I am so sorry that it has taken so long to update this story, life has been crazy and work has filled up a large amount of time.

Please Read and Review.

The winter season passed by quickly and all too soon, spring had arrived. The sakura orchards were just starting to bloom while all the spring flowers were in full bloom already. Jackie sighed as she hid away in the orchards, hoping that their smell would deter Sesshomaru from finding her too soon.

He had been ruthless all winter in training her in combat, but now that it was spring, he would start training her how to transform into her youkai form and Jackie was scared of this part of the training. Her youkai hadn't responded much to Sesshomaru ever since she had first arrived. Everything was healed, except that branded seal that caused her pain every time she tried to call to her beast and she feared what would happen if she managed to get her beast to answer. If it caused enough pain for her to lose her breath when she only tried to wake her beast, what would happen if she managed to transform. Sesshomaru didn't know about this small piece of information because Jackie hadn't thought it relevant to mention during the winter, but now it would bite her in the butt when he finally found where she was hiding.

She knew that she would be in trouble when she was finally found, but in that moment Jackie didn't feel enough in her to care. Her body screamed in agony each day after training with Sesshomaru, no matter how much he said that her body would become used to the vigorous training, but it all seemed irrelevant lately. She had been dreaming of child with black hair and blue eyes half of the winter...

No matter how much she thought of that child, she could not remember where she had seen him. Each time she had woken from these dreams, she would wake up crying and could not understand why. This child looked so familiar, but also looked like a complete stranger. Why did this child haunt her thoughts…?

"What reason do you hide away in the orchards when it is time for training?" His stoic voice came from behind her and she only cringed forward and wrapped her arms around herself as his question reminded her of the reason why she had been hiding.

"No reason," she muttered. Jackie was in a simple black tunic and white leggings, sitting against a tree trunk with her legs pulled up to her chest. Her fiery hair fell around her loosely as she tried to make herself as small as possible even though he had already found her. "These orchards will be very beautiful when in full bloom."

"You are hiding something from this Sesshomaru." She could hear the frown in his voice as he walked around so he stood in front of her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her to her feet, roughly. "Training does not stop, so why are you attempting to hide?"

"It will come back…" Jackie whimpered as she practically hung by her arm in his grip, her toes barely able to touch the ground as she kept her face hidden by her hair. "I don't want feel it again."

"Explain," he growled tightening his grip on her arm.

"Pain… such unbearable pain…" she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It hurts us both, my beast will not awaken willingly because of this. If she wakes, the pain returns…"

"Explain," he growled.

"That brand upon my body… Ungai's mark… it causes us pain each time there is even a hint of my beast stirring. If such pain happens just by attempting to awaken my phoenix, then how much pain will we endure if we succeed in waking and transforming?" Jackie looked up at the Western Lord as she hung from his grip sadly. "How much pain will you force upon me?"

"If you have known that pain occurs, why have you not spoken of this matter before," He growled as he let her go and she collapsed to the ground, unable to get her footing.

"What good would it do?" Jackie snapped as she got back to her feet and glared at him. "As far as you have known, any youkai who got branded like this, died! How can my situation be any different? Six months, Sesshomaru. Six months I have been branded and my youkai has not awoken except when she accepted you as alpha. Why has nothing changed if I am not dying? You might as well treat me like I am ninngen, because there is not much left of my youkai to distinguish me even as a hanyou."

"Stop saying that you will die," he growled suddenly and in seconds, Jackie was pinned against one of the trees and Sesshomaru's hand was across her throat, choking her, just like last time he had lost control of his beast when he had gotten mad at her when she first came. "Why do you constantly refuse to accept that you are healing? Even if it is so little each day that it is hard to tell that your beast is returning to strength, why? Why can you not accept us as your alpha, when your beast already has? What is so hard about wanting to live and fighting for it?"

"You do not know me well enough for my reasons, beast," Jackie snarled back at the red-eyed Sesshomaru. "You do not have a mark branded on your body that will not heal, that constantly hurts you if you so much think inside your cage. Besides, what do I have to live for? To be forever in your care, to watch your ward when you leave to patrol your lands? Some may like the sound of that, but I have no wish to live like that the rest of my life. My father was tortured and killed. My mother, my brother… both killed because I could not control my anger against Ungai for hurting my father. What honor is there in knowing you care for such a weak being? You wouldn't have taken me in if that sword hadn't come to me. Isn't the only reason I am here is because you're trying to figure out how I could control that sword, when your father couldn't even do that? Just like Ungai… only trying to figure me out."

"You try our patience," Sesshomaru snapped, his red-rimmed eyes narrowed as his teeth sharpened and lengthened slightly. "It does not matter how your family had been lost, you landed in our cares the moment you were able to delay that sword long enough for us to protect our ward, but too weak to fight it completely. The regret you held when you had come back to your own mind after you had destroyed that village…"

"Let's not forget that I didn't care about that village, only about revenge."

"You are young Jacqueline, you had been captured and tortured for much longer than any human raised youkai could have been able to take and you survived. Your want for revenge is understandable, but you have completed that and you are still not ready to fight to live. If you do not get your beast to reawaken, you will still die!" he growled.

"What do I have to live for, Sesshomaru?" Jackie was able to get out even though he had a firm grip on most of her airway. "The life I knew how to live is gone and I have been thrust into the world of youkai politics. That is not the way I know how to live."

"Then change," Sesshomaru spoke as the red faded from his eyes. He let her collapse to the ground for the second time and walked away without another word.

Jackie got to her feet when she was able to breathe normally and made her way to the cracked outer wall of the western palace and made her escape. Sesshomaru would have most likely gone to his study to work on his work to clear his mind so she would have time to get far away before anyone realized she was gone. As she ran, she could feel the straps for her blades on her thighs occasionally rub together as she ran as fast as she could. Sesshomaru could not understand if he just expected her to change to his way of life, but there was one place she remembered that had people who could understand.

Edo…