She could see those tearful green eyes again in her mind like they were right before her.

"Did she now?" Garnet asked softly.

Jasper nodded. "She didn't want to hurt us, but she knew she couldn't stop. And as soon as she poofed, my head was clear again." She looked back up at Garnet. "What could it mean?"

The fusion's lips were pursed. "I don't know. We're going to go to the Beta Kindergarten and investigate. Peridot is going to check the basic operation software there for activity. Pearl is going to help her while Amethyst and I search the surrounding terrain. I need you to stay with Steven in case there is more activity here." Then she smiled. "Or to supervise him if he decides on another outing."

Jasper nodded and stood, glad that Garnet trusted her to keep Steven safe. "Affirmative." Lion stood and shook himself, before yawning hugely to follow them as they went inside.

Amethyst, Peridot and Pearl were standing on the warp pad already, waiting for Garnet. Amethyst waved, but neither Pearl or Peridot looked at each her. She returned Amethyst's lighthearted wave, ignoring Peridot and Pearl in turn, and looked up to see Steven watching his television. Lion had already made himself comfortable on Steven's bed and seemed determined to finish his nap. Cat-Steven curled up on top of him, little body rising and falling with his breath.

"We'll be back soon. We love you!" Garnet called to him as she stepped onto the pad with the others.

Steven looked down at them all and smiled. "Love you too! Be safe!" He called back.

Garnet blew him a kiss and activated the warp. After a flash of light, they were gone. As soon as it faded, Jasper heard Pumpkin scratching at the door of the bathroom.

"Can I let Pumpkin out?" She asked Steven in a half yell.

"If Peridot asks, I let her out when I went to the bathroom." Was his answer.

She grinned and went to release the whimpering creature. Pumpkin burst from the door in a flurry of happy barking and bouncing. She ran across the room a few times, barking madly, before coming back to stand at Jasper's feet, panting happily. Jasper laughed at her energetic antics.

"Someone was cooped up for too long."

"Yeah, Peridot has been spending much more time in the bathroom since Lapis came back. And she hasn't been letting her out to play as much with all the craziness going on. It's made scheduling bathroom time... difficult." He sighed.

"Where is Lapis, by the way. "Jasper asked, trying and failing to keep her voice normal.

Steven blinked, snapping from his thoughts. "Oh, that's right. You don't know about the barn."

"Barn?" She asked, confused.

"Yeah. That's where Lapis lives. Peridot used to live there too, before she left."

Jasper remembered Peridot telling her that. "So why isn't Peridot staying there now?" She asked.

He squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, I don't know if it's really my place to say much, but... she and Lapis sort of had a falling out before Lapis left and, when she first came back, it seemed like they were ready to patch things up. Peridot actually took Pumpkin and went to stay with her for a few days. But... they came back. It didn't work out."

Jasper looked away, a mix of emotions playing through her. She didn't really know what to say. She was still a little angry at Peridot, but was sad for her too. And for Lapis. She didn't really know how close Peridot and Lapis had become, but she knew that they had at least been friends, if not more. It must hurt for them to not be able to be together anymore.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Steven looked a little sad too. "Yeah... it sucks. But maybe one day they can work things out. Friendship is great, but it does take work. I just hope they keep trying."

Jasper nodded, but her thoughts were not really in agreement with him. Some things were too big to forgive. Some relationships were too broken to repair. Maybe Lapis and Peridot might be able to repair theirs, maybe not. There was no hope for her.

"What's wrong?" Steven asked her.

She shook her head. "Just thinking."

He hummed. "Bout what?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Prying again, little Rose?"

"Would I do that?" He grinned at her, batting his lashes in a demure way that she thought should have seemed out of place for a male to do, but that he pulled off perfectly.

"Yes." She took tow steps and jumped up to his room and sat down with her legs dangling over the edge. "But I'll let you this time."

Maybe sharing her feeling with him would help with her feeling about Lapis, just like it had helped with other things. And, for some reason, she suddenly very much wanted to talk about them. Maybe it was the fact that she knew that they were alone. Maybe it was because she was confused about so many other things, that this one seemed less confusing in those ways and more confusing in different ones. Maybe it was because she was still tender from the events of today. Whatever the reason, she wanted to share with Steven and knew he wanted to listen.

"So what's up?" He asked softly.

"I was thinking about Lapis."

"You think about her a lot, huh?" He asked gently.

She blushed. "I guess. I don't really know why though. Is it... bad that I think about her?" She asked, feeling less sure of herself now.

"Are the things you're thinking bad?"

She shook her head quickly. "No... maybe... it's just... they're not things I ever thought I'd think. I think a lot of things I never thought I'd think now." She admitted softly.

"Like what?"

She shrugged. "Lots." Then she sighed. "I want to talk to her, even though I know I can't. That it would be bad to try, but I still want to."

"That's great!" He exclaimed, sounding happily surprised. "Talking to Lapis could be really good for both of you! Why would you think that's bad?"

Jasper hung her head. "Be cause she hates me."

Steve sighed. "Well, I don't know if she hates you... but she is definitely still mad at you." He said quietly. "But she's mad at the old you; the way you used to be. She doesn't know this you yet."

She shook her head again. "But I'm still me no matter how much I've changed." She sighed around a sudden tightness in her throat. "You heard what Peridot said. You saw the things I did. Heard the things I said. I was awful to Lapis..." Her eyes were burning with tears.

She heard Steven move and felt his hand come to rest on her shoulder. "She was awful to you too, Jasper." He whispered.

"With reason!" She said earnestly.

"You had your reasons too. Two wrongs don't make a right. But where the blame lies isn't what you need to focus on."

She was incredulous. "Then what should I focus on?" She rasped.

"Making the wrong into a right." He said firmly. "I'm not saying it won't be hard, or that it'll all work out right away, but I really, truly think that if you gave Lapis a chance, she'd surprise you."

Jasper felt hope rise in her chest and almost immediately tried to fight against it, because it hurt, because it couldn't be real. "How?" She asked, not really expecting him to have an answer.

"Because Lapis isn't the same Lapis you knew either. She's different now too. And I think that she would give you a chance, if you really showed her you were willing to try."

Jasper's heart was pounding as the feeling of hope swelled at his words, even though she still didn't fully believe it. "I wish you were right." She said softly.

Steven chuckled. "I know I'm right." Then he made an excited sound. "Actually, I have a few I haven't showed you yet! From before Lapis left. Of the barn and her and Peridot and me and Pumpkin. You'll like them." He crawled around to sit beside her and dug his phone out of his pocket.

Jasper sat beside the happy boy as he manipulated the screen of his device, trying very carefully to think nothing at all. For some reason, she felt like she was on the precipice of something; like being on the edge of a massive abyss, but looking up at the sky, instead of down into it's infinite depths. It was strange and frightening and exhilarating all at once and she wasn't sure why she felt that way. She only knew that even thought it felt profound, it also felt fragile, like it might break if she studied it too closely. So she kept very still and tried not to think at all.

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Thanks so much for your continued support! I am SO happy to be back and able to write again. This story hasn't left my mind and I am beyond grateful that I still have the chance to write it and share it with you all. This journey SHALL BE FINISHED! I have abandoned almost every other passion to focus on this story-except for my pitiful attempts at learning the Baritone Ukulele (THE CHORDS SHALL BE MINE TO COMMAND). I hope that you will all continue to read and review. We still have a long way to go!

Be safe and read on! Until next time, loves! Ja!