Chapter 14

Jane sighed deeply as she closed Riley's bedroom door. She closed her eyes and waited for a few minutes until she was absolutely sure it stayed quiet. The girl had been crying for a long time without talking. Just silently crying and clutching to her mothers before she finally calmed down enough to go to sleep.

It was a little past midnight but Jane knew she wouldn't get much sleep tonight. She felt a crippling headache announcing itself as she walked downstairs towards her wife. She saw Maura sitting on the couch with her back to Jane, but the detective already knew what she would see before she even approached her. Maura's shoulders were shaking and Jane heard soft sniffles.

"Maura…"

Maura shook her head and wiped her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I-…"

"Don't apologize." Jane sat down next to the blonde and cupped Maura's cheek to kiss her lips.

Maura rested her forehead against Jane's and closed her eyes. "How did she find us, Jane?" she whispered.

"I don't know." Jane sighed and took Maura's hand in hers, squeezing lovingly. "They'll interrogate her, so we'll know."

"I don't know if I want to know."

Jane nodded. She pressed her lips against Maura's for a loving kiss, loving the taste of her wife's soft lips, feeling her skilled hands reaching up to cup her cheek, her perfect, soft body scooting closer to mold itself against Jane's. She felt desperation in the kiss. Fear. Exhaustion. Everything at once.

When they broke apart, Maura wrapped her arms around her wife in a desperate hug, almost crawling inside the detective. "God, I'm so worried about Riley," Maura whispered with tears in her voice. "What if this really is too much?"

"She's strong, Maur," Jane replied quietly.

Maura nodded her head in the crook of Jane's neck. "I know." Maura sighed deeply and tightened her hold on her detective. "She needs more therapy sessions. Her panic attacks are getting stronger and more frequent."

"Hm." Jane nodded slowly.

"If she goes to see Dr. Holden more often, she might learn how to deal with her fears and stress," Maura continued, her voice soft and professional, as if she was talking to her staff at work. "Finding out about her age caused her a lot of underlying stress, and I'm afraid today has just made everything too much."

"Yeah." Jane wrapped her arms tighter around Maura's upper body. "Can we call her therapist to ask for more sessions? Like, every week? Twice a week?"

"Yes." Maura nodded and pulled back to look at her wife. "Once a week will be a good start, I think."

"Okay." Jane sighed and averted her gaze, unsure of what to say. There was nothing to say. She was exhausted and she knew Maura was too. "Should we go to bed?" she whispered, her voice defeated and soft. "I'm beat."

"Yes, please." Maura took Jane's hand and led her upstairs where they quickly finished their nightly routine, too tired to properly wash off make-up or find pajamas. Jane threw on an old T-shirt and moved the blankets for her wife to join her.

Maura sighed deeply as she slid in next to her wife, turning around so Jane could spoon her from behind, smiling a tired smile when the brunette pressed kisses on her neck. "I love you, Maur," Jane whispered as her arms wrapped around Maura's soft waist and chest.

"I love you too," Maura whispered back, her voice laced with exhaustion. "Thank you for keeping us safe."

"You're welcome." Jane smirked in the dark, closing her eyes at the lovely feeling of her wife in her arms. "That's what I'm for, right?"

"Yes," Maura replied quietly, "but you're so much more."

Jane only hummed, feeling her cheeks blushing. "No one calms her down like you do."

"That's true." Maura nodded, threading her fingers with Jane's around her waist. "But no one makes her feel as safe as you do."

"Guess we make a pretty good team, huh?"

Maura chuckled. "We do."

Jane suppressed a yawn and nuzzled her face into her wife's neck. "Night, Maur. I love you."

"Sleep well, my love," Maura whispered softly. "I love you too."

Surprisingly, it wasn't Riley who came crawling into their bed in the middle of the night. Jane felt a pair of cold feet against her leg and messy curls tickling her chin. She opened her eyes, squinting at the headache that seemed to bruise her head behind her eyes. "Hi, baby," she mumbled at Lizzie. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared, Mama," Lizzie whispered, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

"What are you scared of?"

Lizzie shrugged. "The bad lady."

"The bad lady is gone, honey," Jane whispered, pulling the blankets tighter around her youngest daughter. "She can't get out. You're safe."

"What about Riley?"

Jane smiled a sad smile at Lizzie's concern for her sister. "She's safe too. I promise. All the doors are locked very tightly, the bad lady is in prison and no one is going to hurt us."

Lizzie nodded but Jane saw her desperately trying to hold back her tears. "Why did the lady want Noah, Mama?"

Jane sighed. "She's gave birth to him," she whispered quietly, careful not to wake her wife. "But she didn't want him, so we became his parents. And now she said she wanted him back."

"But she's not Noah's Mommy," Lizzie whispered back. "She can't have him, right?"

Jane shook her head. "No, she can't. He's ours."

"Me too?" Lizzie asked, looking up at her mother in the dark, her eyes big and shimmering with tears. "Am I you and Mommy's too?"

"Yes, baby." Jane brushed her daughter's hair back and stroked her cheek.

"So… Is my first Mommy then not my Mommy anymore?"

Jane sighed deeply and furrowed her brow. She wished Maura were awake. She was so good at this. But she wouldn't wake her. "It's complicated, honey. Your first Mommy died, and then we became your mommies. So, in a way, you have three mommies."

Lizzie averted her gaze, lost in thought. "Just… One Mommy up in the sky. And two here."

"Exactly, something like that." Jane kissed her girl's forehead and wrapped her up in her arms. "You have three mommies that love you very much."

Lizzie nodded against Jane's chest, snuggling in her arms to get warm. "Did Riley have a first Mommy too? Or was she with you forever?"

"No, Riley's first Mommy also died. We've only been her mommies for a few years."

"So… Noah's first mommy is the bad lady."

Jane sighed deeply and nodded. She wanted to sleep, but she knew she had to answer Lizzie's questions. "Yeah, she is."

"Is she gonna go up in the sky too?"

"No, baby. She's just in prison." Jane kissed the top of Lizzie's head.

Lizzie yawned and nuzzled herself into her mother's arms. "Okay."

Jane smiled. "Get some sleep, honey. Tomorrow's a new day."

Lizzie nodded, her eyes slowly closing. Jane kissed her forehead and pulled her close in her arms. "I love you, baby."

"Love you too, Mama," Lizzie mumbled as she put her thumb into her mouth. "Night."

It only took a few minutes for Lizzie to fall asleep, safely wrapped up in strong arms. Jane felt her wife snuggling into her back in her sleep and the detective fell asleep with a content smile on her face.

When she woke up, the bed was empty. She furrowed her brow and looked at her phone to see she had slept in way later than she had planned. It was a Sunday, so everyone would have a day off, but the house was quiet. She slid out of bed, stretched her muscles and put on a pair of sweatpants and a thin sweater. She tied her hair up in a ponytail, too lazy to shower that morning.

Noah's bedroom door was closed so he was probably still sleeping, something that was quite rare lately, so she decided to leave him for now. Walking down the hall, she heard soft whispers coming from Riley's bedroom.

Maura was sitting on the edge of Riley's bed, her hand making soft strokes on the girl's cheek and forehead as Riley just stared into the distance, her eyes empty. "What's going on?" Jane asked, carefully stepping into the room.

Maura sighed deeply but didn't avert her gaze from her daughter. "I'm not sure."

"Is she sick?"

"No, I don't think she is."

"Riley." Jane kneeled in front of Riley's bed to look at her daughter, but Riley just kept staring at nothing. "What's going on, baby?"

"She won't get out of bed, she won't talk…" Maura's voice was laced with concern and tears.

Jane looked at her wife and saw hazel eyes filled with pain. Maura shook her head. "I've tried everything," she whispered.

"Have you been strict with her?" Jane asked, knowing how hard that was for Maura.

Maura sighed. She hadn't. Jane looked at Riley and gently caressed her cheek. "C'mon, get up, honey."

Riley didn't reply.

"You're not going to lie in bed all day. That's not going to make anything better, it'll only make things worse. I know things are difficult and overwhelming but I won't allow you to just lie in bed all day. So you're gonna get up, eat breakfast and start the day." Jane's voice was strict but soft, but Riley still didn't reply.

Maura sighed and straightened her back. "Riley Rizzoli-Isles, look at me."

The strict voice of her mother startled Riley and she finally looked at the blonde on the edge of the bed. Maura didn't smile like she usually did. "I'm not letting this happen, okay? I love you too much for that. You are going to get out of bed right now and take a shower. Right now."

Suddenly tears welled up in Riley's eyes and Jane sighed in relief. A sign of emotion. That was good, she thought. Riley slowly nodded and sat up, climbing out of her bed at the opposite side of her mother. She didn't speak or look at them as she grabbed a towel, some underwear and a sweater and walked into the bathroom.

Jane closed her eyes. "Wow."

"Was that the right thing to do? Was-… Was that what we were supposed to do?" Maura shook her head as she stood up from the bed, fumbling with her hands. "Should we have acted differently?"

"Maur," Jane stood up and took her wife's hands. "Calm down, okay? We did what we could. We got her out of bed, right?"

"Yes, but look at how we did it!"

"Tough love." Jane shrugged and wiped a tear off Maura's cheek. "Maybe she needs that too every now and then."

Maura closed her eyes. She stepped forward and hid herself into Jane's arms. "I don't know, Jane."

Jane sighed deeply, tightening her arms around the blonde. She didn't know either. She wouldn't let Riley slip into a depression. But she was afraid they scared her off.

Noah's urgent cries pulled them out of their thoughts. Maura kissed Jane's shoulder and untangled herself from her wife. "I'll get him."

Jane watched Maura leave Riley's bedroom before she turned her attention towards the closed bathroom door. She didn't hear anything unusual and decided to leave her daughter alone for now. Back in the hallway, she heard Maura lovingly talking to their son, eliciting a sweet smile from the brunette. "Maur? Where's Lizzie?"

"Downstairs, watching TV."

Jane nodded and headed downstairs, smiling when she saw Lizzie lying on the couch, one of her short arms falling off the couch as she stared at the cartoon on the television screen. "Morning, baby."

Lizzie lifted her head to look at her mother. "Morning, Mama."

"Did you have a good sleep in your mommies' bed?" Jane asked as she sat down on the couch and took Lizzie's legs into her lap, gently rubbing her cold bare feet to try and get them warmer.

Lizzie nodded while she turned her attention back to the TV. "Yeah."

"Why didn't you put on socks, Liz? Your feet are freezing!"

Lizzie shrugged. "Not anymore."

"Oh you'd rather have me warm them up, huh?" Jane chuckled, continuing to rub her daughter's feet.

"Yep." Lizzie nodded. She sat up and crawled into Jane's lap, tucking her feet under herself as she snuggled in her mother's warm arms. "Is Riley sick?"

Jane sighed. "She's not feeling well."

"Is it 'cause of the bad lady?"

"I think so, yeah." She kissed the top of Lizzie's head. "But it's nothing bad. She'll be fine. I think."

"You gotta give her kisses, Mama," Lizzie said with her thumb in her mouth. "Makes it better."

Jane smiled a loving smile. "Yeah. I'll try that."

And she did. Riley came downstairs, wearing a pair of red plaid pajama pants and a tight fitting sweater, her wet hair tied up in a messy bun. Jane smiled at her beautiful daughter and pulled Lizzie off her lap to walk towards Riley. "Hi, baby," she said softly. She cupped her daughter's cheek and gently kissed her forehead. Riley allowed it. Jane sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around the short girl. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

Riley didn't reply.

"Please, baby," Jane whispered, her voice suddenly thick with tears. She wanted to be tough and strong, but she failed. She hated to see her daughter like this. She was always the person to help the ones she loved and it killed her that she couldn't. Riley's feelings were raging through her, breaking her, confusing her. And there was nothing Jane could do. It was her job to protect her children, but she couldn't protect Riley from the things inside of herself. The nightmares. The fears. The memories. "Please just tell me what you're feeling. I want to help you so bad."

"Badly." Maura smiled as she came downstairs, carrying a wide-awake nine-month old on her hip. She put him down on the rug in the living room, handing him a few toys as Noah immediately started crawling around. "Please get your pens off the floor, Lizzie. I told you Noah will put them in his mouth."

Lizzie did as asked, clearing away her coloring supplies as Maura walked back to Jane and Riley behind the couch. Jane could tell she was trying to keep up her tough-love act, but she knew one look at the aching teenager in Jane's arms would turn her back into the sweet mother she was. "Oh, Riley." Maura dropped her shoulders and sighed deeply as she kissed Riley's temple. "Are you in physical pain?"

Riley shrugged. A reply, finally.

"Is it fear? Memories? Nightmares?" Maura furrowed her brow, keeping her loving strokes on Riley's back. It was a guessing game and neither women liked it, but it was the only way to get Riley to respond.

She nodded. "It's everything," she whispered, her voice hoarse and pained. She hid her face into Jane's shoulder, her hands clutching Jane's sweater on her chest. "My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I feel like I can't breathe sometimes and the whole world is spinning."

Maura nodded and Jane pulled Riley closer into the embrace. "You were traumatized."

"Yeah, but I've been traumatized lots of times and it was never like this!"

"Maybe you just need a little time, honey. It's only been a day." Maura caressed Riley's cheek with the back of her hand.

"How about you go meditate with your Mom for a while?" Jane whispered, resting her cheek against Riley's temple as she looked into Maura's eyes. "That helped a few times before, right?"

Riley nodded. "Yeah."

"Is that a good idea?" Jane asked, looking back and forth from her daughter to her wife. "Maybe?"

Maura smiled a loving smile. "I think it's a great idea. Riley?"

Riley just nodded. She allowed Maura to kiss her temple and showed a sad smile.

"Go. I'll bring you some breakfast later." Jane let go of Riley and rubbed her upper arms.

"Noah hasn't eaten yet," Maura said as she took Riley's hand.

"I'm on it." Jane nodded and headed towards her happily playing son, smiling when she watched him chewing on one of his Sesame Street toys. "Looks like he's hungry, trying to eat Elmo!"

Lizzie giggled and Jane was happy to see a small smile curling Riley's lips before she followed her mother into the yoga room. "Alright, buddy. Let's go fix you something to eat before Elmo misses an ear." Jane chuckled as she picked Noah up in her arms, eliciting a sweet grin from the boy. "Liz, pancakes of waffles?"

"Both!"

"No way, Jose. Pick one."

Lizzie pursed her lips and followed her mother into the kitchen. "Waffles then."

"Alright. Waffles for Lizzie, fruit mush for Noah coming right up."

A/N Thank you all so much for your kind reviews! I think I found a new flow of inspiration with this new, somewhat crazy storyline. I hope to update more frequently, but I can't promise anything because of school.

I can't tell you how much it means to me that you are reading this story that is so very close to my heart, about a character that is a part of me. Riley is a very important character to me. She means a lot. Thank you so, so much. Please let me know what you think, as always suggestions are welcome!