Everything We Are - Chapter 14

by Kadi

Rated: M

Disclaimer: It's not my sandbox, I'm only visiting for a time.

Rusty came to her on Sunday. Sharon was seated on the deck, carefully observing the goings on in the pool. Rusty dropped into the chair beside hers and tilted his head at the trio that were making all of the noise. Ricky and Charlotte had decided to put the pool to use since they were there and it would be at least another day before either of them went back to their respective homes. Once they were in the water, it had only been a matter of time before Ian wanted to join them. He was a water baby. No one got into the pool without him. Rusty laughed quietly at the high pitched shriek that filled the air when he was tossed from brother to sister.

Charlotte fell back with him, and came up quickly, making a big splash. The kid loved it, but out of the corner of his eye, Rusty saw Sharon tense and grip the arms of her chair for a second, and then relax. She was like that. She winced when Andy tossed him into the air, only to catch him every time, and she laughed because Ian enjoyed it, but there was always that moment where her body tensed. Even now, she was chuckling along beside him.

"Do you ever think, that maybe if I hadn't been such a brat, your life would be a lot quieter?" Rusty glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "Like, maybe if I had just gone back to foster care, instead of home with you?"

She glanced at him, wide-eyed and confused for just a moment. It cleared quickly and her face softened. He was ready. Sharon shook her head. "Not even for a second, not in the way that I believe you're asking. I have no regrets, Rusty. Not about that, or about anything else that followed. Sure, we got off to a rough start, you and I. But I think it worked out." Her head tilted and she smiled gently at him. "Rusty, my life changed in a lot of ways when you came into it, and some of them may have happened anyway. Andy and Ian for example, but it wouldn't be complete without you. I do hope that you know that."

"That's what you tell me." He glanced at the pool again and shook his head. "I'd rather be here than pretty much anywhere, but you're not—" Rusty shook his head. "I'm not yo—"

"No." She reached over and touched his hand. "Rusty, no." Sharon understood now where his troubled thoughts had taken him. "You're mine," she said simply. "Not by birth, but by choice. It doesn't matter, Rusty, where you go or what you do. You will always be mine. If your mother walked back into your life tomorrow and you chose to make your family with her instead, there'd still be a place waiting for you here. You will always be part of us, honey." Her voice hitched and she looked away, toward the pool. Her jaw clenched, for just a moment, while she swallowed past the emotion tightening her throat. "Nothing else matters," she said more quietly.

Rusty looked down, focused on his knees because he had the same problem. He stared hard at them, blinking until he felt as though the pressure behind his eyes wasn't quite so desperate. "Even when my crazy relatives try to tear it all apart?"

It was asked so quietly, she almost didn't hear it over the playful laughter ringing from the pool. Sharon reached for his hand and gripped it. "Daniel Dunn has nothing to do with you, Rusty. He might have provided the means for your existence, but that did not make him a father. He is a man incapable of taking responsibility for his own failings. A man who needed to make others hurt to make himself feel better. That is no reflection on you, and if anyone should be sorry, it should be me for ever bringing him into your life. I've made a lot of mistakes trying to do what's best for you Rusty, and I can only ask that you bear with me, because I promise it gets better."

"You're kidding right?" He stared at her, eyes wide. "Sharon, I didn't know that there were actual moms that, like, did stuff like you do it until, you know, I came to live with you. Before that, I thought it was just… like… movies and television, and it wasn't real. It couldn't be real, because who actually does that! I thought it was all just fake at first, and then it was like you didn't even know you were doing it. Then I had friends, and their moms were like that too, and like, Lieutenant Tao's wife was like that with Kevin." He shook his head. "Where I come from, moms making mistakes, it's… it's just… you know, I think you're doing okay. I just… I feel like, I—"

"Have given me four kids to love," Sharon cut him off again with a warm smile. "I had two kids when we met Rusty. Now I have four, and that is all that matters as far as I am concerned. Honey, I know you feel about what Daniel did. That is what makes you exceptional." She paused for a moment, and then she gave him a watery smile. "And thank you, but Rusty, even with all of our challenges, loving you was never difficult."

He gripped his chair hard, but he nodded. Rusty stared back at her and tried to pick his words carefully. Finally he shook his head. "You're not fired." At her puzzled expression, he managed a small smile. "You told me, that first night. That it was kind of like… when you got good at being a mom, you got fired. You're not fired." He at least still needed her. Even if he didn't know how to say it.

Her mouth made a little 'o' of surprise. She thought back and upon remembering that conversation, Sharon nodded slowly. "Well good," she said, in a voice that had gone thick with emotion. "Because I have no intention of quitting."

"Good." Rusty shifted in his seat. "Me either." He slanted a sideways look at her. He didn't know what would happen if his mom came back, and he did always wonder about that. But she wasn't back. She hadn't tried. His life was different now, and he thought, if she didn't come back… it wouldn't change much. He'd stay where he was. When she reached over and gripped his hand, he let her. "You know," he added after a moment. "I think… it's still kind of new, and really different for me, but that whole dad thing. Can't be easy, but he might be doing okay."

"Hm." Sharon nodded slowly. "I think you could be right." She slanted a look at him and smiled. "Maybe one of these days you'll tell him that. That might be something he would really like to hear."

"Yeah," Rusty agreed. "One day." He flashed a knowing look at her. She'd tell him first, he knew. After two years, they just weren't there yet, he and Flynn. Almost, but they were just a couple of guys that did things at their own pace. It was different with Sharon, easier, for both of them.

"Rutthy! Rutthy!" Ian had spotted him, and from where he was seated atop Ricky's shoulders, he threw his arms up and shouted loudly.

"I'm going to have to go get in there," Rusty observed.

"You are," she agreed. "He's seen you now." Sharon let go of his hand and sat back with a smile. "Go on. We mustn't keep little prince waiting."

"Guess not." Rusty stood up. He took his shirt off and left it on the chair. He didn't toe out of his flip-flops until he reached the edge of the pool. Then he ran around the side and jumped in, his cannonball making a perfectly large splash.

He didn't know, couldn't know, because he never saw it, but the moment he leaped Sharon's hands gripped the arms of her chair tightly and she held her breath. She always did, only to relax again a second later when he resurfaced. She exhaled quietly, and smiled at Ian's loud, happy laughter. Her youngest was tossed from brother to brother, and once Rusty had him, he held on tightly. He wasn't clinging, it wasn't anxiety. It was trust. Ian swung around like a monkey to Rusty's back and his arms wrapped tightly around his neck. His legs went around his middle, and then across the pool they went. Ian laughed, but he held on, never having to fear that he would be dropped or let go of as Rusty swam from one end to the other.

She felt a hand touch her shoulder and she turned her face toward it, so that her cheek brushed his wrist. Sharon didn't need to look up to know that it was Andy. When his thumb reached up and caressed her cheek, her eyes closed for just a moment. She hummed quietly and reached up to curl her hand around his wrist. "Hi."

He was watching from the window. Andy had been about to join her when he saw Rusty drop into the chair beside her. He held back, hoping they'd finally have that talk. They seemed to. There might be more to come later, as they talked more in-depth about all that happened and what would come next, officially, but for the moment… it seemed to be enough. They both looked more relaxed. Andy watched the goings on in the pool for a moment before his gaze dropped to his wife. "Okay?"

"Mmhm." She smiled up at him. "Perfect." Her eyes still glittered brightly. Her shades were in her hair, had been since she sat down. "I was just watching our boys play."

The emphasis she put on it had meaning, and he nodded slowly. "Ah." Their boys. He glanced toward the pool, where Rusty had Ian. Yes, he supposed she was correct. Andy drew her up. "Come here." He drew her down the deck steps, closer to the pool and sat on one of the reclining pool lounges. He tugged her down with him, and sat with her between his legs, her back against his chest. Andy's arms curled around her and his lips dropped to her shoulder once they got comfortable. "Have I mentioned how much I like this?" He grinned as he fingered the strap of the sundress she wore over her own swimsuit. She wouldn't get in while the kids were playing, at least not yet.

"I think you might have," she smiled as her arm curled around his bent knee. She stroked his calf slowly. "Every time I wear it." It was such a simple thing, a little blue sundress that barely hit her knees, but fit comfortably over the two piece that she wore. Not a bikini, god no, not at her age, and not after three children with one of them far more recent than the others. It was a simple pair of well cut, black shorts and a fitted red top. Only her shoulders and much of her back would be bare, as the thin red straps tied behind her back. Andy enjoyed it well enough, and it was modest, chic, and age appropriate, even in her own home.

"Yeah, well, every time you wear it," his lips brushed her bare shoulder again. "I like it." Her bent knees were resting against the inside of his leg, where she sat, leaning slightly to one side so that they both had a good view of the kids. He tucked the skirt around her thighs, but his hand brushed the backside of her calf.

"Behave." She grinned. Her head was resting against his shoulder and she reached for his hand with hers and drew his arm around her to keep it from wandering. His impatient grunt had her chuckling. She gave his hand a light pat. "You can play later."

He sighed. "Yes dear." But a grin was tugging at the corners of his mouth. In the pocket of his khaki shorts, he felt his phone vibrate. Andy drew it out and glanced at the screen.

Where are you?

That was Provenza. Andy inclined his head and tapped out with the thumb of one hand Where are YOU?

Sharon snickered at the response. Front door, idiot.

Andy shook his head. "Figures." He didn't want to get up, however. He was entirely too comfortable. Instead, he smirked. Pool. Use the side gate, jackass.

"Oh my god, you two." Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "Could you ever communicate like normal people?"

He blinked at her. "What? This is normal," Andy shrugged.

Sharon just sighed. "I'm going to take your word for it." Normal for them perhaps. Even after all these years she found them damned odd.

What surprised Andy was not having his partner show up on their day off, but rather, that he was not alone. When they heard the side gate, Andy glanced over and found Provenza, followed by a few others as they made their procession through the gate and around the deck to where the pool lay. Each of them was carrying a grocery bag, and between Buzz and Sanchez, there was a cooler. Even Tao was with them, although he usually spent Sundays with his wife and Kevin, when he was home from college. Andy tilted his head curiously as the gang came closer.

Sharon exchanged a look with him. "What are they doing?" She asked quietly, so that only he would hear her.

"I have no idea," His hands settled against her hips as he prepared to set her away from him so that he could get up. "What is all this?" He asked, much louder, directing it at his partner.

"Uh, well…" Provenza handed a bag off to Buzz and walked toward them. "We thought that, you know, everyone has had a hell of a weekend… we'd celebrate the closing of a particularly difficult case. We've done that before." He waved his hands at them. "No, now, don't get up, don't get up. We can find our way around."

"Comfort food," Amy announced, holding up two shopping bags. "My grandma used to swear by good food and good company to get you through anything. So we stopped and we've got steaks and vegetables for the Lieutenant of course."

"Drinks." Sanchez nodded his head toward the cooler that he and Buzz were carrying up onto the deck.

"Dessert." Tao held up a plastic container. "Cathy couldn't make it, she's at a garden party this afternoon, and a baby shower this evening. She sends best wishes and good thoughts, and her cake."

"I've had her cake," Andy pointed out for his wife. "It's damned good cake." He shook his head at the others. "You all didn't have to do this…"

Despite being told otherwise, Sharon unfolded herself from Andy's lap and walked toward them. "Really, you didn't. It's your day off, you should be with your families, relaxing… certainly not worrying about us."

"We're not worrying," Julio stated quietly. "And… we are," he added, tossing a small smile at her.

"Right!" Provenza clapped his hands together. "So, let's fire up the grill, because by god if I had to spend three hours helping the idiot who doesn't even eat meat pick it out, I'm going to get some use out of it."

Sharon giggled quietly. It had taken them quite a while to decide on it, and as she recalled, the Lieutenant wasn't exaggerating in the least. "Alright then," she was smiling brightly. "At least let me show you—"

"Ma'am." Amy turned, fixed her with a stern look, or what might have been stern if her eyes hadn't been sparkling so brightly. "We can figure it out. Don't make me body slam you."

They all went silent. Until Sanchez began to snicker. "She'll do it too," he wheezed quietly. "One minute, we're just walking along, next minute… BAM! Guy went down hard. Like, he didn't even know what hit him. It was…it was pretty spectacular."

"Hm." Sharon's brows lifted. Her lips pursed. She clasped her hands in front of her. She felt Andy's hands on her shoulders and could feel him shaking with silent laughter. "I see." Her eyes narrowed while she watched Sykes. The girl's smile slowly faltered and then began to fade. "Amy, we really do need to discuss that," she said at length, voice calm. It was a tone they would recognize, from her FID days. "I am… incredibly disappointed." Sharon sighed. "I mean, we've talked at length before, proper footwear on the job. I simply can't have you wearing heels in the field if you can't walk a straight line. Although, I suppose if you had to fall it was very nice of Mister Dunn to break your fall. Remind me to thank him."

Behind her, Andy snorted and began to laugh at the look on Amy's face. He pressed his forehead against the back of her shoulder while his body shook with it. "Oh god, Amy…"

"Four years," Julio's fists went triumphantly into the air. "It only took four years and finally, she's one of us!"

Tao was nodding slowly. "We have corrupted her." He looked around at the others. "Our work here is complete."

"Oh, I'm sure she still has a few bad habits we can get rid of." Provenza walked up onto the deck. "Now, let's get to work. I'm starving." He tapped Amy's arm with the back of his hand as he walked past and grinned.

Amy turned, shaking her head, to follow the others. "She scared the crap out of me just then."

"Like I said," Provenza chuckled. "Bad habits. Although, we might let her keep that one."

"Definitely." Julio was still snickering. "It was pretty funny."

"Oh shut up." Amy shoved him as she walked past.

They watched them file into the house, headed toward the kitchen with their bounty. Andy kissed the back of her head. "Okay?" He asked quietly. She preferred keeping work and home separate, even if it was fairly difficult to do now.

"Hm." She craned her head back and smiled up at him. "I think so. They probably need it as much as we do."

"Yeah." He leaned down, caught her upturned lips in a soft kiss.

"For crying out loud, Flynn!" Provenza yelled from the house. "I don't care where we are, no body needs to see that!"

Andy growled quietly. Then he recalled that it was his damned house and he'd kiss his wife if he wanted to. He looped an arm around her waist and turned her, then he dipped her and planted his mouth on hers in a way that had the kids behind them groaning in disgust.

"I've got twenty bucks he throws his back out," Tao called.

"I'll take that bet," Amy chirped.

"Nah," Julio drawled. "My money's on Flynn."

"I don't know, that is mildly disturbing," Buzz decided.

"Oh gods!" Provenza groaned loudly.

She shook with laughter as she was righted. Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "You are incorrigible."

"Yeah, but that's what you like about me." His brows bobbed. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I have to go and kill my partner."

"Hm." She nodded. "Yes, have fun honey, don't make a mess." Sharon wandered back to the lounge chair to keep an eye on the kids, while Andy jogged up the steps of the deck. She drew her knees to her chest and rested her chin against them. Maybe, sometimes, it wasn't so bad when work followed her home.