THE CHASE CHAPTER: 14 RATED: PG WARNING: OUT OF CHARACTER SUMMARY: LUKE'S STAY IN THE HOSPITAL DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and storyline/plot are the property of september(25). No copyright infringement is intended. *A Special shout out to My Beta, OnceInALifetime, Who Puts Up With My Grammatical Errors Et Al Mistakes. A Huge THANK YOU For Your Time, Energy and For Accepting the Task at Hand.
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Luke groaned groggily, licked his lips and shook his head before he woke up and opened his eyes. He was facing the window; the day was bright and sunny. 'Typical California. Leave it to me to move here to think my creative juices would flow freely. They DO flow well and I am successful, but I should have stayed focused and not fallen for anyone. All the guys I've dated have been jackasses. They're so superficial. Each and every one of them. They're all buff, good looking and conceited. I should have known better than to get involved with any of them. Especially Noah. He's the only one I truly loved. I thought I loved others, but when I met Noah I knew what love was and what I had been missing with my exs. Now he went and betrayed my trust. I have to move. Screw the townhouse. I don't want to live there. I'll miss Taylor and I like Kris, but Noah? Yea, I will miss him- his smile, his laugh, his arms around me. (sob) His kiss..... I'll miss him... (sob)....'
Suddenly, he heard a cough and closed his eyes, feigning sleep. 'Please don't let it be him. Please?!'
"Luke? Don't cry honey."
Luke opened his eyes and turned away from the window to face Taylor. He smiled and breathed softly with relief. "Hi." he answered. "How are you?"''
"How are you?" Taylor asked and moved from the brown chair against the wall to the bed. He sat next to Luke and took his hand. He caressed it and looked at Luke with a worried look on his face.
"Better thanks." Luke answered and stopped crying. He saw Kris come into the room with two cups of coffee.
The young blond grinned and said, "Luke! You're finally awake."
"What time is it?" Luke craned his neck to look at the wall behind him. He read the clock and exclaimed, "2:50? In the afternoon? Wow! I feel like Rip Van Winkle."
"Who is that?" Kris asked, looking at Taylor.
Taylor shook his head and laughed loudly. "Kris! You don't know the story about the man who fell asleep after a night of drinking on a mountain. He woke up to find everything had changed- houses and the townsfolk. Different stories say he was asleep for 20, 50 and even 100 years. Depends on which version you read."
"Oh." Kris said, embarrassment. He still had no idea what story Luke and Taylor were talking about. He shyly gazed at Luke and remarked, "Your color came back. You're going to be alright, right?"
Luke nodded and laced his fingers, placing them on his lap. 'Where IS Noah? He didn't come? I knew he didn't really love me. He doesn't care enough to see how I am.
"I can go to the cafeteria and get you something to eat since you missed breakfast and lunch." Kris sat on the bed and handed Taylor a coffee as he sipped his own.
"You've been here that long?" Luke asked in amazement. "Why?"
"We care about you." Taylor laughed as though that was the dumbest question he'd ever heard.
'Where is Noah?' Luke sighed and looked at Kris, then Taylor. He looked down and twiddled his thumbs. "Yea, ok. I'll eat a little something. Like jello or pudding."
Kris handed his coffee to Taylor, gave him a kiss and walked out of the room.
Taylor frowned and wondered what thoughts were running through Luke's mind. He decided to ask, "What are you thinking?" Luke could always tell him to mind his own business if he didn't want to confide in him, but he felt really close to Luke since they shared a kiss and relied on each other that night over 2 weeks ago. It wasn't a sexual feeling, just a kinship from their reliance on one another.
Luke looked up and said, "My book."
Taylor set the coffees on the table near Luke's bed and leaned forward. He whispered near his ear, "Lying doesn't help."
Luke ran his tongue over his teeth and muttered, "Him."
"Ah, him." Taylor nodded. "He is eating a late lunch downstairs. He waited and waited for you to open your eyes and low and behold, as soon as he left the room, you wake your ass up." Taylor laughed and patted Luke's hand.
"He's here? I don't want to see him. Make him leave please." Luke raised his eyebrows. "I can't face him. I can't look at him without seeing that prick ex of his on his knees sucking him off. I can't even say his name. Taylor, You have to stay in the room with me. I don't want to be alone with him. He's going to try to get me to forgive him and I can't. I just can't."
Taylor stared at Luke and replied, "You do talk a lot Luke. There were a lot of can'ts in that speech. You have to think positively. Think 'I can'. You CAN do this Luke. You have to resolve this whether you two argue or talk. Make up or go your separate ways. Decide to be friends or enemies. You can figure this out. Personally I'd like you to be amicable to him, just to see what he has to say."
"HE wasn't very considerate of me when he cheated, why do I have to be nice to him?" Luke pouted and crossed his arms defensively.
"Because you're a grown up." Taylor grinned. "Act like it. You know, he is sorry. He talked about this for the past 2 weeks and how horrible he feels. Luke, I know that doing drugs is not an excusable reason for someone to cheat, but Kris was drunk that time he brought that guy, Trent, home and had sex with him. He regrets it. He was under the influence and he didn't know what he was doing at the time either. Noah said he didn't really remember what happened until he looked down and saw his ex right there."
"I don't care. He should have left as soon as he realized no one was at the shoot or when Zachary walked up to him naked." Luke bit his lip and looked away.
"He didn't though. He's living with the consequences of what he's done. He loves you Luke. Don't waste that, you might never be able to get it back."
Luke frowned and asked abrasively, "Whose side are you on?"
Taylor shook his head and answered, "No one's."
"Then choose." Luke uttered in a sharp tone. "You have to either be with me or against me." Luke stared out the window anxiously.
"That's not fair and you know it. I like you both. I see both sides Luke." Taylor stated angrily. "I'll stay for a little while when Noah comes in, but I really think you need to sort this out, just the two of you alone. Today."
Noah walked into the room just then with an assortment of flowers in a vase from the gift shop. His posture showed he was confident and strong minded because he thought Luke would still be asleep. His step faltered when his eyes met Luke's.
Taylor had turned to see what or who had put such a hurt look on Luke's face. He saw Noah and said, "Hi Noah. How was lunch?"
Noah's gaze drifted to Taylor and he gave him a faint smile. "It was fine. Hospital food, ya know." He suddenly felt small and insignificant. He wanted to hide behind the colorful roses, snapdragons and carnations.
Taylor nodded, then grinned when he saw his boyfriend's face. Kris walked in behind Noah carrying a peach colored bowl filled with tapioca pudding. He set it on the table and rolled it to Luke's bed. "Oh shoot! I forgot a spoon. Taylor? Come down to the cafeteria with me." he winked.
Taylor stood up, leaned over and kissed Luke's cheek. "Try with him? For me."
Luke gave him an eye roll. "You are mean." he said to Taylor, then pursed his lips in defiance. Taylor smiled a sneaky grin and left the room with Kris.
Noah was still standing between the bed and the door. He fidgeted and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Um..." he started to say.
"Umm... what?" Luke frowned at him and drew himself up higher on the bed.
"I guess I don't know what to say." Noah looked down at the floor.
Luke let out a short sarcastic laugh. "'I'm sorry' comes to mind. So does 'please forgive me', 'I was an asshole'. Or how about getting on your knees and begging?"
"Will that work?" Noah asked with hope, feeling that the flowers were a stupid gesture. He set them on the table and faced Luke.
"No." Luke answered sharply and looked into Noah's very blue, very apologetic, and very tired looking eyes. He looked older than his 24 years.
Noah actually felt older too. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since he'd moved out of the loft. He'd been having nightmares about Zachary and Luke as well. He stared at Luke and felt Luke's pain when he looked into those brown eyes. It made him want to run to him, kiss him all over and make the hurt go away. Then he thought that if he went away, Luke wouldn't feel so depressed anymore. The hurt he caused this precious human being that he still loved, but that he still wanted to hang on to with hope, deserved so much better than he could offer. He still held on to the fantasy that Luke could someday forgive him. He already knew there was a slim to none chance that Luke would take him back and that had to be something he would have to live with.
Noah suppressed the urge to beg and plead. It would only show how desperate and pathetic he was. He turned around and pulled the brown chair closer to the bed. He sat next to Luke and leaned forward on his knees with his fingers entwined together. He looked down and asked, "I know I shouldn't even ask, but-"
"Then why bother if you already know you shouldn't? What's the point?" Luke muttered snottily.
Noah shrugged and said, "You're right, forget it."
"No, now I'm curious. Say it anyway." Luke demanded despite himself.
"I was going to ask if I could drive you home when you're released, and if I would be able to continue to live at the townhouse?"
"I don't care if you stay because I'm moving out."
Noah raised his head and sat up. "What? No, I'll move. It's your place. I just thought, maybe, we could still be friends and at least be able to live under the same roof. I guess not." Noah hung his head once again.
"I highly doubt we can be friends." Luke shifted his body to turn away. "I don't trust you as a roommate or anything else we were to each other. That trust has dwindled to nothing... destroyed."
If only I hadn't smoked that weed, none of this would have happened. Zachary is scum! Pretending he didn't like the pictures I took just to get me alone and seduce me. I wish I had seen through his lies. I should have known better- he always was a liar and always will be. He's a sneaky bastard!' Noah had a thought and instantly perked up. "I can make it up to you. I will Luke!"
"You can't! Nothing will build up that trust again. Not one damn thing!" Luke grumbled as doubt continued to fill his mind. He wanted to believe there was something Noah could do, but the images of Noah with Zachary assaulted his imagination. He sighed and wanted to cry with the thought of Zachary at eye level with Noah's crotch. He had so many questions that he really didn't want answers to. Did Noah enjoy it? Did he want Zachary back? Had he seen his ex since the blow job? Why did he do it to begin with? Why did this have to happen?
"Luke, I know what I have to do now! I know this is going to work. I just know it." Noah grinned. Unintentionally, his hand found Luke's and he grasped it. Luke pulled away, but not before he felt the stirrings of longing in his body for Noah. He was confused. He didn't think Noah would still have an effect on him because he thought he hated the brunette. He realized he didn't. What he hated was that Noah swore he'd be faithful and he hadn't been able to keep that promise. He understood now that maybe he could forgive Noah, but things between them would never be the same.
"What are you going to do?" he asked Noah. "The trust is gone. I may be able to forgive you someday, but I can't trust you." Luke turned away and swallowed. His throat felt constricted and he was sure he was about to cry. Thankfully Taylor and Kris entered the room with a spoon. Kris walked to the bed and handed it to Luke and told him to eat. Luke looked at him angrily for taking Taylor with him, but when he saw Kris's smile, he couldn't be mad. Kris just had that kind of smile that made you want to smile in return.
Taylor walked to the bed and laid a hand on Noah's shoulder. He asked, "Did you have a good talk?" His eyes searched Luke's. What he saw discouraged him. 'Shit. I thought Noah would have had an 'in' already. He's a sweet talker, why hasn't Luke forgive him?'
"Not especially." Luke narrowed his eyes at Taylor. He didn't appreciate the 'game' Taylor was playing.
"I thought it was ok." Noah turned his head and looked up at Taylor. "I have to make a call and run an errand. I'll be back." he said, stood up, then simply left- leaving everyone watching the door close.
"Huh." Taylor said and scratched his head. "I wonder what that was about." He turned to Luke and smiled, "Oh well."
"What did you guys talk about?" Kris asked. Taylor shot him a look that told him it wasn't really tactful to come out and ask like that, but now that he'd asked, Taylor wanted to know too. He turned back to Luke and raised his brows.
Luke debated about telling his roommates. They would only push harder to get Noah and him back together and he didn't want to be pushed. "I told him I was moving out and he told me he would move instead. Either way, one of us is moving so you don't need to try to get us together."
Kris's face fell. "But, Luke, you can't move! Noah can't move! The four of us are friends."
Luke chuckled at the irony of Kris's definition of friendship. It was way off. "Friendship means trust Kris. I don't have that with him."
"Aw come on Luke!" Taylor frowned because Luke was so stubborn. "The guy was high, not in his right mind and you know that Noah wouldn't have done that under any other circumstances. Don't you?"
Luke closed his mouth and tightened his jaw. He didn't answer. 'Aren't they listening to me? I said I don't trust HIM. I don't want a relationship with HIM. Why are they being relentless? Why are they bothering me and not yelling at HIM for what HE did? Why is our breakup MY fault?'
Luke turned his head slowly to look at Kris, but he couldn't say what he wanted to, to Kris anyway. His young face looked so damn innocent. Luke looked at Taylor and muttered, "I want you both to leave. You haven't listened to a word I've said."
"Yes-" Kris began.
Luke glanced at Kris and said, "No, you haven't. I've expressed that I want nothing to do with him and you left me alone with him. Now you're telling me to be friends with a cheater!" Luke looked at Taylor and asked hypothetically, "What if you found out your twink there had an affair with someone? What if he invited Trent back to the townhouse and had sex with him while you were still dating each other?"
"I'm not a twink." Kris looked nervously at Taylor and whispered, "Am I?"
Taylor laughed at Kris and said to Luke, "Ok, you got me there. I would really be pissed off just like you are, but your circumstances are different. Noah was under the influence of a drug."
"What would you do anyway Taylor?" Kris asked and snaked his arm around Taylor's waist.
Taylor kissed his cheek and said, "Mm, probably beat the shit out of Trent, then who knows. I'd deal with you somehow."
Luke sat up and pointed at Taylor. "See! You'd be angry. I have a right to feel how I want, and how I want to feel right now is betrayed! So leave me alone."
Taylor stepped forward, letting Kris's arm drop. He leaned over Luke and asked loudly, "Why? So you can wallow in your self pity? People make mistakes Luke. It's a fact of life."
"No shit sherlock! I made a huge mistake by trusting another guy. I knew he was going to hurt me eventually."
"Wow Luke, I didn't know you had such high expectations of your boyfriends." Taylor said sarcastically. "Sounds like you didn't have a speck of trust to begin with. You had a preconceived idea that all your past boyfriends were going to leave you and inevitably they did. You know why? Maybe they sensed you didn't trust them!"
"Shut up!" Luke huffed and looked away dismissively.
"You know, I think you need a dose of reality. Noah has been suffering over these past two weeks too, not just you. He said he apologized to you. He isn't too proud to beg for forgiveness. He wants to do what ever it takes to-"
Luke covered his ears. "Shut up! I don't want to hear about Noah!"
Taylor pulled the blond's hands away from his ears and pinned them down to his hospital bed. Kris gasped at how forceful Taylor was being. He felt bad for Luke, but he knew Taylor knew what he was doing.... he hoped.
"Listen to me and stop acting like a dumbass!" Taylor growled. "I don't care what Noah DID. It's in the past and he's sorry."
"You can't talk to me like that!" Luke yelled to Taylor's face.
Taylor replied dryly, "Get over it and get on with your life."
Kris said in a careful voice, "He's trying to help Luke, we both are."
Luke struggled with Taylor. The brunette finally released Luke's arms and stood back. Luke didn't want to admit that Taylor was right. He wanted to stew some more, make Noah suffer the way he'd been suffering. After a few moments he said, "I have a headache. I want to rest."
Kris took Taylor's arm and pulled him away from the bed. Taylor stopped and went back to the bed. He bent down and whispered to Luke, "Take care of yourself. We'll come back later, call my cell or Kris's cell if you need anything before we get back."
"Screw you." Luke mumbled half angrily, half jokingly.
Taylor chuckled and said, "In your dreams honey." and kissed Luke on the cheek. "Later." he smiled and backed away with Luke's glare meeting his eyes.
Kris said, "See you Luke."
"Yea, go back to high school twink." Luke grumbled and turned away. He hated the fact that they were right. He hated being told what to do and how to do it. He thought life was pretty good before he got roommates, but it was great afterwards and it was amazing after he got to know each of them- even though he got hurt badly. He'd never make that mistake again. Never date a roomie was a rule that he would never break again.
"I graduated from high school 3 years ago Luke." Kris made a goofy face at him like Luke should know better, and turned around. He walked out the door first, leaving Taylor laughing. Luke couldn't help giggling either. Kris took things so literally.
"Take it easy Luke." Taylor smiled.
Luke returned the smile and waved. He looked at the tapioca pudding as his stomach growled. He hungrily gobbled it up, then took a nap.
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A nurse was quietly checking Luke's pulse when he woke up and looked around. "What time is it?" he asked, seeing the room was dark- save for a light above his head. The curtain was closed over the window so he couldn't see if the sun was out or not.
The nurse looked at her watch and said, "7:30pm. Your friends are around here somewhere. Probably the cafeteria. They didn't want to wake you."
"All three of them?" Luke asked with wide eyes.
"Hm, no I only saw two. A young blond and a dark haired man." she said and documented Luke's heart rate. She took his blood pressure too, then said, "Remind them our visiting hours are done at 8pm."
"Ok."
"I'm going to bring you something to eat. Do you have a preference for turkey salad or egg salad?"
"Turkey salad please." Luke replied, watching the nurse wheel the blood pressure machine out of the room. He used the remote to turn on the tv mounted on the wall and watched some mindless dribble until Taylor and Kris came into the room.
"Hey! You're awake." Taylor said and hugged Luke, who remained stiff and didn't give into the hug.
"Hi Luke." Kris said and gave him a hug too, but a longer one. "How are you now?"
"Fine." Luke said and turned off the tv. He looked towards the door expectantly but no one else came in. 'I thought Noah was going to try to get me to forgive him. He doesn't even bother to show up with Taylor and Kris.'
Taylor watched Luke's eyes closely. "He didn't come with us." he said, referring to Noah. "I haven't seen him since this afternoon here at the hospital."
"I don't care. I don't want to see him. What makes you think I was wondering where he was anyway?"
Taylor shrugged, pretending not to know, but Kris spoke up and said, "You looked at the door like you thought he was going to walk through it."
Luke glared at Kris and lied through his clenched teeth, "No I didn't. I'm waiting for the nurse to bring my sandwich! Ah ha! There she is, see?"
The nurse came into the room with a smile and a tray. She set it on the table and rolled it to Luke's bed. "Eat up. Your doctor is coming in tomorrow morning and will most likely discharge you. She also is going to suggest a few names of good psychologists."
Luke scoffed after she left. "I am not going to see some psychologist to analyze me. I know what's wrong with me already. His name is Noah Mayer and if I can forget him, I'll be just fine." Luke unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite.
Kris took a seat in the brown chair while Taylor sat at the end of the bed. "Why don't you tell me what's really bothering you?"
"Noah Mayer." Luke stated and ripped a bite off his sandwich with his teeth.
"No, come on Luke. It's just us." Taylor looked at Kris and back at Luke. "Just me and Kris. Tell me what is really bugging you. It's not Noah. It's something else."
Luke set his sandwich down on the plate and opened the carton of milk. He took a drink and stared at Taylor for a long time. Taylor blinked first and said, "Fine. Don't tell me. If I leave, will you tell Kris?"
Kris sat up and said with an eagerness to please, "You can tell me anything."
Luke shook his head, "No, no I can't." he pressed his lips together and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep the feelings from bubbling up. It didn't help much.
Taylor saw Luke's mood change. He moved the table out of the way and hugged him. Kris took Taylor's spot at the bottom of the bed. He didn't know what else to do so he gently rubbed Luke's leg for comfort. He heard Luke crying while he asked Taylor about Noah.
"Why didn't he come? Where did he go? I thought he'd be here. He said he still cared, but he doesn't."
"I'll call him on my cell. Just a minute." Taylor said and reached in his pocket.
"No!" Luke said and touched Taylor's arm. "Don't! Please. I'd rather he come of his own free will and not because you told him to."
"Ok." Taylor agreed. "I won't call."
"Kris either." Luke looked at Kris.
"I won't, promise." Kris smiled shyly.
"Thanks for being here for me. Sorry I was so bitchy before."
"It's ok." Taylor smiled and took Luke's hand. "We just want you to get better and I pushed too hard. I'm the one who is sorry."
Luke shrugged. "We're both sorry. What about you Kris? What are you sorry about?"
Kris looked up in surprise. "Uh, me?"
"Yea," Luke smirked. "You have to be sorry too."
Taylor laughed and looked at Kris. "It's alright kiddo. He's teasing you."
Kris nodded and said, "Ok Luke, if I have to be sorry about something, then I'm sorry for this." then he promptly grabbed Luke's ankle and tickled his foot with his free hand.
Luke let out a whoop and a laugh and kicked his leg to get Kris's grip to loosen. He succeeded.
Kris grinned, hearing Luke's laughter and was proud that for a few moments Luke was happy, even if it was just for a few moments.
"Ohhh... Kris that was very, very naughty." Luke's laugh slowed to a chuckle. "Taylor, you need to tie him up and tickle him for me."
"I don't do tickling, but the tying up I can do." he replied and winked at Kris, whose cheeks were reddening.
"Uhhh-" Kris stood up and backed away. "I have to ummm," he turned and pointed to the door. "go get a drink of water."
Taylor watched Kris leave, laughing about how uncomfortable his boyfriend was.
"God he's easily embarrassed isn't he?" Luke smiled.
"He's really fun to tease." Taylor replied and became serious again. "So, when Kris and I see Noah at the house tonight, do you want us to say anything?"
"No! Well, unless he asks. Then just tell him I'm feeling better, but that's it. Nothing else ok?"
Taylor nodded, "You got it." then he looked at Luke long and hard. His eyes were beginning to get some sparkle back and he definitely looked healthier since his color returned. But he still needed to gain back about 8 pounds.
"Anything else?" Luke asked.
"No, why?"
"You're staring at me." Luke smiled and pointed to his tray. "Mind if I finish eating?"
Taylor set the plate with the sandwich on it in his lap. "Eat away."
Luke picked up the rest of the turkey salad sandwich and asked, "So, what's with the staring?"
"Oh, I was noticing how much better you look." Taylor smiled.
Luke nodded as he chewed. "Now that I'm eating a little here and there I don't feel as weak. I do feel better in the physical sense."
Taylor teased, "So your just mental then?"
"Ha Ha." Luke smiled, then paused. "Taylor?" he said in a quiet, serious tone.
"Hm?" Taylor leaned forward to hear better.
"Why do you think Noah let Zachary do that? Wasn't I good enough for him?" Luke sighed and dropped the unfinished sandwich on the plate. He let his head fall back as he looked worriedly at Taylor.
Taylor sighed. Luke should really be asking Noah these questions, but Taylor decided he'd try to answer as best he could- according to what Noah told him."He told me he didn't know what was going on at the studio. He couldn't remember things and he felt numb." Taylor raised his hand and combed his fingers through Luke's hair. He grinned and asserted, "And yes! You are good enough for him, better than him in fact. Better than any guy lucky enough to date you." He lowered his hand and rested it on the bed.
Luke looked down and took Taylor's hand and held it. He slowly said, "But I'm not a model. I don't look like the guys Noah is used to dating. He sees perfect faces and bodies and takes pictures of them."
"Luke, there is no such thing as perfect. Don't sell yourself short. He loves you because of your personality and who you are. Plus, you DO have a great body and you're very attractive, but remember, there is more to loving someone than their looks."
Luke let go of Taylor's hand when the nurse came in with Kris. "I'm sorry, visiting hours are over." she said.
Kris walked to the bed and smiled. He kissed Luke's forehead and said goodbye, then Taylor did the same.
"We'll come in the morning to take you home." Taylor waved.
"Bye guys." Luke returned the wave and sighed. He thought Noah would have shown up before visiting hours were up, but he hadn't. He rubbed his face and looked at the door with hope once more before he fought back his tears.