A Creature of No Importance
Authors note: Firstly, I make a huge apology for taking so long. My excuse? Well, I bought new tablet, and have been trying my hand out at digital art. But, hopefully, I'll be a bit more consistant with the writing now too. Hope you like it!
Part 2: Monster
Knowledge and the Escape
7.
I am an experiment.
I did not discover this at any single moment. Rather, the understanding of my situation and what I am worth was gradually pieced together over many years. Not that this knowledge is very useful. I know nothing else, and so can make no comparisons to what any other life must be like. But, I do know that there is another way to live. I just am…afraid of how different it could be.
I don't like change. It frightens me, and then…
Lots of things frighten me though. It doesn't take much. Just an angry glare or a disgusted glance. I have to be very careful, though, so that I don't over react and release my dust. I am getting better.
I get lonely a lot too. That achy, hollow feeling inside my chest. At first I didn't quiet understand the feeling. You must understand, my experience is so limited, most of what I know comes second hand, from Lady. My three eyed teacher who both fears and pities me at the same time.
Almost everything I know is through her. Small things I gather and put into place by listening to the guards outside my door talk. I am very quiet, so they don't know that I'm there.
'-White's in a bother.'
'All fussed 'cause he can't make an immunity to our little monster in there.'
They laugh nervously and I hold back a sniffle. They detest me for my spores, yes, they hate me. I am freakish and ugly and unnatural, but still they feel some kind of claim for me. Because they guard me, freak among freaks. Does it make them feel bigger and better then others?
I don't know. I don't understand enough about their world, about the world in general.
So, alone I stay in this cell. In the dark, whispering to myself to keep company. Sometimes I hate it, and the silence and the loneliness. I hate it so much a bitter taste comes to my mouth and I burn away another gown. But then, I am always relieved to come back to it. The silence and the dark can be comforting, in the only way I can imagine, after a session with the White man and his cronies.
The walls of this place have been melted and crudely repaired so many times. Stone melts into weird formations, and I often run my hand over the smooth bubbles to remind myself of the sensation of touch.
Not human touch, of course not. I can't touch other people. They melt right away.
8.
The game begins by wrapping a loop of string around the fingers or wrists and taking one side of the string and circling the hands again.
Then, taking the string which runs on the inside onto the first finger of their right hand, reach through the triangle created so that the loop on the inside of the right hand is taken onto the first finger of the left hand.
The aim of the game is to make the cat's cradle.
This is created by two sets of crossed string between both hands. A second player grasps each cross-
But there are never any second players, only me-horizontally using the thumb and first fingers, pulls these outwards, down under the line which runs below the crosses from the first players wrists, and back up. The first player lets go of the figure and the second player stretches it open by bringing apart the thumbs and fingers. This figure is the "diamonds". A series of other alterations-
I must have been altered, a long time ago, before I was even real; they altered me into a different pattern from themselves
-produce more figures, some of which lead back to the diamonds while some are dead ends and cannot be transformed. Some say that "diamonds" is the cat's cradle from the game title, while others insist it's only the game title, and not any figures.
This game is very simple and is always started with the above opening. After that one mostly pinches the X's and wraps them around the outside strings. The others moves tend to need a little more practice-
Oh yes, I have plenty of practice, making the patterns on my own. I'm quiet good at it now-cats cradle, a game made for only one.
9.
They are always wary, careful not to startle me. There have been times when I cannot help but be intimidated, though, even when I know that they cannot hurt me.
Look, here they are again. It is THAT particular day today. I know because I keep track. Lady taught me that days can be sorted into weeks, which make up years. Lady has taught me many things, over these past five years.
The guards don't speak to me, as always. They gesture for me to come, and I am already standing. They stand well back as I walk through the door; careful not to let themselves become too close to me. It always makes me sad, even though I know they have good reason. I always bite my tongue so that I don't cry, when they shudder away from me.
'Monster,' they mutter under their breaths 'freak.'
I suppose I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. I don't think I ever will be.
An escort of guards awaits me, as always. Their faces are always hidden. Silently we walk along these empty corridors, down the same route as before. It is always the same, and though I may wonder, I'll never know what lies behind the other locked doors we pass.
Could there be others, like me?
But, no, it does not do to wonder, to imagine. They are bad things. Negative, and I am not a bad girl.
Our footsteps echo, turn left here, then right, then right again, and there's the door. It opens especially for me. The guards don't follow me here. They part to let me through. I walk in.
I don't like days like these; they always leave me feeling so…empty. I don't know why.
This room is white, and very plain. Not matter how I leave it, when I return the next week cycle, it is as plain and as white as always. Strange, in a way, because I know that rooms don't usually do that, apart from this one. I try not to think of the strangeness of it. Maybe it's natural for this room.
'Sample Three, secured in the test room.'
'Sample Three, move to stand point Number One.'
I do as the voices say; walking over to the red 'X' marked on the ground.
'Sample Three now on Stand Point One. Waiting for permission to begin test, Doctor?'
There is a pause, Doctor White, the white man, always pauses. I think he likes to keep the other voices waiting. Or maybe he knows it makes me nervous, because it does. I shift my weight uneasily, waiting for the permission to be given.
One.
Two.
Three-
'It is granted,' it finally comes, haughty. I tense 'proceed immediately.'
A heavy, clunking noise begins, almost grinding as a segment of the wall opens up into darkness. I hate it. So black that I never know what will come out until it has already leapt toward me. Whatever it is, they always come out angry, so angry. Malformed and malevolent.
They hate me; they try to kill me.
I am shaking now, shivering, and already my skin is tingling. That heated sensation is coming slowly. As the wall opens, the darkness gives way to something else, as it flies through the air at me.
Automatic, I squeeze my eyes shut and wrap my arms around myself. Fear has already burst through my skin in a flare of dust. I hear it howl something horrible, and I crouch down into a ball as it screams its breath away. I can't stop trembling and I know that I am crying.
Why is it always like this? Am I only made for destruction?
I am alone, shaking on the ground. Once again I am a good girl, and being a good girl means that I have to hurt them all.
I…I…hate it…
'Nnnggghhhrrr…'At that sound my spine straightens and my eyes snap open.
He-it-the creature sh-should be gone. But it's there, and so so angry. At me. It's skin hasn't melted off, it's different somehow. I can see the things blood veins pulsing through pale skin. It's still there, and I c-can feel it's resentment growing stronger.
Its eyes are…terrible; I can't look away, even though I want to. I want to hide, curl up into a ball and get out anywhere but here. I hate it here! But I am too afraid to run away. Surely it will be worse out there.
But here? With this creature?
Fear.
H-how did it survive? That's n-never happened before. How could it? Why?
It's head jerks up, and I fall onto my backside with the shock. Slowly, it raises its bulky form and seems to…to sway over to me. I scramble, trying to get away from this thing that fr-ightens me so, but I can't. I come up against wall and floor, and even as they melt away at my fingertips, I know that it will get me before I get out.
All that hate, that anger.
'L-leave me alone!'No, it doesn't listen, why should it? And it LUNGES again and I scream and cover my ears. GO AWAY! I scream high pitched again as its claws scour at the wall next to me. Surely my sporing ended it this time?
'Sedate immunized construct and the girl, I don't want either of them damaged.' The voice says sharply. The thing snaps its head up at the sound and I scramble away. The hiss of escaping gas fills my ears.
All of a sudden I feel so tired, so heavy.
I close my eyes to a dreamless sleep.
10.
Groggily, I blink away sleep from my heavy eyes as I feel myself coming out of that unnatural sleep. The feeling is not unfamiliar to me; I have been sedated before.
My head feels like mud, so slow and heavy. I tug my hair halfheartedly, trying to wake up. All it does is make me yawn, big and wide as I stretch out my arms and my mouth.
Finally, I sit up and gaze at the place around me.
Not my cell. I realize that at once.
It is very clean and white, with that strange smell (Lady told me it was aniseed) but that is no large surprise as rooms are always like that down here. Vaguely I make out the sharp, gray shelves and large, blue diagrams. Other pale gray shapes fill up this long room, are they desks, tables? Large white sheets of…fabric?…are hanging from metal frames around the room.
I shudder.
The strangest fact is that I am in this room, one of the laboratories, and I am free.
Why?
Slowly, I lean over the edge of the table I woke up on. If I squint my eyes, I can make out the floor below me. It doesn't look too far away. So, warily, I stretch down my feet, trying to feel the cold tiles with my toes.
I slip, and scrape my back as I fall painfully on my rump. The pain is sharp and brings tears to my eyes, and I can feel my gown smolder as I emit a little dust.
No! I tell myself sharply, I mustn't cry, not in a place like this!
That would be very bad.
I bite my lip to distract myself as slowly I rise to my feet. My head goes all funny, a really light feeling, and I sway a moment as the sensation passes.
'Test Sample Three of the Dragonscale Project.' At the sound of his voice I jump, yelping in surprise at the white figure that has appeared before me. He continues on in his bored voice 'Gender: female, Age: ten…'
With a start, I realize that he is describing me! He must have heard my yelp of surprise, as he stops listing off my detail to stare at me. Is there a smile on his face? Not a nice one, I don't think, but I could be wrong. I can't see very well, after all.
One shiny, white hand beckons, and slowly I tip toe over to the desk he is leaning on.
'Come here little girl, I want to show you something.' The skin on my back crawls as I realize who he is. Doctor White! The head boss! I haven't seen him close up in ages. I clutch my hands to my chest. Doctor White makes me very nervous.
'Do you see that?' He asks, gesturing to the table besides us. Glass vials holding red liquid are held in some sort of weird contraption. There a wires and tubes coming out of the vials, twisting around the machine at different places. Just looking at it scares me, and I am so unused to being spoken to directly that my tongue has turned to lead in my mouth.
I nod slowly, trying not to squint, but the Doctor only chuckles.
'My dear, you've been a problem since the very beginning.' I feel so crestfallen at his words, I've tried so hard to be good! I did everything they told me too, I was perfect, I don't want to be 'trouble.' A hard lump rises in my throat, but all Doctor White does is chuckle again. He gazes fondly at the vials on the table, letting a finger rest on one.
'A child that can emit dragonscale dust from her very pores in times of emotional excess,' he says in a voice barely above a murmur 'such a troublesome thing to try and control, even with chromosomal imprinting in place…'
I get the feeling that he isn't really talking to me.
'We could never truly threaten the subject because nothing that we do would ever harm her. Psychological control is not enough…'
He fiddles with the machine thing, turning knobs and twisting buttons. Occasionally he'll break out into an unconscious smile, and jot down some notes on some paper. He even puts his face up to a weird black tube at the top.
It's very awkward; I have no idea what I should do. Perhaps I should sir down or something, or even run away now that he's not looking at me. One fuzzy glance around the room and that idea quails. Where would I run too?
So I stare at him. I actually think that he's forgotten about me, until he snaps his head around to stare back at me. I can't help it, I blush and whimper.
I can see the grin slowly spread itself across his face.
'Now, yes…now I have found it…broken through it, mastered it!' Doctor White sounds gleeful, in a dangerous way. I make to step away, but to my surprise and horror, he leans forward and seizes my arm in a tight grip.
The breath is knocked right out of me by the pure shock of contact. I sag in his grip as my skin flares up with the tell tail sign-
'No!'
If he holds onto me, he'll burn, and that would be the worst thing ever! I'd be in so much trouble, they would lock me away forever and leave me there! I scream and kick and squirm to get out of his grip but it HURTS so much. Like he wants to pull my arm right off!
'You mustn't! L-let go!' I sob, but he only grins wider and pulls me close.
'I've cracked the code to your power, little monster. You can't touch me now.'
All I can see is his grinning face, and I sob again in incomprehension as he viciously shakes me hard. My skin is burning now, burning.
'Stupid girl, you still don't get it?' He spits out, angry and I don't know why. One more hard shake and he lets me sink to the melting floor. Blinking away tears, I gaze wretchedly up at him, as he stands, untarnished above me.
Untarnished…
He is not burned.
He laughs.
'I searched everywhere for something that could contain your powder, and I found it!' Doctor White gloats. He isn't even looking at me anymore; he has closed his eyes and crossed his arms. I am glad, he was scarier when he was laughing manicly.
'Of course, it took me a long time to get it right, years in fact. Taking blood from the pregnant mother and combining it in the right amounts to the isolated gene of the specimen created a solution that is perfectly immune to the effects of the Dust. Why, it can be combined with other substances too…' Stopping for breath, he turns back to the table and quickly writes down something else.
I realize I have been holding my breath through his tirade. Slowly I let it out as once again, he starts talking.
'…paint, cloth, why-even blood! The possibilities!' The Doctors eyes slide towards me slyly 'That means, of course…'
I bite my lip and try not to tremble.
'…there'll be no more melting walls and floors for you!'
11.
Now that the immunity to my spores has been discovered, I am forgotten about.
Oh, they still feed me, and every so often they take me out for tests and exercise. But not like before. They have mastered my powers, I am no longer an enigma. All the information on me has been recorded and locked away for some other date, should the Mibu ever have need of my particular brand of monster.
Doctor White must have found something else to concentrate on.
I miss them, kind of, because they broke up the monotony of this place. They meant that I was SOMETHING. Something monstrous, to be sure, but I was something worth taking note of. Now I am nothing, of no importance anymore.
The only good thing about the serum is that I no longer burn away my gown.
Lady only visited me twice more after that day. She never liked me a lot, but I think she was sad for me, for this place in general, because she hinted that there are others who are experimented on in here, even if she never said it out right and I never saw them.
I liked her company though, she told me things, explained why I was here and what was out there. The last time I see her, she is very sick. There are bandages all over her body, and she looks ever so sad that I almost cried.
'Why are you…so sick?'She won't meet my eyes, looking instead behind me.
'This will likely be my last visit to you.' Lady replies tersely, and I look up in fear and burst into tears. With her gone, there would be no one.
'Wah-why? Why can't you s-stay?' I ask her between sobs.
'Because I can't.' She snaps, as she fiddles with the bandage on her wrist. I stop crying at her no nonsense tone, looking ruefully at the floor that no longer melts.
We are both quiet for a while, and I feel almost angry with her. Leaving me here, all alone when she knows she's my only visitor. A painful knot tightens my stomach, and I find myself clenching and unclenching my fists.
'I…I'm going to the forest…' she says so quietly, and all my anger is gone.
'The-the forest?' I stare wide-eyed 'Isn't that…dangerous? What about the failures?'
But anything she might have said was cut off by the guards gruffly telling her times up.
The only advantage the immunity solution gave me was that now I cannot burn through my clothes.
12.
Something in the darkness shifted, and I wake groggily, uncurling from the thin sheets that are twisted around my limbs. I sleep fitfully now, often waking many times a night from some nightmare. My room has been completely covered by Doctor White's discovery, so I no longer wake to the searing smell of melted linen and rock.
It makes me lonely, but on this night, I am not alone.
Something is different about my cell. As I stumble up, I try to catch the difference. It is a moment before I do so, because in fact, it is so strange, I almost can't believe it is real.
My…door is…open.
A dim light falls in, and softly I walk towards it, stretching out my hands to let it cover them. My skin is tingling all over. Fear, nervousness, anticipation and wonder all seem to buzz under my skin. This feels like a dream. It is all so strange. I'm not sure I even understand what this event implies.
Blinking I reach out for the doorframe as I peer out to the corridor long barred from me. I cannot step forward, though; it's as if the door is still here, holding me back. I almost…want to stay. Everything I know, all that is familiar, lies behind me. I am not so frightened anymore, as I know what to expect.
Why should I leave then, if it will only scare me?
In my room, I am alone, but at least I am safe. The outside, the unknown, how could I ever survive out there? I know nothing, only what little Lady taught me. Out there I would be alone and scared and very vulnerable.
But…what if…
What if it were better? I have never been happy here, yet I know that that is an emotion because Lady told me about it because I didn't know. Was happiness scary? Could I be happy, in a place so unknown to me?
I shiver, and then shudder at the thought. I almost shrink away from the light; I want to curl back under my blanket. I almost do.
Light footfalls break through my thoughts, and I look up to see a figure running my way. They-it sees me, and slows down as they approach. I step back a little; I can feel my skin aching a little from fear.
'Are you coming?'The question itself throws me off balance. An invitation, given so freely? I squint to make out the features of this other. A simple gown, pale skin and sharp horns sprouting from his head. An experiment, like me, because no one in the Mibu would ever extend their hand to one like us.
None of the Mibu have such long claws either.
'Wha-'
I see his face move, and his voice is almost urgent.
'The Demon Three have gone on rampage, they've let a lot of us out. We're escaping.'
Demon Three…?
Rampage…?
E-escape…?
'Escape…b-but where too?'
'It doesn't matter. Are you coming or not?'
The urgency and impatience is definitely there now. Is he just as afraid as I? Or maybe he is afraid of being too late, of being caught again.
'…ok.'
I've made up my mind. I'll risk it, I think. I don't want to stay here no more. I nod at the other experiment, and a smile flashes on his lips before he turns and continues down the corridor. My heart flutters, a little. A smile! Since when did anyone smile at me?
I jog to catch up with him, for he is almost running himself. Running to get away, out of here, and I can't help but feel excited. My skin tingles a little, so I make sure to keep a little way behind my companion, so that I don't hurt him.
That would be terrible.
There is a strange sort of silence as we run past. Every so often, I'll here faint screams or roaring from far away, and the horned man will look around, warily, before ushering me to hurry up.
All the doors are open, which is quiet frightening. I get glimpses of other cells, or of horror rooms full of suffering that both of us can feel through some kind of sense. My companion will always check the cells, looking for others like me, dazed and confused. We found one creature who was so weak he could not stand at all, and we were forced to leave him there.
I am so glad to have someone with me,
'Who…are the Demon Three?' I whispered anxiously as we walked passed the dead bodies of three guards and a scientist. Blood was smeared all over the white walls and I could see the gaping holes in their broken bodies.
I had gagged violently when we first came upon them, and it takes all my courage to walk past. I can feel the floor melting under my feet; I am shaking so much right now. I think that the Demon Three have done this, whoever they are. I am worried about what will happen if we come across them.
The horned mutant gives me a strange look, before answering.
'They are some of the strongest of us created. Dangerous and uncontrollable, the Demon Child Band...' His eyes flicker 'They've been trying to get out for ages, and now they have. But don't worry-'
He must have seen my look of fear. I swallow my gasp and nod dutifully. It's always best to agree.
'They won't hurt us, they're only after…them.' He finishes, nodding meaningfully behind us. I shiver.
'Come on.' He says, not unkindly.
'How do you know the way out?' I ask once we've started off again.
'I'm following the trail of blood they left behind, looks like one of them was wounded.'
'Oh.' And I can't think of anything to say.
Slowly, the white walls turn to gray and then to rock, marred by the occasional body or bloodstain. I am very brave, though. I don't cry out or anything, and even though I am sporing, it's not too much, and I don't think that my companion has noticed. I think I recognize this place though, and I say as much to the horned man, but he merely nods in a distant sort of way as he chooses the next path.
So I fall silent again, concentrating on keeping my balance on the roughly cut rock steps. Each step produces a muffled echo as we journey further and further down until my legs hurt and ache horribly. It's getting colder too, the further down we go. I try counting in my head to distract myself.
Once, my companion stops suddenly. I almost crash into him, but I am very careful and manage to pull myself back. My heart is hammering though, what if I had touched him?
And then, suddenly, he is shorter and reaching OUT TO ME!! Screaming, I throw myself backwards and scramble away from his groping hands. My dust is poring out of me now, from all the fear and stress and I am gasping for air as I see him pull back. Then he sees the rock melting around me, and his face darkens as he meets my gaze.
My stomach turns cold, for I've seen that look before.
'Y-you mustn't t-touch mm-me…' I stammer, looking down to the ground and feeling the tears of shame welling up in my eyes. He was only trying to help me, too, cause now I can see the big shelf he was going to help me down.
Now he won't want me around, knowing what a freak I am. He'll leave me here to wonder around alone until I'm caught o-or starve or something, and it was all going s-so well, I-
'You didn't say you were one of the Dusk Kids.' He says so quietly, I stop crying.
Sniffing, I shake my head, but mumble out some words pitifully. I've never felt so miserable, I don't think. My throats all choked up, too. I can't-won't answer, until something in what he said catches my attention.
'O-one of the Dust…d-dya mean that…that there's more of me?'
Vaguely I can see his face turn surprised and then unhappy.
'There was once,' he says, stepping away 'I don't know what happened to them-watch out, it's big…'
And even with his warning, I still fall a little way and scrape my knees. But I don't care, he's staying away now, and looking at me warily, but he hasn't run off and left me. It's a good feeling, I decide, when someone stands by you.
It dawns on me suddenly, where we are headed, for the cave mouth opens up wide, leading to the outside. Again there is the bright blue, which I know is the sky, and the dark green stretch that is the forest, and my heart almost stops. This is where the failures are taken; this is where we can escape.
'This way, come on! I've been here before!' I smile as I run passed the horned man. Happy now, cause I can show the way.
But, the strangest things happen.
His smile turns to a cry, and he lunges forward again to grab my arm, pulling me away as the first spear buries itself in the ground where I stood. My head snaps to the front to see the five guards advancing from the shadows, shining blades ready. Even as I feel my own fear, the Dust pores out from my skin, and the cry behind me turns to a scream. I look in horror to see my companion, my rescuer, staring at his melting hands.
NO! NO!!! WHAT HAVE I DONE?
I scream, blinded, now by tears as I run away as fast as I can from what I've done. I tear past the guards, hearing them scream as my skin burns and aches and spores. I stumble down the rock, and then fall, unable to help myself as I tumble off the edge and out of the cave.
My feet hit dirt and I run. Into the forest.
Where the failures go.
Authors note: Dr White always seemed a bit of a nutter to me. I think he would be the sort to gloat over his own test subjects.
The end was a little rushed, I admit, and Santera's maturity regarding words seems to flucuate bit, but oh well. Hope you're all still there!