Miserable at Best
This is strictly a one shot in Alex's POV. Takes place after the Blaze of Glory.
Miserable at Best
I just wanted her to fight for me.
I just wanted her to fight for me, to show me that it had all meant something to her too. That I wasn't a fool in believing that what we had was real, that I had meant something to her; that our relationship had meant something. Anything.
Ryan. That stupid shaggy haired, short, no emotion showing boy. What did he have that I didn't? What made him so great? Why did she always go running back to him? I took another long swallow from the beer in my hands. I felt my jaw clench and unclench as his image swam through my mind. I should have thrown the beer cans at his head that night, hell I should have just kicked his ass.
I usually don't let on about my feelings; and when I let it slip to Seth that I was falling for her I knew I was screwed. Most of the time things are nothing more than flings, I can admit that. Sure I act like I don't care but that's because I have a reputation to uphold.
I don't fall in love, I don't fall period. But she came into my life like a sudden wind blown off course. She sucked me in and let me fall without being there to catch me. She broke me. I had my doubts about her, hoping against hope that I'd be proven wrong. Shaking my head I let a bitter laugh escape. She broke me plain and simple. I fell for a girl I knew I shouldn't have and now I was left to pick up the pieces. I was left to pack up my stuff, find a new town, and mend my own heart.
I miss the way she would grab my hand while we drove around town. I miss the way she would put her arm around me while we slept. Those little acts showed me she cared; they proved to me that there was something there. I miss the way we would wake up tangled in each other's limbs. I miss the way she would burn the toast. I miss hearing her singing along to the radio, even though it was off key. I miss smelling her shampoo on my pillow. I miss her eyes and how they always seemed to tell me what she was feeling.
This is why I don't fall in love. This is why I don't fall, or shouldn't fall. It does me no good. All it leaves me with is an ache in my heart and the picture of a girl I can't seem to shake.
Why didn't she just fight for me? It would have been so much simpler.