(Okay. So. Hiring the Creeper did not work, and now I have a really big explosion aftermath to deal with. Cleaning this up is gonna take weeks.)

I do not own Espio the Chameleon.

(And I still can't fix my disclaimer.)

It took a few hours for Mask and Ocarina to tell their stories to everyone – mostly because Mask kept censoring himself due to "Spoilers" and using long, complicated and downright confusing sentences to attempt to explain it all anyways, but without killing the time-stream. He also kept interrupting Ocarina whenever he felt his younger self had forgotten something. And by the time it all was said and done, the sky had grown dark, the moon had come out, and it was somewhat difficult to navigate the room of the castle because people were liable to walk into each other, trip, and fall to the floor, where someone else would trip over them and fall over someone else in the process, who would also go down and bring his three other siblings with him because they were all standing next to each other, which would then cause a small chain of effect due to an unfortunate close proximity with someone else and... well.

After that, everyone just decided to go to sleep. They were already all lying down anyways, not to mention that more than a few of the group had had an extraordinarily long day. Plus, the rest of the storytelling would take several more hours, especially given how many people still had to relay their adventures to the two newest Links, and it would be better if the intended recipients could stay awake to hear it all.

Actually, it had probably been a few days by this point. Time got weird when dimension-hopping was involved. No wonder everyone was exhausted.

The next morning arrived with obnoxiously cheerful sunshine and even more obnoxiously cheerful birdsong, which immediately made everyone except for Lore and Dusk disgruntled. Lore was exempt because he didn't see the point in wasting time on being disgruntled because there were so many other things he could be doing. Dusk was exempt because... well, he just was. Dusk so far seemed to have one basic mood, which was 'agreeable'. He just went with it, regardless of what 'it' actually was.

Strange that there was sunshine and birdsong, given that all the birds seemed to have left the country quite some time ago and that the sky was covered in sickly yellow clouds that looked as though they'd sooner drop rocks than let sunlight through. But then again, there were also holes in the literal reality of the universe, so... well, everything's relative.

Eventually, Ocarina eyed the void happily devouring the Royal Throne and ventured, "Should we do anything about that?"

"Conveniently," Steam replied, "that's why we're here."

"I gotta see this," Mask decided. "Fix away."

"Er... not here."

"Uh-huh," Mask said, sounding unconvinced. "And why not?"

"Because literally nothing works," Wind told him, and threw a small rock to demonstrate. It promptly vanished. "The only things that don't seem to vanish from all reality are, well, us. Oh, and anything we happen to be carrying."

"So..." Mask drew the word out for a good five seconds. "You're just hopping randomly and hoping to pop out at the source or something?"

"That's about it, yeah," Blue said.

"It's a bit more sophisticated than that," Vio edited. Blue frowned.

"But that's the general gist, isn't it?"

"Well I suppose, but-"

"So why is that a bad answer?"

Vio grimaced. "It leaves something to be desired..."

"And that means?"

"It means it could have been phrased better."

Blue grinned triumphantly. "But I'm not the one who phrased it."

"He's right, you know," Mask put in, having been following the back-and-forth and enjoying it immensely. "It's actually my phrasing."

Vio looked back and forth between the two of them and slowly paled a little bit. "Oh Din there's two of them."

"I think I like you," Blue said, holding his hand out for Mask to shake.

"Likewise."

Vio, in an effort to preserve his sanity and dignity, went to talk to Ocarina instead.

By the time the Four made it up the mountain, broke into Vaati's Palace, dissipated all the monster minions, and all but broke into the Throne Room where the wedding ceremony would presumably take place, they were very tired, very irritated, and very, very confused.

The tiredness came from the fact that they'd just hiked up a mountain and invaded a Palace – or at least, most of the tiredness. The rest came from the fact that the Four had been all over Hyrule already trying to 'prove themselves worthy' to climb the mountain, invade the Palace, and rescue the Princess in the first place. For some reason, the Great Fairies of the land functioned as not only proper authority on who got to rescue the Princess, but also when. Understandably, the Four were a bit disillusioned with the Great Fairies by this point.

This was also, coincidentally, where most of the irritation was coming from. It was primarily aimed at the Great Fairies, because the Four had volunteered for this thank you very much and were largely unimpressed with all the hoops they'd had to jump through to prove their 'worthiness'. There was, of course, a bit of irritation aimed at Vaati as well for being the one responsible for kidnapping the Princess in the first place.

The confusion, however, was all Vaati's fault. Because he really was supposed to be on the other side of the altar about to get married, and not nowhere to be seen with a large black hole substituting his place.

But at least Zelda was there... even if she was wearing high heels and a wedding dress and looked absolutely livid because of it.

"Link!" she exclaimed. "Come over here and lend me a dagger or something, would you?"

The Four paused in what had previously been their hurried rush to their Princess and quickly conferred with themselves. Then the blue member, who had been abruptly voted as the spokesman for this conversation, stepped forward with extreme difficulty and discomfort and handed Zelda an arrowhead instead.

"We," he said slowly, grimacing with effort, "don't have... a dagger, but... will... this work?"

"Absolutely," Zelda replied, accepting the projectile. Then she stabbed it into her dress and tore the entire skirt up to her thigh on both sides. "You would not believe," she informed the Four between ripping noises, "how annoying this thing is. It's like it was specifically made to be impossible to move in."

"Um," the blue member said, partly because his hive-mind instinct was screaming at him, but mostly because he had exactly nothing to offer on the topic of wearing wedding dresses. Zelda tactfully ignored this and began hacking off the heels of her shoes.

"Nayru help the idiot who thinks I'm hiking down a mountain in these things," she muttered.

Once she'd mutilated her outfit to her satisfaction, she handed the arrow back to the blue member and said, "Thank you, that's much better."

"You're... alright?"

Zelda smirked. "Please, he didn't even touch me. He was too busy with all my 'requests'."

The blue member made a confused face in lieu of an actual question; he could feel his grip on individuality slipping. Maintaining himself as separate from the hive-mind was hard.

"Oh you know," Zelda replied. "Color scheme, invitations, bridesmaids, flowers, catering, the guest list, his tuxedo, locale, the type of icing on the cake..." She smirked again. "I fought that jerk every inch of the way. You should have seen the fight we had over whether or not my bouquet should have been color-coordinated with the napkins."

"Oh," the blue member said, having a severe lack of anything else to offer on the subject.

"But enough about that, obviously I came through just fine," Zelda said. "Much more importantly right now, Link, what are you doing?"

The blue member gave her a confused look, which the other three members of the Four fought to keep from appearing on their faces as well. "Uh... rescuing you?"

"Not that," Zelda waved her hand in the air as if to brush aside something utterly inconsequential. "You pulled the Four Sword to rescue me, right? So why are you doing that... individual thing?" She looked him up and down skeptically. "You look like you're about to either fall over dead or explode from all that tension."

The blue member frowned and abruptly realized that he actually was incredibly tense. "You wouldn't... mind?"

Zelda sighed. "Of course not. I'm not dense, I'm perfectly aware of what the Four Sword does and how the effects might manifest. Let me guess, though, you met some less-than-understanding people before finding me?"

"Uh..."

"Oh, never mind," Zelda said. "Just be normal, will you?"

The blue member exchanged a glance with his other three counterparts before stepping back into the formation. They breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief.

"Thanks," they said.

"Don't mention it," Zelda replied, waving it off. "Now, the next problem. Vaati appears to have been abducted by a void which still hasn't disappeared and seems uninclined to do so anytime soon. It also seems to be destroying whatever it touches. Thoughts?"

"Could be a curse?"

Zelda considered it. "...Unlikely, given that Vaati would have been the caster and I doubt he would have meant to cast it on himself," she decided. "But honestly, this kind of magic – if it even is magic – really isn't my thing. I'm a Light magic specialist and not much else. We're gonna need some experts if we wanna figure out what this is."

The Four frowned thoughtfully. "So, like the Great Fairies?"

"That is an option," Zelda agreed. She tilted her head, thinking. "Actually, that's probably our best option. The Great Fairies attuned themselves to me a long time ago in the name of protection, even if what they actually do is send hapless heroes after me instead – no offense."

"Some taken, but continue."

Zelda did so. "My point is that I can find them much more easily than anybody else. So, here's what I'm thinking. I'm going to go hunt down the Great Fairies and see if I can't get their input on this. Meanwhile, I'd like you four to stay here and keep an eye on that thing." She turned a glare on the void and watched it suspiciously. "It may have done Hyrule a favor by getting rid of Vaati, but that doesn't mean I trust it."

"Uh... it's just a hole, remember?" the Four ventured.

"It never hurts to be cautious."

The Four had to admit that she had a point. "How long should we wait?"

Zelda considered that. "...Give it a week," she decided. "If I'm not back by then, storm the Sea of Trees because the Great Fairies will probably have 'kidnapped' me in an attempt to prevent any future kidnappings."

"Got it."

Zelda gave them a firm nod, then hiked up what was left of her skirt and marched down the mountain like she was off to murder the inventor of stiletto shoes. The Four watched her go.

'Do you guys ever think that she's not the most normal girl?' the green member asked.

The violet member gave a mental scoff. 'What was your first clue?'

'Mine was when she used the arrowhead to mutilate her shoes,' the blue member admitted.

'Wait, really? What about that time when we were kids and she found that snake in the gardens?' the red member asked. 'She named it Legless and made it the unofficially official mascot of the Castle, remember?'

There were several agreeing and reminiscing noises from the other three. Then-

'Why are we even talking about this?'

'I think she's just a refreshing personality. She's the first person we've met while like this who hasn't tried to perform an exorcism or thought we were psychically empowered quadruplets.'

'True.'

'That exorcist guy was weird, though.'

There was a moment of contemplative mental silence.

'...Let's not talk about him.'

Meanwhile, Lore had let his curiosity get the better of him.

"I wanna hold it," he said, staring at Curse Stone that Dusk was carefully holding out for examination. Dusk blinked.

"...Why?"

"Because it's shiny," Lore said, as though that explained everything.

"I don't think that's the best idea," Dusk said tactfully. "We don't know if it will have the same effect on you as it does on me."

Lore grinned. "And that's all the more reason to try!" So saying, he darted out his hand before Dusk could stop him. Sure enough, the moment he made contact with the Curse Stone he vanished into a cloud of Twilight. There was a startled yelp, followed by a small thump, and when the Twilight cleared away Dusk found himself at a loss for words.

"...This is not what I was expecting," he admitted after a moment spent staring.

"Oh my Goddesses," Sketch said, gaping. "Is... is he pink?"

"He's pink," Wind confirmed.

"Oh my Goddesses."

"Lore," Dusk said quietly, "why are you pink?"

Lore, who was now a small, pink, and incredibly irate rabbit, gave him a shrug. Apparently he didn't know either.

"He's pink," Sketch repeated. "He's pink and fluffy and adorable. This is amazing."

"I kinda wanna pet him," Steam muttered. "Is that weird?"

"Probably," Realm muttered back. "But I want to pet him too, so..."

Lore gave them both a Look which interpreted itself as 'Absolutely not', and the two suddenly remembered that rabbits had extremely good hearing and promptly stopped talking. Red, on the other hand, had no such qualms and proceeded to outright ask, "Can I pet you?"

Behind him, Green and Vio made apologetic gestures.

Lore squeezed his eyes shut in the true fashion of the long-suffering, which proved to be a mistake because Red took that as a 'yes' and began stroking the fur on top of Lore's head between his ears. "You're so soft," he giggled.

Lore's nose twitched, which was probably in irritation but just looked adorable instead. Dusk took that as his cue to rescue his fellow Hero and unsheathed the Sword from his back.

"It changes me back," he reminded Lore when the rabbit gave him a curious glance. "So it'll probably do the same for you."

He tapped Lore's head with the flat of the blade, and was promptly concerned when exactly nothing happened. He frowned; Lore's nose increased in its twitching frequency.

"Maybe it's specific only to you?" Vio suggested, having wandered over from somewhere and bringing Ocarina with him. "Since it's your Sword and all?"

Dusk frowned some more. "That's all well and good for me..."

"Didn't Lore say he had something for this, though?" Green asked. "That whole Dark World thing he told us about, remember? It was like a pearl or something."

"Moon Pearl," Sketch supplied, snapping his fingers. "He said he used a Moon Pearl to counteract his transformation."

"Do you still have one of those?' Dusk asked. Lore nodded rapidly and pointed a paw at his Bag, which was slumped on the ground and held shut with a button that a rabbit would have no hope of undoing.

"I'll get it," Wind volunteered. He sifted through the contents for a moment, then asked, "Does anyone know what it looks like?"

"Probably like a pearl?" Sketch said. Wind gave him a look.

"I never would have guessed," he said dryly. "But like, how big is it, what color, that sort of thing."

"How much stuff is in there that you need to ask?"

"A lot," Wind said, rustling around and producing muffled clank noises. "A lot."

Everyone looked at Lore in askance, who flipped an ear and made a general 'it's this big' gesture. Wind nodded and dove back in.

"I think I found it," he announced after a few more moments, and pulled out a red, fist-sized sphere which had swirls of violet rolling through it.

"That is not a pearl," Vio said. "And if it is, then I want to see the oyster."

Wind ignored him, instead looking at Lore and asking, "Is this it?"

Lore responded by hopping over and pressing a paw to the surface of the orb. There was a bright flash and an odd waver in the air around the light, and suddenly Lore was crouched next to Wind with one hand on the Pearl and the Curse Stone lying on the ground a few feet away.

"Well," Lore decided, standing and taking the Pearl with him. "That was unexpected."

"I would like to put it on record," Dusk said, "that I did warn you."

"That you did," Lore agreed. "However, I still stand by my reasoning."

Vio leaned over to Realm. "What was his reasoning?" he whispered.

"It was shiny," Realm murmured back.

"It was!" Lore agreed, completely ignoring the fact that he wasn't supposed to have heard that conversation.

Dusk just shook his head and sighed before scooping the Curse Stone back into his drawstring pouch with a practiced motion. Ocarina, who had been watching the whole spectacle with the look of someone out of his depth, raised his hand hesitantly.

"What, exactly, just happened?" he asked. "And... why were you pink?"

"Alright," Lore said authoritatively. "Sit down and take notes, 'cause we're gonna be here a while. It all started when I was about ten and was for some reason the only hope to save the kingdom..."

Vio discreetly went to round up Mask and Blue, because the story rounds were starting up yet again and it really did go smoother when everybody was around to listen in.

Demise was at his wit's end.

This was mostly because he was the patron deity of destroying things, which meant that he wasn't very good in the creative department and had thus already used all his ideas to get the voices in his head to shut up ages ago. The problem with this was that his fallback idea was death threats, and with the villains being who they were, well... none of them felt very threatened.

By this point, Demise was going on two weeks Reality Time with his Hatred Incarnations in his head. As a god, he was very used to things happening exactly the way he wanted them immediately when he wanted them to happen. Whenever that scenario didn't happen, he tended not to take it well. A good example of this would be during the Demon War, in which Demise had been thwarted by Hylia and sealed away in the form of a (quite frankly hideous) beast. He'd been quite unhappy with that. He'd also thrown the godly equivalent of a temper tantrum by taking every advantage of escape that he possibly could and expressing his irritation by targeting Hylia's nearest Temple whenever the opportunity arose.

A second, and equally good example, would be when the Chosen Hero had harnessed a lightning bolt, planted his ridiculously holy sword in Demise's ribcage, and proceeded to seal the deity away in said sword for the next several hundred years. Demise hadn't been very happy with that either, and had promptly taken it out on the nearest target (which happened to be the Hero, conveniently enough) by casting a curse to forever haunt the cursed one with incarnations of Demise's hatred.

It should be noted that, had Demise kept his head just a bit better and thought that whole thing through, he could have avoided his current situation entirely. However, foresight was not one of Demise's better qualities.

Neither was hindsight, for that matter, but that was another issue entirely and not at all related to what Demise was about to do.

Demise was going to strike a deal.

"All of you shut up right now and maybe I won't eradicate your existence from the fabric of reality!" he snarled.

...He wasn't the best negotiator.

You did that already, Majora pointed out disinterestedly. That is why we are stuck with you, correct?

"Incorrect," Demise snapped, "because if that were the case then I wouldn't have to deal with you imbeciles!"

Well, who's fault is that?

Demise let out a growl, which didn't actually do anything productive, but it made him feel better. "Give me one good reason why I ought to even consider giving you lot the time of day in the first place."

Have you even been paying attention? Hyrule Ganondorf asked derisively. We are villains. Everything we do is worth your pitiful 'time of day'.

"Really," Demise replied drily. "Tell me then, how many of you have managed a successful takeover and subsequent subjugation?"

He was immediately met with an indignant chorus and some bubbling, as every single voice in his head promptly declared the superiority of their own individual takeover to him. Demise bit back a sneer.

"Let me be more specific," he interrupted. "How many of you can say that you were not thwarted by a Hero within two months of your takeover?"

I can, Hyrule Ganondorf stated smugly

I threw a Peahat party that lasted for a week! Zant exclaimed.

There was a low, entirely-fed-up groan, then Twilight Ganondorf said, Zant says yes, but I'm taking the credit. It was my plan, and we all know Zant is too much of an idiot otherwise.

The Hero didn't even know I was there, Veran sniffed.

The Hero hasn't even found me yet, Original Ganon informed them all, sounding incredibly full of himself.

I've been ruling Hyrule for decades, Ocean Ganondorf proclaimed.

Demise smiled thinly. "And how many of you can say that the Hero never thwarted you at all?"

I literally just said that the Hero hasn't even found me, Original Ganon said, annoyed. Weren't you listening?

Yes, I'm sure you think that's quite impressive, Majora mused absently.

And I suppose you've done better?

Of course I have, Majora said pleasantly, which promptly gave everyone shivers because Majora never sounded pleasant unless someone else was in extreme pain. Before this oaf stole me away, the Hero was dying in fire and pain.

You're sure about that, Twilight Ganondorf said sarcastically.

Oh yes, quite sure. I brought the Moon down on his head, you see. If the burning atmosphere doesn't kill him, then the several million tons of rock certainly will.

But, Twilight Ganondorf pressed, you don't know for sure, because you were taken before you could see it happen, correct?

There was a brief moment of silence. Then Majora let out a quiet, contemplative hum, and Twilight Ganondorf abruptly shrieked as a sharp fwump informed Demise that he had been set on fire.

Any other delightfully informative tidbits that people might feel like sharing? Majora asked calmly, somehow managing to be heard over Twilight Ganondorf's screaming without any issue.

Nobody responded.

"I do believe he had a point," Demise said, smoothly taking the conversation back. "How can any of you be sure that the Hero hasn't taken back their home in your absence? Not one of you seem to have had a stopgap measure in place. I must say, I'm disappointed."

What else is new, Malladus snorted. You hated us from the moment we showed up. Though, I for one have been happy to return the favor.

Same, Picori Vaati agreed, and the other villains gave murmured assent. Well, except for Twilight Ganondorf, whose screams were now punctuated with occasional breaks where his voice gave out.

"I noticed," Demise said shortly. "However. I have had a thought on the subject. Alone, you all have faced the Hero and failed. Spectacularly. So spectacularly, in fact, that I sometimes have trouble believing that you people are supposed to be the embodiments of my hatred. The sheer scope of your failure boggles my mind to the point where I am not quite sure to believe your incompetence or not. It takes skill – expertise – to approach a goal with the abilities you people have and still manage to be thwarted anyways-"

WE GET IT, Demon Vaati roared.

"I really don't think you do," Demise retorted. "Otherwise, I wouldn't have so very much material to give examples with."

What is your point? Onox ground out impatiently.

"Clearly, you are all incompetent to an astonishing degree," Demise replied bluntly.

Right, that's it. Bellum, go get your bagpipe, we obviously haven't made our opinions clear enough to-

"BELLUM YOU WILL REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE OR SO HELP ME I WILL SET MAJORA ON YOU!" Demise bellowed. "And the rest of you, shut up and listen. Has it occurred to any of you what a golden opportunity this is?"

...Explain, Ocean Ganondorf said slowly.

Demise gestured to himself, which was a somewhat futile effort since all the villains were in his head and couldn't actually see him move. "Every one of you has tried to defeat the Hero, and every one of you has failed – or is going to fail," he added, just to cut off anyone who might have been getting ideas. "But right now, you're all in one body. My body. And I just so happen to be a god. If we were to, say, work together to destroy the mutual thorn in our sides, combined your abilities and experience in using them with my superior physical ability and pure godly power-"

Could you brag just a little more, I don't think Zant quite got the full impact, Veran scoffed.

"My point is," Demise snapped, "that we could accomplish much more together than we would apart. And really, we're already in close quarters with each other, so why not make the best of it?"

There was a still, thoughtful silence.

...You're not just saying this to avoid the next round of bagpipe music, are you? Lorule Ganon asked suspiciously.

"I would never," Demise gasped. He was utterly insincere about it, but then again he was evil, so nobody cared much. "I am merely pointing out that we have a truly golden opportunity."

There was more silence.

I think he might actually have a point, Onox rumbled.

So do cacti, Veran snapped. Why shouldn't he release us all at once to rip the Hero to shreds instead?

"Because I am the one calling the shots, and I am not going to be releasing anyone," Demise growled. "Either work with me to eliminate the Hero and actually accomplish something for once in your pitiful lives, or don't and remain as you are. Your choice."

Yet more silence.

At this point in my life, Ocean Ganondorf said stiffly, I believe that I value the eradication of the Hero more than I do my own personal welfare. I will... accept your offer.

You can't be serious, Veran stated.

I agree with Ocean Ganondorf, Past Ganon put in. I've been taken out by that spindly little elfling more than once, and by now I'll take any form of victory I can get.

Are you all thinking this!? Veran demanded. There was a muted rustle of agreement. Bellum bubbled loudly.

Not now, Bellum, Malladus hissed.

Veran let out a disbelieving scoff. You're all idiots.

I do not care, Majora's diffident tone broke in. Do what you will, all of you. But if you do decide to chase the elfling Hero- the mask's tone sharpened into something disturbing -then I will be burning him to ashes and I will not be hesitating for anyone who gets in my way.

There was a weak shuffle, then Twilight Ganondorf let out a broken whimper. From the sound of things, Majora had just used him as a demonstrative reminder of what happened when people got in range.

Well, Hyrule Ganondorf said after a moment, that aside, the general consensus seems to be a yes. What do you have in mind?

Demise, for the first time in a long time, cracked a smile. "First, we're going to have a little lesson in stealth."

"...and that's how we got here," Wind said, finishing up the latest storytelling session in what was turning into a very long line. "And then we met you guys, and you know the rest."

"...Wow," Mask said, taking a moment to solidify everything in his head. "I never knew there were so many ways that life could kick you in the face."

"Umm..."

"For a while I really thought that time travel had to be the be-all to end-all," Mask continued. "There's a whole lotta retconning that goes into messing with time, you know? It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my position as the universe's favorite target."

"That does not make me feel reassured," Ocarina muttered.

"Don't worry, you get used to it."

"And that makes me feel even less so."

Mask just shook his head in a tolerant sort of fashion. "Seriously though. We've got one Link who's a werewolf, another who's made of paint, four of us used to be one person, one with a weather-controlling stick, another who can literally see spirits and fancy crap, plus one who's got enough magic stuff to probably manipulate reality if he really tried, and the one guy who would probably be completely normal if it weren't for the fact that he can get lost within five steps of where he started. Amidst all that, do you really think that random time travel and age manipulation sounds all that out-of-place?"

"...He's got a point," Wind offered.

"I'm not actually a werewolf, you know," Dusk pointed out quietly.

"Pretty darn close though," Mask replied. "But, that aside, I feel like there's something we should be doing?"

"I could probably go for a nap," Lore said.

"We just woke up."

"Yeah, but telling stories is tiring," Lore explained. "You gotta get into the emotion of the moment, or else nobody appreciates the point."

"I was wondering why you included dramatic reenactments this time around," Steam muttered. Lore grinned.

"It's all part of the bansecelmer maphyte," he said knowingly.

Everyone stared at him.

"...Run that by me again?" Sketch said.

"What?"

"The... bahnseselmer mafight," Sketch said, badly mangling the pronunciation and wincing.

Lore tilted his head. "Oh, did I...? Sorry, I usually keep better track of which language I'm in than that. But, uh, there's actually no exact translation, Hyrulean doesn't have a word for it. Basically it's the feeling you get when you connect emotionally with a character in a story and suddenly feel like you understand exactly what they're going through. Like when you both like the color mauve and suddenly their entire worldview makes perfect sense."

"...Right," Sketch frowned, sincerely doubting that mauve was actually that important of a color.

"Technically speaking, if you wanted an exact translation it'd be something along the lines of 'empathy resemblance,'" Lore continued. "Er... kinda."

"That's actually really interesting," Vio said.

"Wow you're a nerd," Blue muttered.

"Because liking other language and culture isn't cool enough for you, I suppose?"

"More like it makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense if you actually put the time and effort into it," Vio snapped.

"Hey, I totally put effort into-"

"What in Nayru's Name am I going to have to do to get you two to shut up once in a while!?" Green exploded. "Every time, guys! Every single time! Do we look like we can just sit around and wait while you two argue for an hour!?" He gestured sharply at the hole in emphasis of this.

Both Blue and Vio wilted under the Disappointed Leader assault. "Sorry," they muttered together. Green let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Just please, please pick better times for your arguments," he requested. "I know better than to try and stop you outright, but this is getting ridiculous..."

"I should probably go ahead of you through the hole then," Vio told Blue in a somewhat subdued fashion. "Because of the whole landing-on-your-leg thing..."

"Probably a good idea, yeah," Blue agreed, equally subdued.

Lore looked back and forth between the three of them. "...I want lessons," he decided.

"On what?" Red wanted to know.

"Green's Leader-Voice."

Green blinked, because he didn't particularly think his leadership skills were anything special and was becoming rather confused as to why Lore would want lessons on such a thing. He quickly came to an executive decision – stall for time – and promptly did so by saying, "Not right now, but maybe after we stop the world from disintegrating?"

"That is a good point," Realm put in.

Lore promptly slung an arm around an unsuspecting Dusk's neck and declared, "An excellent idea. On we go!" and dragged the taller Hero behind him through the hole, with Dusk giving everyone a long-suffering eye-roll right before he vanished.

"I feel like he should concern me more," Ocarina mused. "But for some reason he doesn't, and now I'm concerned about why I'm not more concerned."

"That would be your 'Crap to Give' meter filling up," Mask informed him. "Give it a couple more years and eventually you won't really care at all."

"...That doesn't make me feel better."

Mask just winked at him.

When the void spat out two entirely unexpected and completely random teenagers dressed in green, the Four decided that this day officially capped their list of Weird Crap That Happens To Us and blew the rest of the competition clear out of the water to boot. This decision was immediately followed by the Four taking absolutely no chances whatsoever and chucking as many bombs as physically possible at the two newcomers, just in case they were about to launch an assault or something. Because really, with the way things had been going lately, it wouldn't surprise them in the slightest if the hole turned out to be a portal used by alternate-world invaders.

Unfortunately, this didn't quite go as they'd planned.

"Ejsy y'jr jr'vl!?" one of the teenagers yelled, abandoning his friend and stalking over to shove a blackened and smoking finger in the Four's faces. "S'kk O-n y'tuomh yp f'p od ds'br y'jr imob'rt'dr! Ejy f'p orpok'r l'rro y'tuomh y'p nk'pe n'r io!?"

The Four stared blankly. "...What?"

"Lore," the other teenager said quietly, putting out the fire on his hat as he did. "Hyrulean, please."

"Ejsy?" the first newcomer responded, his tone indicating confusion. Then he seemed to realize what it was that he'd actually just said and grinned sheepishly. "Oh. My bad."

"What language even was that?" The Four asked cautiously, having never heard it before in their lives.

"Holodese. But never mind that, I've just been insulted according to the Proper Laws of Bomb Usage as Ordained by the Subrosian Circle of Incendiary Materials. Cover your ears."

"Wait, why-"

"I HAVE BEEN INSULTED!" Lore bellowed at the top of his lungs, and proceeded to go off on a wildly confusing tangent, made all the more impressive by the fact that the Four hadn't known that they could be any more confused. The other teen grimaced apologetically.

"Sorry about... him," he said. "He'll stop in a few minutes, I'm pretty sure. He's Lore, by the way, in case you guys didn't catch it earlier. I'm Dusk. You?"

The Four suddenly remembered that people didn't usually take their unified speech/movement/thing very well and cursed the fact that it was too late to think of a cover story. "We're the Four," they muttered.

Dusk didn't even blink. "Nice to meet you. Do you have individual names as well or should I just address you guys by your collective?"

The Four stared for moment before rallying. "Our collective is fine."

Dusk nodded. "So, I'm guessing you all are a Four Sword set?"

The Four started. "How do you know about that?"

"I know some people in a very similar situation," Dusk replied, and pointed at the void, which was now expelling several more people. They all gave Lore confused and resigned looks before making their way around the still-ranting teen to join Dusk instead.

"Whoa," a short boy wearing all blue said, examining the Four closely. "You guys look just like me. Like, more than the usual 'we're-all-Link-here' type of thing."

"You mean they look like us," Vio corrected.

"Same thing, really."

Vio tilted his head in acknowledgement. "I'm more interested in the fact that they seem to have their own Four Swords."

"Cool," Red breathed.

"Huh," Green said. "Maybe we're related?"

Vio frowned in thought. "I... don't think so? I suppose anything's possible, if highly unlikely. To me it looks more like these are the guys from the Four Sword legend we grew up with."

"So cool," Red repeated. "We get to meet legends!"

"What?" Lore said, pausing mid-rant and looking over to where everyone else was. "Someone say my title?"

"Nah, Red's just excited," Blue replied, waving a hand.

"So is Blue, he just doesn't want to admit it," Red teased.

"...Shut up."

The Four, who for the past few minutes had been staring open-mouthed at Blue, Green, Vio, and Red in what looked like significant surprise, quickly took advantage of the lull in the conversation and said, "How are you guys doing that?"

"Holy-!" Blue yelped, while Vio's eyes widened in surprise and Green and Red both jumped a little because of how loud Blue's voice was. "Forget that, how are you guys doing that!?"

The Four shrank a little. "It just kinda happened..."

"When?" Vio questioned, his eyes locked on the Four's faces.

"When we drew the Four Sword."

Vio exchanged a look with his other three siblings, then glanced back at his own version of the Four Sword over his shoulder. "That's... huh. That is honestly unexpected."

"Seriously though," the Four said. "How are you doing that?"

"Doing what?" Red asked curiously.

"Being... individual."

Green blinked. "Er... isn't that just normal? I'm personally a lot more interested in how you guys are being so coordinated."

"We drew the Four Sword. So did you. So why aren't you like us?"

"Why aren't you like us?"

"This is going nowhere," Vio sighed. "Look, maybe the Four Sword lost some power over the years? They came way before we did, so I'm willing to bet that the magic was more powerful at the time of the forging. Or at least, that's my best guess."

"So... what, you guys have a hive mind or something?" Blue asked, frowning.

"Uhh..."

"Close enough?" Green guessed.

The Four tilted their heads, considering it. "...Yeah, let's go with that. Seems pretty accurate."

"Actually, if you think about it, we do that too," Vio said to his siblings. "Just not quite to that level. It usually happens when we're all thinking about the same thing, and then we swap speaking privileges with each other when we try to say it out loud."

"Like that time you told your story!" Steam exclaimed, startling all eight of the Four Sword carriers since they'd entirely forgotten other people were there. "We had to make you guys give visual cues for when you were going to switch speakers so we could actually follow what was going on!"

"Sorry about that," Red apologized sheepishly, and a bit belatedly since by this point that conversation had happened over a week ago.

Things just rolled from there, with very little issue. The Four introduced themselves to the group, and the group returned the favor. Lore made his usual impression and left the Four with the usual opinion of his sanity, and Dusk stepped in as he usually did to make sure that Lore didn't traumatize anyone too badly. All in all, it was a perfectly normal example of the group absorbing a new Link into the fold.

Well, as normal as something like that could even be.

"So," Dusk began once everyone was acquainted. "It's a bit of a tradition at this point that we all sit down and share our adventures with the new Links so that everybody knows everybody else-"

Lore promptly dropped to the ground, pulled his hat over his eyes, and said, "Wake me when it's my turn," before immediately starting to snore. Dusk raised a marvelously incredulous eyebrow.

"First of all," he said, reaching over and confiscating Lore's hat so that the sun shone directly into his fellow Hero's face, "you interrupted me, which is rude and I'll be expecting an apology later. Second of all, the Four are going first, and you are going to be awake until they're done. Clear?"

Lore eyed Dusk, then the hand which held his hat. "...Nebe-Ai veah taydereb..." he muttered with a mournful expression on his face. Dusk's incredulous eyebrow went even higher.

"I only speak Hyrulean," he reminded Lore.

"Right, sorry. We're clear."

Dusk nodded, and handed that hat back. "We're good to go," he informed the Four, who had been watching the interaction with fascination.

"Oh. Okay." The Four took a deep breath. "So, it all really started when Princess Zelda discovered that the seal on Vaati had been weakening over time. But he ended up breaking free before anybody could do anything about it, and he kidnapped Zelda because..."

The Four paused.

"Because...?" Wind prompted.

"Er... well, because she was pretty."

There was a moment of confused silence.

"...Wait," Sketch said. "Your villain's entire reason for doing what he did was because he had a crush on a good-looking girl?"

"Apparently," the Four said, looking simultaneously bewildered and embarrassed. "Vaati, uh... he didn't have much of a plan, as far as we can tell. We really just think he wanted to get married."

"...I can't decide whether that's hysterically funny or not," Mask muttered, looking very conflicted. Ocarina, meanwhile, just had a blank look on his face. He was trying to find what his older self found funny about a Princess being kidnapped and was failing utterly, which was actually more concerning to him than the kidnapping because it did not bode well for the continuity of his personal time stream.

Everyone else just frowned.

"Anyways, we drew the Four Sword so that we could combat Vaati and get Zelda back, but before we could get started the Great Fairies showed up. They said we couldn't go after Zelda right away because we had to prove ourselves 'courageous enough'."

Realm tilted his head, frowning. "But... wouldn't volunteering be enough proof of that?"

The Four shrugged, looking uncertain. "Ah... maybe? But the Great Fairies really didn't see it that way and we got sent on a lot of fetch-quests instead."

Mask immediately laid a commiserating hand on the green member of the Four's shoulder. "I am so sorry," he said. "If you need any counseling for that, I know a guy."

The Four blinked at him. "Uhh... thanks...?"

"He's not joking," Ocarina inserted. "The emotional aftermath from fetch-quests can be... severe."

"We'll... keep that in mind," the Four responded slowly. "Um, but anyway, after that we went to the Sea of Trees to get started on the first task..."

If there was one perk to godhood, it was that one god could piggyback off of another god's power, whether it was mutually beneficial or not. In this case, it was most decidedly not. Demise had no doubt that if the Three Goddesses knew he was hijacking their reality window to gather intel on the Hero, they would be miffed at the very least and absolutely murderous at the very most.

Hence, why he was hijacking their reality window instead of bursting in, temporarily slaughtering them all (that was the annoying thing about fellow deities, they were so difficult to permanently kill), and taking the thing for himself. The last thing he needed right now was to have three very ticked off goddesses on his tail in addition to the voices in his head and his impending plans to wipe the elfling Hero from existence, because the scope of his abilities unfortunately did not include omnipotence and Demise wasn't nearly foolish enough to believe that he could juggle it all and not forget at least something.

Well that's interesting, Malladus commented, evidently looking through Demise's eyes to see the scene in the reality window.

"I appear to have caused far more chaos in the universe than I was initially aware of," Demise muttered in unintentional agreement. He narrowed his eyes at the window, which was currently showing a substantially-sized group of green-clothed Heroes and a few more colorful ones mixed on. The ginger one was talking dramatically and appeared to be making coordinated shadow puppets, much to the other Heroes' confused resignation.

I've changed my mind, Veran said suddenly and viciously. I'm in.

Onox snorted. Fickle.

There was a moment of silence. Then Veran said, sickly sweet, Onox, I will throw you into magma and melt your armor into your skin with excruciating detail if you keep opening your mouth. Understood?

I will help, Majora offered in a silky purr.

"All of you shut up, I'm trying to hear myself think," Demise snapped. "Veran, elaborate on your first statement."

If I'd known that we would be personally eradicating our specific Heroes, I would have been a bit more understanding in the first place.

"Yes, you all have fought them personally, haven't you," Demise mused. "Excellent. We're going to have a little planning session, everyone."

EDITED ON (11/27/17)

I'm probably overstating fetch-quest irritation by... a lot, but seriously, when I have to trade a rock for a scarf for a bug for a feather for a seedling for a dog for a mirror for an axe for a bucket, I get a little bit annoyed. Besides, they're infamous for a reason, right?

In other news, I recently found some tips on writing a multilingual character and all the mistakes they tend to make regarding which language they're speaking. Hence, Lore's continued mix-ups.

Oh, and Happy Zelda Month, everybody.

Changeling

Labrynnian Translations:

-bansecelmer maphyte (exactly what Lore said, although strictly speaking the more compact translation would be 'you feel what they feel')

-Nebe-Ai veah taydereb (I've been betrayed)

Holodese Translations:

-Ejsy y'jr jr'vl!? S'kk O-n y'tuomh yp f'p od ds'br y'jr imob'rt'dr! Ejy f'p orpok'r l'rro y'tuomh y'p nk'pe n'r io!? (What the heck!? All I'm trying to do is save the universe! Why do people keep trying to blow me up!?)

-Ejsy? (What?)

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Guest: Yes, he is appearing. He just hasn't done so yet. Oh, but his name won't be Minish.

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