Sorry, I haven't updated this for so long but cometh the New Year, cometh the next chapter. This is the one where things will start to become clearer so hopefully you will like it. Please leave a review if you have a few seconds to spare (I really do like to hear what people think) and enjoy...

13. Missed Communications

John-Paul shifted uneasily on the bench and because he couldn't stand the silence anymore said,

"Sooo," just as Craig, with a small nod of his head, looked directly at him and began….

"I knew" he said quietly.

"What?" John-Paul asked, who hadn't caught what he'd said.

"I knew," Craig repeated, more firmly, "as soon as I'd calmed down and then sobered up after Christmas. I knew I'd made a mistake getting on that bus."

"But Craig," John-Paul objected, interrupting, "when I spoke to you on the phone after, you didn't say anything."

"I know, I know."

"In fact, it seemed like you couldn't get me, us, out of your life fast enough."

"Well I wasn't exactly sober when we had that conversation, Craig replied, "and I was stupid, and angry, and hurt. John-Paul you didn't trust me, after everything!" he said, and John-Paul could hear the hurt that still remained about that. "And," he continued, "I was too stubborn, and pig-headed and proud, I know that, and stupid…and hopeful. Stupidly hopeful," he finished, quietly.

"What does that mean?" John-Paul asked.

"I thought you'd come back, that you'd come home, back to me."

"What? You think I'd have left Matthew?"

"No, of course not," Craig answered, sounding genuinely shocked at the suggestion. "I knew you.."

"But you made it perfectly clear that you didn't want anything to do with him when I spoke to you," John Paul stated, speaking over him

"Yes, but like I said I was hurt and angry and half-cut when we had that conversation – I didn't really know what I was saying, and you know I was never really sure about us having a baby."

"Yes, I do," John-Paul said, "so how would it have worked if I had come back, eh? You not wanting Matthew, resenting him, and me. You'd have ended up hating me, and things were bad enough without that."

"I could never hate you," Craig stated simply, "and I didn't say I didn't want Matthew, I said I wasn't sure about us having a baby. Once he was here and" he added, trying to pre-empt the objection he knew would come about 'that' phone call, "I'd had a bit of time to think about everything, quite a bit of time," he admitted, "I knew that it would be OK. That we'd be OK."

"And you didn't think to tell me this?"

"Yes, of course I did," Craig answered, "but like I said, it took some time for me to realise. And before I thought about it, after I realised that you weren't coming back there was a bit of time when things went a bit…awry - you know, working too hard, partying too late. You know, to forget, or to try to at least. And then by the time I had realised it, it seemed like I was too late because I did try to get in touch but you'd changed your mobile number, my emails kept bouncing back as undeliverable and either you weren't on Facebook anymore, or you'd blocked me ."

"Oh yes," John-Paul said, "I closed my account when I started at the school. Social media and teaching don't really go together – especially not with my mother posting baby photos on there every five minutes. It just wasn't worth the hassle."

"No, I suppose not," Craig said, smiling slightly. "I even risked the wrath of the Rottweiler's and phoned you at home but all I got was that annoying woman saying 'The number you have dialled has not been recognised, please try again.' So, in the end, and with a bit of encouragement, I went old school and wrote to you. And I was half expecting you to return them unopened."

"Them?"

"Yep, but you didn't, but you didn't answer them either and so I assumed that was your answer. And from what mum told me it seemed like you were getting on with your life and so it didn't seem fair to… I don't know… I mean, I figured I'd already hurt you enough and," he trailed away before continuing. "I kept writing to you though, I'm not sure why. I suppose it was my way of keeping a connection with you."

"What, so you've been writing to me for all this time?" John-Paul asked disbelievingly.

"Yes," Craig answered, sounding puzzled, "about once a month normally. But more recently -sometimes once even twice a week when I was away," he finished. Then he looked at the incomprehension on John-Paul's face and suddenly the penny dropped. "Oh, you didn't get them did you?"

"No," John-Paul said, "no, I didn't."

"Well I'm not making it up, I promise!" Craig said quickly.

"No, no I don't think that." John-Paul said slowly shaking his head, before continuing, "my bloody mother must have been interfering."

"So you didn't get the presents either then?" Craig asked.

"Presents?"

"Yeah, Christmas and birthdays. I mean the first ones were late, really late and after that they were quite small for ease of postage, but I sent one every year for you and Matthew. I kept up the tradition for Christmas, well only really sort of for Matthew, but definitely for you."

"What? Tradition?" John-Paul asked, before he remembered. "Oh, the Christmas decorations!"

"Yeah, I mean it wasn't the same for Matthew – I always got him nice ones. And for the last couple of years yours have been smaller, but yes every year."

"No, no we didn't get them." John-Paul answered, feeling himself growing angrier by the second at what his mum must have done. "I'm going to kill her!"

"Hey, hey calm down," Craig said. "I'm sure she kept them from you for a good reason. Like I said mum had told me how you were getting on with your life, maybe she just didn't want me raking up the past again."

"Yes, but that wasn't her decision to make was it?" John-Paul said angrily. "She had no right!"

"No, but may…"

"But nothing!" John-Paul exclaimed before, realising that it wasn't Craig's fault, continuing with a slight shake of his head, "Sorry, sorry."

"Hey, it's OK," Craig replied, "I of all people know how infuriating mums can be," he finished, and was relieved to see John-Paul's face relax and even a very small smile appear.

"Yes, but I will be having words when she gets back," he promised, before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, well just let her explain her side, please," Craig said. "The last thing I want to do is cause a rift between you and Myra. I'm almost sorry I mentioned it, them now."

"Don't be stupid," John-Paul said, "it's nice to know you were thinking of me, of us."

"Course I was. I always ask about you and Matthew when I speak to mum."

"Really?"

"Yes, and I got her to send photos of Matthew as well. You were always in here" he said, tapping his forehead, "and here," touching his chest, "just like before. What," he continued, noticing the expression on John-Paul's face, "you don't believe me?"

"Well it'd be easier if it wasn't quite so obvious that you'd moved on so completely and so quickly with this Cassie girl," John-Paul answered, bitterness creeping into his tone.

"Oh," Craig said, "right. Well, that's the thing."

"What thing?" John-Paul snapped, glaring at Craig for a few moments before breaking the contact by taking another sip of coffee.

"Well, I think you've got the wrong ide..." Craig began, before shaking his head and waiting for John-Paul to look up at him again he continued. "I don't know what you think you know about me and Cass, but I do know that if it's what Chloe told you at least half of it won't be the truth."