A/N: Hello! I apologize for having a bit of an absence in updating, longer than it has been before. At least it feels that way. Life got a bit busy and I also had really annoying writer's block that was stopping me from getting this chapter written. To make it up to you, this chapter is a long one and I hope you don't mind. I have tons to say so I'll say some of it here.
A lovely author, kelpie169, has reviewed Day Late Friend and it is up on her website, which I will forever be excited about. The link is in my bio if you guys are interested in reading her sweet review. She also has her own stories on FF so go check her out. Thank you so very much, Kelly!
I'd like to shout out my two dear friends, who pulled me out of my writer's block by fangirling with me (Camille, that's you) and just putting my mind back into the right place in order to write (Mari, you simply understand where I'm coming from, always). They have their own TMI stories, that I personally love, so go check them out if you haven't already.
Breakups and Shakeups by DeathCabForMari
Coming Home by rippingbutterflywings or 1989 which she just posted yesterday and it made my feels visit the whole spectrum of emotion.
Also, shout out to Ydissbooksogood & Islandgirl4evR for bonding with me over my stories and being so encouraging, constantly. Thank youu so much for your support.
And finally, the songs that are in this chapter are:
I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab For Cutie (Appreciate DeathCabForMari for suggesting this song, please)
Stay - Mayday Parade
Call Me Hopeless, But Not Romantic - Mayday Parade
Bodybag - Hit The Lights
I haven't done a disclaimer in a while so I'll add that into here too. All characters belong to Cassandra Clare (except beloved Dylan and douchebag Derek) but the story does belong to me. All the rights to the songs go to the respective bands.
Thought I'd add that in once a while. But yes, anyway, enough of this, this is too long, I'm sorry, I hope you like it!
Clary looked over her shoulder when she heard the click of the hotel door. She made eye contact with Simon as he opened the door and peaked inside. She smiled. "Hey," She said and he walked in, the door closing behind him.
He flashed her a grin. "Hey." He leaned against the door. "Isabelle asked me to come in here and see if you wanted to join us for breakfast or wanted another plate."
"Yeah, she's been texting me non-stop," Clary said as her phone flashed again from an unopened text. "I kind of just wanted a quiet breakfast," Clary said, looking at her plate.
"Is it okay if I sit with you?" Simon asked.
"Yeah, you're quiet enough," Clary said and Simon sat in the seat beside her while they looked out the window. The two stared out the window for almost ten minutes as Clary ate her breakfast and Simon didn't bother her. She glanced at him before popping a grape into her mouth. "I'm okay, Simon."
He looked at her. "Are you sure? You were pretty upset last night. Did something happen with Dylan? Isabelle said she gets why you were crying but, I don't know, I guess I'm worried that you two fought," Simon said and Clary smiled to herself just hearing that Isabelle was in tune with her.
"We didn't fight. Our realizations just got achingly painful," Clary said, staring at the table. "I've just always felt this sadness for Dylan. I've always tried to help to keep him happy but the one thing that really hurts him is something I can't force."
"What is that?"
"I can't ..." Clary paused. "I can't love him the same way he loves me." She looked up. "It hurts me that I can't. It hurts me that he knows that."
"Clary." Simon sat at the edge of his seat to sit closer to her. "You can't force yourself to be in love with someone. You know that."
"I know, I just wish I could have," Clary said, still not making eye contact. "I thought something must have been wrong with me. I thought maybe I was broken because of Jace and because of him, I thought I couldn't trust someone enough to really love them. I mean, who in their right mind wouldn't love Dylan back?" Clary asked, looking at Simon, who glanced down to avoid looking into the pain in her eyes. "Then one day, that pain from Jace felt like it faded and it was like I could breathe again. I felt hopeful that everything, anything would be alright. But Dylan wasn't there anymore, he wasn't there to try and see if I could love him back."
Simon reached out and took her hands to put in his own. "Clarissa," he said, seriously. "You can not control how people feel towards you. You can't shield people from pain. That is not up to you, you have no say in that. You have no say in how you make people feel if it isn't intended. People get hurt, everyone gets hurt and no matter what you do, you can't control that. You don't pick and choose what your heart wants, your heart chooses for you and screws you over because you ache and feel like you're dying if you don't follow it's wants."
Clary smiled a little to herself.
"That's why Dylan made that choice to continue loving you despite you not feeling the same way. He chose that, Clarissa. That doesn't make his pain any less but he knows what he was getting into. If you force yourself to love him, you will both hurt more and I think that's the worse thing you two could possible do to each other. You can't pretend something like that, you two aren't good at being blind to something. You are the type of person who needs feelings that are real, people that are real - that is why you and Isabelle are one. I need you to stop beating yourself up over this." Simon sat back and shook his head. "Screw anyone else, Clary. Honestly. I want you happy. You take care of us in so many ways and you help us get our shit together. It's our turn to help you out. It's our turn to have your back 4 in the morning when you need us to help sort out your mind." He leaned forward and held her hands again while her emerald eyes glanced down at him. "I want you to be free for once. I want you to focus on yourself and what you want. Please try that for me, for us. For yourself Clary, shit. Just try it."
"Look who I found," Simon sang as he opened the door into Jace's room where they were all having ordered room service. He had Clary's hand in his and he raised it in the air as she rolled her eyes with a smile on her face.
"Good morning, Clarissa!" Magnus said as the group whooped and clapped their hands. "You have the most wonderful complexion," He said simply as Jordan gave him a weird look.
"Second round of breakfast, Clary?" Maia asked, gesturing to the table full of food.
"I'm okay," Clary responded kindly then her eyes found Jace's as he sat on the couch.
He was looking at her hesitantly, obviously not sure if she was still upset at him. She plopped down beside him and smirked, opening her hand that had a couple grapes in it.
"Did you bring that from your room?" He asked, glancing at her hands.
She popped one in her mouth. "Yup." He chuckled at her then turned forward, the two sitting beside each other in comfortable silence.
"Clary," Jonathan said, looking over Alec to make eye contact with his sister. "I was telling everyone about when we were younger and the bodyguards would bring their kids on tour, all sons, which was convenient for Jace, so wasn't a girl pusher," He said and Clary could hear Jace exhale through his nose in annoyance. "That when the boys would try to play with you, he'd push them and then quiz the little boys on how much they know about you."
"Yes then I'd get very upset with him then push him over too," Clary said, turning to look at Jace, who glanced at her, unamused. "Then we'd chant Jealous Jace."
Isabelle and Simon laughed then Jonathan began the chant while everyone in the room joined except Clary, who giggled to herself and Jace, who rolled his eyes.
"Thank you for that," He told her and she grinned, not looking at him.
She popped a grape in her mouth and chomped down. "You're welcome."
"Holy. Shit." Clary stared out the darkened black van windows. The tips of her fingers were against the glass as she stared with her jaw dropped.
"Holy shit!" Isabelle squealed as Clary could feel Isabelle leaning on her back to get a better look. The two looked back at the boys, who were cursing and going crazy as the bus waited to make a left on the busy Sunset Boulevard. "We need a picture of this."
Clary reached for her phone and her hands shook as she scrambled to take a picture. Above the encased glass of posters, right beside the huge iconic 'ROXY' sign was bold black letters against the white background. It said 'THE ELITE FOUR' and it made Clary's heart beat fast. She could feel it in her heart that they were in the moment of a change. She could feel that after tonight, things may never be the same. Because under the band's name it had the words 'SOLD OUT' and Clary knew she could point out that moment in her memories some time in the future and be able to say to herself that this was the exact moment everything was different.
After the two black vans parked, one containing their instruments, the other including the band, Jace, Maia and Jordan, the band made their way across the street to take a picture of their sign. Walking back, Clary looked at Jace, who was obviously frustrated as he spoke in a hushed voice to Maia and Jordan. He shook his head with finalty then put his hands in his jacket. Jordan looked to Maia and Maia sighed then shrugged, saying something to the two in reply.
The three looked up as the band approached then they were led inside through the back entrance.
"Clary," Jordan called out while the band set up their instruments and Clary sat at the piano she would be using. She looked down towards the front of the stage. "Wanna discuss schedules?"
"Yes!" Clary said, jumping up. "I had a few questions. Let me get my planner in the van." She jumped off the stage and Isabelle rolled her eyes at Clary's excitement over organization.
After getting the keys from Bat, Clary pushed the door open and walked towards the van, parked next to a metal barrier that went down a slope onto the sidewalk. She smiled a little when she saw Dylan standing at the sidewalk, his phone in his hand, tilted to it's side, with raised arms to take a picture of the sign. Her smile faded as she got closer and was able to see the dark colors on Dylan's left cheekbone that stood out from his pale skin.
"Crazy, huh?" Clary asked as she opened the van door. Dylan's shoulders jumped then he looked at her, pointing above him.
"That is crazy," Dylan said walking up the slope while she grabbed her planner and closed the door. "The fucking Roxy has the band's name on it."
"I know," Clary said, not being able to stop smiling. The two smiled at each other then looked down, unsure what to say. "Why are you around so early?"
"I was hoping to catch you guys before I come back with Derek tonight," Dylan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "We're supposed to put up a united front."
"United?" Clary asked, trying not to laugh. "United against Isabelle Lightwood?"
Dylan gave a nod. "Apparently. And Derek called me a traitor for letting him leave on his own." Dylan raised his eyebrows. "He's dumb."
"Yes, he is," Clary said, laughing a little. "But good. He should come later. Isabelle is gonna tear him apart."
Dylan smiled now. "Well, good."
"Do you wanna come watch rehearsal then?" Clary asked and Dylan looked behind her.
"Uh, am I allowed to? I mean, considering -" Dylan started and Clary gave a nod.
"You're allowed," Clary said, with finality. "Jealous Jace has been tamed. I hope you've tamed your Douchebag Dylan."
Dylan chuckled. "I have."
"Okay, good," Clary said, holding out a hand. "Come on."
"I'm not going, Mai," Jace told Maia while her shoulders fell. "I don't care about some date. I have to be here tonight."
She sighed. "I know, I know. I just needed confirmation." She got on her phone and started emailing someone.
"I'm sorry," Jace apologized and Maia inclined her head as indication that she understood. She walked towards Jordan, who leaned against the wall and winked at Maia as she approached him. Jace's eyebrows rose in surprise and confusion at it. He turned away, deciding it was nothing. His eyes got wide as he saw Clary open the door and wait for someone to enter with her.
Slowly, Dylan peaked inside then walked in, looking at the venue as Clary grinned. She displayed the venue with a swift extent of her right arm going from left to right. She looked up at him with a beaming smile and he returned it. He looked down at her and Jace could feel his heart getting squeezed. With no alcohol to haze his mind and with a new outlook on their relationship, Jace could see the love in Dylan's eyes for her. He could see that in a single look - by the way his eyes softened, the way his gaze followed her - Dylan was in love with Clary. And by the way she looked at him with only light in her eyes and a comfortable body language, Jace realized that his yearning did not match her own.
"Poor bastard," Jace whispered as he watched the undeniable connection between them. They looked at each other at the same moments, he followed her without actually seeing where she was going. Jace looked down as he forced himself to look away.
"Hi, Dylan," Isabelle said, leaning down to hug him from the stage. "Is your brother coming tonight?"
"Yes, Izzy," Dylan replied, amused until she stood up then stomped her stiletto heel down. Dylan and Clary's smiles fell and they looked at her with her wide eyes.
"Good," She said, raising her left shoulder then walking away.
"Isabelle has gotten scarier over time," Dylan commented and Clary nodded as the two turned around.
Clary's breath caught when she saw Jace walking over and she saw Dylan's body go completely rigid.
"Hello," Jace said, walking closer with caution.
"I told him Jealous Jace has left the building, if you -"
Jace put his hands up and said, "I just came here to talk to Dylan. I vow not to hit."
Clary looked at Dylan, who looked surprised. "I vow not to instigate," He said, quickly.
She looked between them with narrowed eyes then waved her hand as if to dismiss them. "Fine but I am across the room. I will see any sort of altercation or angry body language." She passed by in the middle of them, giving them both a look before she was gone, making her way towards Jordan.
"So I wanted to," Jace started to say but looked over Dylan's head to see Simon standing there, staring right down at him. "Real subtle, Simon."
As if he got caught, Simon got red then walked away. Jace looked around, confused at Simon's reaction when he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was listening.
"Can we move to over there?" Jace asked and Dylan nodded, following Jace to the steps that led up to the bar area, right beside the merchandise window, that was empty and unoccupied. "Look," Jace said, looking at his shoes first as he dragged his right hand through his hair. "I'm really sorry about what happened last night."
Dylan was looking at Jace with his eyes in slits. He was convinced that Jace was doing this to be in cahoots with Clary and just to show that he was saying sorry but he couldn't even look Dylan in the eyes.
Jace looked up and surprise wiped Dylan's face. When Jace made eye contact with him, finally looking up and standing up straight, his eyes were sincere.
"Are you an actor?" Dylan asked.
Jace looked away then took a moment. "Um. No." Jace shook his head a little then jumped back on topic. "I understand if you don't believe me but I am sorry. I didn't mean to start a fight with you. I just got surprised with the reality of things and I wasn't ready for it at all."
Dylan looked at Jace tentatively, wondering if he should trust him and the apology he was so easily handing out.
Seeing his hesitation, Jace continued, "I didn't actually realize until after I, um, hit you that you were actually right and that's why I got so upset. I don't know much at all about Clary as of recently and we're going to fix that." Dylan looked down as he said 'we'. "I also didn't realize until Isabelle came to talk to me that you were essential in Clary getting stronger." Dylan looked up at him in surprise at this. "And I should rather thank you for helping, um, how would I phrase this? For helping her move past the little fuck I was being." Dylan cracked a smile. "I know now that you mean a lot to her and she means a lot to you, which was why you were so angry with me. I realized that there was no way for you to know we had already talked and you only knew me as that 11-year-old twat." Jace blinked. "I apologize for the choice of words."
"No, you were just that," Dylan said but his tone was light.
Jace smiled. "So I'm sorry. Also, sorry for rambling, I tend to do that."
Dylan stood up straight and gave a nod, "Same here." Dylan held out a hand, stepping back. "Look, I'm sorry I baited you. Really. When I saw you, I could only see the guy that broke her heart and soul, you know?"
Jace flinched slightly and Dylan's face dropped a little seeing it. "Yeah, I understand." Jace turned around when Jon called out for Clary then looked to his right as Jordan called him from the elevated VIP section. "Excuse me for a moment," Jace said, and Dylan pursed his lips as he heard Jace's 'business man' voice. "Wait," Jace said, turning back around to face Dylan. "Would you like a backstage pass for tomorrow night? Our last show is at Greek Theater if you weren't doing anything."
"Oh," Dylan said, shifting his weight.
"I mean, I'd like to make it up to you a little for, you know -" Jace pointed at his own eye. "Doing that to you."
Dylan laughed. "Yeah, sure."
Jace gave a nod then jogged over to Clary, leaning down, his hands on his thighs as he bent to listen to her. She looked down at him and was talking eagerly as her pen bounced in the air as she used it to make points.
Dylan stared at Jace and the way his eyes were transfixed on Clary. He absolutely looked like he was in a trance, nodding occasionally to show he was absorbing her words. Dylan winced. "Poor bastard."
Clary handed Isabelle her drum sticks as she did her usual messy bun.
"Where are your boyfriends?" Isabelle asked and Clary threw her a glare.
Clary tried to look through the curtain that was flowing from the air blasting from above them from a vent.
She huffed when she couldn't see anything. "I think they're being boyfriends to each other."
Simon laughed a little. "What do those two have to bond about?"
Isabelle and Simon walked over to the stage and peaked, careful not to show themselves to the crowd.
"Clary, duh," Isabelle whispered and Clary's eyes got wide. She turned around and pulled out her phone.
Dylan and Jace dropped their shot glasses onto the wooden bar and both had pained expressions as they swallowed their shot of whiskey.
Jace opened his eyes when his phone lit up with a text from Clary. He swiped to the right and read 'Stop being boyfriends with Dylan. Join us in the back before they go on.' Jace side eyed Dylan, who looked at him, confused.
"What?" Dylan asked.
"Nothing," Jace said, stuffing his phone in his pocket ignoring the fact Clary had called them 'boyfriends'. "Clary said we should head back." Jace leaned back, holding onto the edge of the bar. "Raphael. Are you sure you don't want a shot? I'll get you a billion."
"I'm sure you would, Mr. Jace," Raphael said, looking around at the girls Jace's back was facing. "Last time I let you get me drunk you disappeared and I got severely reprimanded by your father. Well, after Jordan found me half naked in a bush, of course." Jace grinned at him.
"That was a great night," Jace told him then slid off his seat as Dylan turned around and froze. He stared at the invisible line that girls were standing behind after Raphael had ordered them. Jace smiled and said, loudly, "Goodbye, ladies. I hope you all enjoy the show. The Elite Four!" which resulted in the girls saying in unison, 'The Elite Four!'
Jace laughed as Dylan followed him through the crowd, Raphael leading their line.
"The Boyfriends!" Isabelle exclaimed making Clary shove her as Jace and Dylan looked at each other in confusion. "What? Only you can get two feuding boys to act good enough to be friends on your behalf," Isabelle whispered to Clary then walked away as the Jace and Dylan stood before her.
Dylan looked down at his phone when it vibrated in his hand. "Oh, my brother is here. I'm gonna tell him I'll be staying here for the show."
"What happened to being united?" Clary asked, exaggerating the word, obnoxiously.
"United," Dylan overly mocked her, making Jace smile to himself. She crossed her arms, trying to stop the smile forming on her lips. "I'll tell him he can suck it." Clary gave a laugh and Dylan shook his head, rolling his eyes at her. He walked off, looking down at his phone. "Oh wait," He said to himself then turned around, frozen in his steps as he saw them.
Jace was looking down at Clary, the two of them smiling at each other as they spoke. Jace laughed then pressed her cheeks together and she slumped her shoulders. She looked up into his eyes as he told her something with sincerity then she broke into a laugh and pushed him away. Dylan suddenly became aware of his own breathing and it was all he could hear other than Death Cab For Cutie's I Will Possess Your Heart playing through the speakers of The Roxy.
How I wish you could see the potential,
the potential of you and me.
It's like a book elegantly bound but,
in a language that you can't read.
Just yet.
As hard as Dylan tried, he couldn't pry his eyes away. He couldn't take his eyes away from their unbreakable eye contact. He couldn't turn away from the fact that he and a few others were blatantly watching them but they were in their own world, unable to notice. He couldn't ignore the fact that they simply looked like they should be together. He couldn't ignore how in tune even their physical bodies were. If one shifted to their right, the other was doing the same. If one smiled, the other was smiling at the same time.
There are days when outside your window
I see my reflection as I slowly pass,
and I long for this mirrored perspective
when we'll be lovers, lovers at last.
Dylan watched as Jace took one of Clary's hands and held it in both of his. He told her something and she nodded, then literally shook off what he could only guess as nervousness. He dropped their hands and Clary held her hands together, tightly. She then put her hands over her face, covering her eyes from seeing the look that Jace had on his face. He looked completely enamored. It was undeniable that Jace was in love with Clary.
Dylan gulped then turned around, forcing himself to walk away, feeling like all he knew about love might have been a lie. How could he love someone so much when it was clear she was meant to be with someone else? Why did love play the cruel joke of unrequited love on him? The idea that if she loved him in any way would be enough began to deteriorate in Dylan's mind. After seeing her with Jace, Dylan realized it was absolutely unfair to have love for a girl who already had an entire universe of love from someone else.
You gotta spend some time, Love.
You gotta spend some time with me.
And I know that you'll find, love
I will possess your heart.
You gotta spend some time, Love.
You gotta spend some time with me.
And I know that you'll find, love
I will possess your heart.
I will possess your heart.
I will possess your heart.
Clary looked around yet again. Dylan had never come back after he said he would tell Derek that he was going to watch from backstage. She looked up at Jace.
"You ready?" He asked and she nodded meekly then looked back at the entrance for back stage. No Dylan.
"Jace," Clary whispered and Jace leaned down to hear her. He looked at her when she didn't say anything. "The second song. It's the past, okay? It's not the present. Remember that."
Jace searched Clary eyes. She was begging him. He gave a nod.
Clary looked out from the side of the stage as her brother announced her. She walked out and waved out at the crowd, not able to hide her reaction. The floor was filled, all the way back to the bar. They cheered for her as she sat down on her piano seat. She looked out for Dylan, breathing a sigh of relief to see him with his brother. 'At least he didn't leave,' She thought as she made herself comfortable. She took a deep breath as the crowd went silent. She closed her eyes and her fingers began to play as Jon sang.
I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now
Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me
And it's taking me to somewhere new
Clary looked over her shoulder as she played. She watched Isabelle, who had a far away look in her eyes. When Isabelle looked up, she made eye contact with Clary.
'Are you okay?' Clary mouthed.
Isabelle nodded with a small smile as Clary inclined her head towards her as Isabelle joined in with the drums.
Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well
Since the last time that we spoke, you said
"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."
Clary faced forward then closed her eyes as Jonathan whispered 'Please' into the mic then Alec and Simon joined in. She didn't open her eyes until the bridge came and she immediately looked over at Isabelle, who was singing on her own, along with Simon and Jonathan.
I'll admit I was wrong about everything
Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down
All the fun that we had on your mothers couch,
I don't even wanna think about
Clary turned to her left to look out at the crowd. She looked at the faces that sang along, the ones that bopped their heads, the faces that were smiling in the euphoria of live music. Then she found Dylan's eyes on her as Jonathan sang,
I'm not strong enough for the both of us
What was I supposed to do
You know I love you
She pulled her gaze away and stared down at the keys she was playing, ignoring the lump in her throat.
Jace was smiling to himself as he watched with his arms crossed, bopping his head along to Isabelle's drums when he noticed Clary look out into the crowd. Seeing the look on her face, he knew that she was looking at Dylan. He forced down the lump in his throat processing that the words in the song were probably meant for Dylan when she wrote it.
He looked down at his shoes until the band made a flawless transition into the next song.
It's the past, okay? It's not the present. Remember that.
Remembering her words, Jace looked up hearing her voice with Jon's. She was singing to the song. Jace stared at her with wide eyes knowing this was the very first time she ever sang along on stage.
I can't believe that so much time was spent on my own
Just trying to figure it out all alone
Don't show emotion, let this go
I can't pretend that everything is still okay
Until you rightfully say what you said
The night you left me here for dead, for dead
Jace looked over at Isabelle and she was looking at him. She gave him a reassuring nod and he gave one back as Isabelle's words from the night before rang through his mind.
A lot has changed, Jace. You can't get mad at every realization that you've missed a huge part of each other's lives.
Jace tore his eyes away from watching Isabelle and looked back at Clary as she sang with all the boys now.
Why do you cry when you're falling asleep
And girl, how can you love without ever losing it all
Don't put your faith in this when you won't believe it
Where did you go
How will you find yourself when your hand to hold is letting go
Where did you go
How will you tell yourself you're losing hope
Losing Hope
Jace looked towards Isabelle when she sang along with Simon on the next verse.
Is it just me or has this time we've spent come undone
I know forever is not what you want
I'll pack my bags and brush it off, brush it off
He smiled to himself as he saw Isabelle giggle. As the song progressed, the boys were grinning. Realizing that this was needed for Clary and Isabelle to do, Jace felt the guilt and dread slip away. Before he knew it, Simon was ending the song with his electric guitar and Clary was walking off the stage towards him.
Behind her, Jonathan was saying, "Okay, now this song is strictly for boys who suck and need to get their dicks chopped off. Sorry for the language, Jordan." Then he proceeded to sing the song as Simon grinned, playing beside him while Isabelle Lightwood stood up in the back and sang along, with her arms raised in the air.
You're gonna need a bodybag,
I'll break bones you didn't know you had.
When I'm done there will be nothing left of you
for your friends to hold on to
when they find you cold and blue tonight,
face down in a parking lot.
Jace couldn't help but laugh at the lyrics. Isabelle sat down and began to play along to the first verse. Clary stood beside him and he could feel her tug at his sleeves. He leaned down to his left and she asked, "Are you mad?"
He looked down at her and shook his head. "No, Clary. I understand how cathartic it is." She pursed her lips together then looked at Isabelle as she happily rocked out to the violent lyrics. Clary joined The Elite Four along with the crowd in singing the words while their claps resounded, no guitars being played, only Isabelle's steady beat accompanying the singing of the lyrics.
This time I'm waiting here for you, you got nowhere to hide
He looked to his left as an excited, jumping Clary, was pointing towards the exit. Jace could spot the top of Derek's head leaving the venue. He smirked.
"Hey!" Clary yelled, running out from backstage. Dylan was smiling and she crashed into him with an excited hug. "Wasn't that amazing? It felt really fucking amazing. How was it? What did you think?" She asked, her questions rolling out of her mouth. She stopped and took a deep breath. "Wait, where were you?"
Dylan's smile fell. "Can we talk outside for a bit?"
Clary's excitement left her face and she gave a nod. The two trudged through the crowd and pushed open the back door of the venue, the wind making them brace for cold. They walked away from the crowd of girls who were waiting beside the vans, behind the metal barrier. They turned the corner of the building.
"What happened? Is everything okay?" Clary asked, wrapping her arms around herself.
Dylan itched to give her his jacket but he resisted doing so, knowing his mind would hold onto the sight of her in it. "Yeah. I mean, no." Dylan looked down. He reached into his pocket. "Clary, I don't think I can go tomorrow." He held out the ticket and backstage pass out to her.
She looked down at it but didn't take it. "Why? I thought you and Jace..."
"We are," Dylan said, refusing to look at her. "It's not about Jace."
"Are you upset at me? Did I do-"
"No, you didn't do anything," Dylan said, interrupting her, finally making eye contact. "It's just us, Clary. I can't ... I need a moment to process that we're not ... That this isn't." Dylan took a deep breath and gathered all his strength to be able to say it. "Clary, since we left New York, there was always this part of me that thought maybe our paths would cross again and we would be together. I never expected it but I never really got over that idea either." He saw Clary shiver but he wasn't quite sure it was from the cold. "I - I realized today that 'we' are never going to happen. Not in any way that we would be happy." He watched her eyes look down towards the ground. "I guess I knew it before but I had never dealt with that fact. Today, I saw exactly why we would never work out in being together. And I, I need a moment to recover from that, Clary." She looked up at him, waiting for him to say what she knew he would. "Apart from you. Apart from any contact for a while, apart from seeing you tomorrow."
She nodded. "I ..." She struggled to find her words as she reached out and took the tickets and pass from his fingers. "I get it. And I'm sorry."
"It isn't your fault."
"I'm still sorry," Clary said and Dylan nodded.
"I know and I'm sorry I have to make it this way for a little bit. It's just I-"
"I know," Clary told him. "I understand, Dylan."
He nodded and the two stared at each other's shoes.
"Look, have a great time on tour, okay?" Dylan said and she peeked at him. "Watching you guys up there tonight, I know everything is changing. And it's going to be fucking huge."
She smiled, looking away. "Yeah, it feels that way, doesn't it?"
"Oh, it's a fucking fact at this point," he said and she gave a laugh. "I'll still be there in New York, okay? I'll be ready by then." She nodded. "I'll text you when I-"
"Whenever you're ready," She said, softly.
He gnawed on his bottom lip, nervously. "Okay." He started to walk away from her, towards the corner of the building. "Clary," He said and she looked up at him. "I saw you and Jace and I see that that's 'it'."
"What's-"
"It just is 'it'," he said, with a smile. "You'll know what I'm saying later on. Just ... don't let what has happened stop you, okay? And we're alright. Remember that we're alright." She nodded. He pushed his hands into his pockets. "I, you know, you. You know that, right? That I do? Nothing will change that."
"I know," She said, her fingers gripping into her upper arms. "Always the same with you. I'll always have, you know, that, for you."
Dylan laughed, making Clary smirk. "It's like we're fucking kids." He inclined his head down at her. "Love you, Clarissa. Always will."
"Love you too, Dylan," She said, smiling as best she could. He raised his eyebrows as he inhaled the cold in, then turned around, walking away from her, disappearing around the corner. Clary leaned her head back, looked up at the night sky then took a deep breath.
A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait, my dears. I feel so bad about the late update, please forgive me. There also may be typos I missed, I'll be fixing those! I just wanted to post this chapter as soon as possible.
I'm eager to know your reactions so please let me know what you think! By the way, I can not explain how happy I am that many of you are loving this story along with me. You guys make my soul cry from joy. Please continue to tug at my heartstrings and leave some reviews & feedback :)
Also, I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving if your families celebrate!
Thank you to everyone who has left reviews and has alerted/favorited this story! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seeing feedback for this story really makes the writing fun and worthwhile. Also, to anyone who PMs me back and tells me kind things, thank you so very much.
Shout out to EmFinch, ClaceAndPeeniss4eva, Ydissbooksogood, Emily1515, Guest, TesaRose, firequeen8569, Cheery Tropay Venturi, Arcoirizada, VampiressBeauty20, Riley207, DeathCabForMari, Guest (CiCi), 5sos team Calum, tmi lover, camilabarba718, lindsayhonaker, rcs17, Guest, silvermice12, kennna97, fanofanfic, imcrazyanditscontagious, cfire27, shaniamae99, xxo, Katwood5, rippingbutterflywings, fictionallfangir, shannie83, Arelia Miles, Islandgirl4evR, AKA SherlockHolmes, Ramanaddict and of course kelpie169!
I don't even know how to express how much I appreciate the reviews you have left. The last chapter had the most amount of reviews I've gotten and it means so very much to me. I love that you all are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing & planning for it. I sincerely give you all hugs.
Since I'm posting this at night (where I am haha) I'll be replying to those I can PM later on tonight or during the day tomorrow!
Guest: Oh, I know. Seriously, bless him. Clary really hurt my heart as well in the last chapter and this one as well. I wanted to show those three having a close friendship. Clary is basically the middle to Isabelle and Simon so I thought it'd be cute how essential she is in their relationship. Thank you for your review! You are amazing for letting me know all that you liked :)
Guest (CiCi): Thank you for your review and even more thank you's for waiting patiently for Clace! I appreciate your patience with me, sincerely. The romantic in you will be happy later on, I promise :) I'm so glad this is one of your favorites, honestly. Thank you for liking my writing & for just reading this since the beginning. I hope you liked this chapter!
tmi lover: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you liked the chapter and I hope you enjoyed this one too.
Guest: So incredibly happy you think the story is amazing so far :) Thank you for your review!
xxo: Of course! Thank you for taking the time to review :) love that you loved it.
fictionallfangir: Thank you for your review, I hope you loved this chapter just as much!