Hope you'll like this chapter. I revised this chapter many times. But I'm still not sure if its okay. I had a writer's block. I was stranded at the half of the story. And Glee isn't helping because they make me cry so much, and I'm distracted. Well, I hope you still like it though

And can I just say, the Brittana Kiss was A-mazing!

CHAPTER 14

"Brittany! Brittany wait!"

The blonde continued running and didn't dare to look back. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She wanted to be alone. Her heart was aching so much, and she wasn't expecting it would be this painful.

The brunette followed Brittany; she ran after her just to be able to grab the blonde's hands. "Brittany, come on. Stop. Just let me talk to you. I'm here as your friend. Let me talk to you and help you. Don't keep it all inside."

Brittany didn't answer. She just cried and cried. The brunette pulled her to a hug.

"I-I prepared myself for that, Rachel. I expected it but it still hurts. I know they would publicly display affection now and then. But you know what hurts the most? I thought she was going to sing a song for me, even if it's a goodbye song or something. At least its for me. It hurts so much. And I…" she wasn't able to continue, she just sobbed.

Rachel was caressing the blonde's back. She didn't really know how to comfort the blonde. So she did what she does best, talk. "Shh. Brittany, I know you love her. I understand that it's painful, but you made your choice, didn't you? You didn't fight for Santana. You gave her up to Quinn."

"I know that, Rach. You don't have to remind me. Its all my fault and I deserve this."

"No Brittany. Nobody deserves to get hurt. What I'm trying to say is-is that life can never promise you to be always happy, but life gets better after you accept things you just can't change"

"I…I'm trying, you know? I know I can't change that Santana has a girlfriend. And I'm trying to accept that. I really am. But is it really my fault that I always fail?"

"Brittany, that's not what I meant. What I'm referring to is your feelings for Santana. And that's why you always fail, because you can't change the fact that you're in love with her." Rachel explained.

Brittany didn't say it out loud; but she knew Rachel has a point. She will always be in love with Santana. "But she's in love with Quinn now. She chose Quinn already; because if she didn't, then it should be her beside me now instead of you."

Rachel wasn't sure on how to answer that. The blonde has a point. Even if Quinn stopped Santana, she should've still followed Brittany. But yet again; you never really understand a person until you consider things from her point of view; until you climb inside of her skin and walk around it. "I'm sure she has her reasons. We are not even sure if she's sure with what she feels. Because honestly, Brittany, I don't believe that she loves Quinn more than you."

"You're just saying that to cheer me up."

"I swear I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. I bet you can feel it too. I really don't get why you won't fight for her, Britt."

"I want both of them to be happy. Even if it means I'll get hurt. Anyway, I can't be happy if they're not, so this is better."

"No Brittany. You know this is not better, or even if it is, its not the best."

"I broke up with Artie to be with her but she can't do the same to Quinn for me. That only means one thing Rachel; she's happy with Quinn. I'm not going to ruin that."

"But you told me before that you told her that you're going to wait a lifetime for her."

"Things change, Rachel."

"But not your love for her. You're just afraid, so you're making damn excuses."

"It hurts enough to see her love someone else. It hurts the first time she rejected me, for the second time, I don't know if I'll survive"

"How can you be so sure she'll reject you?"

"Are you freaking deaf, Rachel? Aren't you listening to what I'm saying? Didn't you even hear what they freaking sang for each other?" Brittany was now raising her voice. She was jealous and bad luck for Rachel that she's the one who's there receiving Brittany's anger. But Brittany forces herself to soften her voice since Rachel was just trying to be a good friend. "Sorry. I-"

"Its okay Brittany. That's totally understandable"

Brittany's POV:

Rachel is right; I'm just making excuses. I'm trying to convince myself that I can't be with Santana because Quinn is my sister and I don't want to hurt her. While that is somehow true, I'm just really scared. That Santana will reject me again. That even if she gives us a second chance, she might realize that Quinn was the better choice. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised because Quinn is like the closest person to perfection. She's everything that I'm not. She deserves Santana more than me. I don't want to take risks. I'm a coward, which is making me less right choice for Santana. Quinn on the other hand, is so brave which fits her perfectly to Santana.

"Britt?"

"Yeah? Sorry. I'm kinda spaced out." Brittany paused for a moment. "Do you think I deserve Santana? Do you really think it will be a good idea to fight for her? Do you think she'll take me back?"

"Why wouldn't she? You're sweet and caring and-"

"You know its not about what I am, Rachel. Its about what Quinn is and what she can do for her that I can't."

"So are you saying you're not willing to do the same for Santana?"

"Of course not. I'm willing to do anything for her but I don't know if I can."

"Surely you can. And I know you can do things for Santana that even Quinn can't. Santana loved you for who you are; she didn't love you because you are like Quinn; she is madly in love with you because you are you. Stop comparing yourself to Quinn"

"I don't even know if she's still madly in love with me. But I guess you're right. She used to say that I'm perfect in my own way. And she loves me for it" There was a small smile that crept Brittany's face when she remembered the times that Santana reminds her of how beautiful and perfect she is.

Rachel smiled too, seeing the smile on the blonde's face. But she knows it wouldn't last long. Because she knows being with Santana is what will make Brittany completely happy. "You bet I'm right. Now let's go to the powder room and wash your face."

Santana walked Quinn to her mom's car. After Brittany walked out, they haven't really spoken to each other. Quinn didn't want to talk because she might say something she would regret; she was jealous alright. She understands why Brittany acted that way, but Santana was a different case. She didn't understand why Santana looked at Brittany passionately while singing a song to her. Okay, so maybe she did know why. But the way Santana sang the song to her, the way she looked at her; she saw something; doubt. And it was painful for her. She did not show it but hurts like hell. She didn't see that earlier but that afternoon it was visible. The hesitation in Santana's words was visible. Maybe if she didn't grow up knowing Santana, she wouldn't notice it. But she did, so it freaking hurts.

Santana on the other hand was silent because she doesn't know what to say. She knows Quinn was mad and upset and she didn't know how to answer whatever question Quinn will throw at her. What if Quinn felt the doubt and the difference of her action from earlier? She didn't know how to explain it without hurting the blonde. Actually, she didn't know either because she was really confused. Its like she has all the answers but they were blurred.

They reached Mrs. Fabray's car. "Hey girls. How you doin'?" she greeted the couple. Perfect question.

How could they come to a point where they can't even answer a very usual and simple question? "Perfect." Quinn lied and smiled like Santana did. She didn't want her mother to suspect any problems (especially about Brittany) because they were going out to chill from their family problem. She doesn't want to spend their bonding time talking about problems.

"Bye, Q." Santana kissed Quinn's cheek. She was glad Quinn didn't flinch but after the kiss she went straight on the passenger's seat without saying goodbye. Santana sighed without Mrs. Fabray noticing. "Bye, Mrs. Fabray. Take care of my girlfriend for me." Santana said to Quinn's mom making it audible for Quinn to hear. This actually made Quinn smile a bit. But of course she didn't let anyone see it. She hated how Santana had that kind of effect on her. She loves it when Santana sound so proud when she say 'girlfriend'.

Judy Fabray chuckled at Santana's sweetness. "Of course I will, Santana."

Santana headed to her car afterwards. She then saw a boy with a Mohawk waiting on her beside her car, Puck.

"What are you doing here?" Santana asked. She had a feeling that it has something to do with her love life though.

"I need a ride." Puck reasoned.

"Ha. You have a lame excuse. You have too many cars to need a ride."

"What? Is it wrong to want to ride my cousin's car every now and then? I didn't bring a car this morning. Dad dropped me off at school today."

"Look, Puck. I'm not in the mood to talk about things that relates to emotions. Please give me a break"

"Okay. I just need a ride anyways. Who said about talking?" Puck entered Santana's car without her permission.

Santana sighed. She knows Puck will talk against her will. But she didn't bother dragging him off her car. "Whatever."

"I'm really disappointed with you. You know that?" Santana scrunched her eyebrows and her head at Puck. "And why is that?" she asked.

"Because you didn't follow her." Puck said firmly.

"What?" Santana sounded annoyed. "You're acting like I'm such a bad person, you know that?"

"Because you are being a bad person to Brittany. To Quinn. And even to yourself."

"I don't even know why I should put up with this. Quinn grabbed my hand, meaning she didn't want me to follow Brittany; it's normal to satisfy my girlfriend first before anyone else. How did that made me a bad person?" She emphasized the 'girlfriend' part.

"I'm impressed how you can emphasize that word"

"And what does that supposed to mean?"

"Are you even happy?" Santana just stared at her as if Puck should know the answer to his question.

"I meant really happy. Because the last time I saw you completely happy was when you're with Brittany."

"So maybe I was happier with Brittany. But its all in the past. Quinn is my present and-"

"You'd be a total dumb-ass if Brittany would not be your future." Puck interjected.

"You are really annoying me. Actually offending me for that matter" Santana said seriously.

"Let me clear it for you. I know Quinn is beautiful, smart, caring, sweet, understanding, totally hot, and may I say good in-" He said even though he didn't experience the care, understanding and sweetness first-hand.

"Okay Puck. Point taken. May I remind you that where talking about my girlfriend here" Santana interrupted not wanting to hear the rest from Puck. She's not comfortable hearing Quinn's ex boyfriend tell her how great her girlfriend is. She gets jealous too.

"Right. So I know Quinn is a wonderful person. And I would totally root for her if I know that you love her as much as you love Brittany, but we both know that's not true. I know you don't want to admit to yourself that you're lying to her on how much you love her, but you don't have to fool yourself. Its just us in here. You can be honest with me. Not only am I your cousin, but I'm also your friend."

Santana let out a defeated sigh. "I just. I would never want to break Quinn's heart. I'm afraid that if I started to admit to myself that I'm not really in love with Quinn, I eventually have to tell it to her too. And it would really hurt her. I don't want that. She deserves to be happy you know? She made so many efforts for me and I want to do the same; I owe her that."

Puck felt what Santana was trying to say. Behind the harsh words and the death glares Santana releases Puck always knew that Santana is really soft and weak when it comes to the people she loves. What he didn't expect is that she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for the one that loves her so much. Or maybe too much.

When Puck was with Quinn he didn't even got any effort from Quinn. He was always the one pleasing the blonde. Quinn was very much like Santana when he was with her, but with Santana she's so vulnerable and sweet. She was like an angel with Santana. That's the reason why she was happy for Santana for having Quinn. But it's the exact reason why she wanted the two to break up. He thought that Quinn deserved someone who would love her like Santana loves Brittany. Its not that Santana isn't enough for Quinn, its just that Santana is not the one for Quinn.

"So you're lying or covering up about your true feelings to Quinn, so you wouldn't hurt her. Is that it?"

Santana hesitated to answer but she did anyways, "I…maybe."

Puck smirked. "If telling the truth can hurt and break someone's heart, what more can a lie do?"

Santana thought of it. Now I'm not really sure if I'm doing Quinn a favor for staying with her –she thought to herself. "You confuse me, do you know that?"

"Not really. I think I'm clearing things for you."

"Hmm. All I know is you're somehow helping. I don't know you got it in you. Didn't know you're capable of helping and stuff" Santana joked.

"I'd just ignore your last comment and take it as a compliment"

Santana smiled.

"What are you planning to do now?"

"Do I look like I have a plan? I don't…How will I know that I made the right decision?"

"Simple, when you picked the harder choice, yet your heart is at peace."

Santana looked at his cousin, "Did I just hear that coming from you?"

"Would you please stop underestimating me? I know stuff about feelings too you know."

"Sorry. We're here." Santana parked her in front of the Puckerman's Residence.

"Don't you want to drop by? I'm sure Mom and Dad would love to see you."

Santana gave him an apologetic smile, "Sorry, I don't think now is a good time. Know what I mean"

"Yeah. Course I do. Bye Couz"

"Oh. Say Hi to them for me"

"Sure" Puck was turned around to go inside.

"And Puck…" he heard Santana say. He looked back and waited for Santana to continue. "Thank you."He grinned and told her "Anytime"

"Quinn?" Quinn heard her Mom call on the other side of the door. "What is it Mom?" she asked as she opened the door of her room. "Oh" she saw her mother with Santana.

"Hi Babe" she greeted shyly. She wasn't really sure if she has the right to call her that.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything." Judy Fabray trailed off.

They just stood there. Santana waited for Quinn to invite her in before she enters her room.

"Are you going to come in or not?" Quinn asked nonchalantly as she seated at her bed. That's the cue for Santana to come in.

"I…uh" Santana didn't know what to say. Normally Quinn was the one who would open a conversation especially when it comes to their problems. Quinn's the one who initiates the talk. But this time was different, Quinn didn't even texted her. And she wasn't planning on waiting for Quinn to initiate. She knew all of this is too much for Quinn to just understand.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry." Words finally came out, at least something came out.

"I'm not going to make this hard for the two of us, Santana. I'm too tired to play dumb" Quinn didn't bother to hide her sadness. She looked really tired to. "Just start explaining to me why you have to tell me that you're in love with me when obviously you're not really sure."

Quinn knew after all. "Maybe I wasn't thinking, or I was thinking too much. I'm really…" Santana was so messed up. "I want to make you happy so bad."

"Well for the record, I'm not happy right now. In fact, I'm very hurt. One thing that I like about you is that you're honest to me. You're honest enough to tell me that you're in love with someone else. I accept that, San. At least I know my place, before. I knew my place and I accept what I can get."

"Accept? We both know that's not true. I can see you're in pain; anyone would be hurt if they know that their girlfriend is in love with someone else. That's why I'm trying, Quinn. I want 'us' to work. I thought that maybe if I convince myself that I'm in love with you, eventually I really will."

"Santana. Trust me, I accept the fact that you're in love with someone else, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurting anymore. Because you're right, I am in pain. What I mean is; I know where I stood, and I continue standing there in pain because I love you. No, I'm in love with you, so, so bad." Quinn stood up to look at her girlfriend straight, and then she gripped Santana's hands. "Don't ever do that again, do you understand? Don't pretend around me, never, because that would hurt me even more."

Santana bit her lip and nodded. "I love you." Santana kissed her girlfriend gently.

Quinn pulled away, her tears was streaming down her cheeks. Santana was now wearing a worried look. She didn't need to ask for Quinn to speak. "I…" Quinn was struggling if she should finish her sentence. She really didn't want to, but she thinks that she have to.

"Babe? Did I do something wrong again?" Santana was nervous. She didn't know why but she is. She doesn't know why Quinn was crying all of a sudden.

"I think we should give each other some space?"

"What? Quinn, I promise I won't lie to you or preten-" Santana stopped talking when she felt Quinn's hands on her lips.

"I was really thinking about this for some time now. I mean, I didn't plan on doing it now but, when you kissed me just now, I realized I can't afford losing you completely."

"So why are you breaking up with me then?"

"You're my girlfriend, but before that, you were my best friend; our friendship is important to me more than anything else. I don't want us to end up badly. I don't want to end up hating you because of hurting me so much and vice versa."

"I'm sure-" she was interrupted again.

"Please, do this for me. Our feelings developed because we were there for each other when we had no one. And now the girl of your dreams wants you back; I can't bear to hold you back and drag you to my loneliness anymore. I know I should have break up with you the moment she wanted you back. But I can't because I want you to myself. And I know that's a selfish thing. You can't break up with me because you don't want me to get hurt and I can see that. Honestly, I'm not planning to give up on us just yet. Actually, I'm not ready to let you go. But I have to…I have to set you free" Quinn's voice cracked.

Santana's tears were flowing on her cheeks too. She shook her head slowly. "Quinn, don't do this to us. I'll be a better girlfriend. I promise."

"San, I'm not closing any doors here. I'm just asking you to take a look at the outside world, and if you like what you see, I'll be happy for you. But if you choose to come back to me, I'll welcome you warmly. We need this. "

"You mean I need this."

"It's not really selfless. We both need time to think. Because as much as I accept that you're in love with Britt, I don't know how long I can bear it. And I don't know if that would work out. I see myself years from now, happily married with you; but I can't say the same with you. As early as now, I want both of us to be sure of this relationship because if not we'd both end up hurting and hating each other."

"I'm sorry. I can see how hard this is for you. If you would ask me, I don't want a break up, but I respect your decision. I mean, I have no right to keep you. I always hurt you. I don't even know if I even deserve to be loved" Santana was just looking at the ground.

"No" Quinn protested. "Look at me. Just because I'm breaking up doesn't mean I'll try to stop loving you; I'll fail miserably anyways. I don't mind spending my life loving you, Santana. But at some point you will realize that you have than too much for someone, that the only next possible way to do is to stop. Its time for you to make a move, San. Not that I'm forcing you, I don't want you to think that I'm that bossy-" Santana shushed her. Santana mouthed 'I know. I understand'

Santana gave her an understanding look and smile. "I love you. And I promise I'll fix myself, for you."

Quinn smiled "I love you more. Just…if ever you decided to come back to me, make sure its because that's what you want and not because you think it's the right thing to do."

"Santana kissed Quinn. She didn't think whether it's the right thing to do. All she knew is that she wanted to kiss the wonderful girl standing in front of her. "Thank you for everything. I promise, Babe…I"

"It's okay. I'll miss calling you 'Babe' too, Babe"

Santana knew its time for her to go. She looked at the door, knowing that when she walks out that door, she's not Quinn's girlfriend anymore. But she was really thankful for Quinn for ending things between them like that; at least they're still friends. That is why she's very thankful. Before Santana could step out completely Quinn called her. "San?"

"Yeah?" she turned to her.

"I'm still the same, Quinn; your best friend." It was the most reassuring smile Santana has ever seen. "We don't need to be estranged"

"Of course, Babe." She smiled back. "See you tomorrow, Q"

Santana was on her way home when she passed by the park. She just felt like going there. So she parked her motorbike. She was reminded of the night when she was with Quinn in the swing; it made her smile. It wasn't really the first time they spent time there. Since they were just kids, she, Quinn and Britt used to go there. They play by the swing and stuff in the morning. And when they feel like staying at night, they watch the stars. The swing was their favorite part of the park, it has witnessed so much, especially the tears that fell every time they go there and talk about problems.

Santana suddenly stopped when she saw a girl by the swing. She was distant but she can recognize who the girl was; considering Santana's fast heartbeat. "Brittany…" she said to herself.