Chapter fourteen: Dreams Annoy Everybody
My dreams were still going strong only now instead of seeing just my loved ones I was seeing all the people that live on the ship. Do you have any idea just how many people die on that ship? Then there are the people who feel pain all forms of pain from the bad date all the way to death. Lucky me I got to see all of that every night all night long.
When my family was alive I could still have normal dreams but since the planet okay moon where they died I stopped having normal dreams and now I only see visions. Of course since my life just has to suck maximum levels I can't have happy visions only sad, depressing, horrific ones. You would be surprised just how much death you can see in one night.
I felt I owed these people they got my friends away from those fucking creatures on that moon so I wanted to pay them back. The only thing I had to offer was my visions so I tried to protect their people as a thank you for protecting mine. Yet no matter if it was trying to prevent death or getting your heart broken from a bad date they never believed me. (Sometimes as hard as it is to believe, it is their time to die. The other thing you could have done is gotten to know one on one who would die. So when the time came they could have a friend next to them.) (That is a painful suggestion to make. It hurts to lose the people you get to know.)(Hunny the whole point to all of this is so that we get to go back to heavenly father in order to do that you have to die.) (That part I understand that part but I need to pay them back my debt to them is too big. I don't have anything to offer them except a chance to save their loved ones. I know that people need to die and I know that it's not a bad thing to die but not everyone holds those views and they would welcome even just one more hour so they have the chance to say goodbye.)
After a while I stopped trying to tell them about what I saw I would just start showing up and trying to save their people myself. But those goddamned locked doors caused more deaths on that ship than all the weapons of the universe. (But those locked doors also saved lives because if just any one had walked in they would have died too.) (That doesn't help when you are locked in with your murderer and the only one who is there to help can't get in.)(True but if any other kid had walked in they would have died too. Also dear you must remember living is only part of this life. To truly live you have to die. It is sad it sucks but it is nobody's fault. Also dear you must remember living is only part of this life. To truly live you have to die. Again It is sad it sucks but it is nobody's fault not yours not mine I have learned in my terribly long life that I envy others who get to die. They get to see their families that have passed on before them. Some days I wish that my life would end but then I remember my calling in life. Is to be the one thou the ages that never changes are always there fighting against the things that go bump in the night. Never mourn their deaths but rejoice on the lives they live.) (There are some deaths that are consequences from others choices but if other choices are added to the mix then the consequences change also. Death is not so certain in outcomes.)
That and the medical staff that don't believe a twelve year old kid knows what a fucking medical emergency actually is. (Look at this problem as an adult, would you believe a three year if they told you these things, no hunny as much as you say yes you would you wouldn't, you don't always listen cause, "you are older and know better.") (That is where you are wrong. It doesn't matter if I believed them or not I still would have looked into it. They never did you know not until I was a 'member of the crew' and even then they were slow to look into it. I would have to beam them to sickbay myself.)(Hunny you still don't always look into everything. Also remember it is their time to go. Just think they passed their test and they get to go home and see their loves that have passed away. Why did you think that even Dorian had to hold back and not help? It was their time to go, yes it hurts but it selfish to not to let them go home.) (But I don't have anything else to pay them back. What else am I supposed to do? I can't spend eternity indebted to them we are taught to stay out of debt.)
Anyway I remember that I would drive the guy who shot me crazy. I would be leaned against the wall by the dead person's room when security finally got there and would always tell him that if I could have opened the door it might have been different. After about thirty times he got fed up and talked the Captain into giving me a security clearance.