Greetings all, sorry it's been a tiny while since I've updated, but, it's midterm season! I'm finishing up projects, studying and what not.

So, i wanted to address an issue that someone brought up, I'm not mad or anything, but, someone pointed out the grammatical flaws in my writing and was wondering if English is my first language. To clarify, yes, English is my first language. But, sometimes, when I typed, I go so fast and I don't read back and things slip. Sometimes, I make up words that I'm 95% sure are words, but they aren't. And, I know, it's a little distracting, I'm sorry about that. I have a lot of trouble sitting down and focusing on one thing, my ADHD makes it kinda difficult for me to catch misspelled words or mistakes in my writing. I'm really sorry, please stay with me. I am trying.

Anyways, please enjoy chapter fourteen!

Chapter Fourteen – Trying

When we arrived at his apartment, I was trying really hard not to concentrate on what we were about to do.

Edward looked over at me and smiled. I knew he was excited, but, for me I was still nervous. It'd been a while since I'd done anything like this. He grabbed my hand and squeezed gently as we walked to his apartment.

His apartment was still the same, bare. The only thing that had really changed was the fact that some of my stuff now dwelled in his apartment. We were cohabitating, as Alice put it.

He hung my coat up on the hook. I kicked my shoes by the door and walked into the living room. I took a deep breath and sat on his couch in my usual spot.

He moved beside me, placing his arm around me and turning the television on.

I bit my lip; why wasn't he doing anything?

"You want to finish watching Shameless? Or the Walking Dead?" He asked as flipped through Netflix.

"Um, w-why aren't you doing anything?" I asked.

"Huh?" He said.

I shifted uncomfortably, "Like, why aren't you doing anything?" I tried to clarify without actually saying it.

He nodded, "Um, well, I didn't want to just, you know, go at it right away. I want let you set the pace."

"I-I'm ready. And I'd prefer to start. If I sit here and keep thinking about it. I'm going to back out and panic myself." I said.

He smiled, "Okay, that sounds good to me."

We sat in an awkward silence for a moment.

"How do you want to start?" I asked.

"Hmm, well, why don't you—," he moved me to straddle his lap, "How does that feel? Are you okay?"

I nodded, "It feels fine." I spread my hands wide on her chest. He smiled.

"I'm glad you're comfortable with me." He chuckled.

I matched his smile before leaning down and capturing his lips in a soft kiss. His hands gently laid against my hips.
As we kissed, I felt a sudden hard poke between thighs. I couldn't stop myself from jumping in surprise.

"You okay?" He asked, his eyes wide.

I nodded, "I'm sorry, it just scared me a little. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yeah."

He smiled and gently pulled me back against him. We started kissing again. Our tongues gently moving against one another. His hands started moving up and down my back. The tingling sensation causing my nipples to harden.

"Is it okay if I take your shirt off? Or is that to far?" He whispered against my neck.

I grabbed the end of my shirt and pulled it over my head. I looked down and blushed.

"S-sorry, I didn't think to wear a sexy bra." I said.

He smiled, "You always look beautiful."

His hands moved from around my back to my stomach. He kept his hand on my stomach, looking up at me as he silently asked for permission. I smiled, giving him permission.

His hands moved to my breasts, gently squeezing and playing. I bit my lip; it'd been a long time since anyone has ever made me feel this way before. He kissed and nip my neck in places that made my breathing hitch.

"Does that feel good?" He whispered in my ear.

"Uh huh," I shuddered.

"Would you be okay moving this to my bed?" He asked.

"Why?"

He looked down, I followed his gaze to his straining erection that was pressing against his tight jeans. I blushed.

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

He chuckled and stood, holding my body against his. He walked us into his bedroom, flopping against the bed. Me still on top of him.

I couldn't help but giggle at his silliness.

He rolled us onto our sides and pulled me against him. Our lips locked once again, our hands roaming over each other's body. I felt a rush of heat between my legs, I rubbed my thighs together without thinking.

His hand moved around my back as he unclasped my bra. My breasts spilled out for him. He rolled on top of my and smiled.

"Beautiful," he whispered.

I blushed, "You too."

He chucked and leaned down, suck on my neck. I bit my lip to contain my moan. I could feel his erection pressing against my center, the friction of us moving against one another caused the heat between my thighs to increase. I could feel my panties becoming soaked.

I helped him pull his shirt off over his head. My hand pressed against his bare chest as I explored his body. His skin under palm felt like heaven. He shuddered, his erection twitching under his pants.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

His words caught me slightly off guard, "Umm, I'm fine."

He smiled, "Just making sure."

He kissed down my neck to my breasts, he latched onto the right one. His teeth played with my nipple, gently nipping and pulled until I was gasping underneath him. He moved to the other nipple, his thumb and forefinger pinching and tugging the other.

I moved my hand to my mouth to cover my moans as his tongue slowly circled around my nipple. He gave it a gentle kiss before dragging his tongue to my belly button.

His hands moved over my pants, he looked up for permission. I nodded, allowing him to unbutton my pants. He tossed my pants to the other side of the room once he pulled them off my legs.

He smiled down at my white underwear with pink hearts on it.

He chuckled, "Very cute."

I bit my lip, "Well, I didn't really plan—,"

"I love them," he said before kissing the spot above my underwear.

His nose moved against my clothed center as his head moved between my thighs. I couldn't help but wiggle as he kissed, licked, and nipped my thighs. It felt so amazing.

His tongue flickered out to lick my wet panties. His tongue so close to my center. I moaned, my hips constantly moving to get closer to his mouth. No one had been down there in so long, that, I couldn't control my orgasm from finding its way to the surface. I also hadn't orgasmed in a while.

An entire blush covered my body when I came down from my high. My hands covered my face.

"I-I'm so sorry!" I gasped, feeling tears in the corner of my eyes.

"What? Why are you sorry?" He chuckled, pulling my hands away from my face.

"I—ugh, I'm sorry, I kinda had a little bit of a flashback." I sniffled, wiping a few stray tears.

He pulled me into his arms, "It's okay. When you're ready, tell me about it."

I nodded, breathing deeply.

"I haven't had an orgasm in a very long time. And, when I did, I got a weird flashback about being… there. I remember And, I just, I got a bad memory." I sighed.

He nodded, "Can you tell me? Just show I know if maybe I trigged something?"

I shuddered, "There was this one time… well, I guess it wasn't one time because it happened on multiple occasions. I couldn't really control my orgasms so well, and, they would tell me to control them, but I couldn't because they did everything to make me… it just was impossible for me to control it."

He stroked my hair, "Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore. You did so amazingly well. I think we took a giant step today."

I smiled at him, "Yeah, I think so too. I'm sorry I freaked out."

He stroked my cheek, "Awe, don't worry about it. I happen to think it was amazing."

I nodded, "I think so too," I could feel his erection against my bottom, "Do you want me to help you out?"

He chuckled, "If you're feeling up to it. But, I don't want you to think that you have too."

"No, I'm good. Can I try?"

"Of course."

I placed my hands on his chest, signaling him to lay back against the pillows. I moved between his legs and unbuttoned his jeans. He lifted his hips to help my guide off his pants and underwear.

His cock sprang up, dribbling with precum. It was thick from its root to its head. Long too, very intimidating. I swallowed as I looked at it.

"Um, wow, your thing is very… well, it's definitely there." I chuckled.

He smiled, a little blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Thanks," he chuckled breathlessly.

My hand slowly reached forward to touch it. I stroked the head to its root with my finger. It twitched at my touch. I could see the muscles in his thighs flex.

After stroking it a few times with my finger, I worked up the nerve wrap my hand around it. He gasped, placing his hand over his mouth and closing his eyes.

I stroked it a few times with my hand, squeezing when I reached the tip. He seemed to like that. I wanted to put it in my mouth, but, I was a little afraid. For some reason I couldn't work up the nerve.

Just as soon as I convinced myself in my head to just lick it a little, it twitched a couple times and he spilled his seed. I jerked back in surprise, looking down at my messy hands chest.

"I'm sorry," He panted, his face flushed.

"It's okay," I smiled.

"Why don't you go take a shower? I'm kind of craving some ice cream. I'll go get us some," He said, "Chocolate chip cookie dough?"

I smiled, "Absolutely."

I got off his bed and grabbed a towel before walking into his bathroom. I could hear him pulling his pants on and grab his keys.

As I washed my body, I smiled. The relaxed feeling of my orgasm still lingering. I lifted my head to the water, my smile widening as I thought about Edward and I.

A step in the right direction! Bella is getting better. And Edward's still a sweetheart!