Wow and welcome back! I worked on the end of this scene for days and days, always afraid to blow things completely out of character. Now it had to be released just the way it was today - too much stuff on my mind to go on with to spend more time on this!
Hope you enjoy it, hope it fits, reviews are veeeeeery welcome as usual and in this case especially :-)
Add to playlist today (things are getting crazier here with every chapter as well...):
Doro Pesch & Dirk Bach - Gimme gimme gimme (see youtube :-) )
Cathie closed her eyes and let the hot water pour down on her. There were moments in life in which nothing felt better, though she had admittedly just had a very pleasant time.
When she opened her eyes again, she looked into Gunnar´s. Eyeing her up silently, he found that she looked relaxed, but, right in this moment, very frail as well.
„You´re good ?" he asked finally.
She held his gaze for a long time.
Then she nodded, a tired but very contented smile enlightening her face.
„Very."
Her voice sounded a little hoarse.
It was the first word she had spoken for hours.
He bent down to kiss her, then decided against it and lifted her up instead. Getting in touch with the tiled wall of the shower made her squeal lowly.
He followed his former intention unimpressed by that.
She gave a low sound of well-being while watching the water trickle down his face and chest, then let the back of her head rest against the wall and closed her eyes again.
„I´ll never leave this place again", she told him.
„No objections", came the slow answer.
„Nothin´ better than a hot shower at a hard night´s dawn", she mumbled sleepily.
Her statement caused a throathy chuckle.
„And what would a nice little girl know about that ?" he teased her.
She opened her eyes again, trying to find her balance when he moved to set her carefully down again.
„Don´t know. A nurse knows enough, though."
He tilted his head for a gesture of agreement.
„You´re right", he added after a second. „It´s the thing I am looking forward to the most after a job."
He let his gaze wander down her body and back to her face.
„Gonna promise me something ?" he asked.
She threw him a surprised look.
„We´re already that far ?" she asked airily back.
He followed the outline of her jaw with his thump.
„Don´t let Tool ever get close enough to use his needles on you."
The graveness in his voice surprised her.
„Why shouldn´t I ?"
„I like your body just the way it is."
Something in his voice told her that there wouldn´t be further explanations.
She blinked some water out of her eyelashes.
„Stop makin´ me blush", she demanded lowly. „But there´s not much of a risk anyway."
He slid one finger under her chin to make her look up to him again.
„Promise ?"
She held his gaze for some further moments, pondering on the reasons for the peculiar request. But as she was quite sure that she wouldn´t let anyone tattoo her in any way in the near future, she thought the promise in question as no heavy duty.
Finally, she nodded.
„Promise!"
A day later, at Daisy´s bar...
„Shit!" Cathie cursed, staring down at the blood on her hand.
„Jeez !" Daisy exclaimed. „Let me see your face, honey !"
Lee and Barney rushed through the entrance door.
„What the hell happened ?" Lee asked, checking Cathie´s face out.
„Brandon here freaked out a little", Daisy told him, grimacing. „He obviously confused her with me and demanded some money he thinks I owe him."
„He confused her with you ?" Lee asked in disbelief.
„Stoned, drunk, whatever!" Daisy answered impatiently.
„I didn´t even understand the idiot!" Cathie complained, still trying to get the hang of what just had happened.
Barney threw only a short glance at the unconscious guy right next to the counter. His lip had burst and a a dark bruise was building over the left side of his face. Some of the regulars of the bar had obviously already taken care of him.
„And then he freaked out ?" Barney asked.
„Grabbed her by the hair and smashed her to the counter", Daisy completed.
„You need a doctor, girl", Lee stated, herding her carefully to a chair.
„Can´t be that bad", she muttered. „Tool can fix it."
Lee frowned.
„Come on, we want you as pretty as before, not like Frankenstein´s monster."
„No hospital", she argued.
„We´re going with you", Barney offered, exchanging a helpless glance with Lee.
„No hospital!" she spat.
„Why the hell not ?" Lee barked, losing patience. „There may be bits of broken glass which need to be extracted. Listen to reason !"
„Whatever", she mumbled, paling.
„Take my car", Daisy offered, handing Barney the keys.
„Alright, let´s go!" Barney told Lee. „Daisy, if Tool shows up, do me a favour and fill him in on the details."
The landlady nodded.
„Come on!"
Lee helped Cathie to her feet and the two mercs flanked her carefully on their way to the car.
„What about Gunnar ?" Lee asked Barney across the roof of the car after they had steered Cathie carefully into the backseat.
Barney sighed, then shrugged.
„Call him, for heaven´s sake!"
The middle aged nurse eyed her up carefully.
„Alright, Catherine, I´ll need some details from you, and until we´re done here, a doctor will be here to look after your face, alright ?"
Cathie nodded.
„Just make it quick, I know the routine", she mumbled.
The nurse threw her a wry look.
„So what happened ?" she asked.
„A guy at a bar where I was helping out freaked out and attacked me."
The nurse raised her eyebrows. She had seen the men who had brought her in.
„One of those outside ?"
Cathie stared at her for a second, not understanding, then shook her head.
„No", she explained patiently. „Some guy. I didn´t know him."
„You want me to call the police ?"
„What for ?" Cathie asked, confused. „I have no idea who the guy is."
„And he attacked you. Just like that ?"
Cathie nodded.
The nurse turned her head as if to make sure that nobody was listening in on them, then turned back to Cathie.
„If you are threatened..."
„Jeez!" Cathie exclaimed. „The guys outside are friends, okay ? Now could someone look after my face ?"
„You´re sure that ...
Cathie took a deep breath.
„They are friends, alright ?" she snapped, wondering how many times she would yet have to tell people this.
The nurse turned, obviously not believing a single word she was saying.
„You want something to calm down a little ?"
„No, thanks."
The nurse raised her eyebrows.
„And no injections", Cathie told her.
„Doctor´s with you in a second", the nurse only said before she left.
When the doctor, a lanky guy about Cathie´s age, finally arrived, she had had to lay back, feeling sick.
„How are you feeling ?" he asked.
Cathie closed her eyes.
„Bad. Could we get started ? I´m a doctor myself, so make things quick, would you, please ?"
„Nurse Every tells me you´ve been attacked at a bar ?"
„Correct."
„How ?"
„Some guy stepped in, oviously stoned, threatening me for money. I was helping out a friend working the counter there and drugged as he was, he confused me with her. When I didn´t give him any money, he smashed my head to the counter."
She knew that he had most likely only asked to disctract her from what he was doing meanwhile, but he didn´t seem to believe her either.
„Something wrong ?" she asked.
He checked the data sheet besides the bed.
„Are you sure that none of your... escort out there is responsible for this ?"
Cathie got up to your elbows.
„Fuck, yes!" she yelled. „Could you just do whatever necessary now !?"
„You don´t want something to calm down ?"
„No", she answered, noting how weird her voice sounded by now. „And before you ask, no painkillers, no barbs, no injections either."
„We can keep you her for the night if you´d like to..."
Cathie opened her eyes and pulled herself up to a half sitting position, trying hard to stop her body from shaking.
„Listen !" she snarled. „I had the bad luck to get into some freaks way! None of these guys is my violent husband or my pimp or my dealer, and now just - get - goin´!"
The doctor sat back, taken aback by her reaction. He and the nurse exchanged a short glance.
„Okay, Catherine, I´ll have a look to see if there are any splinters left in the wound", he told her. „But I really recommend a mild sedative. Your blood pressure..."
But Cathie wasn´t listening, her eyes fixed on the nurse who was already preparing some injection.
Barney and Lee, waiting outside the treatment room, exchanged an amused glance. They couldn´t understand the words, but Cathie was obviously short before losing her temper.
„There we go", Lee said, and nodded towards the entrance where Gunnar had just arrived.
The three men skipped the greeting and nodded shortly to each other.
„So where is she ?" Gunnar asked.
„In there", Barney answered. „Doctor´s just in."
„´ she conscious ?"
Barney nodded.
„Yeah. Things are not that serious. No need to worry."
Gunnar frowned, scratching the back of his neck.
„I am not sure, but there might be some issue with painkillers."
Lee crossed his arms in front of his chest and narrowed his eyes.
„Care to explain ?!"
Gunnar didn´t get a chance as that was exactly when the screaming started.
A full scale riot had broken lose the moment Barney bumped into the room.
Cathie was up from the therapy table and shouting at the nurse who was shouting as well, though for some support. Dressing material covered the floor. The doctor had obviously just went down between them. Stumbling back to his feet, he kept getting into the nurse´s way who couldn´t get a hold of Cathie that way.
„What the hell´s goin´ on here ?" Barney barked.
Cathie, stumbling backwards right into his arms, struggled to get away from the doctor and the nurse.
„You can´t just get in here!" the nurse screamed.
„She needs to calm down", the doctor reasoned, indignated and looking for his lost glasses, but obviously otherwise ok.
Cathie braced herself against Barney with the strength of panic.
„I said no injections !" she yelled.
„Well ?" Barmey turned. Cathie had by now managed to bring Barney between her and the medical staff and struggled now against Lee´s careful but nevertheless firm grip.
„Get me out of here", she begged.
„Cathie, you´re..." Barney started but she interrupted him harshly.
„Jus´ get me out of here!"
Dr. Jenna Morrison sat back and threw Barney a contended look.
„We´re done."
She padded Cathie´s arm.
„You made it."
„Thank you", she whispered.
„Get up slowly, will you", the doctor advised her gently.
Gunnar got up from his seat at the top of the therapy table and helped her up, ready to support her if her legs should fail to carry her weight.
„Keep her under watch for the next 24 hours", the doctor advised. „Just in case of a concussion though I don´t think there is one. She´ll be fine, I don´t think there´ll be visible scars later on. And if there should be - I am sure dad could do something for her."
Barney shook hands with her.
„So what do we owe you ?"
„Nothing", the doctor answered, a wry smile on her lips. „If anything comes up - just call me!"
„Thank you."
The woman waved a hand.
„I´ll show you out", she only said.
Barney and Lee exchanged a relieved glance on the drive home. They had extracted Jenna Morrison, daughter of the famous plastic surgeon Jason Morrison, years ago after she´d been kidnapped for ransom. The daughter had her own doctor´s office by now.
After Cathie´s outburst at the hospital, Barney had decided to call her, knowing that she´d be the right one to handle cases like this.
Lee turned to throw a look at the backseat. Cathie, a picture of misery, had curled up there, her head in Gunnar´s lap, his fingers tangled into her hair. Only her unsteady breathing told Lee that she was still awake.
He was still wondering what the tantrum had been about anyway but mused that it was the worst moment to ask such a question.
„Where do you want me to take you ?" Barney asked after clearing his throat.
„To the docks", Gunnar decided. „I´ll keep an eye on her. Alright ?"
He could feel, though actually not see her nodding.
„Alright", Barney nodded.
„Fuck !" she creamed the moment he had closed the door behind them.
„The devil take the whole crap !"
Another sob followed the outburst.
„Why does that shit keep happening to me of all people! What the hell did I do wrong !"
Her voice cracked.
He reached out for her and caressed the back of her neck for a moment. Another shiver rolled through her body.
She turned and took a step forward into his embrace, not able to stop the sobbing.
He lifted her up and carried her over to the kitchen´s counter.
She watched him grabbing another whiskey bottle down from a shelf. He reached out for a glass, but she waved a hand and grabbed the bottle out of his, fumbling it open. She took a good swig, then another. Though she didn´t dare to grimace, the expression on her face told everything. She set the bottle aside then and bent forward into his arms again, closing her eyes.
„Don´t let go", she begged lowly.
In the early morning, still before sunset, she found him on deck, reclining in his favourite chair.
„There you are", she mumbled. She looked horrible, but somehow composed by now. Her pose signalled some kind of sullen determination.
Finally, she had gathered enough courage to look him in the eyes.
„I am sorry", she said simply.
There was nothing else she could do besides hoping that she hadn´t ruined things completely.
He raised his eyebrows and sat back. For once, she couldn´t read in the steelblue eyes and mused that it was not only because of the dim light.
When he didn´t comment, she took another deep breath before she spoke again.
„I should have told you", she whispered. „And now I am sorry I haven´t."
He held her gaze.
„And now you´re pissed off", she mused, her voice raspish by now.
„Get over here!" he demanded impatiently.
To her surprise, he pulled her to his lap. He eyed her up for a short while, then brushed a strand of hair out of her face.
„You had no obligation to tell me. And if you´re now reminded of some piece of advice a mutual friend of ours gave you - there´s still a lot you don´t know about me as well."
She straightened up a little, not sure what to make of this statement. He didn´t sound very angry.
„If I get involved with somebody, I´d like to know if he´s addicted", she told him. „And I had a goddamn obligation!"
„You´re clean, no ?"
„You got the point, didn´t you ?"
She averted her eyes again.
„I´m obviously on a roll screwing things up", she added, frustrated.
To her surprise, he chuckled.
„You realized that I haven´t thrown you out ?"
„Not yet ?" she asked.
He shook his head, his features mirroring incomprehension.
„I am not going to."
She took a deep breath and then another one, overwhelmingly relieved.
„It´s a matter of trust!" she argued nevertheless.
He chuckled again.
„Want me to shout at you ? You´re going to feel better then ?"
She chewed on her lip for a moment.
„It´s what I´d do", she admitted then. „That´s probably why I feel like I deserve it."
He settled back and pulled her with him.
„If I shout at you, you´re going to cry", he pointed out to her.
She frowned, though amused by his matter-of-tone.
„And I am just too old for that", he told her.
„You´re not mad at me ?" she asked, still not believing it.
He shook his head.
„You´ve got a really bad conscience, haven´t you ?"
„Yeah."
He chuckled.
„A girl with a bad conscience for not telling the whole truth. Darlin´, are you aware that you´re a rarity ?"
„If I were in your spot, I´d be damn pissed", she stated.
He took a deep breath, then tilted his head.
„You would have told me somewhere down the road."
She moved anxiously and he cupped the uninjured side of her face with his hand.
„Relax!"
She sighed.
„But if it´s any consolation to you", he went on, "I am possibly not that mad at you ´cause I already knew about your little issue."
She lifted her head again to be able to look at him, nonplussed.
„How ?" she asked after some seconds.
„I may be nuts, but I am not an idiot."
„I didn´t take you for one", she replied lowly. „Still, how ?"
He followed the outline of her jaw with his fingertips.
„Don´t know. They way you asked questions. The way you´re handling any kind of painkillers you´re working with."
He chuckled.
„The way you endure hangovers."
„Don´t remind me on that", she begged, still trying to handle her relief.
„Regarding the addiction issue, it´s probably not wise for the two of us getting involved", she added after another minute.
He laughed out, leaving her puzzled again.
„If you´re looking for reasons why you should better not get involved with me, I can give you a dozen in addition! You´d have been good-advised listening to Barney and stay away from me!"
„O shut up, bad boy!"
He noted contentedly that her defiance was back.
„I am just saying it´s risky. If one of us slides back, he will probable take the other one with him. That´s all I´m saying!" she added.
„You could just as well argue that we both know the risks - and the signs. If one slides back, the other one might be able to realize things early enough to kick the other one´s ass and avoid the worst."
She frowned.
„If you´re that keen on being honest with me tonight", he challenged,"then tell me - if you hadn´t had your own problems with it, would you have accepted mine the way you did ?"
„I wished I could be as open as you about the whole thing."
He laughed out.
„In my case, confidentiality was simply not an option!"
„Doesn´t change the fact that I should have told you."
She sighed.
„I am sorry for the whole mess", she added.,
„I am sorry I wasn´t there."
„To do what exactly ?"
„To talk to the guy."
„Oh there we go! Told you I don´t want you to get into brawls for me."
„Wondering why", he said and chuckled. „I usually win."
„You usually get your face ruined!"
„Look who´s talking", he reproached mildly.
„So that is why they kicked you out of the Army, isn´t it ?" he changed topic.
She nodded.
„Yeah. After the last attack, sleep would just not come to me. After the third night, I started taking stimulants to stay focused. Bad idea. The rest was like I told you. I had turned the guy down before, then he sold me out. The bad thing is, he was as addicted as I was - he was even selling the stuff."
„There surely was a questioning. You didn´t tell them ?"
She chuckled.
„Sure I did. But I had to go and lost my licence while he kept his job. Nice, isn´t it ? I´d bet that you´ll not find the crucial part of my statement at any file there!"
„It´s also the reason why Kingsley wanted you for the Hawaii job, isn´t it."
„Yeah."
She sighed again, looking crestfallen.
„Another point I haven´t been honest with you."
„You didn´t lie."
She grinned weakly.
„That´s splitting hairs, isn´t it ? He wanted me because of the drug thing. Though I´d still like to know what it is about that job that made him forgive me so quickly."
He narrowed his eyes.
„Is that what Olsen did ? Tryin´ to blackmail you regarding the drug issue, knowing that you´d prefer not to talk about it ? And Barney didn´t know ?"
She averted her eyes, taking another deep breath.
„He said that Barney would surely be...disappointed to find out about it."
This time, Gunnar growled lowly, tensing.
„I´d bet that´s not what he said!" he rumbled, straightening up. His movement threw her off balance and he had to steady her.
„After Barney had shot me, it took a while until I was back on track. We agreed that I would take a temporary leave for the withdrawal. When Barney made it known that he was looking for a temporary replacement, Olsen tried to displace me."
„He joined the team?" Cathie asked, disbelief in her voice.
„No. Barney didn´t accept him, though the guy virtually begged him." He swore in Swedish and Cathie felt that she didn´t want to learn about the meaning of the words he´d used.
He shooed her from his lap with an apologetic sound.
„Damn !" he said, getting over to the crate he used as a target for knife throwing exercises, yanking a knife out of the wood.
„Honestly this time, Cathie - did he threaten you in any other way ?"
She had settled down at his former place, using his jacket as a blanket. Now she shook her head.
„No. But he didn´t need to, did he ?" she said, sounding frustrated again.
He remembered angrily how shaken she had looked.
„You´re not going to..."
She interrupted herself, watching him ramming the blade angrily back into the crate up to the handle. The movement had not even looked very powerful.
„No", he assured her.
„Sure ?" she asked, doubting his statement.
He nodded, turning towards her and leaning back against the railing.
„As I said before - patience is a virtue." He grinned darkly. „And Olsen´s time will come, don´t worry!"
Cathie pulled her knees under her chin and managed somehow to wrap herself almost completely in his jacket. The sight made him grin.
„So there we are", she said. "Two former addicted."
"Two insomniacs", he added.
"Two scarfaces", she completed. "What a nice couple we make!"
He returned to her and they found a way to sit their comfortably together. She made herself comfortable at his lap again, this time in a way that enabled her to look up to the sky.
"But see ?" she asked, gesturing towards her battered face. "That´s exactly what´s wrong with my life!"
„What ?"
„Take Tess!"
„Your friend, Goldilocks with the gold cards ?"
„Yeah. Now, people like Tess...shit like that just doesn´t happen to them! People don´t just step into her life and beat her up or ruin her apartment or cheat on her! Members of her family don´t just die before their time! Everything she is and does is nice, her life is a girlish dream in pink - and everything she touches turns into gold!"
Her voice had taken on a taleteller´s tone.
"Thought you like her", he commented.
"I do like her! Still, do you see what I mean ?"
„Tell me", he encouraged her lowly.
„This may sound crazy..."
He chuckled for an answer.
„Go ahead!"
„We´re on the darker side of the mirror."
She reached out for the inevitable bottle of whiskey right next to the chair and took a sip.
„We can look through. See the other side."
She laughed lowly.
„But we can never go there - only watch. And all that shit happening is reserved for our side only."
„If things look that bad on our side", he said after a short while. „Why going on ?"
She nestled up to him.
„I don´t know. For a while, I simply tried to stop looking. But it´s like another drug."
A gust of wind made her shiver despite the jacket and his warmth.
„You´re still trying ?"
She shook her head.
„No", she whispered sleepily.
„But since I´ve been with you people, I sometimes think about simply breakin´ the damn thing."