Thanks a lot for the four reviewers to last week's chapter. As you can see, I'm updating a day earlier and, if you're nice, I'm seriously thinking this week I could update tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday too, because I'm on vacation for the time being . This week's shout out goes to Susan, Mila and Jake Love this chapter!

Chapter 14: Forgotten past.

They kept seeing photographs for a long time, all of them too entertained, even Jesse and Aubrey. It was fun to discover things about someone that was more like a ghost not three months ago. They were now reaching to photographs of teenager Beca, and the more recent the photographs were, the less quantity of them there was and more like actual Beca she looked like, although she was herself pretty much with twelve years old. They were just seeing a photo of Beca with some friend -or something else, because Ruth had just told them that was the girl Jordan swore he had seen Beca kissing- in which Beca was playing the guitar at their house with this girl sitting next to her on Beca's bed with Beca's cousin Laura sitting next to them too.

"I know this." Beca pointed to a corner of the photo of her old room, where a teddy bear was sitting on top of a drawer "I've dreamed with it."

"Oh yeah, that's Mr. Buggings, your granny Jude gave it to you when you were born. In fact I think I have it in my handbag, let me see." Ruth disappeared for a moment and came back a bit later with an old teddy bear that she smiling gave to Beca, who also smiled taking it.

"Yeah." Beca held Mr. Buggings in front of her. He sounded familiar, felt familiar, and her hands seemed to recognize him "I know you."

The day passed by quickly, and soon it was time to go to bed. They had all had dinner and said their good nights, and Chloe got into the shower the minute Beca and she stepped into their bedroom, since they had the en suite bathroom. In the meantime, Beca dressed with her pajamas and got comfortable in bed, sitting up against a bunch of pillows taking one of the big albums her mom had given her, and putting Mr. Buggings in the bedside table. She opened this album, which was one of her family, from her to cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, great-grandparents, granduncles, grandaunts, great-granduncles, great-grandaunts, and even their parents and siblings, nephews, nieces, sons and daughters. Generations and generations of Mitchells and Fannigans that Ruth had done the work to find and write down who they were so Beca knew, including their approximated dates of birth and death so Beca also knew if there was a chance she knew them. And a great part of them, Beca knew she should know them, she probably did, but her memory was blank. It was like the only things that existed prior to 2016 were bites, fragments of a movie that it was supposed to be her past. She saw she had friends from high school, and people in and out of her family she was probably really close to and had told her deep, private stuff, and she had told them those too, and still she couldn't remember a thing about any of that, which frustrated, saddened and pissed her off incredibly.

And just like that, suddenly she found herself so upset, she was crying. She pushed the album towards the feet of the bed, and covered her face with her hands as she cried, bringing her knees to her chest and hugging them as she cried onto her lap. She cried of desperation for the memories that didn't come and probably would never come, for the life she had lost, for the ones that had lost her, for the past that wasn't under her control not even to remember it, she cried of frustration, despair, and she even cried just from angriness. However, soon Chloe was out of the bathroom wrapped in her bathrobe, hair still wet, and sitting beside Beca, hugging her tightly to her chest and kissing her wherever she could.

Chloe only had to see the album to put two and two together.

"It's okay bug, nobody said you would never remember, it's just going to take a bit of time and lots of patience." Chloe pressed her lips against her hair hugging her closely "One day we'll laugh about all of this shit." She added with a hint of joke hugging Beca tighter.

It took some time, but after a while, Beca was finally calmer and slowly drifting back to sleep. Chloe pulled apart and kissed her cheek, leaning the sleepy girl back against the pillows.

"I'll be back in a second, I'm gonna get my pajamas on." Chloe whispered stroking her face, and Beca hummed while nodding a little, getting comfier under the duvet. Chloe got up, took the album, and left it on top of their chest of drawers, before opening one and pulling out a pajama to wear. Once she was changed, she moved back to the bed, and lied beside Beca, who moved to accommodate her face against Chloe's chest and put an arm around her waist, while Chloe pressed her lips against her forehead and put an arm around her, snuggling against her before soon falling asleep.

Beca got up in the morning with a throbbing headache and grunted sitting up. The room was spinning a little so she looked for Chloe, and saw her sleeping peacefully. It was still early and crazy cold, so she put a housecoat and slippers on and walked as silently as she could supporting on the walls and downstairs, towards the kitchen. She sighed pouring herself a glass of water and taking a couple pills into her mouth with it, before sitting on a stool leaning over the kitchen table to close her eyes for a bit over her crossed arms. The headaches were getting more upsetting and frequent, and that worried her a little, but when she had her revision a month ago the doctor said she was perfectly fine and she didn't want to be a paranoid.

"Morning!" Ruth greeted excitedly entering the kitchen "Are you gonna fall asleep again before eating some breakfast?" she joked rubbing Beca's back and pressing a kiss against her cheek. Beca smiled sitting straight "Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, why?" Beca replied drinking from her glass of water.

"You look pale darling." Ruth frowned in concern "Mm… nothing bagels can't fix! I'm on it!" Beca smiled and watched her mother prepare breakfast until Chloe came downstairs, already dressed, like she liked to do when she knew they weren't going to be alone. In a normal day and if the heating was on, Beca was used to seeing Chloe walk in wearing panties and a t-shirt.

"Good morning." Chloe sang cheerfully hugging Beca from behind and kissing her on the lips "Are you gonna be that bad of a host letting our guest cook for you?" Chloe joked rummaging her hands through Beca's skull.

"I was uninspired to cook?" Beca tried with her best smirk. Ruth laughed and shook her head.

"It's okay, you have to try my bagels, they're the best thing in the world, really." Ruth commented.

"Alright, I'm gonna go change, I have therapy after breakfast, so I better get ready." Beca stood up feeling much better, kissed Chloe, and went upstairs.

After breakfast, Beca went to therapy as promised. She talked out with her therapist about the same things that had worried her the night before, so they took a long time to talk things out. She was using public transport, since it was better for her not to drive, and now she was walking towards the bus stop to go back home, her hands in her pockets as she walked through the snowy streets, trying to keep the little warm she had left and not die frozen. Chloe joked a lot with Frozen -starting with that time Chloe knocked against the bathroom door while Beca was emptying her bowels and sang like a kid if Beca wanted to build a snowman- but Beca didn't actually want to be Olaf.

It was then that she heard a loud noise, like an explosion, and then she saw traffic stuck. Suddenly, she didn't know what was going on with her but she felt a rush of adrenaline and next thing she knew, she was running like crazy, faster than she remembered ever running. She turned the corner, and saw it. A big truck had slid with the snow, skid in a curve, and crashed with its side against the front of a car, that had consequently crashed against the car behind it. Even worse; the truck was one of those gasoline trucks and it was leaking gasoline now. The disaster was such three avenues were paralyzed and people were just staring in shock, although Beca could already hear sirens. They wouldn't be fast enough, Beca knew, so she reacted fast.

"RUN! I'M A SOLDIER, EVERYBODY LEAVE YOUR CARS AND GET AS FAR AWAY AS YOU CAN!" Beca growled yelling as high as she had never yelled. She knew the explosion that could result if that exploded would be huge. She ran to the people, pushing them to move, seeing with satisfaction that they were obeying. She got people out of cars so fast she couldn't even believe herself. She even ran to shops and locals that were near and got everybody out of them. Then her eyes widened as she saw the gasoline extent under the cars, the whole corner smelled like gasoline now, and the truck driver was unconscious, a car was smashed between the truck and another car, and both drivers of the cars seemed knocked out too. The rest around them had vanished. Beca ran and jumped to reach the truck, that had fallen on its side. She climber over it and opened the driver's door. There was a man in his fifties there and she knew it was wrong to move him, that she could kill him, but leaving him there would definitely kill him. She had already seen one of the cars was starting to let dark smoke out, which meant burning, and that and gasoline was bad idea "Sir! Sir! Wake up sir, we have to go!" Beca tried to wake him up. Firefighters had arrived by now and approached Beca.

"Lady, get out of there! This situation is extremely dangerous!"

"I'm an US Army Sergeant, sir!" Beca yelled back "Come on, help me get this man out of here before this all explodes!" With the firefighters, they got to kick everybody out of the cars. A fire had already started in one of the gasoline rivers, but any explosions yet. Beca was pulling a scared kid out of a car while the firefighters dealt with her parents, and they were now running to a safe spot, the whole surroundings had been cordoned-off by police, and everyone was trying to be put in a safe spot. Then, Beca heard the distinct sound of car burning, and soon, there was a huge explosion.

"Beca's late." It was lunch time and Chloe was calling Beca for the fourth time already as Ruth, Jesse, Aubrey and Chloe herself waited sitting by their table at their house for the brunette "And she isn't picking up. Come on Bec…" Chloe dialed again.

"Holly shit!" Jesse pointed to the TV, that they had on at a low volume, and turned the volume up "Look at that explosion!"

"What the hell?" Ruth's eyes widened "That's a lot of deaths!"

"No, it says they got to evacuate everybody. A gasoline truck skid with the snow in a curve and crashed against a car that did domino effect backwards." Jesse explained getting closer to the TV to hear better and read all the things that were appearing onscreen. Chloe and Aubrey also approached "It happened half an hour ago."

"Wait a second…" Chloe started "That's like a block away from where Beca's therapy takes place."

"Oh God." Aubrey looked at Chloe "PTSD at least. We have to find her."

"No need." Beca had just entered the house. Chloe automatically ran towards her and jumped hugging her tightly "Chlo babe! You're gonna kill me!" Beca smiled hugging her back.

"Oh my God, for one second I thought…" Chloe pulled apart and looked at her thoroughly "You're okay!"

"Of course I am." Beca smiled confidently.

"So you didn't see?" Ruth asked as Beca and Chloe entered the living room, and Beca nodded turning the TV off. She could not see that twice.

"Yes I saw." Beca said "In fact I was there, right around the corner, when the crash happened. I heard the commotion and… I have no idea what came over me, I guess military instincts or whatever, but I ran over there without blinking. When I stopped to think I was evacuating the place and getting people out of cars." Beca explained sitting by the table. They all sat on their chairs too "The emergency people took too long to come because the traffic was a mess, of course, but the firefighters came when I was pulling the truck's driver out of the car. They tried to kick me out so I lied and told them I was in the Army, and they let me help get the few that were still trapped. Everybody got evacuated but I don't know how bad the wounded must be after we moved them, even though we were really careful but still…" Beca shrugged "A cop drove me here when traffic cleared a little, after they made sure I wasn't wounded. I got to hide inside of an empty local like two seconds before it exploded, with a kid I was carrying. She's fine too, just scared."

"Wow." Chloe looked at her concerned "Are you okay though?"

"Yeah, not even a scratch." Beca nodded "Firefighters came to find me and the girl after the explosion, since I had no idea when it was safe to come out, but we were fine."

"No PTSD?" Aubrey asked concerned too.

"Well, there was, but I'm fine now." Beca said, and seeing how she was looking back at her, she felt she had to elaborate "When I heard the explosion, I was drawn back to the one that I lived in the battlefield. And I remembered it, all of it. I was hidden behind some barricades with other people, soldiers, and a truck of our own passed close by, put a wheel on a land-mine, and blew away, and we blew away too. Next thing I remember, I was waking up in some kind of dark place where the Pakistani had us. There were at least a couple soldiers more with me, but I guess they died, I should probably call the Pentagon and let them know, in case they find the people who kidnapped me, the others could still be alive. You guys start eating, I'll be back in short." Beca made the call quickly, and soon she was back to have lunch.

Later, they went to play some video games. Chloe had a play station back at her house in Denver that they had brought with them, and now Ruth had already beaten Aubrey and Chloe -Beca wasn't allowed to play with her brain still a bit bad, but she was happy watching enjoying her 'old' mother beat everyone- and was now against Jesse, the two playing frenetically. Beca felt thirsty, so she went for a glass of water to the kitchen. She suddenly stopped, grabbing the door's frame, when the room started spinning around her.

"What the…" she whispered, but then, everything went black.

"Beca!" Chloe yelled and everybody looked to the kitchen. Beca was lying on the floor, convulsing and having spasms, and Chloe ran towards her "Beca!" she yelled kneeling beside her and trying to look at her face. Her eyes were barely opened and the bit she could see was white, she had foam in her mouth, and she was doing a sound like grunting or something. Chloe panicked, but Aubrey had already ran towards them and knelt beside Chloe. Jesse and Ruth stood close to them.

"Jesse, call 911" Aubrey instructed calmly "She's having an epileptic attack, it's going to be fine." Aubrey calmed them "Let's move her into a recovering position." With that, she moved Beca to her side and used her hands to keep her there "Chloe, can you protect her head please? She already hit it with the floor?" Chloe nodded and carefully held Beca's head, moving to support it on her lap. Aubrey, in the meantime, was counting the duration with her watch and also checked Beca's pulse with a couple fingers against her neck, and Jesse called Emergency.

"What can I do?" Ruth asked and Aubrey smiled calmly at her and shook her head.

"Nothing." Aubrey replied "Now we wait until the EMTs arrive or the seizures pass, whichever happens first." She looked at Chloe, who was keeping tears at bay, and lovingly holding Beca's head, stroking her face with one hand "Don't worry Chlo, whatever originated this at least is gonna get thoroughly looked through. Whatever's wrong, it won't hide anymore and it will be cured." Chloe nodded slowly, still looking down.

It took a couple long minutes, but finally the seizures and weird noises stopped and Beca laid still. Her eyes were now closed and her mouth was slightly opened, but without foam, and her breathing was slow but deep.

"Beca?" Chloe asked stroking her cheek. After a few seconds, Beca's eyes opened a bit and Chloe smiled "Hey."

"How are you feeling, Beca?" Aubrey asked smiling kindly at her. Beca coughed a bit and then breathed out deeply, closing her eyes.

"Treeed." Beca dragged her words in a barely audible voice.

"Tired?" Aubrey asked and Beca nodded a little "Alright, you rest. The paramedics are on their way." Aubrey moved Beca to lay her on her back and Beca just closed her eyes with her head on Chloe's lap. Aubrey took one of Beca's hands and squeezed it gently. Soon, the paramedics arrived and they stepped back. Aubrey informed them Beca had had a concussion after an explosion and gave them all the basic info, and a paramedic took over holding Beca's head, and with other paramedics they put Beca on a stretcher, before putting her into the ambulance. Chloe was allowed to go with them "We'll be there soon." Aubrey assured Chloe, who gave her the house's keys.

"I'll see you later." Chloe assured, and climbed onto the wheelchair.

She was hungry. Her stomach kept reminding her that she was hungry, sounding like if she had a growling dog inside. She walked through the dessert numb, and her uniform made her feel so hot in the middle of the day, it was incredibly warm. She removed her helmet, and passed a hand through her sweaty hair.

"Mitchell, put that back on. You won't like to suffer brain damage." Her superior, a Sergeant, told her passing beside her. Beca nodded and put the helmet back on.

Now they were shooting. Beca didn't know how it all started, one moment they were just walking, the next they had been ambushed, and she was shooting people, and they were bleeding, dying. She tried to shoot to the limbs and not to kill them, but they were trying to kill them, so what could she do?

Now, she was in the infirmary. She had been shot on a leg, but fortunately it had barely touched her, only that the bullet was so dirty it had caused her an infection, and she was feverish. She looked down at her sweaty underwear. Why did she even become a soldier? Oh, right. She was starving and homeless.

It seemed like years had gone back. She was almost nineteen now. She was counting the days for her birthday, although she didn't know why, if she had been out in the streets for a year now and she knew she wasn't getting any presents. Like when she turned eighteen.

"Ms. Carton." Beca heard herself whisper hoarsely. Despite being summer in San Diego, at night it wasn't as warm. She felt cold, dirty, sweaty, like always. She had been running a bit of a fever for a few days, but the woman that slept beside her, the old Ms. Carton, had taken care of her. There in that dark alley that scared her so much the first few times, she was better treated like family than in home. Unless she had something the others could want, like money or better clothes, which wasn't happening anymore "Ms. Carton." She repeated, this time reaching a hand towards the lady. Ms. Carton had been in the streets for seven years, and they met a few months after Beca ran out. When she heard that just a few weeks earlier it had been Beca's 18 birthday, she had managed to get a muffin for Beca, and they had shared it between laughs and stories about their lives. Ms. Carton was a good woman. "Ms. Carton." She started getting angry that the woman was ignoring her. Beca could use some snuggling, even if the woman smelled bad and Beca smelled bad too, but she reminded her of granny Jude for her kindness. Beca stood up and leaned over the woman, that was snuggled inside of her old dirty coat that was still so soft. Beca shook her once. Twice. Several times. With energy "Ms. Carton? Ms. Carton!" Beca shook her harder, but the woman didn't move. Beca pulled her hair away from her old face, and her own breath caught. The woman was white as a sheet. Beca pressed two trembling fingers against her throat, and found nothing. She felt dizzy. She couldn't breathe. She felt tears in her eyes and her heart in her throat "No. No… You can't die too. You can't leave me. Ms. Carton! Ms. Carton!"

"Girl!" a man that was close by looked at the old lady with sadness. He was also homeless and habitual there "She's dead! Ms. Carton died! Let her go, girl." Beca stepped back and looked at the man with tears in her eyes, her lip trembling. What was she going to do? Ms. Carton had taken care of her for the past year, what was she going to do? She ran. She started running without looking back, crying.

"Your father? You call that bastard your father?" she was fourteen. Her mother was drunk and drugged again, and had just slapped and laughed at her when Beca asked if her father was coming home for dinner that day. She hadn't seen him in days "He cheated on us, Rebeca! Wake up, he never loved us! He has a hotter girlfriend, and a son! A baby, cuter and prettier than you! And now they will be happy. Pack your bags. We're going to San Francisco."

Moans. She heard moans and panting, and someone was taking a fist of the hair in the back of her head. She was sucking somebody's clit.

"Beca… oh, Beca, yes, yes…" a girl was moaning. Beca smirked against her minor lips and kissed her way back, her fingers pumping in and out of the girl quickly. Her lips found a tattoo and soon, a nipple, that she shucked. Then she went up and a girl was smirking at her. She was beautiful, brunette, green eyes, young. Beca wasted no time and kissed her hard on the lips, their mouths dancing quickly, having sex under the starts in the middle of the fields.

Beca woke up. The intense light and slight headache made her blink twice, but soon she saw herself lying on a hospital bed, the head of her bed elevated a bit, and a steady beep sounding every now and then, following her heart's rhythm.

"Hi." Light blue eyes grinned at her and Beca curved her lips into a tiny, tired smile.

"Hi." Beca replied, sounding hoarsely "How are you?"

"Good. You?"

"Good. Drugged a bit." Beca then drifted back to sleep. When she woke up again, not much had changed, except that now, the lights were fainter "Chloe?" she asked, feeling tired.

"Yes." Chloe came out of the bathroom and smiled looking at Beca. She sat on the very verge of Beca's bed and leaned to give her a peek on the lips "So you know who I am?"

"Of course." Beca frowned bewildered "You're my girl!" Chloe chuckled.

"Yes. Yes, I am your girl." Beca smiled foolishly, and Chloe smiled giving her another peek on the lips.

"What happened?" Beca asked dragging the words a little under the effects of the morphine.

"You had seizures three days ago." Chloe explained "We had to call an ambulance. They took you here, to the hospital, and made a few tests to see what had caused the seizures, and they found a blood clot in your brain, which required brain surgery. It all went home, but you've been asleep. Doctors said if you were sleeping much was because your brain needed the rest, so it's okay." Chloe stroke her face and Beca nodded slowly "Your mom just went to get us some coffee, and Aubrey and Jesse will be back soon, they went for some food."

"So I can have food and coffee? This must be heaven." Beca joked and Chloe shook her head with a chuckle.

"I should go tell your doctor that you woke up. He would like to see you." Chloe said pressing her lips against her forehead for a moment.

"You don't have to, we can keep this between you and me, nobody has to know." Beca joked.

"I'm afraid that wouldn't work missy. I'll be back in a minute." Chloe brought Beca's hand to her lips and smiled before leaving Beca and exiting the room.