Rey knew her declaration of making it work wasn't very popular, even though Finn and Poe had come to the same conclusion when they were invited aboard the ship. She saw it even in her own children, in Kyp Durron.
She paced back and forth atop the stone structure the base was hidden in. Her thoughts raced in her mind beneath the starlight. Was she selfish for making that choice? For wanting her children to have a father? To have both halves of her heart together again?
But she couldn't shake the feeling that she was betraying Leia by making such a choice. She glanced up at the night sky.
On Jakku, the constellations were one of the ways people told stories. It was a source, an inspiration. It was on a starry night when Rey was fourteen that she first heard the legends of Princess Leia.
She was the Hutt-Slayer. Some called her the Mal'ary'ush— daughter of darkness. She was a queen to the galaxy, even if technically her kingdom was turned to stardust.
In some corners of the galaxy, Alderaan still appeared to be there. Jakku was one of those corners. It was strange to Rey, hearing about Princess Leia when she could still see the planet despite the fact that it was truly gone.
The light had not traveled the lightyears quite yet. Upahatu had something similar going on, but not quite the same. Instead of Alderann, Rey could see the explosion of Alderaan in Upahatu, a strange spilling of light in the cosmos.
"I want to do right by you," Rey whispered. "But I just don't know the right path anymore."
The stars merely twinkled above. Rey sighed. She knew that once she told her children the truth about their father, they would understand. They would understand her decision. It wasn't just about ending the war. It was about bringing her family back together, making the Skywalkers whole.
Loving Ben Solo was one of the most difficult things Rey had done. It had caused so much trouble, so many secrets and lies. Yet, it was the thing Rey regretted the least in her life, besides having the twins. He needed her. She needed him. And their children was evidence that they were meant to be.
Rey stared down at the desert that was frosting over. She knew she should go inside. Then she would at least feel like she was in Ben's arms— he had once said the same thing about her.
Even unconsciously, they were together.
Rey pulled her cloak more tightly around herself, and paused. She always kept reaching out to her children, just to make sure that they were alright. But now she sensed intense fear radiating off of Jacen. Much more intense than any mere nightmare.
Then a familiar presence washed over her. Snoke is with him!
Rey ran down the structure, and leapt down the elevator shaft, using the Force to slow her fall as she ended up on the right floor. She then dashed through security panels, her fingers flying. All she knew was that she had to get to Jacen now.
She headed to his door, and punched in the emergency security code. She ran in, lightsaber in hand, to see that no one appeared to be in the room, except for Jacen. She reached out to wake Jacen.
He woke with a start, screaming incomprehensibly. Rey placed a calming hand on his shoulder.
He regarded her with suspicion. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Rey asked, her heart picking up a few beats.
"That Kylo Ren was my father," he spat.
"I meant to," Rey said helplessly. "I promised you and Jaina that I would tell you your father, and I would have told you the truth. You're right, he is Kylo Ren. And I love him. But you don't know the whole truth yet. I mean to tell you that. I really do. But I need to know how you know."
There was a hollow look in Jacen's hazel eyes as he gripped the blanket more tightly around himself.
"There's an old man, he's been visiting my dreams, severing my connection with Jaina," he admitted. "He just appeared and threatened me. Now he wants to train me in my dreams."
"You need to stay away from him," Rey said. "His name is Snoke. I don't know what he is, other than pure evil. He haunted your father ever since he was a child. I hoped that his ghost would stay dead and he wouldn't hunt you."
"The former Supreme Leader," Jacen realized. "The one you killed."
"The one everyone thinks I killed," Rey said. "Jacen, I didn't kill him."
"Then what happened?" Jacen asked.
"Kylo Ren killed the Supreme Leader, because he was hurting me," Rey said. "Your father loved me so much, he did the one thing he never had the courage to do."
"I'm not sure that I can believe that," Jacen admitted.
"You have a lot to un-learn about your father," Rey said. "He's not nearly the monster everyone—himself included— believes he is. But I'll tell you more once I tell Jaina. We need to talk about all of this, especially to protect both of you from Snoke. You may even need to hide with your father."
Jacen frowned, unsure of what he was hearing.
Rey sniffed. "What's that?"
"I think I, in my sleep. . ." Jacen trailed off, looking incredibly embarrassed.
"Okay," Rey said, forcing herself to be calm. "I'll strip the bed. You get in the fresher, put on the comfiest pajamas you've got. Then I'll make you some hot chocolate or caff, whatever you want. We'll figure out the rest of it from there, alright?"
"Alright," Jacen said. He bolted for the refresher, and Rey sighed as she peeled back the sheets. Parenting was the most rewarding thing she had done, but it sure came with its prices.