7/1/2012
Sooooo, long time no see, eh? Sorry guys, I took a break for a little while. I didn't have any time to write at all but I'm back now and updates should get better. Thank you to everyone who waited paciently for me to update; your support helps so much, you have no idea!
Thank you again to my wonderful beta reader, waterbringer, who helps me with all of my grammar and spelling mistakes. Also, I have fanart! Someone named ScarletteDiscord on DeviantArt drew and colored a beautiful picture of Alfred! Please go check out my profile for the link; I swear it's worth checking out!
I do not own Hetalia.
-o0o-
Spades Castle- Queen's Room
"Let me through."
"Tell me what you are doing with the Queen, and I will gladly let you pass."
Alfred scowled up at the guard. "I already told you. I'm taking him inside his room. That's not even remotely suspicious."
"I'm more worried about what you are going to do to him once you have him alone," the guard replied, folding his arms.
"Like what? Stab him or something? You're going to be standing right outside the door; I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to!" Alfred protested. "And secondly, I would never try to hurt Arthur! I swear, honest!"
The guard didn't say anything. He narrowed his eyes, shifting his gaze to the drunken Arthur who was leaning heavily on the teenager, one arm draped across Alfred's shoulder, eyes half closed. Alfred waited anxiously for his reply and shifted his position so the Queen wouldn't fall to the ground.
"Why should I trust you?" the guard finally asked. "You're one of them, aren't you? A Heart?"
Alfred blinked. "You know who I am?" Strange, he didn't recognize this specific man from the night of the Gathering…
"I've heard the rumors. And I have a friend who served that night they captured you."
"Oh."
"And that's exactly why I don't trust you not to hurt the Queen. As a royal guard it is my duty to protect the Triumvirate at all costs-"
"Yeah, but honestly dude, it's just you and me all alone in this hallway. Plus England, but he doesn't count 'cause he's pretty much out of it. If I really wanted to harm him, I could have done it ages ago and killed you too for good measure." The guard's eye twitched and Alfred smiled pleasantly.
"I still don't-"
"Alfred?" Arthur's slurred voice was quiet, but the guard immediately fell silent.
"One moment please," he said to the guard, deciding to be overly polite just for the sake of being annoying.
"Yeah, Artie? What is it?" he asked the Queen quietly. Arthur pulled on his sleeve, staring up at him through heavy lidded green eyes.
"I want to go home," Arthur whimpered. Alfred felt a twinge in his chest, feeling guilty for no real reason- he wasn't the one keeping the drunkard away from his room- and he saw the guard wince out of the corner of his gaze.
"Alright, ok, fine. You can leave the Queen with me, and then go. I'll let you off the hook this time, but only because…" his voice trailed off as he watched Arthur, who had a lost, pitiful look on his face.
"That's fine, dude. That's all I wanted in the first place, anyways." Alfred tried to unhook Arthur from around his arm and hand him over to the guard, but he only clung harder to Alfred's clothes, refusing to budge.
"W-what are you doing?" he stuttered.
"I'm handing you over to Mr. - uh, what's your name, again?" Alfred turned to the guard.
"Simon Amuls."
"- yeah, Mr. Amuls here is going to take you inside for a nice rest, okay?" He felt like he was talking to a five year old.
"You're coming too, right?" Arthur tugged on his sleeve again.
"Well, uh-"
"No, you have to come. You have to, you promised!" Arthur's voice rose in volume. "You said you wouldn't leave me alone!" His lip wobbled and his eyes went glossy.
"Well, I would love to come," Alfred managed to say. "But Mr. Amuls thinks that it would be inappropriate seeing that I could possibly kill you in your sleep or something like that."
"But you would never try to hurt me!" Arthur said, echoing Alfred's previous words.
"My point exactly." He looked pointedly at the guard who clenched his teeth.
"Why you little-"
"You, there, Mr. Amuls or whatever the bloody hell it is." Arthur glared at the guard and he stood a little straighter. "You will let him in. No- no excuses." He slumped forward a bit and Alfred pulled him back again. Arthur went back to leaning heavily on the teenager's shoulder, eyes closed.
Alfred coughed lightly. "So, uh, can we pass?" he asked. The guard was practically seething, but he moved to the side and allowed the pair to stumble past. At the last second he reached out and grabbed Alfred's upper arm.
"Hey-!" He tried to jerk out of the tight grip.
"I meant what I said before," the guard warned. "Don't try anything. I will not hesitate to kill you."
Alfred scowled. "Let go," he snarled and the other finally released his hold. Alfred limped into the shadowy room that was supposed to belong to the Queen, not looking back. The door slammed shut behind them.
There was no light; all of the windows were either covered up or non-existent. He blinked several times, trying to get used to the sudden darkness. For a while there was nothing but the low noise of Arthur's light breathing. He took a hesitant step forward, then another when he didn't stumble into anything.
"You know, it would be really awesome if we had some light in here right now," he said out loud.
He wasn't expecting a response, but suddenly the corners of the room near the ceiling started to glow. Eventually it brightened enough to reveal a room of impressive size, furnished comfortably and covered from head to toe in the cool shades of blue and purple. There were several doorways along the walls, and he could only guess as to what they led to.
Alfred dragged Arthur over to a couch near a towering bookcase and carefully laid him down before going off to explore. He found a private study littered with papers, a mini library companied with a table and tea set, a large gold and indigo bathroom, and finally a bedroom with a bed large enough to fit three people comfortably without any person getting too crowded.
He whistled out loud, impressed. "Wow, Artie. You really have yourself a big bedroom for only one person, you know that?"
He looked back over his shoulder to find that the Queen had his eyes closed. He had fallen asleep, or most likely passed out, in the short amount of time that Alfred had brought him into his room. Alfred shook his head, wondering what he should do now. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking around once more.
"I guess I should clean you up first before I drag you to bed," he said to Arthur, even though the other couldn't hear him. "You look kinda creepy with all of that paint still on your face." He reached down and flicked a blond bang away from Arthur's closed eyes, smiling slightly. By now the paint that he had so carefully applied onto the Queen's face was smudged, making him look strangely alien in the blue light.
Another interesting part of the master bedroom was the number of clocks hanging on the walls or resting on the furniture. There were even miniature clocks etched into the bars of soap in the bathroom, Alfred was surprised to find out when he went in search of something that would get rid of the paint. He wondered why clocks were so important to the Spades Kingdom when it was clear how much they valued education and learning above all else. How did the two ideas tie together? He made a mental note to ask Toris about it while he tried to rub the paint out of Arthur's hair.
After he was satisfied with the job he had done cleaning off the paint, he rummaged around the dressers in one of the side rooms until he found something for Arthur to get changed into. He shook Arthur, whom he had let sleep until now, by the shoulder, trying to get him to wake up.
"Arthur, you gotta get changed now. I can't do everything for you," he joked. He received a groan in response, but after a bit of prodding he was able to get the Royal to go into the bathroom alone and change.
Alfred took the free time to wash the cracking paint off of his own face in another bathroom, separate from the one Arthur was in. He rubbed at his skin until he could see the peachy color underneath. Soon enough he was able to recognize his face in the mirror; cheeks red from the days he worked outside and clear blue eyes tired from lack of sleep. He stared at his reflection for a while, unsure of what to do. Should he leave now while he had the chance? Or would it be better to wait for Arthur to come out and make sure he was alright before going?
In the end he decided to wait in Arthur's bedroom; Arthur would tell Alfred if he wanted him to leave. Until then Alfred sat on the bed, legs crossed, hands in lap as he looked around the room. He was still in awe from the sheer size of the whole place, but when he thought back to his time in Hearts, Kiku and Ludwig's rooms had been equally as large. The main difference he supposed was that Kiku's room had less furniture, and what he did have was smaller and closer to the ground. That and of course everything here was blue and purple while in Hearts everything was in red and scarlet.
He looked up at the sound of footsteps and saw Arthur standing in the doorway. He grinned, and Arthur glowered, green eyes bloodshot.
"So," Alfred said cheerfully as Arthur slowly made his way over. "How're you feeling? Better, I hope?"
Arthur just glared at him.
"Y'know, I hope this teaches you something about drinking," he continued. Arthur ignored the teenager and collapsed on the sheets next to him. Alfred was surprised that he wasn't ordered to leave but decided not to say anything. He didn't feel like getting up at the moment and would be completely fine if Arthur let him stay for a little while longer.
"How much did you and Francis drink anyway? You two were only alone for like, thirty minutes at most-"
"Shut up," Arthur groaned. He had his face buried into one of the white pillows, and his voice came out muffled. "My head is spinning right now and you are most certainly not helping."
"What?" Alfred asked, offended. "Are you kidding me? I've done nothing but help you this entire night."
Arthur turned his face so he could look at him from the corner of one eye. "You are the one who got me into this situation in the first place."
"Well, I didn't know you were a drinker," he protested.
"Have you ever taken a moment to notice how very noisy you are, Alfred?" Arthur said loudly and Alfred immediately shut his mouth, scowling.
They were quiet for a moment; Arthur had covered his face again, breathing slowly and evenly while Alfred sat next to him, arms folded and seething as he leaned against the back wall.
"Do you want me to go?" Alfred asked after a few minutes.
"Not if you don't want to," Arthur said quietly. "I- I'd rather not be alone, to be honest."
"I can stay? The night?" He was unsure of what Arthur exactly meant.
"If you want to," came the stifled reply. "By the time you get back to your room you will have to get up soon anyway to help Toris. If you stay here you won't have to get up early."
"Thanks," Alfred said, surprised. He hadn't thought of that. "Are you actually giving me an excuse to not work or something?"
"Call it what you wish, I don't care." Arthur rolled over, his back to Alfred, and pulled the sheets up around his chin. "Just do me a favor and try not to speak. You're giving me a headache."
He was about to retort that it was the drinks that were giving Arthur a headache and not Alfred, but held it back and fell silent. Arthur had a big day ahead of him tomorrow with the Diamonds Triumvirate leaving and a war on his hands. He didn't need an argument with Alfred to keep him up through the night.
As time passed, the lights from before began to dim and eventually there was hardly enough for him to make out the surrounding room. Arthur didn't snore- thank Ace- but Alfred could tell from the periodic rising and falling of his chest that he had fallen asleep. Alfred felt himself drift off for a small amount of time, but at last he found he couldn't properly sleep while he was sharing a bed with Arthur Kirkland, the Queen of Spades of all people!
As quietly as he could, Alfred raised himself off of the bed and exited the room. He shut the door carefully behind himself, determined not to wake up Arthur.
He was surprised to find that the lights were bright in the main room. They must adjust to whoever is in the room at the time, he thought. As he looked around, a strange movement to his right caught his eye. He turned to see an odd bluish glow coming from the private study he had found earlier.
With a frown, he walked towards the study, keeping his gaze on the light. He could tell that it wasn't a normal glow from the ceiling lights because the shade was all wrong; the color was almost electric, reminding him of the weird beams the pocket watch gave off just before a vision. That, and the fact that the light seemed to pulse, increasing in intensity and throwing shadows around the room before dimming again.
The glow- or what was creating it- wasn't natural. Whatever that meant was a mystery to Alfred, but he felt his heart speed up in anticipation as he reached the threshold. He gazed around, and found that the light was coming from behind Arthur's desk.
The instant he took a step into the study, the ceiling lit up and the entire room was suddenly illuminated. Alfred blinked against the sudden brightness, wincing. When his eyes had refocused, the strange light from before had disappeared. The only light in the room now came from the ceiling, which was the wrong light he was looking for.
Curious, he walked around the desk. There was nothing there except some more books stacked on the ground. He turned around in a circle in case he had missed something, but halfway around his hand collided with a pile of paperwork on the desk. The papers scattered.
Alfred cursed. "Are you kidding me?" he groaned and leaned down. He looked down at the handwriting- Arthur's, no doubt- and groaned again. They were all out of order now! There was no way he was going to be able to put everything back without Arthur knowing he had been in here.
"Well, it's his fault for having a weird light in his study," he muttered and grabbed the last sheet of paper. He looked up from the papers in his hands and found himself staring at a painting of a clock etched into the flat side of the desk.
He inhaled sharply, almost falling backwards in surprise. The clock was beautiful, painted pure gold with Spade sapphires for its hands. It almost looked like a large version of his pocket watch, except for the curly designs on the clock's outline and inner face. And this clock's shape was a uniform circle, where his had the actual Spade shape.
He tilted his heads sideways, still staring at the image. "Weird," he said out loud. "It looks so real…" He reached out with one hand and gently ran his fingers over the clock's face.
There was a bright flash, and Alfred recoiled. This time he really did fall backwards onto the ground, and the papers flew upwards into the air. As the flash dimmed, there were two things he was aware of. The first was the sheets of paper falling around him like a bizarre snowfall. The second was the very real clock leaning against the now black desk.
He felt himself pale as he stared at the clock. It had been a painting a second ago, and now it was actually there in front of him. The desk had no evidence of any image painted onto its surface. Had he triggered some kind of reaction or spell that caused the painting to come to life? Or maybe…maybe it was the other way around.
"A clock hidden in a desk, disguised as a painting," Alfred said to himself with a smile. "Only you would think of something like that, Arthur." He leaned forward and lightly touched the clock's gold surface. He let out a relieved sigh when nothing happened.
"But why did you want to hide it?" he muttered, squinting at the sapphires and trying to tell if they were real or fake. Suddenly, his eyes flew open wide and he froze.
"Of course," Alfred breathed. "The only reason for Arthur to hide something would be if it's really valuable. And that can only mean that this is London, the Queen's Eternal Implement." He sat back on his heels and shook his head. "What're the odds of me finding it, huh? I bet you didn't expect me to discover your hiding place."
I wonder if it has the same powers as Washington, he thought to himself as he continued to study the clock. The only way to find out if this clock could give visions would be if he touched its face while it was glowing. It had to be the thing that was glowing before, so…would it still work if he touched it now while it was dormant? He twisted his mouth, thinking for a moment before shrugging. Might as well try and see what happens.
He reached out and touched the face of the clock, where its two hands met in the dead center.
Instantly, images began to flood into his mind like they had the night he discovered the locked room. In fact, they were the exact same images except there were slight alterations. The pictures were clearer, as if he had been looking through a fog before, and the colors were brighter. He could see the pupil's of Kiku's eyes as he stood on top of the hill at night, and every strand of bright curling red hair on Elizabeth Tudor's head. He felt the hair on the back of his neck rise as she turned her icy gaze on him, but he refused to glance away until the other person had called for her. The images blurred and he closed his eyes, waiting for the dizzying colors to settle.
He was in the stone room again, with the man clinging onto the woman on the floor while the child stood a little bit off. This time Alfred tried to pay closer attention to details, noting how the child shared the woman's blonde hair.
They must be mother and son, he thought as he looked back and forth between the pair. And that man- was he the father? Why was he crying? Was the woman so peaceful looking because she- had she died?
As he watched the family, the blond child looked up and he locked gazes with Alfred.
Alfred's reaction was automatic, and somewhere in the back corners of his mind, he felt his physical self jerk away from the large clock as if burned.
The images stopped the second he wasn't touching the Eternal Implement. The stone room and family went fuzzy and a moment later he was back in Arthur's study. He scrambled away from the clock as fast as he could and pain laced through his back when he crashed into a bookshelf. Several books fell down around him, and from the side of his eye, he saw a painting slide and fall to the ground.
There was silence after everything had stopped falling, and it was almost too quiet. Alfred held his breath as he waited to see if he had woken Arthur at all, but he didn't hear any movement in the main room. After a moment he allowed himself to breathe again. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the bookcase.
That child had the same exact green eyes as Arthur did. They both had the same shape, shade, everything.
There was no denying it; that vision was something that had happened to Arthur when he was younger. Alfred tried to think back to what Arthur had told him about his childhood; he had lived most of his life with his cousins because his father had left him and his brother Peter all alone after his mother had died.
That woman on the floor- she must have been Arthur's mother. How had she died? Probably an illness or something, but still, Arthur's dad had been devastated in the vision. Arthur, on the other hand, just looked scared. He probably didn't even realize what was happening at the moment…how sad. Alfred found himself wondering what was worse, growing up on the street without parents like himself, or living like Arthur had, knowing his family but also having been abandoned by all of them in some way or another.
He stood up slowly and gathered all of the books, careful to not touch London just in case he triggered more visions. After he had placed everything back in what he hoped was the right order, he walked over to the painting that had fallen. Lifting it back onto the wall, he realized that it was a portrait of Arthur and his family.
Yep and there they were. The woman with long blonde hair holding a smaller Arthur in her lap, while the crying man stood behind her, cradling an infant that could only be Peter. Both of the children had inherited their mother's hair color, but their eyebrows came from their father, who had darker hair than the other three. They all looked happier than Alfred had ever seen any of them; they were all smiles and crinkling eyes. Alfred stared at Arthur's father and realized that he had the same green eyes as his older son, though slightly darker. Peter on the other hand, had his mother's light blue. It must have been painted just before the woman's death, Alfred thought as he took a step back.
"Great, now I'm depressed." He sighed and crossed his arms. He looked around the room once more. Now what? His gaze fell back to London, and he frowned. What was he supposed to do with it? He didn't know any spells to reverse whatever had caused the clock to come out of the desk. Maybe if he just left it there Arthur wouldn't notice?
Ha, fat chance. Arthur noticed everything.
In the end, he decided to put London on top of the desk, and hopefully the Queen would just think that the spell had reversed on its own or something like that. But when he reached down to lift it up, he realized the clock was much heavier than it looked. It took all of his strength just to raise it up onto the desk.
Alfred frowned as he looked down at the clock. Something was wrong, something wasn't right. The clock shouldn't be that heavy; the pocket watch had never been that heavy unless it was about to give a vision. The difference in size between the two shouldn't matter.
He sighed and unfolded his arms. Nothing made sense anymore. Just the fact that he could also use London was weird. Was it because he was the Wild Card? Or was it something else? Either way he needed to learn more about what being the Wild Card meant and why it was so important. Back in Hearts he hadn't even heard of the Wild Card. But here they had books; maybe there would be something in the Library-?
There it was- that blue from before. He blinked and focused his gaze back on the clock. It- it was glowing. He had been right from before; the electric blue that he had seen coming from this room had been from the clock. But that meant-
Suddenly the room flashed bright white, the glow exploding like a bomb. Alfred took a step back in shock- he hadn't even touched the thing- but a second later he was swallowed up by the light.
The first thing he was aware of was the heat. It was hot, so hot; he could feel the warmth on his face as if he was standing in front of a fire. Smoke was everywhere, forcing him to double over and cough violently. He couldn't breathe. His eyes stung from the ash. He couldn't even hear anything because of the blood pounding in his ears.
He covered his hand over his mouth and nose, trying not to inhale the cinders falling from the sky. He squinted at his surroundings but all he could see were piles of cracked stone and broken boulders. He didn't recognize anything. Where was he?
Suddenly he heard voices. Alfred started and snapped his head towards the sound. Through the smoke he could make out the outlines of two people- men? Their voices were low pitched- standing on top of one of the piles. It sounded like they were arguing.
He stumbled forward. He knew that he wouldn't be able to communicate with them because he was in a vision, but he had to know what was going on and where he was. The clock had been heavy, which meant this was the future. Of course, his future hadn't been looking good lately but…this place looked like a war zone or something.
He froze and his eyes widened. War zone.
Oh no, he thought and his stomach dropped to the ground. Spades and Hearts, the prewar tension that was going on between the Kingdoms- this vision was about the war. This place…was this the aftermath of a battle?
He scrambled toward the voices, this time more desperate to find out the situation at hand. When he got close enough, the smoke cleared to reveal two injured and soot covered men facing each other against the blood tinted sky. Alfred felt himself go white when he saw who they were; he didn't need to hear their voices to recognize Arthur's dirty blond hair and Kiku's narrowed eyes.
Alfred sagged and leaned on an overturned tree trunk for support. The scenery spun around him in dizzying circles and he felt lightheaded. He couldn't tell if it was the fumes from the air that were making him feel this way, or if he was just in shock from the reality of the situation he was experiencing.
Distantly, he heard Arthur say, "-one who attacked! How is this in any way not your fault?"
"You took something from me. You are the one who attacked me and my family first. And I protect my family."
Alfred numbly stared at Kiku, who looked as emotionless as a statue. He was talking about Alfred, he had to be; Arthur had taken Alfred away from Hearts, and Kiku and Alfred had always considered themselves family. And in a way he was right. Arthur had attacked the Hearts Triumvirate that night after the Gathering. But why he had done so had always been a mystery….
Until tonight, that is, Alfred thought. If he could see this, there was a very good chance that Arthur- the true owner of London- had seen it too. That would explain most if not all of Arthur's actions up until this point. Why he had attacked them, why he wanted one of the Hearts Triumvirate as a prisoner…had he done all of that just to avoid war?
If so, his plan had completely and totally failed. Because of his actions, Arthur had ended up starting the very war he had tried to avoid. Alfred laughed once, humorlessly; he had finally gotten information on some of the questions he had wanted answers for so badly. Too bad they weren't the kind of answers he wanted.
Kiku was speaking again. "I did what I had to do, Arthur. You of all people should understand this."
"No, I don't. You didn't have to murder Yao and the Royal Deck, or my citizens. You could have at least spared the innocent-!"
Alfred flinched at Arthur's angry words. Was what he was saying true? Had Kiku really done all of that just to get Alfred back? There had to be something else; there was just no way Hearts would fight such a huge war only to retrieve a mere stable boy.
"No! No, no, no, no, no! I tried to negotiate with you, Arthur! But you refused to listen or even discuss treaties with us! And now it's too late. Now you pay for your foolishness and pride."
He knew what was coming before he even saw the gun. His breathing quickened as Kiku pulled the weapon out, and blood roared in his ears.
"Oh, god," he said as Kiku raised the gun. He was pointing it right between Arthur's eyes. He was going to shoot Arthur. He was going to hurt him. He was going to-
He was going to kill Arthur.
"No," Alfred heard himself whisper. "No. No, no, no- NO! ARTHUR! ARTHUR, RUN! STOP-!"
He was screaming at the top of his lungs, yelling so loud that it actually hurt his throat. He was suddenly sprinting forward as fast as he could, not caring that it was only a vision and that this wasn't really happening right now. All he could focus on was the fact that Arthur was about to die. And that. Couldn't. Happen. He had to save Arthur. There was no other alternative, no other option possible. Arthur couldn't die; Alfred refused to let it happen-
He saw Kiku's finger tighten on the trigger, heard the shot just as he reached the base of the pile the two were standing on-
"NO!" he bellowed, but it was too late.
Arthur's head snapped backwards from the impact of the bullet. He didn't even make a sound as he fell. To Alfred, time slowed down to a crawl as he watched, horrified. Then Arthur hit the ground, and his head banged against a stone, echoing throughout the barren landscape.
Silence. Alfred felt something inside of him break.
A scream, so loud and full of horror that it raised the hairs on his arm, shattered the silence like glass. There was a sound like porcelain breaking, and suddenly a huge crack split the blood red sky in half. The screaming wasn't stopping; it went on and on like something in a horror story, and with it the crack in the sky spread. The entire vision was collapsing around him, but that fact barely even registered to Alfred, who was standing frozen.
He couldn't put his horror into coherent thoughts. There were no- no sentences, no words to explain the despair building up in his throat, choking him to the point where he struggled to breathe. His mind was completely blank; whipped completely clean except for the vision of Arthur falling. Falling, falling, falling to the ground like one of those toy soldiers he used to play with as a child-
Finally the vision fell into itself, swallowing him up in darkness and muting all of his senses at once. It was only then, after the scream had ended but still echoed in his ears, that Alfred realized he had been the one screaming.
There was nothing for a minute, but then a small light flickered into life. It wavered like a candle, but then it grew, chasing away the darkness until he could see again. Alfred blinked his eyes and the ceiling of Arthur's private study swam into focus.
He didn't move at first. He realized that he was sitting on the ground, slumped against the wall. Nothing was different about the room, nothing had changed. Well, nothing except for one thing; the clock was back in the desk, looking like nothing more than an innocent painting.
And there was something else. There was something wet and cool running down his cheeks. He reached up and brushed his fingers against his skin. He stared down at the clear liquid on his fingertips, blinking. They were tears.
He swallowed thickly, a lump rising in his throat which now burned like fire. The pain was still there- the horrible anguish throbbed like someone had stabbed his heart- but it was less strong now that he realized that none of it had really happened. It was a vision and nothing more. Spades was fine; Hearts hadn't attacked yet. No one was dead, Arthur was fine.
Arthur was fine. Alfred let out a breath and laughed shakily. Arthur was fine, he repeated, closing his eyes as he let the relief wash over him.
It was funny how things had turned out, he thought to himself. A few days ago he hated Arthur. But now, they were friends. And it seemed Arthur meant a ton more to him than he originally thought, looking back at how he had reacted when Arthur had been shot.
The image of Arthur falling flashed through his mind again, and he sucked in a deep breath. He shoved the memory into the darkest corners of his mind, willing himself to forget the horrific scene. Suddenly, he felt as if everything was pressing in on him, making it difficult to breathe. He reacted immediately, and struggled to stand up.
His legs shook slightly as he left the room, not looking back. He didn't even pause to check up on the Queen before he fled to the exiting door. He had to leave; he had to go. He had a desperate need to get away, - to escape- to forget everything. He felt dirty, like he hadn't washed in ages. He had to-
Alfred flung the door open and stumbled into the hallway. Light from the windows blinded him temporarily- was it morning already?- but he leaned on the wall for support and continued to move, refusing to pause for even a second.
"Hey-!"
That voice. Alfred looked back to see the guard- Simon, he remembered- staring at him wide eyed. He noted that the distrust from before had disappeared, honest surprise taking its place.
"Are you alright? You look kind of sick," the guard stuttered.
"I'm fine," he managed to reply. "I- I just need to go. There's somewhere I need to, um, be right now. Servant stuff, you know?" He smiled weakly, praying that Simon would let him go peacefully.
"Okay, right. I forgot you were a servant here..." Simon's voice trailed off.
"Mhm," Alfred hummed, itching to leave. "So, uh, I'll be going now, if you don't mind."
"Oh. Yeah, sure. Go ahead." Simon waved him off and Alfred practically ran down the hallway and out of sight.
He didn't know where he was going. He blindly turned corners whenever he saw someone approach. He just wanted to be alone; he needed to think. He still had the feeling that he was being crushed, like he couldn't breathe.
Alfred forced himself to slow down to a halt. He was standing alone in a large stone hallway that he actually recognized, for once. He was on the first floor, near the main entrance and close to the door that lead to the Grounds. He listened to make sure no one was coming before he let himself collapse onto a nearby bench. He crouched forward and buried his face in his hands, breathing through his nose.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he was freaking out more than could be considered normal. He seriously needed to calm down, to take a moment and sort out all of the thoughts flying around in his brain. What had he done before back in Hearts when he needed a moment to himself?
The answer came to him instantly, and a second later he was sprinting through the Castle to the Stables. Not even five minutes later he was on Artemis' back and they were flying over the Castle Grounds, nothing more than a grey smudge against the blue morning sky.
-o0o-
Spades Castle Grounds
They had been running for nearly an hour before Alfred slowed Artemis to a trot. Now, she was lying on the grass while Alfred leaned against her stomach, sitting in between her legs. The sun hadn't fully risen yet, and it was somewhat relaxing to watch it rise over the hills.
Alfred curled his legs up so he could rest his chin on his knees, and wrapped his arms around his shins. He was so quiet that he could hear the birds' songs from miles around. However, he hadn't expected a visitor, so the voice from behind came as a nasty shock.
"What are you doing here, kid?"
Alfred was proud to say that he didn't scream- he didn't think he could anymore after the vision- but he did give a surprised gasp. He looked around wildly to discover Prussia standing behind Artemis, arms folded and an uncharacteristic frown on his face.
"It's you," Alfred rasped out, his voice rough from screaming before.
Prussia raised an eyebrow. "Of course it's the awesome me; who else were you expecting? And, jeesh, what happened to your voice? It sounds shot."
Alfred winced at the word 'shot'. "I think I'm losing my voice." He tried clearing his throat, but quickly stopped at the pain that flared up.
The Joker watched him carefully, brow furrowed. "You had a vision, didn't you? That's the only good explanation why you're out here so far away from the Castle," he said, and Alfred looked up in surprise.
"Thought so. Which one did you see?" Prussia walked over and sat down next to the teenager on the grass.
"Was it the one with Queenie and Honda during the war?" he prompted when Alfred didn't speak. Alfred started and gaped at him.
"How do you know about that?" he asked.
"I thought I'd told you this before, Jones. I'm a Joker; I know stuff." They sat quietly, not saying anything for a moment.
"The vision- what I saw," Alfred's voice was low. "Will it come true? Will Arthur die?"
"Depends," Prussia said.
"On what?"
Prussia shrugged. "It depends on what actions you take to get up to that point. The future isn't set in stone; the vision might never happen. Or not like that, at least. But if you take steps to ensure that it doesn't, you might just end up setting yourself- and Arthur- up."
"Like how Arthur attacked me and my friends to avoid the war but ended up causing it anyways?"
"Exactly," he said, smiling slightly. "You figured that one out, huh?"
Alfred nodded. "Yeah. But, I mean, I don't blame Arthur for trying to prevent the war; I don't want it to happen either. Especially after seeing that vision. Is there any way the war can be stopped?"
"Maybe if you go back to Hearts-"
"I can't. I promised Arthur I wouldn't try to escape."
"You can't, or you won't?"
Alfred glared at Prussia. "What do you mean 'won't'? You don't think I would go back to Hearts if I had the chance?"
"I don't know, kid. You tell me. Would you really want to go back to a Suit that would kill thousands of innocent people just to get you back?"
He stared at the Joker, letting the words sink in. There was a bad feeling starting to form in his gut, but he tried to ignore it, saying, "Hearts wouldn't do that; not to get back a stable boy. They wouldn't risk their soldiers for something that meant so little."
"Maybe not for a stable boy," Prussia agreed. "But what if it was to retrieve the Wild Card?"
Alfred's stomach dropped to the ground, and he felt himself pale. "They don't know that," he said, struggling to keep his panic under control. "And it's impossible to find that out unless…"
"Unless what?" Prussia tilted his head to the side innocently.
"Unless someone told them who I was," Alfred finished, awareness starting to dawn. "And the only two people who know that are you and Sealand. But you wouldn't tell anyone, right?"
Prussia's only response was to smile, his teeth flashing in the sunlight. Horror and fear coursed through Alfred in equal measures, and for a moment he was unable to speak.
"You- you told them?" he whispered hoarsely. "You told Kiku and Ludwig that I was the Wild Card? But why would you do that? Do you want the war to happen-?"
"It's nothing personal, if that's what you're thinking," Prussia interrupted him, folding his arms. "It never is with Jokers. The war is in the Plan, so that means it will happen one way or another no matter what you do to stop it. And as Jokers, it's our job to make sure whatever's in the Plan happens in real life as smoothly as possible. In order to help it get going, Hearts needed an incentive. Clubs needed an incentive."
Alfred's head snapped upwards. "Whoa, whoa, wait a second! Did you just say Clubs? Please tell me you didn't tell the Clubs Triumvirate about me too."
"What do you think?" Prussia said sarcastically. Alfred flushed angrily, eyes flashing.
"I can't believe this," he snarled. "You are insane. Now Clubs will join Hearts and they'll go against Spades and Diamonds. Do you want this war to happen? Now I'm going to be ambushed the second I go back to the Castle. Ace knows what Arthur is going to do to me-"
"Spades and Diamonds don't know about you yet," Prussia interrupted him. "We didn't tell them anything."
Alfred blinked in surprise, anger momentarily forgotten. "What? Why not?"
"It's not the right time for them to know yet," he said with another shrug. "Spades and Diamonds aren't at risk right now; Hearts and Clubs, on the other hand, are."
Alfred stood up quickly and turned his back, trying to distance himself as much as possible from the ex-Heart. He didn't even know what to say to Prussia, who had actually helped the war to happen, and he had to clench his hands into fists to stop them from shaking.
"Listen, Jones," Prussia spoke to his back. "Sealand and I do what we have to in order to keep balance between the Kingdoms. Getting Clubs involved with the war had to be done if Hearts was going to stand a chance against Spades and Diamonds. Like I said before, it was nothing personal; we were just doing our job."
"I still don't understand," Alfred said as calmly as he could.
"What don't you get? You're the Wild Card-"
"No, that's exactly it though." He turned around to look at Prussia, who was still sitting cross legged on the grass. "Why does it matter so much who I am? Why is it so important for the Kingdoms to know about the Wild Card?"
Prussia frowned, brow furrowing. "Didn't I explain it to you before?"
"Explain what?" Alfred asked suspiciously.
"Damn, kid. All this time and you don't even know why you're worth fighting wars over?" He shook his head, stood up and walked over. Alfred watched him warily as the Joker passed and started to pace, his outline a dark shadow against the sun.
"You're right about one thing; Hearts wouldn't go to war just for a stable boy. But for a Wild Card, well, that's a whole other story. What have I told you so far about being the Wild Card?" He looked sideways at Alfred.
"I- you told me I could choose which Suit I wanted to belong to and that I'm going to change the world somehow-"
"But nothing else?" Prussia asked and the teenager shook his head silently.
"Alright, then," Prussia sighed heavily. "I guess I'll give you the once over and hope you get the picture. I won't explain it in detail, but as the Wild Card you have a ton of powerful magic stored up inside of you. This magic is very unique, very specific, and has the ability to do stuff no one else can."
Alfred opened his mouth to argue that he had no idea what Prussia was talking about, that there was no way he had any of this 'powerful' magic Prussia was talking about- wouldn't he have noticed it by now if he did?- but the Joker spoke quicker, overriding him.
"It's this magic that can both help and harm the Kingdoms, depending on which one you are loyal to. If Spades and Diamonds have the Wild Card, that means Hearts and Clubs are at a disadvantage; their Kingdoms are at risk. The only way for the Triumvirates to ensure their people's safety is to capture you and keep you for themselves. Hence, the war." He stopped pacing and turned so that he was face to face with Alfred.
"They had a right to know that you were the Wild Card because they have a right to know when their Kingdoms are in jeopardy. They needed to know because they need to be able to protect the Kingdoms they are responsible for." Prussia stared at him sternly, more serious than Alfred had ever seen him. "Do you get why we had to tell them now?"
"Kinda?" Alfred said. "I mean, I get what you're saying about the Triumvirates needing to protect their Kingdoms, but I don't think I have this weird magic stuff you're talking about."
"That's just because you haven't figured out how to use it yet." Prussia waved his hand like it was nothing to be concerned about.
"How am I supposed to figure out how to use it if I don't even know what it can do?" Alfred asked, annoyed. This was stupid. How had they even gotten onto this topic anyway? He hadn't come out here to get a lecture from Prussia; he came so he could think without being interrupted.
"You really don't know anything do you?" Prussia smirked, much to his irritation.
"Well, certain people don't like to explain," Alfred snapped. "What are you even doing here? I didn't ask for a visit, and I kinda want to be alone if you don't mind."
"Leave you alone so you can do what? Debate your role in the war and which Kingdom your loyalties lie?"
At that Alfred straightened and gaped at Prussia. "I wasn't thinking about that at all! Well, the first part, yeah, but not the second! Why would I doubt where my loyalties lie? I know who I'm loyal to, and I don't have to question myself!" He turned away angrily. Stupid Prussia. Who did he think he was, telling Alfred what to think?
"Are you sure?" Prussia said in a sing song voice. Alfred whirled around to find him picking at his nails absentmindedly.
"What are saying?" Alfred asked, not liking the way the conversation was heading.
"Hearts isn't the most innocent Kingdom," Prussia said offhandedly. "You know that from your vision, ja?" He stopped picking at his nails and looked into Alfred's eyes, letting his next words fall heavilyon the young teenager's ears.
"Kiku Honda killed Arthur Kirkland, and in cold blood none the less. Do you really want to follow a Kingdom with someone like that for a leader?"
Alfred stared at him blankly, unsure of what to say or even think. What Prussia had said was true; in the vision Kiku had killed Arthur without mercy or warning. And according to what Arthur had said before he had gotten shot, Kiku had done a lot of bad stuff before getting to that point. That wasn't the Kiku Alfred knew and loved, but what if that was what he would turn into when the war started? Would Alfred really want to come home to a place that had readily killed innocent people to get to him, the Wild Card? Could he give his full support to a Kingdom like that?
But if he couldn't, where could he call home? Where did Alfred's loyalties lie?
Prussia watched as Alfred second-guessed himself, a look of pity on his face. "All I'm saying is to think about it, kid. Only you can decide what you want for yourself, just make sure it's the right decision."
"Is that what you came here to do?" Alfred asked after a pause, head bowed. "To tell me that Hearts and Clubs know about me? Or did you just come here to try to make me doubt myself?"
"I'm not trying to make you doubt yourself," Prussia said. "I'm just trying to show you that there is more than one option out there. You have to be careful; every decision you make affects the rest of the world."
Alfred snorted. "If only I knew how I affected the rest of the world, I might be more cautious. But since I don't…" he stared pointedly at Prussia.
Prussia shrugged. "Sorry, I can't tell you anything."
"Why not?" he asked, annoyed. "You are a Joker, don't you know everything?"
"Yes, but it's not in the Plan. Someone else is supposed to explain your powers to you as well as how to use them. But that someone isn't me."
Screw the Plan, Alfred thought angrily. "Can you at least tell who it is that's supposed to help me? Or can you not even do that?"
Prussia shook his head and Alfred swore.
"You stink, man, you know that?" he glared at the Joker while Prussia grinned. "What am I supposed to do to find this person, then?"
"I don't know, maybe you should read a book or something, Jones. Why don't you learn a little more about the history of the Wild Cards before anything else? That should help you out a bit." He folded his arms.
"Great, thanks, that really helps," Alfred said sarcastically. "Is there anything else you wanted to say? Anything that might actually help me in some way?"
"I do, actually," Prussia said, startling him. His hand reached down into his pocket and pulled out a small glass pendent tied to a thin metal cord. He held it up so Alfred could see the glass pendent swinging back and forth. Alfred blinked against the sunlight reflected by the glass.
"What is it?" he asked.
"A gift," Prussia said simply and he placed it gently into Alfred's outstretched hand.
"From who?" he asked curiously as he rubbed his fingers against the cool glass.
"The Queen of Hearts," Prussia said. Alfred started and glanced up at the Joker to see if he was lying. Prussia's expression was impassive, but there was an odd twist to his lips, as if he disagreed with what he had been asked to do.
"Kiku Honda asked me to give this to you shortly after I told him who you were." He gestured at the object in Alfred's hand.
Alfred looked back down at the glass pendent, wondering what exactly Kiku had given him and why it made Prussia unhappy. He stared at it, frowning. It wasn't really a pendent; rather, the glass was an extra layer, protecting whatever was inside of it. He squinted harder and realized for the first time that the object was a dark pink color. It was shaped like a teardrop, and very thin. Without the glass, it would have weighed less than paper.
Suddenly, Alfred realized what the object was. It was a petal, dark pink to the point where it was almost red but covered with a protective layer of glass. His brow puckered and he turned the petal over in his hands. It looked so familiar, but where had he seen it before? It had to be something useful, or important. Kiku wouldn't have given it to Prussia to give to him otherwise.
His breath caught and his eyes flew wide-open.
"Of course," he breathed and clenched his hand around the glass petal into a fist.
He knew where the petal was from; he had seen it nearly every day after Kiku had been declared Queen. Why hadn't he realized what it was before? But why would Kiku-?
"Did you figure out what it is?" Prussia asked, arms crossed.
"Of course," Alfred repeated. "This is a petal from Kiku's Eternal Implement, Tokyo." He held it up by the metal cord, letting it swing as Prussia had done earlier.
"Correct," Prussia said wryly. "And I assume that means you know what it does?"
Alfred hesitated for a moment before nodding.
"Then I won't have to explain to you the situation you're in." He unfolded his arms and took a step closer to Alfred so that they were only a few inches apart.
"Make sure you know what you're doing before you use it," he spoke softly, a warning in his bright red eyes.
"I will," Alfred promised. He gripped the glass petal tighter, his knuckles going white.
"Good. Then this is where I'll take my leave." He took a step back and clasped a hand on Alfred's shoulder. "Take care of yourself, alright? Don't get yourself hurt because of something stupid."
"I'll try my best," Alfred said dryly and Prussia laughed.
"You have a few days before word gets to Spades about the Clubs Hearts Alliance," Prussia said as he walked away. "Before then, take my advice and do some reading about Wild Card history. It should help you find the person who will help you figure out how to use your powers."
And before Alfred could say another word, the Joker started to disappear. In less than ten seconds he had gone, leaving nothing to show that he had ever been there in the first place.
Alfred stood frozen, gaping at the place where Prussia had vanished. Then Artemis whinnied, jerking him out of his shock.
"I'm guessing you want to go back now, huh?" he asked her and she snorted in reply. "Yeah, you're probably right. Toris will wonder where I've gone."
He looked back at the steadily rising sun as Artemis got to her feet. He was still unsure of what to make of the vision, and Prussia's visit really hadn't helped at all. If anything, it had made him more confused than ever as to which Kingdom he was loyal to.
He stared back down at the petal in his hand, running his thumb over the smooth glass. Kiku's Eternal Implement, Tokyo, was actually a bunch of red flowers that the Queen rarely let out of his sight. Unlike London or Washington, Tokyo had a physical use that came in handy for military problems.
When crushed, Tokyo's petals could be turned into a healing force or a fatal blow depending on how it was taken. If inhaled, the powdered petals could heal any injury, whether it be mental or an actual bleeding wound. On the other hand, if even one of its petals were swallowed, its power would overwhelm the body and put it into a coma. In less than five minutes, you would be dead.
Kiku had given him one of Tokyo's petals for a reason. Why and for what purpose was the important thing. With this petal, he could heal anyone. With this petal, he could kill Arthur. He could escape and go home.
But where was home? Alfred thought as he lifted the necklace around his neck and climbed onto Artemis' back. Would he really want to go back to Hearts after the war, or would Spades become his new home?
Alfred didn't have an answer. Not now, not so soon. He needed more time. For now he would just listen to Prussia and do as he advised. He needed to know more about Wild Cards, and that huge Library in Spades Castle was the best place to start.
-o0o-
"So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide."
New Divide, Linkin Park