Chapter notes – Oh, I missed doing a Friday update this time. Fell asleep while editing. How embarrassing! But there you have it...
As mentioned previously, and a little after the fact - I realized upon opening this chapter to clean/edit for publishing, that Uncle Kentaro isn't going to make his appearance until chapter 15. Whoops! You can look forward to meeting him soon... This chapter is just a little bit of the boys trying to settle in at home. It's a relatively quick one. Poor Shu is exhausted after a full afternoon dealing with the aftermath of his successful release. It's a good thing he's going to get a break!
Read and review - It'll make me clean the chapters for publishing faster! It also makes me super warm inside to know that you care enough to jot a paragraph in response to these many pages...
If you're still enjoying this story, be sure to check out the beginning of the story -- Remix, The Beginning of the New Ending -- that is being published separately.
Eiri leaned over Shuichi where he was still firmly asleep, curled tightly around a pillow that was apparently his replacement when he was out of bed. A quiet Shuichi seemed to be a crime to disturb, something rare that should be preserved like a national treasure… but it needed doing so Eiri leaned in, kissing him gently to wake him just enough to pay attention. With a protesting whine and a stretch, Shuichi peeled his eyes open slightly.
"Hmm? Going?" He mumbled.
"Yes. I will be back in a little while."
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?"
"Yes. Everything will be fine. I've left the CD for Aiko on the table by the door."
"I'll wake up now and be ready to deliver it." He yawned.
"Good… It's important."
"I know." He finally opened his eyes fully, smiling, "You can depend on me."
"Yes… I know I can." He smiled slightly, "You're a good wife."
"Thanks." He sat up to kiss Eiri, "Be careful out there."
"As careful as I can be." His forehead pressed to Shu's, "Love you."
"Love you too." He watched Eiri leave the room, listening to his footfalls in the hall, door open, close… "You'll be okay." He hung his head, "But I am so tired…" He forced himself to get up and have breakfast, taking it to lean against the balcony wall and watching the city while he ate. The city watched him back, a few reporters below aiming their cameras up toward him if he leaned against the balcony railing.
"Eventually we will be old news. Not just our relationship. Eventually others will come along that will replace our fame. I wonder what we'll do then? Retire? Hmm… Growing old with Eiri. How funny that will be." He smiled and drank his cold coffee.
Aiko came by in an hour and he let her in, "Good morning, Shindou-san. How are you?"
"Very well, thank you, Narito-san. I have something for you, but Eiri is not here."
"Yes, he said as much in his email to me." She smiled brightly, clapping, "I can hardly wait to even hold this CD!"
"Really?" He mused and gave it to her, "Enjoy then!"
"Aaa… First part of a first draft of a master." She hugged it, "I love his work. This is like a dream."
"I should really read one of his books some day." He rubbed his head thoughtfully.
"It's so funny you haven't read any! Every fan has dreamed of being in your position."
He shrugged, "He's just another person with a job." He smiled, "I just love Eiri the person, not Eiri the job."
"Yes yes… So he explained from that last interview. I suppose that does make perfect sense really… but considering who both of you are, it is a little odd!"
"I probably would enjoy his writing. It's part of him after all… So what do you think I should read first?"
"I would suggest this most recent one if you really want an intensive experience. It's positively agonizing. I couldn't put it down." Her eyes were wide.
"Agonizing?? Painful??"
"Well, yes… He has a way of describing emotions with words that really gets inside of you."
He thought of the 'song' that Eiri had given him upon his return, remembering feeling the words inside of him. She was right. Shuichi wondered if all of his writing was the same.
"…And most of his endings are not happy ones. He has always said in interviews that he does not believe in love or permanence. There is such intensity of emotion in all of his writing, though. And such a calm exterior all the time! He is just fascinating…"
"Yes, he is." He smiled, "Maybe this new one will have a happy ending."
"Maybe! I hope so! I think I will pass out if I read one of his novels with a happy ending the way he could write it. I am so lucky…" She admired the CD.
"Me too!"
"Please don't tell him how much I was gushing here. I am a little embarrassed by being so unprofessional, but it is very easy to talk to you, Shindou-san."
"Thank you. I won't say a word. Promise."
"I am so happy he has found that there is love in the world after all..."
Shuichi nodded, "Would you like some tea?"
"I… shouldn't impose…"
The intercom buzzed then and Shuichi looked toward it, "You're not imposing. Excuse me." He went and answered. It was the front desk requesting access to the apartment for movers, "Movers??" A cold shock went down his back, bad feelings from the last time he had been left in an empty apartment.
"Uesugi-sama mentioned moving a flat bed to storage to make room?"
"Aaaa… Yes, I forgot." He exhaled heavily, "Please send them up."
"Yes, sir."
"Heh… I completely forgot. Too much excitement and too little sleep in me." He knocked on his head, "If you're not in a hurry…?"
"I would love to have a cup of tea with a star." She smiled again, "Your new song is beautiful too." She followed him into the kitchen.
"Thank you!"
"You both have that in common. A way of making people feel through your art. It made me proud and pleased to live here in busy Tokyo."
"Really? I wasn't thinking it might make people feel that way."
"Well, you sang like you were so happy about living here. It was all about the beauty even in the big city. Love for life here."
"Yeah… I love life here for a lot of reasons."
So he gave her tea while the movers came up and took away the bed that had been occupying the spare room that he called an office.
"This is where you make your music, where it is born." She mused.
"Uh huh…" He blinked at the empty space.
"It is a bit of a mess."
"That's the way I am. A mess." He laughed.
"Artists can be messy… The rest of the apartment is spotless."
"That's how he likes it… Uncluttered. Eiri thinks we can put a folding futon in here for seating and for guests… if we ever have any…" That was a strange idea. He thought that only Eiri's brother might stay over though, and that wasn't something he was looking forward to in any way, "I should go out and buy his book today… I have time off. I should read as well as compose."
"He doesn't have a copy around somewhere?"
"I would guess he does but I don't go snooping through his things. For all I know I might open a priceless first edition and ruin it."
"Aa… You are still getting used to each other's ways and spaces." She smiled.
"True. It is new for Eiri to live with someone. I do my best to test his patience with me."
"You are so funny…" She laughed at him.
"Thank you!"
Shortly the door opened and Eiri returned to find Shuichi talking to his editor who hopped up from the sofa and bowed to him immediately.
"Oi… I didn't think you would cheat on me so soon, Shuichi." He smiled and placed the package he was carrying on the hall table, wandering over.
"I'm only sharing tea with Aiko-chan!" Shuichi protested, holding up his cup.
"I am glad at least that you woke up enough to let her in. Thank you for coming by."
"I was glad to. I am very excited to get to work. I had better go then. It was so nice to talk with you, Shindou-san."
"Yeah. Thank you for the company."
"Welcome. Excuse me." She departed.
"Cheating on you…" He laughed as Eiri sat beside him.
"I am very jealous." He smiled more, "What were you talking about?"
"A lot of things. She said she would take a cooking class with me because her cooking sucks too."
"How exciting."
"How did things go?"
"Very well… I should write a novel about myself. There is apparently a lot to write." Out came the cigarettes again, "And I need to quit smoking…"
"Tell me about it…"
"It's not happening soon." He gave Shuichi a look, "I have enough to fight my way through without nicotine withdrawal to add to it." He sat back, rewarded by his first drag.
"I'm just happy you're considering it. That means that you'll be healthier and live longer and be with me longer!" He grinned.
"I think… I need to start smoking more."
"Aaa… So mean… Uncle Kentaro says it's okay for us to visit starting this weekend. They're having a slow and peaceful time right now so it will be perfect. We can drive up on Friday."
"Good. It will be nice to just soak for a long time."
"Get all water wrinkled… Hey, Eiri… What are we going to do when we retire?" He watched Eiri's eyes grow wider, "What?"
"How do you think these things and just throw them out of your mouth? Retirement?? You're not even 20 yet!"
"So? I was just wondering. Do you want to live in the city still or in the country? Do you think you'll just keep on writing novels until your fingers seize up? Or do something else? I don't think I'll be able to run around on stage singing pop music when I'm 50…"
"Or dye your hair." His expression relaxed.
"Yeah. That would look stupid on an old guy."
"No comment…"
"So what do you think?"
"I will probably always write until my brain stops. Novels… Articles…"
"Okay… Maybe I will teach music."
"A good idea. Perhaps by then your taste will have improved or my hearing will have gotten bad enough that it won't matter."
"Or I could write music for movies… Soundtracks." He smiled, ignoring Eiri's jabs, "You know… Aiko-chan said that we're alike in our art."
"You and she?"
"No! You and me…"
"Hnn… Remind me to fire her, she's not of her right mind."
"She's so nice. Don't even joke!"
"How are we alike?"
"That we make people feel with the work we do."
He nodded, "Yes. That is true, I suppose."
"So I've decided that as part of my hiatus… I am going to read one of your books!"
Eiri folded his arms, looking rather amused, "I will show you where the dictionary is when you get stuck on the big words."
"I'm trying very hard to get to know you… and you insult me still." He sighed, hugging his legs to his chest, chin on his knees, fully pouting.
"Which one are you going to read?"
"Aiko-chan said to read your most recent. So I will go out and buy it today, no matter what you say."
"No you won't." He got up and wandered off, Shuichi watching him go down the hall and into his office, returning shortly with both the dictionary and a copy of his book, "I have a half a box of these. So if you ruin one there are plenty more. Enjoy."
"Thank you." He smiled and accepted, putting the dictionary aside and just staring at the cover. Eiri Yuki…
"What are you thinking?"
"I think I am a little nervous to read it. Inside these pages are your thoughts. Thoughts that you had before you knew me too."
"I did think before I knew you…"
"And date. A lot." He scowled.
Eiri shrugged, "I am with you now. Isn't that what is most important?"
"Yes." He sighed, "I will work up to it."
"There is no hurry. I won't be upset if you never read it."
"Well, I will be… What's in the box?" He pointed toward the hall table.
"Ahh… The self-centered son of a bitch you love has more CDs for you."
"That box… is full of CDs?" His jaw dropped.
"Yes. For both of us."
"Whaa… Where did you get them? Why so many suddenly?" He felt himself drooling as Eiri went to gather the package and sat with him again.
"I do go to New York regularly… One of the things I enjoy is going to the used music and bookstores. There are so many of them. I always find something and take back what I can without annoying customs then mail the rest home… But they don't use MD there so it's all CD. Lots of things that are out of print…" He tore open the box, "So… you are allowed to use any of my CDs now."
"Eiri!!" He gasped.
"Shh! Listen first. Scream later…"
He nodded and clapped a hand over his mouth.
"You know I like music… just not Jpop… I have a lot of it… I know you have wanted to get into it all and you have been very good to not mess with my things… I have many, many things that are no longer in print so if you break or otherwise scratch my CDs, I will make you regret it, Shuichi Shindou. Do you accept these terms?"
He nodded again.
"Good." He opened the box and shuffled through, coming up with one, "Go put this in the stereo."
"Yes, master!" He hurried to obey, nearly overwhelmed to tears at the low sound that came rolling out of the speakers, across his senses. He drifted back to the sofa, sitting down and just listening as Eiri continued to sort through the CDs, "This is… so beautiful." He looked at the case, not sure what it said on the cover.
"Isn't it? It's pretty old stuff… but amazing nonetheless. I've heard this band on the independent stations on the web. Glad I found a copy."
"How do you do that?" He looked at Eiri.
"Do what?"
"Just be effortlessly sophisticated. Stylish. Trendy. You know everything cool."
"Chh… It just looks that way. It's all an illusion."
"I've been into music for ages and I've never heard of any of this stuff!"
"You've been stuck in Japan. That's why. I spend a lot of time on music forums on the internet too. It's just an interest."
"What forums?"
"English language ones. I will show you."
"Do you have any CDs from the bands they compared our new song to?"
"Yes. Patience." He patted Shuichi's leg, "Did they come move the bed out yet?"
"Oh, yeah. It's gone. The room seems huge now."
"Since you're on hiatus we can go find you something new to sit on."
"Really? Today?"
"Why not?" He shifted his gaze from the CDs he was going through, raising an eyebrow at Shuichi.
"Aren't you busy?"
"I'm not feeling like working." He shrugged.
"Oh, okay… Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine. Just want to be sure my wife has something to sit on." He smiled briefly, "Sorry…"
"Sorry?"
"The nut-doc said you might be offended by my calling you 'wife' even in jest."
"I'm not offended. I can't believe you told her that…"
"Well, I left out the part about the uchikake…"
"Good… I really don't mind it, though. Why would she think I would mind?"
"She said something about your perhaps feeling emasculated by my referring to you as a female partner. She reminded me that you're just as much of an adult male as I am, regardless of our age difference."
"I think you've figured that out by now." Shu smiled and laid his hand atop Eiri's where it still rested on his leg.
"Yes, I definitely have."
"You still seem a little off…"
"Just sorting through a lot of stuff in my head. Like I said, I should write a novel about myself… How fucked up I am."
"You're entitled to be. Me, I was just born this way."
"Shu… You're a little weird, but that's not abnormal. Everyone is a little bit weird."
"Some weirder than others. Like Manager K, for example… If there's anything you want to talk about, I'm not busy."
"I am." He put the CDs aside and got up, crossing the room and turning off the music that had only just started, "Are you coming?"
"Furniture shopping?"
"Yes."
"Sounds like fun."
They went out into the world again, a couple reporters again snapping pictures and they headed off to the subway.
"Some day we'll be boring…"
"Some day." Eiri agreed, hand still firmly on Shuichi's far shoulder.
He had a grand time at the furniture store, wondering too what they should get for Hiro and Ayaka's engagement gift.
"Maybe some kitchen things. Hiro didn't have much stuff at the apartment."
"Ask Hiro before you do that. Ayaka may have already taken care of that for them."
"True. I guess she's a better wife than I am." He joked, "I bet she can cook too."
"She definitely can." Eiri nodded.
"Waaa… I'm second best again."
"Not true."
He wandered away, seeming a little annoyed by the attention they were getting from the other shop customers. Shuichi just smiled and distracted the curious people from following Eiri.
"Some day we'll be boring." He thought again, "But for now… I don't mind the attention so much."
Eventually he found Eiri outside having a smoke, leaning against a wall that was out of the direct sight of customers.
"Hi!" He leaned on the wall beside him.
"Mmh."
"Embarrassed to be seen in public with me, huh?" He nudged Eiri with a little laugh.
"No. It would be nice if people cared less some times." He reached over and rubbed Shuichi's head, "It will be good to go away for a while. Spend some time alone."
"I agree… I've narrowed it down to two. Do you want to look? I wouldn't trust my judgement if I were you…"
"Sure… Hey…"
"Hmm?"
"I'm not embarrassed of you…"
"Okay…"
"I appreciate that you redirected their attention."
"I could tell it was getting on your nerves. I'm good at distracting people." He smiled.
"Yes you are… Some days are just better than others for an abundance of attention." His hand found Shuichi's.
"Yeah… It would be nice if we could just hang out and be ignored some times. I like it when I'm on my own because I love talking about the band to anyone that wants to listen… But when we're out together, I wish I could put up a sign to say 'do not disturb' for a while."
"It won't work."
"Maybe if it was a really big sign." He was glad to see Eiri smile before dropping his cigarette and crushing it out.
"Hey, at least you got us a 'media day off'. It's not all bad… Let's go."
As he figured, Eiri went for the more reserved looking futon sofa. They paid and left, Shuichi toting along a big potted plant he had decided they needed to have in the apartment. He could hardly see around it so Eiri was steering him somewhat as he explained the benefits of having a plant at length.
"Besides… The apartment is just too… sterile." He concluded, "Mr. Plant will help!"
"You give this plant magical powers, Shu."
"Yeah!" He almost tripped going into the elevator.
"You're responsible for it."
"Okay. I know how to water a plant. No big deal."
"It is a responsibility though. It's alive. It will depend on you. Don't kill it."
"I won't!" He placed it by the windows in the living room, throwing his arms up in the air, "Welcome home, plant!"
"Weird…" Eiri concluded, going off to the kitchen make coffee.
The store delivered his new seating later and Shuichi sat on it happily while Eiri watched.
"Good?"
"Yeah!"
"A good place to sit and work?"
"Yeah… and to lay down for a nap too." He stretched out, "Ahhh… Thanks. It's perfect."
"Welcome." He sat down too, "Shu…"
"Mmh?"
"I am actually worried about what will happen with this growing level of fame you're experiencing."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
He smiled, "How do I put this without being too… ironic?… Or perhaps just hypocritical… Fame brings many things, Shu… It brings attention when you just want peace. It also brings fans… and the potential for more casual encounters than you know. I'm wondering what will happen with you the first time beautiful women throw themselves at you?"
"I'll tell them that there's only one person in the world I want to go to bed with. I'm not going to cheat on you, Eiri."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I just am… Just like I was sure about you… Can you possibly not notice? I'm not just playing. Chances are way better that you'll cheat on me!"
"Not going to happen. I've decided on life with you… I've had plenty of such things happen to me, so I know what you're looking forward to. It's not easy to say no. It's just so easy to say yes…"
"Yes, I love you." He smiled and watched Eiri smile back, "How can you be sure that you'll be able to keep saying no?"
"A strange thing has happened to me. My eyes don't wander. When I have been propositioned, it has been simple to say no. I just thought of you."
"Wow." He sighed.
"You do something to me that hasn't been done before. Sex with you isn't just sex. It's love. No one night stand is worth losing that. Nothing is worth losing that… And too, I couldn't hurt you that way…"
"Thanks… Hey wait… Who was propositioning you recently??" He sat up, "Tell me…"
"Well… There were a few women in NY… and a couple at the studio where I was interviewed when I came home..."
"Eiri!"
"As I was explaining… nothing happened."
"What did you say to them?"
"To the girls at the studio, I just laughed and ignored their flirting. The women in NY were more persistent. I explained that I was already taken… When that didn't deter them I explained that I was taken by a man. Then they were offended by my being gay so I didn't contradict them… and then the one decided that it was her duty to convert me… That was actually rather funny…"
"I wish you were uglier..." He continued to frown.
"Na, don't wish that on me. Then you wouldn't want me any more!"
"Not true. I would still love you… Swear nothing happened?"
"Nothing happened, I swear… It's actually a relief in a lot of ways."
"Huh?"
"To just say no… To know I have someone to come home to." His hand stroked Shuichi's cheek, "I love to come home to you…"
Shu sighed as Eiri kissed him, "I love you…"
"I love you too… Shuichi… Let's break in your new futon, hmm?"
"YES!"