14

Now that I was out of the hospital, it was time for me to find answers for myself. Rafael said I could no longer be a part of the agreement when it came to AntiDom. But that was okay. I had my own secret mission. I would continue in the group, so I could really figure out if my leader was lying about what he said about all alphas or not.

When I had time after school, I would visit Orion and we would go to meetings at Albert's home in the Hills. That's where the rich people lived. Albert's home was always open to us. We had more members now. It was very hard keeping this stuff from Rafael, but he suspected nothing. I was at the house with a few friends from school who were still trying to cope with the shooting weeks ago. We sat in the living room, with cups of coffee and snacks on the table.

"Donna, it is perfectly fine to feel what you're feeling. You were in the area where the shooting began. With time and treatment, I am sure the nightmares will be less severe, or maybe even stop." I said. I had felt more support from AntiDom and Rafael whenever I was around them. Both wanted to help feel better. Once I was fully functional, Rafael was gently trying to get me back in the mood. Ever since he found I took a boot to the vag, he's been trying to make me feel better down there. I was honestly, making him wait. I wanted to maybe seduce him when I was completely healed. I knew he was frustrated with me, and I was thankful he didn't push.

I wanted to try and see if Albert was wrong, so if the time comes that I should leave AntiDom, I could do it. The door opened, and in came Rafael with his briefcase and black coat over his pink shirt and black suspenders on. When he saw us, he slowed his walk and looked around. I got up from my spot on the sofa.

"Hi. Um everyone this is my… alpha." I said with clear discomfort, being the first time I actually introduced him as my alpha. I looked at Rafael once more. "These are some friends who needed coping with what happened at school." He nodded in understanding walking further in.

"Of course. Hola mis amigos." he said. The group already began to get up and descend towards the door. Donna gave me a quick hug.

"I can call you whenever right?" she asked. I nodded and smiled.

"Whenever." I assured her and she smiled and hugged me again before grabbing her bag and leaving with everyone else. The door closed and it was just us two again. I gave a small smile before turning to pick up the cups and paper plates.

"Your hair looks nice." he complimented awkwardly. I smiled more and looked at him.

"Thank you. How was work?" I asked moving over into the kitchen and throwing away the stuff.

"Fine fine. I put a rapist away." he said nonchalantly. I grinned putting the extra cups in a cabinet.

"A rapist. Who were his victims?" I asked.

"Alpha women." he said putting his suitcase down. I arched a brow and turned to face him.

"Was he an alpha?" I asked. He shook his head moving into the kitchen and crossing his arms leaning against the fridge.

"No. No diría." he answered. I grinned. Ever since he found out I knew Spanish from taking a class, after looking at my transcripts on my laptop, he began to speak it more. I think he liked having to talk to someone in Spanish. I nodded.

"Strange. No one claimed him I assumed." I told moving over to him and he shrugged.

"No." he said. I nodded walking around him.

"He was most likely a beta then." I said moving to sit at the table. Rafael followed my actions and sat on the opposite side.

"What makes you say that?" he asked. I gave him a look.

"Alphas are proud even the shy, silent people. To find out you maintain power over someone, you don't hide that from the world. He was most likely ashamed. Maybe ashamed he will find his alpha in prison." I said. He kept his eyes on me staring at me for a moment.

"Are you ashamed… of me, to be my beta?" he asked quietly. I was stunned by his question, maybe it was because I was so hesitant to introduce him earlier. I shook my head.

"No." I replied. He continued to stare at me, his gaze growing hard.

"So why have you been distant?" he asked. I sighed hearing this question before. So now I got up.

"Rafael please." I said moving to push my chair in and now he followed.

"No, don't do that. I have noticed you have been distant, avoiding my gazes, cringing beneath my touches, not letting me touch you. You act like you are just visiting my home- our home." he said. I crossed my arms and sighed some.

"Look I have my way of coping with things, okay. You've been a really big help, but there are some things I just have to do for myself." I snapped lightly.

"What stuff? What things do you have to do? Let me in. Don't push me out, Monkey." he whispered. I stared up at him for a moment and didn't say anything. He now just shook his head, a look of giving up on his face.

"I am just…" I started and bit my lip and looked away with a shake of my head. Rafael walked closer to me.

"Que?" he asked. I didn't want to open up to him.

"I am just trying to get to know you again." I muttered. He arched a brow tilting his head.

"Get to know me again?" he asked. I sighed.

"I am trying to accept that time and space has thrown us together. Sometimes, I don't like it because of the thought of having to answer to you scares me, make me feel like I am second class or something. You don't seem to really want to control me. So I am trying to give it a shot okay." I said crossing my arms and turning away with embarrassment. It was too quiet and so now I just wanted to leave. "I'm going to take a shower."

But before I could even more, arms wrapped around me. Warm strong arms that my body immediately melted into without my brain's consent.

"Oh mi pequeño mono , no tienes idea de lo feliz que estoy de oírte decir eso." he whispered slowly turning me around to face him. I stared up at him for a moment shaking my head in confusion.

"Why did you pick me?" I asked softly. He looked at me with almost a blank face of his own.

"I don't know. Maybe there is something missing in both of our lives that the other can give. We are all born missing pieces of our lives and we rely on the other to piece us together." he said. I looked him over for a moment in thought.

"What do you get from me?" I asked. He gave a dry smile and shook his head.

"I don't even know." he answered honestly. I began to look down, but his fingers under my chin lift me back up and I am staring at him intently. "And maybe, if we can go months without fighting, we can figure it out together." I thought about his words for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Okay." I replied and he smiled and gently kissed me. I replied to it and we held our pose inhaling each other scents before leaning back. I had an idea well more like an experiment. My alpha is all about playing by the rules. I wondered if he would break them for me. "I need your car to go to the library in town. The library is closed. I know you've been working all day."

Rafael shook his head.

"No. Still got my keys with me. Let's go. I'll drive." he said moving to the door. I merely smiled innocently.

"Okay." I replied and followed him. Maybe I wanted to know if he could go beyond the laws for me.

Notes

Barba: He would not say… oh my little monkey, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.