Author's Note: Okay, who's ready for a mature scene???? I am. ;) Just to let you know, this is my first time doing anything this graphic, but I'm gonna give it a shot. So please be nice. ^.^;

But first, you have to get through some more Ryuk teasing, and some father/son bonding/"just shoot me right now" stuff. =)

Also, the poll on my profile is now closed, so you can go and view the results. Thank you to everyone who voted. I also put another one up 'cause I was just curious. And, this is my longest chapter yet. ^.^

Now, on with the story.

Warning: This chapter contains a mature scene. Any underage readers should skip over the designated part in this chapter, for it has Light having naughty thoughts and doing dirty, dirty things in the shower. ;)

*~*~*~*

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity

*~*~*~*

Chapter Fourteen

The pen quivered in Light's grasp, hovering a mere centimeter away from the page in front of him. He glanced back up to the lines with Watari and L's names adorning them. He sucked in a deep, shaky breath.

'I don't think I can,' he thought, images of the detective's face flashing through his memories, thousands of snap-shots of the pale man eating sweets, typing on the computer, glancing at him with obsidian eyes, and even a few of the rare times he slept when they were chained together. Those were his favourite memories. L had looked so peaceful, contrary to when he was awake, looking stressed and exhausted.

Then other images flew through Light's mind. Ones of him and L out in the rain and on the stairs, the feeling of their lips moving together perfectly, the electricity Light felt when their tongues had been about to tangle together. Then of L in the hospital, hooked up to vital monitors and IV drips.

Light's heart ached at those images. The pen quavered more in his hand, pulling away from the paper.

"Are you gonna do it or not?" Ryuk asked impatiently behind him.

Light jumped a little, turning around to face the shinigami. "Of course I'm going to do it," he snapped. "Why wouldn't I?"

Ryuk laughed with a taunting look on his face. "Because you have feelings for him," he replied.

"No I don't!" Light hissed, his eyes narrowing. How come everybody kept saying that? They had no idea what he felt!

"If you don't, then why haven't you written his name down yet?" Ryuk contradicted. "If you don't and you really wanted to kill him, you would've done it already." The shinigami flew around the room again. "You've been staring at his name for five minutes! You don't want to do it."

Light opened his mouth to retort, but there was a knock on the door before he could think of anything to say. Clenching his jaw shut, he closed the notebook and threw it in the drawer again. He put on a calm mask and shut the drawer. "Come in," he said smoothly, hiding his anger and frustration perfectly.

The door opened and Soichiro stepped into the room. He looked uncomfortable as he closed the door behind him.

"What is it, dad?" Light asked, sounding a little overly calm. Soichiro didn't seem to notice.

Taking a deep breath, Soichiro shoved his hands into his pockets, looking at the floor. "Well…. Your mother and I had been talking…." He shifted uncomfortably and Light began to feel uneasy. "Well, you kind of came up in the conversation."

"You and mom were talking about me?" Light asked feeling slightly offended.

"Not really," Soichiro said quickly, looking up at Light. He shuffled his feet, looking at some space behind his son's head. "We were just talking about relationships, and I mentioned that you may be pretty interested in someone."

Light let out a strangled little laugh. "Dad, mom already knows about Misa. And I'm honestly not that interested in her. But Ryuzaki thinks it's crucial to the investigation that I pretend like I do."

His dad cleared his throat. "Well, I know all that. But Misa wasn't who I told you mother about."

Light narrowed his eyes and a sinking feeling settled into his chest. "Who?" he asked cautiously, having the feeling he already knew.

"I told her it was someone on the investigation team…. A guy…."

Light stood up abruptly, his eyes wide. He had been pretty sure that's what his father had told his mother, but to know that was what he said came as a shock nevertheless. "You told Mom I'm gay?" he hissed, trying his best not to yell.

When he finally registered how he had said it—like he was accusing Soichiro of revealing a secret, not telling a lie—heat rose up into his face.

Soichiro seemed to notice Light's discomfort and didn't dwell on that point. "Yes. Well, no. I told her that I only think that's how you feel about him, not that you do feel about him."

It didn't escape Light's notice how his father emphasized the word him. He took a deep, slightly shaky breath.

"Light," Soichiro said, stepping forward a bit, and then stopped. He sighed, too, starting over again. "Light, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of people are homosexual."

"Dad," Light said, "I'm not gay." He just hoped that his words didn't sound as false and uncertain to his father as they did to him.

Soichiro nodded, obviously not believing Light's lie. "Okay, well, either way, your mother wanted me to come up and talk to you."

Wearily, Light sat back down. He then caught a flash of Ryuk in the corner of his eyes, floating over his bed. He ignored the shinigami, knowing that whatever what was going to happen, Ryuk was about to make it a million times worse for him. "About what?" he asked, pretending he didn't have a clue, when in reality, he knew god damned well what it was going to be about.

Soichiro walked over to the closet edge of the bed to Light and sat down. It took a few seconds for his to speak, trying to figure out how to start. "Light, you're at an age…." His father shifted on the bed and Light saw Ryuk now floating directly above his father, making faces at the unaware man. "Well, your age is pretty awkward. Your body is changing, and hormones and all…."

Ryuk had burst out laughing at 'hormones' and was now bouncing around the room. Light had he restrain himself from screaming at the annoying death god. "Humans are so strange," Ryuk stated, sitting upside down on the ceiling, still snickering.

"Dad," Light started, wanting his father out of his room as soon as possible. This would have been humiliating enough with just his father, but it was too much with annoying, nosy shinigami who was more than likely going to ask his tons of stupid questions when this was over with.

Soichiro wouldn't have it, though. "No, let me finish," he said, cutting Light off. "Your mother will kill me otherwise," he added to himself in a mutter. He sighed again. "Light, I am already aware that you know all about and have gone through puberty. But now that you're getting older and more into relationships, I just want to make sure that you're informed."

Ryuk was bouncing off the walls again, making it difficult for Light to concentrate on ways to get his father out of there as quickly as possible.

"Dad, I already know about sex," he blurted, his face heating up He hadn't even consciously thought that, but he guessed if he let his dad know that he already knew all about this, then there wouldn't be any reason for him to stay.

Soichiro nodded. "And by know about it…. Do you mean…?" The question was left to hang in the air, unfinished. But both of them knew what the other part of it was.

Light's flush deepened, knowing that what his father was really trying to ask was, 'Have you had sex before?' and more specifically, 'Have you had sex with L?' As that thought came into his mind, Light felt his heart speed up as certain images leapt into his brain, triggered by the words L and sex in the same sentence. As those thoughts whirled around his mind he felt his pants tighten.

'Fucking great!' he thought.

"No," he finally answered. "I've never…. I'm still a virgin."

"Well that should change soon," Ryuk said through his peals of laughter. "With your lovey-dovey feelings for L and all. Besides, you should get laid. You're too uptight."

Light ignored the shinigami and noticed a relieved look on his father's face. "Well, then," Soichiro said, shifting on the bed again. "Since it's not too late…. Before it is, we should talk about protection."

Ryuk started in on another laughing fit. "If its two guys do they need to even worry about protection?" he asked. He was rolling in midair, clutching at his stomach.

Again, thoughts of L pressing against Light flashed through the teenager's mind, making his pants even more uncomfortable. Then worse—or better, depending on how you looked at it—thoughts swamped Light's mind.

L's hands running across his bare skin, his cool lips trailing down his neck, their hips grinding slowly together, then L sliding slowly, slowly down, his mouth becoming fastened on the throbbing pain between Light's legs….

Light snapped back to reality, his pants very tight now. He found he was very grateful that he had crossed his legs when he sat back down.

"I know about condoms, too," he said quickly, hoping he hadn't zoned out for too long. Apparently he hadn't, because Soichiro didn't seem at all aware of the thoughts running ramped in his son's mind.

"Do you know how to use them?" his father asked, making Light flush darker yet. "How to put them on?"

"No," he admitted, desperate to get his father out. He was having a serious problem concentrating with the throbbing discomfort in his pants. "But it can't be that difficult." He suddenly saw a chance to end the conversation where it was and seized it before his father could take it any further. "And I doubt that you're going to show me how."

Soichiro shifted uncomfortably on the bed, obviously not too eager to go on with the subject any longer.

'Good,' Light thought.

"No, I'm not," Soichiro said. He cleared his throat, seemingly as eager to leave the room now as Light was to have him leave. "So if you don't have any questions…."

"No, I'm fine," Light said, the words sounding a bit rushed. He couldn't help it though. He needed his father out of the room. Now.

Soichiro stood up, walking toward the door. "Okay, then. I'll leave you alone." He turned the knob and opened the door and turned around. "Dinner will be ready in half an hour," he said, trying to defuse the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"I'm not hungry," Light lied. He was really starving, but he didn't want to share a room with anyone at the moment. Let alone his mom and dad, who were thinking about him having sex.

It was then he realized that Ryuk was no longer in the room. He wondered briefly where the shinigami had gone to, but then decided quickly that he didn't care.

Soichiro looked at him with an understanding gaze and nodded. "I'm sorry about that. You mother wanted me to…."

"It's fine," Light said.

Soichiro nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Light groaned and put his head on the desk, clenching his hands into fists in anger at himself. He had thought about L almost the entire time. And not just about L. About having sex with him.

More thoughts crept into Light's mind about the detective, reminding his of his current problem. He had tried to ignore it but if hadn't worked. It was starting to get painful and worse by the second. And it was all because he couldn't get L out of his head.

Standing up, Light went into the bathroom. He walked over to the shower, turning on the cold water full blast. This usually helped him whenever something like this happened. He quickly undressed, trying his best not to cause friction on his sex.

Stepping into the shower and drawing the curtain closed, Light stood under the icy water, letting it beat down on his chest and run down his abdomen to his thighs. It didn't help the issues he was trying to resolve, though.

He bent his head into the cold stream and wet his hair. He then turned around and poured some shampoo—coconut butter—on his hand and began lathering it into his hair. After he rinsed that out he repeated the process with his conditioner. He had hoped to take his mind off of the problem between his legs, but nothing was working.

Growling agitatedly, he grabbed the body wash and squirted some into his hand. He began rubbing it into his skin, shivering at the touch. Another thought of L popped into his mind, of the detective running his hands across Light's chest, down his arms and back up, all over his entire body, not missing a single spot, paying extra attention to a certain part of Light's lower anatomy.

Light hadn't noticed his hand slipping down his abdomen until his hand grazed his persistently erect member. He whimpered at the slight sensation it shot through him, not able to keep the thought of L doing it to him out of his mind.

He looked down at the part of his body that was betraying him. He knew that it wasn't going to go away on its own like it always did. Swallowing thickly, he gently wrapped his hand around the base, biting his lip as shivers ran up his spine.

Griping his problem tighter, Light slowly began to stroke himself, running his hand up and down his length. He whimpered at the sensation it gave him, closing his eyes to the feeling. He leaned back against the wall, the room seemingly becoming heated despite the cold water.

Thoughts of the one causing the problem slipped into Light's mind, unconsciously making his grip himself harder and stroke his erection faster. He imagined L doing this to him, the pale man's long pianist fingers touching him, wrapping around the most sensitive part of him.

He thought about L pressing against him, the water cascading down their bodies as L kissed and nipped at his neck, about to bring Light to his climax. The teen let out a soft moan as he thought of L's free hand roaming over his body, Light's own hands planted firmly in L's hair and on his back.

Light began to buck into his hands as he imagined L grinding his hips into Light's, the detective's own erection sliding past his with a friction that made Light call out the other's name. The teen began panting as he felt himself on the edge, about to topple over at any moment.

"L…." Light tossed his head to the side, pumping himself faster still, his hips thrusting wildly into his hand. "L…." Light moaned out the detective's name again and again, loving the way it rolled off his tongue.

"L, L, L, L…."

A coiling heat wound up in Light's abdomen and he knew that he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. His muscles tensed and he gripped himself harder yet, envisioning L doing so, and stroked faster. He began panting, a layer of sweat coating his skin. He felt like he was about to burst at any moment.

"L!" Light moaned out loudly as he came, feeling the sticky white substance coat his hand. He threw his head back in ecstasy, his world going white. He gasped for breath, his heart beat erratic in his chest.

Finally catching a decent gasp of air as his sight began to clear up, Light slouched fully against the wall. He was still panting and he could feel the remains of his activities all over his hand. He blinked a few times, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he just masturbated to L.

In a haze, Light quickly cleaned up, his mind still whirling from both his release and the stress he was suddenly feeling. Turning off the water and stepping out of the shower, he dried off and got dressed. He walked into his room, jumping slightly at the sound of Ryuk's laughing voice.

"I didn't know L got you so hot and bothered," the shinigami laughed, munching on an apple.

Light gritted his teeth. Was that fucking shinigami watching him?

'Fucking pervert,' Light thought, anger and embarrassment rushing through his veins.

"He doesn't," he said, walking over to his bed.

Ryuk howled with laughter. "You just masturbated to him and called out his name. I think you like him!" Ryuk flew in front of Light and started making kissy faces at him.

Light balled his hand into a fist and went to punch the annoying entity but his hand went right through the laughing figure. "No, I don't!" Light seethed.

"Then why don't you kill him?" Ryuk said in a challenging tone.

Anger burst through Light's heart and all he could see was red. "You want me to kill him?" he asked, walking over to his desk and pulling out Rem's Death Note. "Fine!" Light flipped angrily through the pages to the one with Watari and L's names on it. Grabbing a pen and scrawling harshly on the page, Light copied L's name down.

Throwing the pen to the side, Light looked down at his writing and a coldness crept into his chest. What did he just do? His body felt like ice, his mind numb, unable to take his eyes off of the scrawl across the page.

He wrote it. He wrote L's name.

That realization dawned on Light and he flopped heavily down into his chair, unable to peel his eyes away from the words. He felt dead inside. He didn't want to. He didn't want to harm L. Why did he let Ryuk get to him so easily?

Now it was too late. There was no taking it back. He could only faintly hear Ryuk bursting with laughter behind him. The shinigami sounded so far away. The only thing in his world was the writing on the Death Note's Page.

L Lawli.

*~*~*~*

Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you
And hope for all eternity

*~*~*~*

Song:

Sorrow

Artist:

Flyleaf

*~*~*~*

Author's Note: =O Oh, no! What do you think will happen?

Special thanks to Vietta for the song suggestion.