Misery Loves Company - A Vampire Knight Fanfiction

Disclaimer: Don't own anyone or anything from Vampire Knight as made by Matsuri Hino.

Author's Notes: Yo! This will be another good chappie- lots of random angst! :3 And I'm reading Blackened Wing's Five Hundred Miles and Blood Moon and lightpathetic's A Place For Us so there is heavy influence (but not verbatim- that would be unforgivable) from them in this chappie, so credit and affections to them and their much-better-style-than-mine-ness. :knows that I suck:

Chappie Warning: Some romance between our two vampires, but all is not what it seems. o.o

Enjoy!

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Chapter 14- Beyond Repair

Zero's leg bounced impatiently until Kaname finally left him alone for a moment to go take a shower. He insisted that the hunter take one first to get the offending scent of Ichiru off since he hadn't had a shower in days, but Zero had barely washed off- it was more like a steam bath. The ex-human had just stood there under the spray. He felt utterly horrible.

Even now, as Kaname bathed in his attached bathroom, he hunched over miserably and sunk both hands into his clean and fluffed silver locks, squeezing. His world was ending, it felt like. This hollow, empty feeling in his soul was like someone just came along with a mace and tore a chunk out of his very being. The pain inside was accordingly so. And, worse, it wasn't letting up- it was getting worse. The chill of this lonliness was eating him inside out and he let out a small moan of despair as he sunk lower, his head almost lying in his own lap.

He wanted to die so badly...

--

Kaname felt miles better after a shower and the happinest thrummed throughout his being until he probably glowed with mirth as he slipped on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Zero was alive and Ichiru was dead (his body being taken care of- properly. Zero wouldn't have wanted mistreatment of his body) and a mind-wiped Yuuki was safe in the Moon Dorm with Aido and the others and now he and Zero even had a two-way bond. Everything was perfect...

Well, it was...

He emerged from the bathroom to the sobering sight of a certain silver-haired ex-human rocking back and forth slightly with his head in his lap, masking his face with his hands. A small fraction of sorrow pricked at Kaname's mind from Zero's side of the bond. At first, he panicked, rushing over to Zero, saying worriedly, "Zero, what's wrong?" But it was then that a string of words flashed through his mind, reminding him that things weren't over just yet.

If I die, you'll go mad...

As Kaname well knew at this point, a severed blood bond can iradicate a man and Zero just had one broken. Even if it was for the best, his and Ichiru's life were intertwined, but with his twin dead, it felt like half of Zero's own life was destroyed. Ichiru was still hurting poor Zero and Kaname will be damned if the demented kid got Zero in the end after all they've been through this past hectic week.

"Kaname..." Zero moaned, his voice constricted and shaky. The hunter did not remove his face from his hands for fear of throwing up, feeling nauseous from the random traumatic feeling.

Immediately, Kaname knelt in front of the hunter and put his hands on either side of Zero's bowed head firmly yet gently. He had to get Zero's mind off of the broken feeling- he knew how he felt. Kaname had experienced it firsthand when he thought Zero had died and was now feeling a whole other kind of pain at thinking that his Zero was having to suffer that same pain. But what was worse was that he also knew how badly Zero just ached to give in and submit to the unimaginable urge to kill himself unless there was something else to stave it off.

"Zero. Zero, please, look at me," he soothingly said, tilting his head downwards to catch the ex-human's eyes with his own the moment they left the little cocoon of his hands. But at first nothing happened and Kaname thought he'd gone into some kind of mental breakdown. Then he heard it:

"Ichiru... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Ichiru, please... I need you..."

Kaname frowned hopelessly as Zero continued to whisper something along those lines for a few moments to himself. How could he say that...? was the first thing that Kaname thought, angrily. The guy raped and abused him and now he says that he needs him? In his moment of bitterness, Kaname moved to stand and maybe just observe Zero in this pitiful state to make sure he didn't kill himself. If he didn't want Kaname to help ease the pain, then fine. He wouldn't.

But when he stood and began to drop his hands from the soft silver hair of the hunter, Zero suddenly looked up with swimming eyes at the loss of the warm palms.

"No! K-Kaname...!" he whispered urgently as if he'd just realized the pureblood was here; his amythest eyes wide and gazing up at the brunette with the expression of a child who had been told to wait here in the dark, alone. Oddly enough, it was kind of what it was. Zero was in a mental blackness and Kaname's mitigrating presence was making itself known in a most comforting manner. "P...Please..." he whimpered, reaching forward and twisting his fingers into the cloth of his shirt, pulling him back down.

The display of dependence from the strong hunter tugged on more than Kaname's heartstrings, it pulled insistantly on the bond and he lost the unnecessary bitterness in favor of a sweeter emotion. Tenderness pulsed from his being and he cupped Zero's now tear-streaked face with both hands. He sighed at the sight before him: Zero mewling out whines and nuzzling into his hands. Of course Zero didn't need Ichiru- he just needed the half of his life energy and psychological reaches that had been shared with Ichiru back. But now that Ichiru was dead and had taken those mentally crucial things with him, betraying Zero's bond's trust, Zero was left to agonize. Kaname understood that now and murmured, sweet and sugary like honey, "I'm here... Don't cry, Zero."

"Oh, God... It hurts so much... Kaname..." he groaned, closing his eyes tightly and fisting his hands tighter in Kaname's shirt. "Make it... make it stop..." he pleaded, knowing he sounded so weak and so pathetic. But Kaname would never think of Zero like that, even if he wanted to, and he leaned down, resting his forehead against Zero's feverish one.

"I'll try..."

And he would try, as best as he thought he could using the only way he could think of.

He leaned up and pressed his lips to Zero's salty eyelids fleetingly, feeling Zero shudder at the much-needed contact. He had to feel Kaname's loving, caring bond over Ichiru's tainted and now tattered one, so he pressed closer to Kaname's warmth, sucking in a calming breath through his fangs. The pureblood forced a smile to Zero to show him everything was fine, but truthfully seeing Zero so broken up was scaring him a little. Many a vampire had gone mad by way of a severed blood bond... but then again, maybe they didn't have another one to fall back on like Zero did.

"Oh... Kaname..." Zero moaned, sounding desprate for something to anchor him to sanity and he rubbed his cheek against Kaname's clothed belly like a kitty cat. Even though this was no time to get horny, Kaname's stomach formed a knot of heat and dropped it southward, making him squirm a little. "Touch me... please..." Zero whispered hoarsely; not helping to calm the older vampire's libido.

Kaname blinked in aroused confusion, but he didn't need to be told twice. He swiftly moved his hands up to Zero's back and gently rubbed his tensed shoulders and played with the soft fuzz at the back of his neck that tapered away from his hairline back there. Zero purred lightly at the contact and his hands loosened a tiny little bit from Kaname's shirt as the powerful two-way bond released comfort and affection to his nerves and senses. Kaname is here... He will always be here...

Zero wanted more of this pleasure, but, as he began pushing up the hem of Kaname's shirt, little did he know that the pureblood was trying not to let himself do anything too... perverted to Zero in this state. Obviously, Zero was not completely in his right mind at the moment, and Kaname felt that if he did anything more than simple touching and soft, consoling words, it would feel like he was taking advantage of the melancholic Zero. However, Zero had a different idea in mind and he slid both hands up Kaname's shirt, making the pureblood shiver with delight.

"Zero..." he said softly, torn between wanting to stop him and letting him do as he please. He... was leaning more towards the latter. The former was a wiser choice, given their delecate, sprouting relationship, but his body seemed to want to leave Zero to his own devices. Besides, if he just let Zero do what he wanted with no returning advances, then the hunter couldn't blame him, right?

Zero didn't react at all to Kaname's half-protest and just focused on the feel of the pureblood's smooth skin on each side of his waist. He moved his right hand to the flat, firm plane of his stomach and drifted lower slowly. He dipped one of his fingers into the slight hollow of Kaname's belly button and the brunette's body quivered again. Zero smirked slyly and continued lower with that hand until he hit the waistline of Kaname's pants. He heard Kaname's breath hitch and he looked up to the pureblood. He looked calm, but his eyes and set mouth belied his exterior and Zero knew he was starting to lose it. Of course, the rather obvious protrusion in Kaname's pants didn't hurt Zero's theory, either. Zero thumbed the elastic away from Kaname's body and pressed ever lower.

Kaname shifted awkwardly as Zero's hands checked out his excited anatomy leisurely. He felt weird just standing here while Zero did this, but... he knew how Zero was. If Kaname did anything, later Zero would accuse him of molesting him without Zero fully knowing what was going on...

He glanced down at Zero's hand in his pants and up his shirt- the one in his shirt moving around to the small of his back to pull him closer again.

Then again, if he did nothing, Zero could just turn it around again and say that he let Zero do this on purpose, knowing that Zero was out of it from losing Ichiru. Kaname sighed... Zero was so hard to understand. Suddenly, Zero did something quite wonderful down in his pants and Kaname let out a gasping shudder, gripping the hunter's shoulders. Zero seemed pleased with this reaction and did it again, whatever the hell it was, and Kaname's reason crashed to the ground. He had been thinking that maybe he should be the responsible one and stop Zero's roaming hands and instead just sit with him and talk about something to keep his mind off of Ichiru, but...

"Nng... God, Z-Zero..."

...That was not going to happen at this point.

He gave in to Zero's pulls from his left hand and moved closer, looking to deepen Zero's hold on him as well. But before he got a chance to mount the bed, positioning himself above the silver-haired vampire, and thus, mounting Zero, the hunter stood up. They were so close already that Zero's body was flush against Kaname's and their heat mingled deliciously, making both vampire's eyelids flutter for a moment in dizziness. Zero's hand left Kaname's pants, though, and he just wrapped his arms around Kaname- his hands still inside of his shirt, though- and held him close, burying his head into his chest.

"Kaname..." he sighed. It was amazing how whole and content he felt when he was with the pureblood. Words could barely discribe it- before the bonds he thought he had felt all of the emotions a person could feel, but this was one the world hadn't thought of a word for yet. The blizzard that was the broken bond was fading considerably, but now in addition to seeking relief from that biting horribleness of the shattered bond, he wanted Kaname more than ever. He wasn't sure if it was strictly the bond doing this or something more, but right now he didn't really care.

The ex-human moved his lips to Kaname's neck and kissed his sensitive bite-area somewhat tentatively despite the burning desire building up inside of his body, making the pureblood tremor and tilt his head away, silently begging for a bite. But Zero did not bite right away, even though his fangs throbbed and lengthened eagerly. He had some of Kaname's blood earlier when the pureblood unknowingly dissolved the second poison Ichiru had injected by giving Zero's corpse his lifeblood, but Zero would never tire of the older vampire's fine, red wine.

His pearly white fangs' sharp tips brushed over Kaname's neck teasingly, but he moved to nip at his collarbone instead while Kaname groaned frustratingly. He closed his eyes and brought his fingers up to tangle themselves in Zero's lustrous tresses.

"Zero..."

"You can wait..." the hunter huskily growled back even as his silver-lavender eyes were tinting with the telltale ruby of bloodlust. Obviously, he was biding his time to either annoy Kaname or to make that much better when he did bite him, if he did.

Kaname huffed inwardly about how cocky Zero was getting when he was in control to some extent and made a mental note to make sure Zero did not get used to it. But it was kinda sexy to see Zero dominate him, especially since no one else would dare try to subjugate him- a pureblood. This was actually a new experience for the brunette, but he would not let Zero know that. Kaname wasn't one for not being in control and if he told Zero that, the hunter would probably get all self-satisfied at making the high-and-mighty Kaname Kuran submit to him.

But his wry thoughts were interrupted by Zero suddenly ripping Kaname's shirt off over his head and tossing it somewhere.

"Zero!" Kaname said in a sort of scolding manner, trying to hide his shock. Zero was... aggressive... And damn did it turn him on! He watched as Zero rid himself of his own troublesome shirt and before the hunter could return to Kaname, the older vampire caught the other's head in his hands to hold him still. At first, he looked startled at the jolt it had caused, but Kaname quickly moved in and passionately kissed Zero full on the lips. Kissing on the neck and face were one thing, but the mouth is one of an animal's most vulnerable areas. It was sensitive in there and it led to its insides. Zero had allowed a kiss like this to Kaname before, but he had asked that time.

Now he moaned, sounding frightened and he was! It was silly, he knew, because Kaname wouldn't hurt him. He knew that, too. And the hunter was the one who was ravaging Kaname a moment ago, but all of a sudden, as Kaname's warm tongue laved over his own erotically, he was afraid and felt exposed.

"Ka... Kaname...!" he breathed, trying to pull away from the pureblood's hungry mouth.

Thankfully, he listened, not wanting to scare him and Kaname pulled away only enough to whisper, "I'm sorry, Zero... But... I know you want this."

"Wh-what?" Zero said, still panting a bit from Kaname's fervent kiss.

"You are only like this because of your brother... "

Kaname frowned, saddened by the truth he had seen the first time he touched Zero like this. He held Zero's face gently like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on... and maybe it was. It might have been the bond or maybe his desires had given up on the fragile and shy Yuuki, but he knew he wanted Zero over everyone else. He still held Yuuki dear, he couldn't just forget about her, no, but Zero was different. Yuuki's body and mind were soft and something to be overly cared for as to not mar it. But this vampire... Zero... He would not stain so easily and Kaname yearned for him even more because of that.

But at the mention of Ichiru, Zero's face paled. Before Zero could start to relapse, Kaname started caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. Unconsiously, Zero leaned into the touch, his body automatically seeking comfort in Kaname, but his eyes still looked pained.

"I won't speak of him anymore until you are over it, but you know it's true... Now hold still so I can help you get better."

Zero was heard swallow a lump in his throat and he nodded distractedly. But a thought occurred as Kaname leaned back in with a short, superficial kiss to his lips...

"You..." he started, quietly. Kaname stopped nosing Zero's neck to look up at him in question. "You are only doing this because I need it?"

"...What are you saying like that for? I'm trying to make you forget about Ichiru," Kaname stated, confused about why Zero seemed so offended.

"I... I thought... that you wanted to do this sort of thing with me," Zero said, slowly, seeming possessed. Kaname's eyes widened as anger started to flare up behind Zero's reddening silver orbs. He knew Zero was going to overthink this...

"No, Zero..." he sighed, trying to put out this particular fire before it burned down their relationship which Kaname would not be able to stand losing. And, in reality, neither would Zero. "I do want to do this with you, but--"

"Or were you trying to take advantage of me?" he questioned, a sneer forming on his lips, igniting Kaname's other fear of how Zero would interperate this. "Don't you think I've been through enough abuse by way of sex? Not everyone can be so careless as you, Kuran!" he shouted, letting go of Kaname and snapping out his last name. Kaname's auburn eyes widened and he drew back farther.

"Zero--" he tried again, before Zero would take off, but he was cut off by a crushing kiss to his lips. He moaned and his hands hovered by Zero's shoulders, wondering if they were supposed to embrace him or what. But Zero only pulled away again to snarl, "Well, let me pretend you aren't like him." and instead tongues, teeth and lips clashed in a staggering, devastaing assault on the senses. Kaname reeled slightly, moaning at Zero's avid, yet rough, kisses before he felt himself spinning. He almost went into survival mode, his insticnts spazzing out about how he was most definitely not in control anymore, but he felt the plush cushion of the bed under his back and the warm, aggrevated weight of a vampire hunter turned vampire on top of him.

--

Zero had tears brimmed on the bottom of his almost completely red-colored eyes, but Kaname didn't have the chance to feel the bond tell him to console; Zero was not crying for any reason but Kaname's deception anymore.

How could someone lie about loving someone? It was beyond Zero... Even if Kaname seemed to only care about his own interests, he did not seem like the type of man to play other people for his own amusment. Especially people he cared about...

But I guess I'm not really one of those people.

However, he'd be damned if he just ran off like some little girl, sobbing because his crush didn't return his exact, pure feelings of love. Because, yeah, he loved the pureblood, what of it? Didn't matter much when Kaname only wanted him for sex though, did it. So he would get what normal couples worked for and he would show just how much it hurts to be subjected to unwanted sexual advances. And, you know what? Zero knew that he was about to do exactly what Ichiru did to him, to Kaname. He didn't care.

"Zero, stop! What are you doing!?" Kaname shouted, trying to get through to Zero, but the other vampire would hear none of it. Kaname figured where this was going and did not panic, but only felt pity for how badly Zero was reacting to this whole thing. His common sense was going out the window and now he was making up other people's reasons for doing things. He would probably have to knock the boy out...

But when Zero whispered, "Veikr..." and Kaname convulsed once, he knew the situation had gone from vexing to problematic. Zero had used an anti-vampire charm to take away Kaname's powers, both physical and mental, so now Zero was the one who would be calling the shots.

"Zero, stop..." Kaname said quietly and unalarmingly to attempt to calm Zero down, even as he felt even more vulnerable by the loss of his vampire abilities. "You don't know what you are doing..."

"Shut up, Kuran," Zero spat, pinning the now weakened pureblood down to the mattress, painfully. "Don't talk down to me. Now that I figured out your plans for me, you are in no position to negociate."

"What?" Kaname said, baffled by Zero's babbling. What was he going on about? "My plans for you? God, Zero what is wrong with you?" he said, exasperated.

Zero gave a dry laugh and shook his silver head.

"Look, I'm not going to do anything painful... It'll feel good, so just pretend it worked out for you and I won't tell anyone. Not even Yuuki."

"Damn it, Zero, I'm serious," Kaname snarled, baring his fangs. "Let me up. This is becoming increasingly annoying."

"Oh, so I'm annoying now, is that it? Because I won't bend to your will?" Zero said, feigning astonishment. But he was kind of amused that Kaname would suddenly act like this, revealing his true feelings for Zero because his "victim" has found out what was really going on. "Well, I'm not letting you up, for your information. I..." he purred now, leaning down to kiss Kaname's scowling lips once before finishing, "...am going to make love to you and act like you love me. Okay? I know you don't really feel that way about me, Kuran, it's all right, I get it- I am nothing; no one to worry about," he said, sounding sympathetic. "I know it's really kind of pathetic, but I feel pretty screwed up right now."

"Zero, please, listen to me for a second--"

Why does he think that I don't love him?

"You know- broken blood bond and all," Zero cut him off again, sharply tearing Kaname's sweat pants down his legs, exposing his genitalia. Kaname was full and well enraged now by this insane behavior Zero was exhibiting and he began to kick at Zero, who was on all fours over him. He caught a heel in Zero's still bare stomach and Zero grunted, moving one of his hands to hold his middle. This movement, in turn, released one of Kaname's arms and he took the chance to reach up and deck Zero in the face. A revolting cracking sound resounded throughout the room and blood blossomed from the hunter's nose along with a snarling moan from his mouth. Immediately, Kaname regretted that, but it was already over and done and not even the tantilizing scent of Zero's blood could make him feel better about what he just did.

"Z-Zero... I didn't mean to..." he started quietly, trying to get to a retreating Zero who was sliding off of the bed. The ex-human groaned and cradled his broken nose while staggering over to the bathroom, blood dotting the carpet as he went. Kaname sighed in frustration and pulled up his pants; getting up himself. This was definitely not how it was supposed to go...

When he reached the bathroom, he saw Zero wincing as he dabbed at his bleeding nose with a moist washcloth. He looked quite forlorn and did not even look at Kaname when he leaned against the doorframe. They stood in a agonizing silence for a minute while Zero tended to his nose. But then he said, very softly, "I'm sorry... I'll be going now..."

"Wait!" Kaname said, a little too quickly and a trifle too loudly. "How... how's your nose?" He wasn't going to apologize for that- Zero had warrented it, but that did not mean he wasn't concerned.

"It will heal," Zero said, looking at the tile as he placed the soiled cloth over the edge of the sink. Kaname thought he could see an ashamed blush on Zero's cheeks as he continued hastily, "Sorry about the mess." And he turned to rush by Kaname. As he passed, he muttered the counter-charm and Kaname felt his powers flood back into him along with his normal sense of security, but that wasn't the issue now.

"Zero," he said, a tone in his voice that made Zero's skin crawl and falter in his escape. "Will you be all right?"

"I told you, it will heal, I'm a vampire, too, unfortunately-" he snapped, not turning around.

"That's not what I mean," the pureblood snipped right back, coming up behind Zero and grabbing his wrist, spinning him around to face him. Zero tugged at his arm, but Kaname held it fast- Zero's tears were falling this time instead of welling at the bottom eyelids. "Zero..." But the hunter covered his face with his other hand and cried, "I'm fine, let me go! I said I was sorry! I don't know what came over me, all right?! So let me go and quit hassling me..."

Zero knew how terrible he'd just acted with Kaname a moment ago. He honestly didn't know what possessed him to cause that behavior, but he still believed himself when it came to Kaname's feelings. He was only using him to replace Yuuki's spot, physically, probably. But still, this was unforgivable, so maybe it was better if he just dropped all personal ties with the older vampire. He felt like a fool and his heart was demolished. It was time to just put up those barriers around his heart again.

"But Zero... I wasn't lying when I told you that I loved you..." Kaname insisted. He was in his right mind when he said that earlier. He felt Zero's forearm tense up where he held him still, but Zero shook his head, his fingers digging into his face where he masked his tears.

"Please... just let me go," he said, barely above an anguished whisper.

...Kaname obeyed and let Zero go.

--

Author's Notes: I know that the second sentence in Kaname's part in the beginning had the word "and" over and over. I did that on purpose to show Kaname's hyperness without actually having him be hyper- Kaname being hyper I can't see.

God, I feel so unoriginal... Look... in Crimson Door by Blackened Wing, she/he had a broken blood bond scene that sorta had the romance like I did mine end and I don't wanna say I stole it... ('cause I didn't) but I used some parts of it in here... --

Of course, the part where Zero started freaking out wasn't intended, the boy just started getting crazy on his own. :sighs: So now I have to make them get back together. --;

And uh... "veikr"... I believe it means "pliant" in Old Norse and it is he origin of the word "weak". The V is pronounced as a W so...

Oh and if any of you have heard of a band named Wavorly, please tell me. :3 ((They are sooo awesome. And usually Christian rock isn't my cup of tea. is listening to Tenacious D right now. See?))