Chapter 14 - Letter Home
Eternity's Struggle

Eternity's Struggle, the sequel to A Glimpse of Eternity, is a complication of short stories, letters and life-snapshots that are sprinkled throughout the events of Mass Effect 2 following both Commander Kiara Shepard and Kaidan Alenko. While they're in chronological order, its not the complete storyline of the whole of Shepard's missions as she prepares, then faces, the Collectors. There will be SPOILERS. Please read the Eternity Series - Disclaimer for more general information.

Disclaimer: I own only the parts of the individual personality of Commander Kiara Shepard I have developed inspired by the Commander Shepard in the gameplay. I do not own, nor hold any rights, to any of the characters, dialogue, storylines or any part in or of the "Mass Effect" game series. I want to thank Drew Karpyshyn and his staff of amazing writers, animators and voice actors. These are for fan enjoyment only and no money had been made on these stories.

Shepard laid on her bed as she watched through her ceiling the void of space as it passed by. More emotions than she knew what to deal with raged through her. They'd installed the IFF and EDI had tested it when they'd left for their last mission. It had been a trap, just like the Collector ship. Now, thanks to a virus embedded in the IFF, the crew of the Normandy had been taken by the Collectors.

Joker was the only member of her crew she hadn't taken with her. He had saved the Normandy when he unshackled EDI. At least they still had the ship and the team she'd built, only the standard crew compliment having been left behind. It was a small miracle, at least, but it just reinforced how dire their chances were. Even with all of their upgrades and flashy retrofits, it was truly looking like a suicide mission.

She would get her crew back. She would save them, destroy the Collector's base somehow and if there was any way to get them home, she would find it. She watched as the stars rushed by. Urz laid at her side with his head on her thigh. Perhaps it was because he was an animal the Collectors hadn't taken him. She didn't know but she was glad he was there. He was an element of stability she'd come to rely on greatly.

Preparations to go after the Collectors were almost finished but Shepard knew she had one last piece of unfinished business: writing her mother and saying what needed to be said. Looking at the data pad, she sighed and began recording the message.

"Mom," Shepard started, taking a deep breath. "This is it. The last leg of my mission. I wish I could tell you more about it but I can't and still make sure this message gets to you. I know you know I'm on a mission to stop the Collectors. Where we're going to do that…" she paused a moment. She didn't want to worry her mother but she knew she needed to know. She needed to know why her daughter wasn't coming home.

"…its dangerous. More dangerous than any mission I've ever undertaken. What I can tell you is where we're going, I'm not sure if we're going to make it back. It's looking like a one-way trip but I promise, mom, its worth it. When this mission succeeds, it will strike a blow to the Reapers. And this mission will succeed. There are no other acceptable outcomes. I will weaken them and delay their coming for as long as I can." Shepard's voice was strong with resolve and passion for the cause she was willing to sacrifice her life for.

Her voice turned heavy though, "But make no mistake, the Reapers are still coming. Please, don't let the Alliance become complacent. The threat was not the Geth. It never was. It was always the Reapers and if the galaxy is to survive, we need to come together. I need you to trust me on this."

She took another breath, "I've asked Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko to make sure, regardless of the outcome of the mission, that the fight continues. Seek him out. He's a good soldier and I trust him with my life." Her voice hitched a moment as she let out a breath, "With more than my life." She didn't hide the emotion she knew was coming out. She knew her mother would read between the lines.

She wanted to tell her everything but there wasn't the time. Her voice wavered a bit, "Watch out for him for me. Please. I know when I died…the first time…it hit him hard. I'm sure it hit you and dad beyond hard too but this time…" her voice trailed off. "The last thing I want is for any of you - you, dad…Kaidan - to have to go through what you already went through a second time. I just hope with this message you can find some closure should the worst happen. Find some peace in the event I don't make it home." She tried to push away the welling of emotion threatening to overtake her so she changed the subject.

"I've found a good crew. They give me hope that if there is any chance of making it through this mission, we will. It's funny," she smirked, "I never….when Cerberus brought me back, I didn't expect to trust anyone I needed to acquire for this mission. I still don't trust Miranda Lawson but I understand her better. I hope, for her sake, in the end, she'll see Cerberus for what it truly is. Jacob Taylor does, at least to a degree, so that's something.

"The others though….they're a good bunch. They're family," she chuckled, "as diverse and psychotic a family can get, mind you, but family. I've grown particularly close with a girl we picked up on a penal colony - and yes, mother, I know what you're going to say to that. She's alright though. Cerberus did a lot to her, messed her up real good, but she's coming around. I see good in her and I know she's got a bright future ahead of her if we get through this. She's…I don't know…she's kind of became like a sister to me. Or, rather, what I always imagined a sister would be. Her name is Jack.

"There's also this drell assassin - yes, I know, mother, you don't have to say it there either - who has a unique outlook on life and on the death. His name is Thane. He's poetic and reminds me a bit of a warrior-priest. He's given me a lot of counsel I've come to rely on. He has balanced me as has the asari Justicar, Samara. They've given me a lot to reflect about in my life. You can't begin to imagine the others we've got on the team too. There's Tali'Zorah, the quarian, and Garrus the turian who both helped me stop Saren. Joker and Dr. Chakwas too are with me. Its good to have them at my back.

"Then we have," she laughed then affectionately, "a krogan again, if you can believe it. His name is Urdnot Grunt and…he's definitely opened my eyes to new cultures, especially krogan culture. They're so fascinating. I've even managed to gain the trust of a varren named 'Urz' who would never leave my side if he got the choice. Then we've a salarian doctor, Mordin Solus, who's…I think you'd like him. He reminds me a bit of Uncle Arthur, eccentricities and all. And, if you can believe it, we've got a fully actualized AI, too, who has surprised me for the better at every turn."

Shepard grew quiet a moment then, "I want you to know about the people whom I'm going into this mission with. They're good people and I trust them to get us through this. Still, the closer we get, the more I think about how much they rely on me and I wonder…will I do better than I did on Akuze? Will I be enough to bring them home?"

She sighed heavily, "I know what you would say. You'd tell me to look at it logically and decide from the facts, not the emotion. You're right. I know the answer to that. It's yes, because there is no other option available. When the feat is the most impossible, that's when I make sure it gets done. It's my job to make sure this mission succeeds and its my job to make sure we make it home. I will get them home, no matter what the cost."

"I'm sorry, this has…turned out longer than I expected. I just wanted you to know as much as you could. I love you, mom. You are the strongest, smartest, most beautiful woman I know and everything that I am, everything I have become, I owe to you and dad. My strength, my resolve, my ability to lead…its all you," Shepard felt the tears prickle her eyes as she tried to reign it in, though all the strength in the world couldn't keep the emotion from her tone.

"Oh, and," she chuckled, though it was a sad one, "let dad know I got a bottle of Peruvian Whiskey in my quarters and I'll not let the Shepard tradition die. Have him crack one open for me too, tonight, will ya? For good luck."

Shepard didn't hide the emotion as her voice cracked. She took a moment to regain herself though she barely did, the pain of saying goodbye heavy in her words as her tears filled her eyes, "I have to go now. I love you mom. Dad. Take care of yourselves and know that I'm doing this for you and for Kaidan and for the chance for a future for our galaxy. I'm proud to be your daughter. I love you."

She took in a deep breath, "Goodbye," she swallowed, a tear falling down her cheek, "Signed, Your Daughter, Kiara."