*Chapter Fourteen. The Irrationality of Reality*

Fang sighed and closed her eyes. "And that's what landed me here. See what I mean when I said I seriously messed up?"

The brunette almost looked expectantly to the grave as if waiting for an answer before she continued. "I tried to keep my promise to you, Mom, but I don't know if I can do that anymore while being near them. My family…" she took a deep breath. "It's grown. It's not just Vanille anymore. I have Snow, Hope, Lightning, and even Sazh." Fang shook her head, "I shouldn't have even gone that far, but no. I had to be stubborn and make even more connections. I went against my better judgment and I befriended even more people. And by this happening I'm hurting all of them, too." Her fingers twisted together as her teeth grazed her lip. "I'm hurting the one person I've ever managed to trust with everything."

She sat there in silence for a while before a dry laugh escaped her. "And to think, Teacher was always right," she said. The young woman flipped her hair out of her face and looked up at the sky. "The first day we met he told me that I had to sever my connections, but I had to be stubborn and refuse. I didn't want to hurt Vanille even more after all those years of keeping me out of trouble and taking care of me."

Her eyes narrowed. "If I would've done as he advised then we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with," she snarled. "If I broke away from her then I wouldn't have released Ragnarok and Oerba wouldn't be in shambles. I would've never gone to Cocoon or Konoha or Suna and all those people wouldn't be risk like they are now! Just because I was too selfish and tenacious to get think of them!"

Her hands clenched into fists, her muscles tensing up as guilt and anger bubbled up. "Sometimes I wish I was never born because of all the things I've done, what I'll do," she admitted. "Maybe if I wasn't you'd still be here with Vanille and the villagers, happy," she whispered. "There wouldn't be a War of Transgression or Ragnarok, Vanille would have her mother and friends…"

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "But that didn't happen. Vanille and I were, 'Blessed with the Beast,' and we're supposed to, "Bring forth the Divine and purify the worlds," and you know what? I've accepted that fact for years, because it doesn't matter what I do, I'm always going to be a demon. If Etros wouldn't have took pity on Cocoon and put us in stasis, then that world would have been cleansed. But this…I can't be near them while in this state…"

Her fist came up and she brought it down on her thigh. "I should've just listened to him and stayed away from everyone! I shouldn't care for people, I only end up hurting them or they end up getting used against me! I'm not worth getting killed over and I never will be! I give up on making ties with people I can't just-"

"Well I don't."

Fang's eyes opened when she was cut across and she quickly stood and turned to face the person behind her. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her words sharp.

"What does it look like?" Gaara questioned back, his arms hanging down his sides.

The brunette glared at her boyfriend and turned her back to him. "Go away."

Gaara blinked at his girlfriend's back, but stayed where he was. "No."

A snarl passed through the brunette as she spun back around. "Why?" she snapped, walking closer to him. "Why won't you leave me alone? There's nothing I can do for you. I can't help you! All I do is cause more problems!"

"And I don't?" Gaara asked, stepping closer. "Fang, when will you see that we're not that different from each other?" the red-head shook his head slightly. "I was in your place not that long ago, but you helped me out of it."

"You're not a key to total destruction! You have a chance of redemption. I was damned from the day I was born!" she yelled.

"Fang-"

"No! don' ya dare, 'Fang,' me! I'm righ' and ya know it!" Fang yelled venomously, her accent beginning to creep back into her voice and causing Gaara to blink in shock.

"Tha' is my focus, my curse! 'Nille and I are s'pposed ta make the greates' sacrifice and bring forth the end of humanity! We don' getta choice, she's Devine while I'm Damned! The protecta of ligh' and the gatekeeper of Hell, tha's the only reason we're alive! It doesn' matter how far we run away, we'll bring nothin' but destruction!" Fang ranted loudly.

"I shoulda neva gotten involved, it was a mistake! Every single person tha' I befriended is now in danger cuz of me! Cuz in the end the only thang I can do is cause more pain an' sufferin'," the brunette closed her eyes and gritted her teeth as she shook her head. "I ain't gonna jus' sit back an' watch as I ruin your life! The only option is ta go our separate ways and ta just forge-"

Gaara quickly reached up and placed his hands on her face gently. "Fang…Fang! Fang!" He tried to grab her attention but she just kept on shaking her head with her eyes shut tight. He tightened his hold slightly and held her face firmly in place. "Fang, look at me!"

The brunette struggled against his hold without much spirit before her movements stilled and she reluctantly opened her eyes. Gaara's breath caught in his throat when he saw the pain in her aquamarine eyes, and he lightly trailed his thumbs across her skin as he cupped her cheek. "Fang, I'm not going to leave you," he said. "You don't have to deal with this alone."

"No, no one can help me. I can't stay with ya, I'm only gonna make thangs worse! The best thang ya can do is forget abou' me-"

Gaara's hands tilted her head up and captured her lips in a deep kiss as he pulled her closer. Raw emotion poured out of both of them as their lips conveyed the words they didn't speak. When the need for oxygen became too much, Gaara pulled back, his breath mingling with Fang's as they both breathed heavily. "I loved you ever since I met you, Fang." Gaara said, lips brushing against hers with every word. "I don't care what you or anyone else says. I'm not going to leave. If you run, I'll follow after you, no matter how far," he said lightly stroking her jaw as he rested his forehead against hers. "Fang, you're the only thing that makes me feel human. I can't just act like this never happened," he spoke quietly, his eyes boring into hers. "I'd rather die than live without you."

The young woman shook her head again. "Don't say that!"

"Well I did, and I'm not taking it back."

Before he knew it the L'Cie started to struggle against his hold. "I hate you," she said quietly. "I hate you so much."

Even though she was saying the words, he could hear the emptiness of those words that were doing nothing to convince him. Her body was shaking, with fury or sadness he couldn't tell as he wrapped his arms around her. Her eyes looked up at him, a torn expression evident in her eyes as she placed her hands on his chest and tried to shove him away. Gaara only tightened his hold on her, refusing to budge at her struggles.

"I hate how you get under my skin! I should be able to break off ties without any problem, but then you go off saying things like that!" Fang vented, trying to wiggle free.

'He can't, he can't possibly l-lov- like me like that.'

Fang tried to twist out of his grip, her eyes squeezing shut as her mind started to flood with thoughts.

'Is it really that hard to believe that he feels that w-'

'Oh course he doesn't! It's just a crush!'

'But even I can't argue how much he means to m-'

'I'm only a teenager, how would I love? The only person that really loves me is Vanille, period.'

'Then what do I feel toward him?'

'That's simple! I feel…I feel…'

Her hands clenched to fists as she gritted her teeth, turning her head down to the ground as the cracks in the wall that was protecting her from hurt started to grow.

'I love him…'

Her movements stilled as she took a deep breath. "I hate what you do to me," she whispered. "I hate how much you mean to me." She rested her head against his shoulder, her fingers twisting into his shirt. "I hate how complicated you make my life, even more than it already was," she continued quietly, burying her face into his neck. "I hate how you make me realize the worst things at the most inconvenient times."

The brunette bit her lip, forcing down the urge to run away, because she was already in too deep. She could almost see the cracks delving deeper in that wall that protected her heart and herself after everything she had went through. "I hate that I love you," she whispered as the last crack divided the barrier and it crumbled down, leaving her feel unprotected.

Gaara's arms tightened around her. "I don't hate that I love you," he said softly. "It makes me feel like I have a reason to live. I want to hear you tell me that you love me and be afraid of it. I want you to trust me like I trust you. I want you to be able to come to me with your problems and to except my help like I did with yours. Fang, I love you, and I won't sit back and watch as you're in pain. I refuse to let you go through this alone, because you're not alone in this. Whatever has to do with you has to do with me now."

He lightly ran his hands up and down her back as she slowly relaxed against him. "I don't want to restrain you and make you feel trapped. I want you to feel alive. I want you to be able to open up and not be in fear of being hurt again. I would rather die than hurt you in any way, I refuse to be the reason you're suffering."

Fang buried her face in his neck, her arms coming up to circle around him as she calmed down.

Gaara couldn't help but to feel relieved once she had finally calmed down. Her body relaxed against him as he held her close. Gaara sighed softly, closing his eyes. "Why must you make everything so difficult?"

"Nothing in life is easy," she mumbled as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Despite the previous stressful situation, Gaara couldn't help but to smile slightly at Fang's answer as he gently kissed her head. "As difficult as you are, I'm going to be here next to you the whole time."