I had work to do to take care of the horses; they were dependant on me to take care of them. I was surprised to see Daryl pop up in the barn. I wasn't sure if he was fully coherent, he had a confused look on his face when I told him I wasn't my mother. I hated telling him that my Grandpa was dead; the look in his eyes made me think it hurt him as much as it hurt me for Grandpa to be gone. Daryl seemed pretty shocked that I patched up his wounds, probably because to him I was just a kid. Little does he know about me right? I guess we have whatever is left of our lives to get to know each other. No one ever knows how long they have in this life with things gone to shit like they have.

I knew shit was going to hit the fan when mom rolled up in the Jeep while Daryl was on the front porch watching for her. I didn't realize Mom would be yelling at me in German, I would have thought they would have had it out about me before I even stepped out on the porch. I couldn't have been more wrong in that. I could hear them yelling inside the house, I had to see what was going on, curiosity was getting the better of me. Mom sent me back in the house as they continued to yell. I went back inside to wash the dishes from lunch. It scared the hell out of me when Daryl snatched my hand out of the sink, staring at the ring he gave Mom on my hand.

I saw the look of a man who felt cornered when I confirmed my mother's words of Daryl being my father. I knew he had gone through a pregnancy with my mom before when they were kids, well, a pregnancy that ended in loss. I couldn't imagine the emotions that rolled within him, knowing he had lost a child, and then not knowing he had a daughter for almost 18 years. I couldn't understand why my mom never told him about me. They were adults, there was no reason why she couldn't have, and we were home fairly regularly when I was growing up. It was a wonder how we never ran into Daryl when I was a kid.

The pain in Daryl's eyes when he told me that he was broken and fucked up; that he didn't know how to be a dad and had only known from my Grandpa, nearly broke my heart. I could feel tears welling in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry in front of Daryl. I didn't care that he was broken, fucked up and mostly clueless on the whole Dad thing. I was happy to have him in my life than not. I needed a Dad in my life with Jake gone; I needed that male strength that my mom couldn't provide. At least Daryl was honest with me when I asked him if he still loved my mom, I respected him for that, even thought it was plain to see he was pissed at her. Hell, I think everyone was pissed at her for all the secrets she hid from us all.

I hated having to explain Jake to Daryl; I really didn't think it was my place to. Mom should have been the one explaining it to him. I was surprised and a bit happy when Daryl led me out to the stable after our little chat in the cooler. I always felt more comfortable outside on horseback than I did stuck in a building. It seemed like Daryl was more comfortable outside on horseback as well. I should have known with him basically living with my family that he would be an expert horseman. In the quiet of the pastures I asked Daryl the questions I needed his answers for, I had Mom's side, but I really needed to know his. Maybe she hid things from me, and I knew Daryl had nothing to hide from me. I saw his body tense when I asked him specifically about Mom and his relationship, as well as how he grew up. It was hard listening to him tell the story of his father abusing him and my uncle. I was glad that the monster was dead, I don't think I ever wished someone dead before in my life as I did then. It was so hard for Daryl to tell me, I couldn't imagine the horror he lived through. It made me love him that much more, for his strength and resilience to survive. I thanked him for telling me as a grin crept across his face, I didn't think it was often that people showed him any appreciation. I owed Daryl so much that I couldn't begin to thank him for, my life alone being the biggest one.

When we pulled up to the stables mom was there waiting, she looked pissed. I wasn't about to be in the middle of them, especially with the emotions raging through me with the talks Daryl and I had, as well as the fight they had earlier in the yard. I put my tack up and ran for the house, I didn't mean to shoulder my mom when I came out of the tack room, she was standing in my way. I figured it was best that I got dinner ready; I knew I was hungry and I'm sure mom and Daryl were as well. I could hear the yelling in the house, and then it stopped. Within a few minutes Daryl came into the house, his skin flushed his eyes full of fire. He picked up my gun off the counter and sat down at the table with a pencil and a kitchen towel. It caught me off guard when he began taking the gun apart and checking it over. I hadn't done it in months, even though I knew better. I guess it was his way of calming down, and watching over me. I was glad for it, that someone other than mom was watching out for me.

Mom came in awhile after Daryl, sitting down at the table across from him. Their eyes never met as she watched him care for my gun. I really just wished they would just talk to each other or fuck and get it over with. This tension between them was dangerous. At least we were all in agreement over dinner to clear out the Miller's house, the supplies were needed. Mom brought up Daryl's group moving in, which shocked me. I was sure mom would never let anyone else move in, but I think Daryl trusting them made her want to trust them as well. It wouldn't hurt to have more people here to keep watch; we could always make do with food somehow.

I should have figured Daryl had my bow when I noticed it gone from the kitchen after I cleaned up from dinner. I found him in his bedroom, wiping my bow down and tuning it up. I needed to check on his stitches, but I also secretly wanted a quiet moment with him. Was that selfish of me to want as much time as I could with my Dad? I didn't think so. I didn't mean to bring up my uncle when I asked Daryl if he wanted pain meds. Most people that had the kind of work done that Daryl did were in serious pain for days afterwards. The choke in his voice when he said he didn't want to get addicted like his brother told me that my uncle was dead, and I should have just shut my mouth rather than pressing Daryl for details. Daryl handed me my bow, I took it as a cue to him sending me off to bed. I had a lot to think about while I was on watch, given the day's overload of emotions and information.

Outside was all quiet for the four hours I walked around the house and the grounds outside. Mira was happy to nudge me with her nose when I walked into the stables as Zip nickered for a carrot. I just don't understand what's going on between mom and Daryl. I know she lied to him, hid things from him, and I know he's angry and hurt. I just wish they could figure things out and be civil to one another, at least for my sake. I want them both in my life; I need them both in my life, as much as neither probably thinks that.