Depression. Misery. Agony. Dread. All of the emotions Emma should be feeling, but wasn't. Instead she just felt numb. Paralyzed by the haunting reminder of her actions. For days she's sat by Killian's frail body waiting for the moment he'd wake. If he ever would. She's lost track of how many times she's dampened the cloth with cool water and moistened his body to keep his fever down. The many times she's changed the dressings on his wound and checked for sign of infection (so far so good). The countless times she's checked his wrist and neck for signs of a pulse, his nose for breathing. All of it. She's neglected her own being to watch over him and will continue to do so, never leaving his side for longer than it takes to relieve herself or roll on some more deodorant.

As she took his hand in hers and raised the bruised knuckles left from the aftermath of the healed bites to her lips, she finally began to feel something. Loathing, but not towards him towards herself. She fed into Cruella's speech instead of listening to the man who clearly would die for her by taking a bullet to save her life. How does she repay him? By ignoring his desperate pleas and listening to a psychopath whose words still echo in her mind.

"It's simple really. I see myself in you. Pained. Tormented. Deranged. Controlled. Silenced. You're screaming to get out, darling. To be free. One twitch of your finger and you'll be who you've always wanted to become. Someone to be feared instead of being afraid. You're tired of feeling vulnerable. You want to be heard. This is how. Let her out to play."

"I'm so sorry." She whispered against the back of his hand. "Gods, I was such a fucking idiot. I should have stayed in the car. I should have trusted you… your judgement. I was so fucking stupid and now because of it you're lying here fighting for your life." Her hand turned his as her cheek fell into his palm and tears dampened the skin. She's probably cried more in the past few days than she ever did when he left to come here. "Killian, please come back to me." She pleaded through her tears. "I don't want be without you. Please…. I love you." Her voice was lost through her blubbering as she shifted her body to lay in the nook of his arm so she could attempt to get some well needed rest.

"Oh my gods! He's bleeding!" Ruby screamed as she jumped out of the way of Killian's incoming limp body. Adam and Emma had crafted a makeshift gurney from one of the thinner tables in the house in which Adam busted the legs off. "Is that a- holy shit…. He's been shot!"

"Ya think?!" Emma snapped as she lowered the table to the driveway.

"Red! You're driving- follow Emma!" He commanded as he heaved Killian into the backseat with Emma's help. "There's a medical kit in the trunk-"

"On it." She muttered before running to retrieve the bag and back to Aikens again. "Here."

"We need to get him back. Now. Go!"

Rest never came easy. Whenever she closed her eyes her thoughts and dreams were rudely invaded by the crude memories of that night. Mostly she just stared at the dripping contraption Adam had mustered up to allow fluids into his body so he wouldn't suffer dehydration among his other issues.

Ruby was trying her best at consoling Emma, but nothing was working. Adam had pushed her out of her bathroom to do what he needed to in patching up the bullet wound and whatever else that needed doing. She was pacing nervously, muttering incoherent thoughts and looking crazed as she picked at her dry, cracked lips. She hasn't told anyone what had happened and she wasn't sure she wanted to. How could she admit to something like that?

The door opened to a weak, sweaty and paled Adam Aikens who nearly fell into the damn room. "What blood type are you?" He asked Ruby.

"Uh, A negative? Why?"

"Shit, ehm…" He rubbed his hand over his face and pointed weakly. "I need water. Orange juice, banana, nuts- anything, please. Emma?" He asked as he watched Ruby run from the room and the blonde worry a line into the wood flooring. "Emma!" He yelled.

Stopping at the sudden call of her name, she looked up just as crazed as she felt and blinked back to the present. "What?"

"Blood type?"

"Oh uh... O positive."

"Get in here. Take off your jacket." He ordered before hurrying as well as he could to ready his equipment.

Her fingers traced patterns down his arm until she stopped at his wrist to take it between her fingers. Yup, there was still a pulse. It's weak, but still there. Lips swept across his limp arm as she silently willed him to hold her.

"Will he be okay?" She asked as she paled significantly at his weakened state and the amount of blood covering the floor.

"Look at me, not him." He instructed as he blocked her view of Killian on the floor. "What exactly happened, then?" He asked as he readied her arm for the taking of blood for the transfusion.

"I uh… it's so cloudy, I don't… I guess I was trying to talk Cruella down? She was pointing her gun at me. I heard Killian, but I didn't. I was too engrossed in what she was saying, I guess. The next thing I know I was shoved to the floor and pushed in one direction while he went the other. I never even knew he was hit. He never-" She stated through spilling tears. "Killian he- he tried to stop me. He- he didn't want me to. If I would have listened. If I would have just- looked at him I could have- he could have-" Her voice was breaking as the reality of what happened hit her.

"Hey. Hey hey hey." Adam dropped the needle on top of the sterile packaging to take her face in his hands. He held tightly for her to focus on him and not the man on the floor. "Focus on me- You stop it, yeah? We both bloody well know that this could have happened by his own damn arrogance. This was not your fault. I need you to know that, believe it. He's found himself in worse scrapes than this. Stop worrying and trust me. What I need you to do now is be the strong woman I know you are. You have to relax and calm yourself, yeah? He's in desperate need of blood and you're the only other person capable of doing so. I've already given him all I can. If you want to save him now's your chance."

"But I-"

"Emma Swan, you're just about as bloody stubborn as that arsehole lying on the floor there. Give me your arm." He commanded as he released her face and readied the needle. "Have you ever given blood before?"

"No."

"You'll feel a bit woozy... weak. It's perfectly normal. But if you need to stop you must let me know. I don't need you goin' and faintin' on me, yeah?"

"Understood."

"Good. Once his vitals are stable enough for transport I'll be shipping you two off to Ireland. There's a small safe house on the shore of Dublin that will be perfect for his recovery."

"How long will that take?"

"Recovery? The truth?" He asked sheepishly. "Well eh… We should wait and see if he makes it through the remainder of the evening before I go off answerin' that."

Her eyes finally began to grow heavy as she gently plucked at the hairs of his arm. The tears had dried, but the emotion stayed. She hated herself. That would never change. She will forever hold the guilt of knowing she caused this. Not to mention she fucking murdered someone. How the hell is she supposed to live with herself?

Killian's hand held limp in hers throughout the night. She never slept. She couldn't. If on the off chance he should rouse in the wee hours of the morning, she'll be there. That's the least she could do. And to think that the last moment they shared in this bed was probably one of the most amazing nights they've had aside from her birthday. Grant it every night with this man was incredible. She hoped it wouldn't be their last.

"So I uh… I know how to hack security systems… and cut camera cords… and pick locks… because of this girl named Lily. Lily Page. She was my best friend for a few years before she skipped town. She's actually the one who set up Neal and I. We used to steal from different stores and residences when we were in middle school and for awhile in high school. It was completely stupid and we got caught a few times, but- it was fun. Exhilarating. It got the adrenaline pumping and the heart racing and- well... I guess you already understand that. In a way doing what you do has the same effects." She trailed off while playing with his fingers and running soft touches around the bite marks. "Killian… I did it. I don't know why. I don't- I should have listened, but I thought that she was bluffing. I really thought the hold was empty and…." Emma worried her lip between her teeth while dropping his hand to her lap and sniffling back tears. "I'm so sorry. I truly am extremely sorry. I caused all of this. I wish I could take it all back. Gods…" She swung her legs underneath of her to allow herself to be able to move to cradle into his good side and bury her face into his neck. "I'm really needing one of your smartass comments right now. Killian, I need you... Please don't leave." She pleaded softly. "Stay with me. Please stay with me. I love you. So much. Please!"

Calm. Serene. Relaxed. Untroubled. Killian felt right at home on the familiar ship and breathed in deeply the salty air. The sun was shining yet it was still bitterly cold. The wind was strong and chilling to the bone. The sails were hoisted and the Jewel was drifting at her own free will while the waves rocked her from side to side. Days at sea were the greatest pastime and even more so now because-

"Killian! Quit your daydreaming and point her due south!" Liam hollered up from lower deck. "I swear if it weren't for me you'd have run this poor girl into the ground by now."

"You act as if I can't think for meself." He muttered as he heaved the wheel round and directed the ship on its proper course. "Where are we headed anyhow?" He asked as descended from the helm. The sea was like a second home, but these waters were unfamiliar. Never a good situation when only two men were aboard.

"Relax little brother. Do you forget you're in good hands?" Liam smiled proudly as he strolled along the deck checking over all the cordage and ropes though unnecessary. He had just gone over them ten minutes prior. And ten minutes prior to that. "I see you've found your lifeline."

Killian had decided to follow his brother around deck seeing that they were now on proper coarse. It beat standing at the helm for hours on end. "Pardon?" He asked confused. "I haven't a clue what you mean."

"Of course you don't. You're as bloody naive as the first time I had to explain the way around a woman." He teased causing the younger brother's ears to grow red from embarrassment.

He wasn't even sure why he was embarrassed. No one was around to hear them. It was eerily quiet aside from the sound of splashing waves against the worn wood. "I'll admit that learning for meself was much more enjoyable than your daft explanations. But I've a feeling this conversation isn't about the act of fornication, aye?"

"Aye. Not as naive as one would have thought." Liam stopped at the stern of the ship as he brought his hands around his back to look out to the horizon. Killian followed suit. "Where's mother's ring?" He asked abruptly.

"Perfectly safe." He replied in confusion. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you remember what I told you?"

"Aye. I do. But why is this relevant, brother?" Killian looked to him now in complete uncertainty. "I don't understand."

"That ring has been passed down through generations. It's not an item to be taken very lightly. It's only to be worn by who you perceive to be the one person you can't live without. Is she it? Are you sure?" He asked tapping his fingers against his wrist in waiting.

"Are you questioning my sense of judgement, brother? Never forget that you were the one to send me to her." He added slightly peeved. "I'm fully aware of the tales surrounding that ring. Being sent away from Emma was more excruciating than any hurt that I've ever endured. I don't expect you to be able to understand, but what I would like you to consider, brother, is that perhaps I've finally realized what it is that gives me complete happiness. Nay. Euphoric bliss. I've found it with her. She forces me to want to better me life. I've never had that and to find it with Emma is a gift…. That's why I put the ring upon her finger. That's why she's soon worthy of being a Jones. She tests the limits and surpasses them. Liam, I love her... in the purest form of the word. Again I don't expect you to understand, but perhaps consider that your younger brother has come to terms with what he wants in life. I want to be the man that I've always wanted to be. I want to be the man worthy of a woman like Emma. I want to be the man you're proud of, brother."

Liam bounced on the balls of his feet as he listened to the heartfelt speech of his kin. He could hear the passion in his voice and has only ever heard it during talks of the sea or discussions of the arts. He turned on his heel and began his inspections again. "Do you remember when we stumbled upon the whale migration all those years ago? It came to be tradition for you and I. Have you followed through?" He asked with a hint of merriment coating his tone.

"And why would I do that?" He asked perplexed. "I'm not sure if you're aware, but I've been awfully busy with other engagements. I don't have the time to go watch whales."

"It was just around this time of year, was it not?" Liam began humming to himself as he straightened his posture into more of a Captain like carrying.

"I believe so? Yes. Forgive me, but what's the meaning of all of these nonsensical questions?"

"Do you remember where it is?"

"Aye?"

"Good."

Emma jumped awake at the sound of her phone ringing, but never moved. Exhaustion was beginning to set in and she was finding it hard to pull enough strength to rise from the bed. Running on a collective of 7 hours of sleep for the past week probably wasn't the best idea, but she couldn't quiet her mind long enough to sleep more than an hour at a time. She decided it best to leave it across the room of the old cabin. It was probably Adam calling to make sure she's eaten, or showered, or informing her that the ferry was nearly to shore. He stayed back to deal with the matters of Gold and explain Killian's absence along with situating the clean up of the mansion, erasing all traces of Emma and Killian being there. Ruby also stayed behind to pack up their belongings and clean the flat to it's original state before joining them at the cabin. There was only a week left and she already made the decision to stay in Ireland until he was responsive. No matter how long it took.

It took her a good twenty minutes to be able to pull herself up from bed and drag her feet across the floor to the dresser where her phone lay. To her dismay, it wasn't Adam nor Ruby that called. It was her mother.

Well crap.

Against everything in her being telling her to stay, she decided to venture out into the cabin (something she hasn't done since arriving) and return the call. Slowly strolling through what seemed to be the sitting room, she peered at a few dusty pictures as the phone rang.

"Emma! You're alive! We haven't heard from you since you've landed."

"Oh, yeah. I know I'm- ugh. I'm sorry. Between the jet lag and the sight seeing and-"

"Killian?" She asked slyly.

A soft laugh sounded as she plopped down into one of the oversized chairs while taking one of the frames in hand. "Yeah. It's been busy. Not much time for talking. How's dad?"

"Ummm… well…"

"Uh oh. What happened?" She asked as she ran her thumb over the dusty glass of the picture frame.

"Do you know what color Killian's car is by chance?" She asked apprehensively.

Emma's eyes widened, "Why?" She asked pressingly. "What did he do?"

"It's very superficial." She began. "Barely noticeable. Just you know.. uh.. scratched?"

"How did he manage that?"

"... with a key?"

"Mom! Seriously? What the hell?!" Emma whined as she slouched into the side of the chair while listened to her mother's apologies and ramblings on of the happenings in the weeks passed. Her attention drifted back to the picture in her hand. The dust had been removed enough to focus on the people in the frame. Two boys, the one not much older than eleven maybe? The other a few years younger. The older boy had his arm around the other's neck and smiled proudly while the other seemed more reserved. There was something familiar about those reticent eyes. Was this a picture of-

"Emma?"

"Oh, uh… I yeah."

"I said Happy Thanksgiving." There was a bit of curiosity in her tone, but she left it alone.

"It's Thanksgiving already?" She asked in shock. "Happy… Thanksgiving, mom? I have to go. I need to shower and get to bed. It's like nearly one in the morning here, so."

"Oh! Yes, of course! I forgot about the time change. I'm so sorry."

It took a few more minutes to release herself from the phone call, but she finally managed. Replacing the frame down and rising to her feet, she figured it couldn't hurt to roam the rest of the cabin. The usual rooms filled with dust made up the establishment. Kitchen, dining room, sitting room, bedrooms, bathrooms. Nothing too fancy about the place. But one thing caught her eye upon entering the sitting room again. The piano in the far corner.

Gentle hands flipped open the latch and even gentler fingers traced the ivory keys. She hasn't touched a piano since her father forced a few years of lessons on her, that is until she showed interest in shooting rather than playing.

Emma situated herself on the bench and carefully tested out a few of the keys. Surprisingly the thing was still in decent tune. Running hers fingertips along the length of the keys; she found her position and began to play her scale. The melody carried through the house and was a welcomed sound through the thick air of uncertainty. Soon a hauntingly beautiful tune echoed through the place. The tune aptly named Piano Sleep was one of her favorites to play to soothe her thoughts. At least until she found her love of the sea.

"I still haven't a clue where we're going. Why the secrecy, brother?" Killian asked as he followed Liam into the Captain's quarters. The one room on the ship he's always avoided since Liam's passing. It was still as neatly organized as he remembered all those years ago. Maps were loosely rolled and neatly stacked. Books organized by thickness and height along with relevancy. The bed always so neatly made up. It made him miss him that much more.

"All in due time. Come. Sit. Have a drink with me." Liam waved to the chair across the room and invited his brother to join him at the desk. "It isn't everyday I have time to catch up with my little brother."

"Younger." He quipped as he sat in the chair he had carried over. "Again, pardon my asking, but… why is it you have the time? You've never stayed this long before. Isn't it past time for your hurried departure?" He asked while waving off the drink.

Liam looked damn well shocked at his refusal, but downed it himself. "I've a feeling you're not aware of your current state?" He asked pointedly.

Raising a brow at his cryptic statement, Killian leaned forward to place his folded hands on the desk. "What state would that be?"

"Do you not realize how you've come to be here?" He asked curiously.

"And where's 'here', may I ask?"

Liam tilted the empty glass in his hand to gaze at the small pool of leftover amber liquid before placing it down onto the desk and moving forward himself. "Killian, this isn't one of your dreams. This isn't a vision of mine." He began in explanation. "This is the place I tried to keep you from."

Killian began to tense at his words and his knuckles were growing white as he attempting to keep his anger at bay. "What in the bloody hell are you saying?"

"I'm saying your pigheadedness has finally caught up to you, brother."

A scoff and an involuntary chuckle sounded as he knocked his folded hands to the wooden desk. "So, I'm… I'm dead is what you're telling me, aye?"

"Somewhere in between. You're neither or."

"How can one be neither dead nor alive?" He questioned in aggravation. "Where am I and what am I doing here?"

"You've really no recollection of the recent events in your life?" Liam was astonished to say the least. The growing rage on his brother's face prompted him to continue. "Killian, you sacrificed yourself. You took a bullet without a second thought. Unfortunately, that action costed you gravely."

"Why now? Why this particular moment? I've had many shootings and stabbings occur and none of which have ever brought me here."

"I haven't a clue. Perhaps you've tempted fate one too many times, yeah?" Sitting back in his chair, Liam relaxed fully as his brother did the opposite.

Killian was up and pacing angrily from the door to the bed on the other side of the small cabin. He rambled on about how unjust it was. How he had so much he wanted to prove to himself, to Liam, to Emma. He wanted a life outside of the United Kingdom and never look back. He wanted a future with the woman he's grown so overly attached to. He wanted to be a doting husband, a loving father, and become the partner worth sharing a life with. He wanted all of these things, but he's stuck here in fucking limbo.

The notes faded into the darkness and soon it was dead quiet again. The silence took a deafening turn and her mind began to wander again. That's the moment her fingers began to dance over the keys once more. This time the first movement of Beethoven's eerily sounding Moonlight Sonata filled the room with its underlying emotions. This was another piece she was very fond of and one of her mother's favorites. She only ever learned the Adagio Sostenuto because her talents soon went to more tomboyish things. A few stray tears landed on the ivory keys below as she swayed with where the music was taking her.

"What in the devil is that?" Killian asked as he pointed out to the horizon. A bright light, brighter than the sun's rays, shone through the sky. An incredible sight to be be seen. "Where have you taken us?"

Liam wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders and held firm as he presented the area they were to enter. "Home."

"Home?" He asked perplexed. "What do you mean home?" Killian pulled from his embrace and quickly stepped up to the stern of the ship to get a better look. "There's nothing there. Are you mad?"

"Look beyond, Killian. This is where you are to move on from." He explained as he placed his hands firmly behind his back and stood proudly. "You can leave… with me."

"Move on? You said I wasn't dead!" He argued. "Why in the bloody hell would I move on if I'm not fully here?"

His eyes drifted to the boards of the ship as he tapped his fingers against his wrist. "You've been given what most people, for lack of a better word, would die to be able to have." Glancing in his direction and giving a small smile he nodded simply. "A choice. You can either choose to go back to the life you have there or stay with me, find mum and be a family again. Once I pass through there-" He motioned to the light as he fixed his gaze on the blues of his eyes, "there's no coming back."

"Are you to move on?" He asked this time immediately falling into sadness. "Completely? From this place?"

"I'm no use to you anymore. I've done my bidding. I've successfully steered you to the right path. It's now up to you to determine how to stay on it, if that's what you so well choose."

"I'll always need you, Liam. You're my brother." He pleaded. "You're all I have."

"Well let's not go and get all sentimental now." He teased before growing somber. "Besides, like I've stated before- you've seemed to have found your lifeline. Now it's time to tether yourself down before the storm hits. But again, it's your decision to make."

Surprisingly it was a simple one. In the years beforehand he would have given anything to be with Liam. Hell, that's why he was so pigheaded about his duties. If he died on the field, well, death would have been better than what he found himself doing. In the instant that he chose, images of Emma flashed through his mind as if he were flipping through a book. Taking a step back as he looked around confused, he furrowed his brows at the eerie yet distinct melody playing in the distance. "Wh-what is that?" Killian asked as he walked the ship in search of the sound. "Brother, do you hear that?"

"I'm afraid I don't." He muttered apologetically. "Killian?" He grunted a sound of recognition as he continued his search for the source of the haunting melody. "I just want to say that I know I've been hard on you even after death, but I'm proud of the man you've become. Your choices are up for debate, but regardless. I'm proud… and you have my blessing. I wish you two all the happiness."

His search slowed to a stop at what sounded like a final farewell. Turning to where Liam now stood at the helm, he quickly ascended the stairs and moved to stand just inches from him as his speech died out. "Thank you, Liam." He held out his hand and took hold of his kin's forearm before pulling him into a long, firm and final embrace. "For everything."

"You'll do well in life, Killian. Just as long as you keep her by your side." A long moment was shared between the brothers Jones before Liam was the first to pull away. "I'll always be here." He stated pointing a finger into his chest.

"Now look who's being sentimental." Killian teased as he attempted to hold back his tears.

"That's rubbish, little brother! I was only meaning to check your pocket." He stated with a smile before taking the wheel in hand.

Again, his brows furrowed as he looked down to dig into his breast pocket of the leather jacket. His fingers grasped onto a thin piece of something and pulled it out. Upon realization his smile grew, but the tears finally spilled. It was the picture he took from his desk back in Storybrooke. The one he managed to lose during the happenings of New York. He was pissed at himself for losing the last thing that linked him to his life he had when Liam was alive, but now it was back. Him and Liam at the helm of this very ship just a few days before that horrid tragedy. Killian chuckled at the memory and tapped it against his fingers as he looked up, "Do you remember-"

The helm was empty.

Liam was gone. For good.

His emotions that he's held in for nearly eleven miserable years came pouring out in the moment. His brother was finally gone. Leaning into the wheel as his sobs overtook him, he gave himself what he's always kept himself deprived of. The quiet moment to grieve his death… properly, and without the use of liquor to numb his pain. A true and real raw moment. He always thought it would make him weak, crying like some immature child. But instead he found it was something he needed, something to release the guilt he felt. He no longer blamed himself. He no longer felt alone. He felt at peace for the first time in his life. A huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

The haunting melody began playing again as he wiped the tears from his cheeks and those that had collected in his beard. It was so melancholy. Killian rose to his feet, picture held tightly between his fingers as he slowly descended the few stairs to the lower deck. It grew louder this time and more distinct. The tune seemed to be coming from the Captain's quarters which was odd because there was no possible source for music in there. Or any part of the ship for that matter.

Killian pushed open the door and entered not the quarters he and his brother had left a few minutes ago, but a room that felt all too familiar. The way the room was set up was much like his childhood bedroom. A single dresser on the far stretch of wall, a few pads of paper and some pencils along with a few of his favorite fairy tales adorning the bookshelf. A small nightstand with a single lamp. It was a simple and rather bare room. But lying on the bed that sat front and center underneath the window that faced the sea was a paled man who looked to be on the brink of death. Brown disheveled hair more messy than ever. A beard so overgrown it would take twice as long to trim it back to where it would pass as acceptable. A bullet wound on the side of the abdomen that would take weeks to recover from and by the looks of the bandages they were in need of changing. And yet, here he was standing over himself ready to go back. Eager even.

But before he does there's just a few things he needed to do first.

Emma had played the first movement nearly four times by now and her fingers were beginning to ache. As she eased through the last time to it's beautiful end, her fingers ran along the keys before lowering the cover back down. Sighing and wiping her tears from her face she stood to her feet. She was so drained and felt like as if she'd topple over if she stood. But somehow she managed into the bedroom again.

She sat down at the edge of the bed after Purelling her hands and gently began prying off the dressings of his wound to take a look. Nothing seemed off or smelled foul, which was a bit of a relief. "Looks good." She mused as she stood to fetch more gauze and tape. Returning back from the dresser with a sterile gauze pad and a few strips of tape she knelt down to finagle it on. "There." She grinned while standing and taking his hand in hers to check for a pulse. Her brows furrowed at an unfamiliar and oddly placed object in his fingers. She turned his hand over in hers and let the item fall into her palm. Frozen from confusion and a little bit of fear from uncertainty Emma raised the item up between her thumb and forefinger to soak in the metal. "How in the hell-?"

A thimble?

A damn thimble. There was no possible way a thimble would just appear out of thin air. And he hasn't moved an inch not that he would be able to if he happened to wake, anyway. "Killian?" She whispered in hope, but saw no movement. "Hey-" She shook his hand, but again there was nothing. Disappointment flooded her body as her hand clenched around the object. Her chest heaved as she fought back the tears while slumping onto the bed and wrapping her fingers tightly around his. "This is all my fault. You wouldn't be here in this stupid place if it weren't for me. I'm so fucking- ugh! Just come back to me!" She demanded through tears. "Damn it, Killian! Just come back! Why is this taking so long?! Come back to me!"

"No need... for shouting." He murmured groggily into a weak smile.

Emma's head whipped to the right and immediately exhaled a sigh of immense relief as she stared down at him with disbelief. "Killian?"

"Hey, beautiful."